death tribble

Pathfinder : Hell's Bright Shadow - Runing Up That Hill
 
Ayva and Civilla have combined their art and magic skills to create a painted construct version of Nox, Thrune’s late bodyguard. In a move that will no doubt infuriate Thrune when he finds out, the fake Nox is clearly now ‘redeemed’ and a follower of the good gods, in the form of less black leather. There’s also the advantage that the painted version is mostly unkillable.
 
Civilla: ‘We killed the traitor! Wait, she’s back’
Ayva: It could be a hundred years later and the painted version will still be protecting this city. I love that. 
 
They can even hide her inside a separate painted locket.
 
It’s probably just as well that Terzo isn’t around for some of his colleagues' discussions, such as their thoughts about a blood bank run by vampires.
 
Rajira: Bloooood.
Ayva: It’s the currency of the soul.
 
Ayva: ‘This one must be a diabetic, it’s quite nice.’
Rajira: ‘Very Sweet.’
 
Apparently this week we have to deal with the mountain fortress in the Menador Gap, one of the main passes between Kintargo and the bulk of the Chellish Empire - the most important pass now the Glorious Reclamation elsewhere in Chelliax is causing major international problems.
 
Terzo: How much do you want to bet they've improved their security protocols after that time we walked into the prison and walked out with all the prisoners.
Rajira: It’s hard to improve your security when you don’t know what went wrong.
 
Leaving nobody alive behind you (and more then once, no bodies either) is helpful that way.
 
GM: I need to send you some more images for NPC standees, the pawn package was missing some.
Rajira’s player: … oh, P. A. W. N. 
Terzo’s player: I was wondering.
Rajira’s player: Hey, I‘m Calistrian, we’re open-minded.
 
Our ally Raxus discovered something rather interesting about the keep - apparently the dwarven engineers that built the place included a self-destruct mechanism in case the pass had to be sealed completely. The Silver Ravens intended to use the mechanism, or an Earthquake spell, and weren’t particularly concerned by the subsequent loss of life since the keep is currently held by troops loyal to House Thrune. Lictor Octavio Sabinus, formerly of the Hellknight Order of the Torrent, points out that even a spell of that magnitude might not destroy the fortress, and might kill or destroy valuable prisoners, magical items, or information. And anyway, leaving any survivors is out-of-character of the Ghosts of Kintargo.

Terzo: I regret to say my first question is ‘how many taverns are there between Kintargo and the mountains’, because I can’t carry that much booze.
 
Fortunately the rebellion has enough funds and allies now that Terzo can acquire a second carriage and footmen we can actually trust. 
 
The current commander of the keep is one Lucian Thrune, who is not exactly pleased about being way out here, although it does keep him out of harm's way of the Glorious Reclamation, and rumour says he isn’t getting much sleep due to understandable stress.
 
Civilla: Interesting, interesting
Ayva: I can hear the evil laughter from here, Civilla
Rajira: I don’t suppose you have any dream magic?
Civilla: Funny you should mention that…
 
Lucien also has a pet wyvern that he raised from an egg. And they’re pretty scrupulous about only letting merchants with the proper papers, known agents of Thrune, and members of the Church of Asmodeus, into the keep and through the pass. The best idea we can come up with to get inside the keep and not be watched too closely is if we pretend to be retainers of House Thrune, there to collect a high-value prisoner on behalf of Lord Inquisitor Barzillai. Lucian Thrune might well have questions, but we can honestly say that the Inquisitor isn’t going to tell his minions anything they don’t need to know.
 
Civilla: ‘We don’t know the name of the prisoner, we don't know who is delivering them, our orders are simply to collect the prisoner and return to Kintargo.’
 
Of course we’ll have to have suitable uniforms, paperwork, and repaint one of the carriages.
 
Terzo OoC: So, anybody know the nearest chop shop?
Ayva OoC: Yes, the local butcher does a good line in sausages.
 
Fortunately, even when he rolls a Nat 1, Terzo’s Diplomacy is high enough that he clears the Ears of the City check and confirms that the soldiers in the Keep have heard all kinds of rumours about Nox - that she’s variously been killed, on a secret mission for House Thrune, or that she turned traitor, was captured, and welded into her own armour. We might still be able to use the fake Nox as a decoy.
 
Keep Soldier: Hail travelers! I must inform you that passage through the Gap is currently restricted! State your business!
‘Sergeant’ Rajira : *salutes* Soldiers of Thrune! Here to collect a prisoner! *holds up forged letters*
Keep Soldier: Enter for inspection! Open the gate!
Rajira: Come on you slovenly lot! And don’t embarrass me!
 
Ayva (not entirely out of character): It’s not that we mind the city being put under an iron boot, we just object to it not being OUR iron boot.
 
There are eight armed soldiers in the courtyard, and Lucian Thrune.
 
Ayva: Fortunately this courtyard is the exact right size and shape for a Fireball. 
 
Lucian doesn’t look like he’s slept in days. Rajira salutes and bows, explains why we’re supposedly here, and hands over the documents, which drip with all the dire penalties one might expect for anybody impeding the mission.
 
GM: *sigh* and like so many of the NPCs in this adventure Lucian does not have a Sense Motive skill.
 
Lucian directs us to the common rooms for now. Apparently he has some kind of minor genie servant, by the name of Zorumar, who doesn’t look very happy about being at Lucian Thrune’s beck and call, or being ordered to provide us with food and refreshments. 
 
‘Sergeant’ Rajira: Line up, you lot and look grateful!
Ayva: We are grateful for the slop we are about to receive!
‘Corporal’ Civilla: That might offend our hosts.
Ayva: Sir! Sorry Sir!
‘Sergeant’ Rajira: I’m a sergeant, I work for a living.
 
At least Zorumar appreciates our thanks, and even apologises that he can’t provide more than Created Food And Water for now. Rajira dismisses the rest of us and Terzo sidles off to join the nearest card game. Rajira and Civilla get one of the guest rooms - the rest of our party will be staying in the barracks. Apparently Zorumar cooks all the food for the keep, and does the cleaning, and is forbidden from using any of his magic apart from Create Food and Water. That does suggest one ‘in’ for us - if Sergeant Rajira orders us to help with the cleaning rather than stand around like soldiers with too much time on their hands, we’ll get a good look around. Instead, Civilla plans to send the fake Nox out to look around the fortress - she’s a very sneaky painting. And, after all, ‘Nox’ will be making a dramatic appearance as the keep is destroyed, anyway. 
 
Civilla has her Homunculus to scout out the keep while Terzo keeps the garrison amused with a singalong, but it couldn't find the self-destruct. Although there was a whole bit with the wyvern scaring the pants off Civilla when she was looking through the eyes of her homunculus and it got within licking distance...
 
Instead, we take advantage of Lucian Thrune’s massive sleep debt - it would seem he’s been hitting the Mwangian Marching Powder hard. One Sleep spell from Terzo cancels all the effects of the Insomnia Powder, and the commander promptly passes out. Rajira helpfully gives him an ear exam with a six-inch dagger.
 
Then we made friends with his captive Genie, who does know where the self-destruct is.
 
Terzo OoC: So as usual we identified and recruited everybody that was here under duress, and are preparing to murder everybody else
Rajira OoC: Yup. Civilla even talked the Genie into rescuing the two halflings in the cells when he leaves.
 
Civilla: Unfortunately none of us are dwarves, although Terzo might pass. 
Terzo: Alas, I brought wine, not ale.
 
The route to the Big Red Button has statues, which is about as likely to instill paranoia as a hall lined with suits of armour. There’s also pretty clear evidence that the dwarves set this place to their own tastes, so it’s just as well that we know enough about other religions (despite Chellish laws) to fake it. Unfortunately the security systems can also detect Evil, which means they take considerable interest in some of the party members. 
 
Terzo: Well, clearly they’re faulty, none of my friends are Evil.
Civilla: You KNOW some of us are selfish. You KNOW this.
Terzo OoC: And Denial is not just a river in Osirion.
Ayva OoC: Yes, it runs through some other countries too.
 
Although it turns out the actual problem is some of the equipment Rajira is using. Civilla conceals her true Alignment as a matter of course. Rajira hurriedly changes what she reads as.
 
Archon: WHY HAVE YOU COME
Rajira: To destroy this structure
Civilla: *headdesk* Because the gates have been taken by the enemy - forces loyal to Asmodeus.
 
Civilla: They’re ARCHONS, they probably aren’t even aware that Cheliax exists, that’s Prime Material Plane business.
 
Archon: So the time has come to destroy the keep. Make sure you set the timer correctly. 
Civilla: Right, how do we do that, exactly?
 
It’s also fortunate that Civilla’s insatiable appetite for book-learning included Dwarven Runes and engineering.
 
Civilla: This is arcane. In the normal sense, not the magical one, I mean. They’ve used fifteen different versions of the word for ‘chain’ and every different version for ‘crank’!
Terzo: Knowing dwarves, this probably wasn’t innuendo?
Ayva: Not unless they had a really intense fetish for technobabble.
 
It’s also pretty important that we know which timekeeping system the builders used - not a simple question. Hopefully we’ve set it to go off in 20 minutes. Even more hopefully, the garrison don’t stop us from leaving. Happily, it’s not like we had to fight our way out again. We can very easily claim to have received new orders by Shadow Eagle. 
 
Civilla: They kinda want us to leave anyway.
Terzo: Surely my singing wasn’t that bad.
Ayva: I would never tell you that.
 
We’re watching from a safe distance as the ground starts to shake, the building starts to crumble, and the mountain pass collapses into impassable rubble.
 
GM: For once, you guys are the load-bearing boss.
 
Terzo: I am feeling a bit guilty about that - these guys were just soldiers. It’s not like they were torturers or redactors.
Civilla: If they didn’t get out when the building started shaking it’s their own damn fault.
Rajira: You fight for Cheliax, you get the horns.
 
A few of the rank-and-file were fast enough to get out. The wyvern flies in circles over the wreckage, looking for its master.
 
Rajira: That’s the one I feel bad about, it’s just an animal.
Civilla: Rajira, Rajira, don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be at it all day.
 
Zorumar, as promised, has left the halfling prisoners near our disguised carriage, and a generous gift for freeing him - a magic carpet. The halflings would no doubt prefer to escape to freedom, but it is unfortunately probably safer for them to stay with us, and act as Civilla’s slaves, which is the usual fate of halflings in the Chellish empire. But destroying the keep is very clear evidence that there is an organized conspiracy against Barzillai Thrune. He might well take the rumours seriously, now. Especially when we have our fake Nox drag some of the survivors out of the rubble, saying only “I’m sorry, but it had to be done”. There’s also the factor that our rebellion contacts and cells are so thoroughly established around Kintargo that it’s our influence, and not Thrune’s jackbooted thugs, that’s keeping the streets quiet. In fact a good number of his street patrols are actually on our side.
 
Civilla: Most rebellions fail because they launch their takeover before they have the populace on their side. We are not going to make that mistake.
 
Barzillai Thrune: It’s quiet. Too quiet. *distant boom* What was that? 
Minion: Uh… that was our only access to reinforcements. 
 

Fixing the cisterns is going to be a major engineering problem.
 
Gonno: Possibly we should hire some dwarves.
Shev: That's racist. Assuming Dwarves would be the best engineers available.
Miya: Quite. I've met some very capable elves.
Shev: Excuse me, we’re RIGHT HERE.
 
Certainly, the ratboi Skave has some good ideas regarding the first cistern. And the Ysoki probably have a cousin they can get in to draw up the blueprints. 
 
Shev: I’ll make sure any blueprints Skave draws up are kept away from any open flames.
GM: I don’t think he drew them on flashpaper.
Shev: You’ll be amazed what a trace of sulphur infused in the paper will do.
 
Kaegor, the head of the town militia, is elected the next mayor. He’s a retired fighter.
 
A joyous occasion! Miya’s wedding day! To the most eligible bachelor in town, Falx Vandruber, miller and grinder.
 
GM: So you take his surname?
Miya: Since I didn’t have one, yes!
 
Gonno makes sure to have a proper marriage bed carved in time for the wedding, so they can be carried into their house on it. He’s going to be busy - there’s four other marriages on the same day.
 
Shev: But not me. I’m starting to get some funny looks from the colony. I’m 19! I thought I’d met someone but they kept turning into a human every month. 
All: ….
Miya: I think I missed something. 
 
Skave has two ratlings now, though. Shev believes the reason that he isn’t married yet is because he’s an insufficiently good catch as a husband. Since he’s a follower of the god Erastil, he decides that the obvious solution is to hunt something suitably impressive - like a griffon. Gonno, who got his wife simply by being a nice guy, refrains from comment. Apparently, according to our friendly neighborhood dryad, there’s griffons nesting on some cliffs 5 days walk south of Selversgard that have been causing some problems. We’ll probably have to take silver, since we’re traveling during the full moon and werewolves are known from the area. Admittedly Gonno doesn’t have to worry about lycanthropy, since technically he isn’t a humanoid. It’s the same reason Enlarge Person didn’t work on him in the ant nest.
 
Arram: Tieflings make good werewolf hunters. Not much good if you're fighting Smokey the Were-bear though.
Shev: I don’t want to hear about bringing any of the eggs home to raise - they’re intelligent creatures and some of the gods consider that slavery.
Arram: A bit ironic given you plan on killing them
Shev: The gods can be funny that way.
 
Shev: If you see any unusual trees on the trip, DON’T TOUCH THEM. They’re probably dryad homes.
Miya: So don’t go around feeling up any dryads, Gonno, your wife will be annoyed.
Shev: It’s just occurred to me that the neighborhood dryad might be slightly pissed with me that I’m trying to find a mate (that isn’t her) and she’s sending me down there to die.
 
Arram also points out that griffons are sufficiently vengeful that any survivors will certainly follow us back to Selversgard.
 
Arram: In fact I’m pretty sure all the leonine creatures are sapients - although some of them are d***ks.
Miya: Nobody cares if you kill a Manticore.
 
Arram: It’s also a bad idea to pick a fight with anything powerful enough to generate a sorcerer bloodline.
 
So, it would seem the griffon idea is a bad one, although crossed wires are understandable when it comes to what a dryad considers ‘causing problems’. Perhaps they were using a dryad’s tree as a scratching post. She does suggest an alternate target - a minotaur. Those are certainly problematic.
 
Shev: When a minotaur has a problem, they make it everybody’s problem. 
 
Just in case the minotaur has a briar maze rather than anything more traditional, Shev makes sure that Gonno brings his tree felling gear. Both of them already carry chalk. 
 
Shev’s player: And not Arram’s maze-clearing method - we’re saving that as a last resort. You know, I’ve got a mage character that can’t start forest fires?
Arram: Then what even is the point?
 
Unfortunately our chosen path will require a large detour around a completely overgrown valley.
 
Skave: We can always make our own path.
Arram: Your opinions regarding anything fire-related do not count.
Miya: He only set the crops on fire once.
Arram: And Me Twice.
 
Gonno, bringing up the rear of the march, thinks he spots something running across the track behind us. Quadrupedal, he thinks, but not at all sure. Shev can’t find any tracks, which is odd, since his tracking skills are sufficient to find tracks on bare rock.
 
Skave: Great, we’re being followed by a ghost.
Shev: Worse, a ghost-pirate-ninja
Skave: THAT’S WORSE.
 
Unfortunately Gonno and Arram, on the middle watch, think it’s a perfectly fine idea to wander off after a mysterious voice calling Gonno’s name in the middle of the night. Luckily for the party, Vok, the riding rat, is unaffected by the Mass Suggestion spell, and his squealing wakes up everybody else. 
 
Skave: I throw my pillow at Vok.
 
The rather horrendous badger-headed deer-thing waiting to devour Gonno and Arram attempts to do so. Gonno does not fare well, and if it wasn’t for Vok he would now be quite dead. As it is, he’s only mostly dead. Fortunately for him, the creature opts to retreat when everybody else comes after it. Unfortunately, it promptly turns around to attack everybody that doesn’t stop to help Gonno. Miya goes down. 
 
Gonno OoC: Well, look on the bright side, if we do manage to kill this thing we don’t have to go after the minotaur. 
 
The creature is rather shocked to learn what Shev’s blackpowder weapon can do - presumably it’s never seen one before. It retreats again. Unfortunately the musket misfires on the second shot AGAIN. Miya and Gonno get dragged back to the campsite before the monster returns. Arram recognises it as a Leucrotta. Leucrottas are reputed to be unholy hybrids of hyenas and a demon lord, can lure people away with mimicry, and can bite through steel. It only knew Gonno’s name because somebody asked Gonno if he saw anything, when it was stalking us earlier.
 
Skave spends the rest of the day giving Gonno and Miya what medical aid he can provide. As far as we know, Leucrotta don’t have Regeneration, so it’s probably out there licking its wounds. Shev wants to track it down and finish it off as soon as Gonno and Miya are up to fighting again. Fortunately for us, our collective sneakery is better than its perception, and we have it cornered in a small cave. 
 
Gonno tries to punch it in the face - unwise with something that can bite through steel - but between Shev’s duckfoot pistol and Arram’s sorcerous pryomania the creature is not a problem for long. It has a well-chewed spellbook among the debris in its lair. The symbol on the cover is that of the evil god Norgorber, and unsurprisingly the cover is made from human leather. 
 
Gonno: No wonder the beast was chewing on it.
 
The number of deranged and evil wizards in the woods around Selversgard DOES seem disproportionately high. You have to wonder why they keep wandering off and getting themselves killed.
 
Shev: Dude, the Twilight Academy is JUST OVER THERE.
GM: Is it any wonder you keep running into wizards like this?
Arram: Lot of weirdos at that school. That said I can probably sneak in there if we ever need to - get my Illuminati robes.
 
We also find an IOUN stone - an orange pyramidal form, which is promptly orbiting Shev’s head.
 
Shev: What’s it do?
Arram: I’m tempted to say it’s the cursed one.
 
It’s cracked, so the only thing the stone can do is grant Prestidigitation.
 
Skave: Otherwise known as Least Wish.
Shev: AKA Spell Not On My List - gimme!
 
Unfortunately the monster won’t make a suitable trophy for Shev.
 
Shev: Leucrottas are Ugly As F***
Arram: But if you kill a Minotaur and hang its head on the wall it just looks like you killed a cow.
 
Further on, we encounter a foul-smelling, oily pit, with a truly gigantic oak tree overhanging the hole. It smells like several million years of death. That’s because it’s petroleum.
 
Skave: Shev, can you get me a sample?
Tree: I have no objection…. ….  but I doubt … it will be of use for you.
All: ….
Tree: *turning to look at Shev* Greetings … …  little one. 
 
According to the treant, the stuff is poisoning the local vegetation. He’d quite like the stuff neutralized, but that requires Skave’s alchemical knowledge. The treant moves off as the Ysoki works. Shev thinks a treant would be very useful for turning over the soil, if they could be persuaded to stay near town.
 
Miya: It might be worth keeping in mind what our village is known for. Asking a treant to hang around a lumber town might be in bad taste.
GM: It’s a purely natural material.
Shev: So’s Arsenic.
 
Unfortunately, since it’s natural, there’s no magical solution to neutralize it. It might be valuable to certain alchemists, but that would attract more humanoids to the deep woods. 
 
Shev: Your best bet is to find an Earth Elemental to help you.
Miya: That or find a wizard who knows Fireball.
Shev: NO.
 
We promise to get the druids involved, and he tells us where to find the minotaur.
 
Treant: As far as I know… …. … there is only one.
Shev: oh GOOD. Arram, how good are you at NOT using fire?
Treant: *waves slowly goodbye* Watch out…. For the sprites….
 
The sprites are actually inclined to help us - the Minotaur kidnapped their chief’s daughter, in order to pressure their shaman to make magical items for them. The entire sprite community have to go collecting material components. The one talking to us has a list - but it’s almost too small for us to read. And it’s in Sylvan. Happily, Arram can read Sylvan and has glasses to magnify it with. The Minotaur has been stocking up on healing potions. Unfortunately, the Minotaur has built his labyrinth in a cave. It would appear the dryad's little bird friends aren’t a very reliable information source. Happily, Vok can track by scent, which makes navigating the maze much more easy. Upon coming up to a door, Skave unlocks it, then steps back. Unhappily, nobody detects the giant Solifugid hiding behind it.
 
Miya: It looks like what spiders have nightmares about!
Skave: This is why I let other people open the doors!
Gonno OoC: No wonder the Minotaur needs all those healing potions, with these things wandering about.
Miya OoC: It was behind a locked door, I think we can assume he knew it was there.
 
At least if we die we’re all guaranteed a pretty good afterlife, should we die down here. Even followers of Asmodeus go to hell and get trained out of silly ideas like ‘free will’. In much the same way the Bessemer Process removes impurities from iron.
 
Arram: A fear of death is highly suspicious.
Miya: Spoken like a true inquisitor.
 
While we’re patching ourselves up, the Minotaur is sneaking up on us in the dark, holding a very large crossbow.
 
Arram: COW!!!!!
Miya: Finally, something intelligent that isn’t a bug *feints*
 
The Minotaur flees back into its maze, wounded. This could be very bad, if it’s heading off to kill the sprite hostage.
 
Skave: Get back here and fight, you overgrown hamburger!
 
Unfortunately it turns out the treant and the sprites were as badly misinformed as the dryad - there’s a second Minotaur.
 
Skave: …. It’s right behind me, isn’t it.
 
The little alchemist is violently gored. And that Minotaur goes violently berserk when it sees what we’ve done to the first.
 
Gonno OoC: Look on the bright side, Shev, you won't have to get married because it looks like you’ll be adopting your brother’s kids. 
 
Vok nearly bites the thing’s head off.
 
Arram: Which is pretty darn impressive - there’s a lot of neck on a minotaur. Well done that Vorpal Rat.
 
Skave manages to scramble out of the way of the Minotaur’s battleaxe. Gonno gets swatted with the battleaxe instead, and Miya gets gored in the face.
 
GM: Well, if you’re ever in the market for face jewelry, you won’t need to get your tongue pierced.
 
The second minotaur goes down.
 
Miya: Your future wife better be AMAZING - you have a matching set.
Shev: At least Mrs Brisby. 
GM: Of course what you’re actually saying with that tongue injury is GMAHHUHMUHmuh
 
At least the sprite chief is grateful that we rescued his daughter and shaman.
 
Shev: I need a trophy from the minotaurs as a bride price.
Sprite: Ah, you’re trying to bribe someone to be your mate - that’s fine.
Shev: … Well he’s not wrong.
Sprite: We cannot move Minotaurs.
Arram: I’d be impressed if you could.
 
They CAN expertly skin the two minotaurs, and sew up the holes we left in the hides - Shev is going to have two extremely creepy cowskull-topped cloaks for his wedding. At least we don’t have to go back into the maze - we triggered the first trap and attracted the minotaurs' attention.
 

Gonno the Oread and Galiante the Tiefling are parents again - a son, whom they name Vyndos. Surprisingly, he’s fully human. Shev’s a dad as well. He considers that a good time to quit being a troubleshooter for the town. 
 
Shev: I’m not adventuring anymore, I have a business to run and a kid now.
Arram: After the whole thing getting a wedding gift for you I’m glad we didn’t have to do it again. 
 
Arram has his own problems - another woman in town has made it clear she considers him Selversgard’s Most Eligible Bachelor. He endeavors to prevent the problematic love triangle before it becomes acute. He also finalises his purchase of the Tolland Manor, on the condition he converts the downstairs into the new schoolhouse. The Council want to turn the previous schoolhouse back into a warehouse.
 
Arram: But I’d bought that one too.
Gonno: And the Council want to buy it back. 
 
Miya’s dojo got formally accredited by the Church of Irori, the god of self-perfection (although the GM initially said Kord, the Stormlord).
 
Shev: You’ve lost all cred - now you’re *official*.
Arram: The Church of Kord is basically an association of very friendly gym-bros.
 
Skave is still coming to terms with being a widower, and thus turns down the advances of another Ysoki. She is annoyed, but doesn’t seem to be planning any vengeances. 
 
People wander in and out of Selversgard all the time. Some are just seeking work, or fleeing trouble in their past residence, but recently somebody arrived that will challenge Arram’s position as M.E.B. - a flamboyant aquatic elf pirate who says his name is Eddison, plonked his feet up on a table in one of the taverns, and made himself at home. He says he used to work at a restaurant in Magnimar, L'Anus Serré. He’s one of those people that people either adore or deeply dislike. The Blue Dragon inn provides him with work, once income becomes necessary. 
 
A bit after that, on the festival day of Cayden Cailean’s ascension to godhood after a drunken bet, Hellknights turn up in town. Fortunately, one of them is Alveson, from the Order of the Nail. He’s back to having two arms, at least. They’re here to let us know they’ve hunted down three of the chain devils, but the fourth evades them.
 
Alveson: We were hoping to hire a boat so we could return to base without having to cross country again.
Skave: Sure, sure. Come this way and we’ll get some beers in you first.
Alveson: That would be most welcome.
 
At least Hellknights of the Nail aren’t Fun Police, and welcome good beer and hot food especially on a clear and very cold night like tonight. One of the other employers asks Eddison if he’s seen Mikki anywhere - she was scheduled to do a dance number in 15 minutes. Probably a more tasteful dance than is happening at the Fisherman’s Arms. 
 
Arram: I try not to drink too much, what with the whole ‘shooting fire from my hands’ thing. So I come to the tavern with the better food. 
Eddison OoC: Which is the Blue Dragon, since I started working here.
 
Arram pops upstairs to Mikki’s room while Eddison manages the crowd. He finds her in bed with one of the Hellknights.
 
Arram: Ah, Mikki, you’re on soon.
Mikki: I’m off soon.
Eddison OoC: Just as well I didn’t come upstairs myself - I’d have left the door open while I said that.
 
Mikki does make it to stage on time, and her paramour descends to rejoin the party looking only slightly flustered. The party winds up earlier than it might, but people want to get home before their doorlocks freeze off.
 
Arram: And it’s Ascension Day, we started early. 
 
Gonno and Galiante are reeling homewards from the Fisherman’s Arms singing ‘Show Me The Way To Go Home’. 
 
Eddison OoC: So we can expect a third sprog in 9 months.
 
Eddison: What’s up Mikki, you’re looking a bit down there.
Mikki: Well, it’s hard to celebrate when you’re this sore.
 
Apparently the Hellknight was a bit rough.
 
Mikki: I got well and truly Nailed.
 
Eddison arranges a hot bath. He has a few magical tricks that will help, but then he’s a failed wizard.
 
Mikki: You’re an angel.
Arram: By ‘failed wizard’ did they open the door first?
Eddison: I was allowed to leave upright.
 
Skave, who is busily drinking himself blotto, is distracted from this important task by growling in the common room, currently full of cheerful drunk and asleep customers. One of the Hellknight is standing upright, snarling, ripping off his uniform, and sprouting a muzzle and a lot of hair. The Ysoki reaches for the Panacea he prepared earlier - sobriety seems required.
 
Skave: Cool, I haven’t seen one of these in a while - *glug* - wait, this is an issue. ARRAM WE HAVE A PROBLEM. Easy boy, easy!
 
Sudden Werewolf is probably bad, since the town militia doesn’t have a specific warning signal for lycanthropes, and Eddison only prepared a few entertainment spells for the holiday. Fortunately one of them is Snapdragon Fireworks. And Arram had Web prepared.
 
Mikki: What the hell is going on?
Eddison: WEREWOLF
Mikki: Werewolf? Oh cr*p. *starts singing some magical encouragement*
 
The werewolf breaks free of the web (briefly) and goes for Mikki. Eddison has a suspicion exactly which Hellknight this was.
 
Arram: I’ve got precisely one more combat spell that’s safe to use in a building. RAY OF FROST.
 
The werewolf tries to bite away the webbing restraining it, bites itself instead, and passes out.
 
Arram: …. Did I just knock it out with a Web spell?
Miya: It knocked ITSELF out with your web spell. Remember that when you tell the story later. 
 
While Arram and Eddison debate the best way to secure the werewolf, he reverts to human. Unfortunately he’s not just unconscious, he’s dead. Mikki, now wearing a robe, comes to check his identity.
 
Mikki: F***!  F***! F***!
Arram: … I hope that is not a vector of transmission.
Eddison: Er, exactly how rough was he, earlier.
Mikki: Rough, strong, no he didn’t bite me.
Arram: I’m not an expert and I’m HAPPY to do more research but I’m pretty sure you're fine.
Mikki: What if I’m not, what if I turn into a monster??
Eddison: I’m sure that’s not going to happen, and you know why? You danced so well that Cayden Cailean wouldn’t let it happen.
Mikki: Well thanks, but I’m Desnan.
 
The remaining Hellknights are a bit shocked. And get a dressing down from Eddison about how they didn’t even suspect lycanthropy after a wolf ran up to them in the middle of the night, in a swampy area with a stream running through it south of town, savaged one of their hands, and ran off again. The woods around Selversgard are notorious for lycanthropes.
 
Miya: Wait, the full moon isn’t for weeks. 
 
That is certainly odd. Newly turned werewolves shouldn't transform until the next full moon. At least they’re not infectious until they turn themselves. Closer examination reveals a dot of transformative magic inside the late Hellknight’s hand - a small black barbed teardrop. Arram pries it out into a silver dish, just in case. The transformative aura is fading, but Arram can’t tell what the teardrop is made of.
 
Skave: Hmm?
Arram: I swear to god if you try to touch this I’ll cut your hand off.
 
It’s made of volcanic glass - good for making temporary magic items. There’s one volcanic area up on the plateau, but obsidian is not widely available around here. Arram runs off to get the druid Silas (Mayor this year)  before the magical aura fades completely.
 
Eddison may be a Caileanite, but he did do a Harrow reading early that makes a little more sense in retrospect, and Desna-worshippers like Mikki should appreciate it and at the very least it should distract her from her worries. Admittedly the ‘outsider threatening the community’ probably refers to something we already know about.
 
Arram: Yeah, that’s the chain devil, it’s been running around loose for months.
 
Silas examines the obsidian flake and recognises that it’s not just transmutation magic but druidic magic. That could make it much more infectious, theoretically, if it’s exploiting the natural essences of growth and change. Bad news for Mikki.
 
Arram: At least the contraceptive spell is entry-level magic at the Bardic college.
 
Assuming she actually uses that spell, or the prophylactic tea based on the Desna’s Starflower. She assures Eddison that she doesn’t actually require either, thanks to a very serious injury suffered when she was younger, and can’t currently afford to have magically restored. 
 
Eddison: Well, something to fix later. Wait, you’re human - not that much later. 
 
After everybody else crawls off to bed or their alchemical lab, Arram has some questions for Eddison - he was clearly using a golden flagon to add alchemical modifications to his magic. They also discuss what it’s like to be kicked out of wizard school vs. being a sorcerer who finished his education at one.
 
Eddison: I just wanted to have fun. Filling a dormitory with followers of Lymnieris (the empyreal lord of prostitution, rites of passage, and virginity) was probably the final straw.
 
Gonno OoC: Eddison isn’t one of Selversgard’s official troubleshooters yet
GM: When did you become official?
Gonno OoC: By ‘official’ I mean ‘default’.
 
Skave wakes up with a head that feels like it’s three feet across and full of sawdust. This is probably a good time to remember some of Cayden Cailean’s divine advice - ‘Things that seem like great ideas when you’re drunk do not always still seem like great ideas the next morning’, and ‘the importance of moderation’.
 
Eddison: “Dude, you became a god after you went on a bender so extreme you DON'T REMEMBER how you became a god.”
 
It’s debatable that anybody would trust a lycanthropy cure Skave brews under normal conditions, let alone one he brews when he has a hangover like this. Of course we don’t need to brew one for the Hellknight, since he’s dead.
 
Miya: We cured him, technically.
 
But there’s still the possibility that Mikki is infected, and it’s unlikely she'll appreciate one treatment plan Arram and Skave come up with - kill her and resurrect her. For one thing neither of them can cast Resurrection.
 
Gonno OoC: I know you can work miracles with your hangover cures, but there are limits.
 
Of course, as an Outsider Gonno is immune to Lycanthropy, so putting him at the front of whatever troubleshooting is required sounds like a good idea. Silas of the Green comes to meet Skave, with a goodberry for the hangover and the obsidian chip in a protective glass case. He wants the alchemist's opinion, and Skave invites him into the lab.
 
Silas: Will it be safe?
Skave: Statistically, no.
 
The chip is imbued with magic that is based on the principles of similarity - the victim is infected with the essence of another werewolf. This is very bad news for Mikki, if the other werewolf is a natural werewolf. They probably ARE going to need an anti-lycanthropy potion. And given how incredibly poisonous Aconite is, probably cast Bear’s Endurance and other Fortitude buffs on Mikki first. She grabs the flask and sculls it.
 
Gonno: Are you SURE you’re not a follower of Cayden Cailean?
Eddison: I think she’s making a definitive statement of ‘Better Dead Than Furry’.
 
The side effects are unpleasant, We’ll probably have to wait an hour to see if they’re fatal. And a few more days to see if it even worked.
 
Arram: It’s a tad grim…but I’ve got a couple of heavy steel tables with manacles at the back of my house.
 
Alternatively, find the other werewolf and sever the connection there.
 
Arram: I assume in the traditional manner?
Silas: If you mean decapitation, yes.
 
Silas’ druid circle might consider werewolves an abomination, but that doesn’t mean they all do.
 
Arram: Organised religion doesn’t have the monopoly on schisms.
 
At least we have the obsidian chip to use as a divination aid for locating the werewolves and druids involved. Pity they didn’t wait until the Hellknights had finished off that last chain devil. If it was the Sons of Ash druid circle they need to be sent a message - “don’t mess with Selversgard”.
 
Eddison: Well, I wish you all well with that… why are you looking at me like that.
Mikki: Oh god i want to die.
Eddison: Well apparently these guys want me to as well.
Roger, The Blue Dragon’s Owner: Well the way I see it you have two choices - you can go with them and help or you can stay here and wipe Mikki’s A** every time she makes a mess.
Eddison: …. …. I’m thinking about it.
 
At least the elf has a Go-Bag for emergencies like this. Gonno’s extraplanar ancestry apparently makes him immune to hangovers, which saves some time too. Moving at speed we can reach the ford where the Hellknight was attacked within 4 hours. Although the weather isn’t the best.
 
Arram: I’ve been under the effect of Endure Elements for the last seven years.
Eddison: And I’m an aquatic elf
Skave: And I’m a half-drowned rat.
 
Arram: The necklace can detect Wet Dog in this direction. 
 
The Werewolf-detector 3000 leads us to a cottage in the wilderness.
 
Arram: We’ve found grandma’s house and thankfully we bought a lumberjack.
 
Gonno goes to knock on the door and falls into a spike pit. With poisoned spikes.
 
Gonno: … ow.
Arram: You alright down there, Gonno?
Gonno: Not entirely.
 
And then Miya gets shot by somebody who’s stuck their head up through the thatch. Arram retaliates with Burning Hands.
 
GM: There’s a good chance that will set the thatch on fire.
Arram: One problem at a time. She DID just launch an unprovoked attack on us when we’re hunting a werewolf.
 
At least it’s wet thatch, or was, before the Burning Hands. Miya, Skave and Gonno crowd up against the wall so they don’t get sniped. Gonno attempts to kick the door in without falling into the pit again. Skave finds a hidden door, which is promising. 
 
And then the chain devil turns up, which is not. At least she’s smiling at us from where she’s sitting on the fence, as her chains destroy the rest of the door. That MIGHT be a positive sign?
 
https://pathfinder.fandom.com/wiki/Kyton?file=Kyton.jpg
 
Eddison: Hiiiiii?
 
The woman that was sniping at us is downing a potion, and growing a muzzle and fur. So we have a werewolf on one side and a cenobite on the other.
 
Gonno: I think I was better off down the pit.
 
The Kyton raises its hands.
 
Kyton: I am not planning on being a threat to you. You should probably deal with that werewolf first - and then we can reason together.
Skaven: Oh great, a deal with a demon.
Arram: Devil.
Kyton: It’s complicated.
 
At least the werewolf goes down after a few rounds of mauling Gonno with a silver scimitar, kukri, and non-silver teeth. The Kyton still wants to parley.
 
Kyton: And you had some association with the Hellknights?
Arram: … Allies, of a sort.
Kyton: I hope you don’t share their desire to execute me?
Arram: To be completely honest we only found out there was one of you left last night, and if this werewolf thing hadn’t come up we probably would have organised a hunting party.
Kyton: That’s unfortunate.
 
The Kyton assures us that it has no interest in whatever town we’re from, and will limit its attention to the countryside where it can continue its fun vacation to the Material Plane. It even offers to pay rent, but Eddison hurriedly points out that any deal with devils is never going to end well. Arram suggests that if it DOES limit itself to the countryside we won’t tell the Hellknights we saw her. Gonno strongly suggests she head towards the Cinderlands - if she’s going to go around mutilating people then please let it be the marauding Orc tribes. 
 
Arram: No offense but I hope we never see each other again.
Kyton: Oh, a handsome mortal like you? I would have quite enjoyed seeing a lot more of you.
Eddison: THAT’S HOW YOU GET TIEFLINGS
Gonno: That’s how you get SHACKLEBORN tieflings
Miya: Ugh.
Kyton: I’ve borne three myself.
 
Eddison suggests she head north by northeast - that’ll take her to the Worldwound, where a rift to the Abyss has been pouring out an endless tide of demons for years. Demons and devils do not get on, and the area is swarming with paladins as well, but it’s not like Eddison was going to tell the Chain Devil THAT.
 
We check the obsidian chip in case there’s still another werewolf around - it swings wildly on its chain, which is worrying - until we realise it’s the chain devil controlling it.
 
Kyton: I couldn’t resist.
All: 😠
Kyton: She was the only werewolf around here. Quite the dominant force. I’ve been watching.
 
The Kyton strolls off. We are not sorry to see her go. We just hope she keeps her word. 
 

Regardless of how the next few minutes play out, the rebellion in Kintargo is going to have to wildly revise their threat estimate of Lord-Mayor Barzillai Thrune. The trap he laid would have devastated us, even if we hadn’t shown up. But it’s equally shocking how many resources he must have expended setting this up. 
 
Consider - in the Red Corner : Dozens of heavily armed Dotarri, Half a dozen Bearded Devils, a huge Bone Devil, an Erinyes, and a Contract Devil. Each of the devils has been concealed with expensive glamours and magical items until it was time to slaughter everybody in the building.
 
In the Blue Corner - Four artists and intellectuals and a few of their friends.
 
The Ghosts of Kintargo are not people suited to mass combat. In fact, our only member suited for face-to-face combat is Rajira’s cousin Mahat, who no doubt we’ll find sitting on a pile of dead Dotarri outside, later. Rajira is pretty deft with a kukri, true, but she got most of her skill at interpersonal violence while training for the Opera.
 
At least the Contract Devil is dead, if that was indeed Cizmerkis disguised as Thrune on the stage. And the Dotarri are clearly dismayed by the apparent death of their Lord-Mayor. But we're still seriously outnumbered, some of us are already badly wounded, and the assorted Devils have clearly identified us as People That Need To Die. Unfortunately the really big Azata is really a really big Bone Devil. They can turn invisible. And Fly. As Civilla, still up in the chandelier, will shortly learn to her cost. The Azata that was already flying is actually an Erinyes, and a horribly efficient sniper. And Rajira is having really, really bad luck avoiding the Bearded Devils. And one of the latter is paying attention to Terzo again. 
 
Then Civilla drops a Chthonic Ankylosaur onto the stage.
 
Civilla: If I kept the Xill around there was a real chance somebody would get implanted with more Xill.
Ayva: The opera about these events is going to be hilarious.
 
Happily, if Terzo dashes to the front of the orchestra pit then most of the party (and the Ankylosaur) can be buffed with the spell Good Hope. Another aria arises from the chaos.
 
Ayva: I can’t WAIT to see this opera.
 
Some of our other allies - Captain Cassius Sargaeta of the Chellish Navy, his boyfriend Marquel Aulorian, and the faerie dragon Vendalfek - keep working on getting the civilians out of the building alive, without too many of them being trampled to death.
 
Up on the balcony the Painted Nox and original continue to mutually annihilate - happily our fake is smart enough to stick as close as possible to Thrune’s bodyguard, to prevent her using her own evil glaive to best effect. And the original Nox has a Baleful Gaze attack now, after tearing a pair of blinders from her eyes in a brutal display. 
 
Although that affects her own allies as well, and the Painted Nox is immune. And for that matter everybody is too busy to even notice her trying to catch their gaze. At least Shimza can do ranged healing in the form of Scorching Rays and Flaming Spheres that make people feel better (with the added bonus that the Bearded Devils pause their attacks on people that are apparently already on fire). And Civilla and Shimza can Dimension Slide to somewhere safer than the chandelier and hide in an Invisibility Sphere. And the Dire Corby we’ve been having trained by a barbarian is finally able to help in combat. She might not be optimised for Face-to-Face Combat but she’s very very good at Beak-to-Spine.
 
Ayva: Our Lady of Squawking Death.
 
Although she hasn’t actually dismembered anything but training dummies lately. We’ve been trying to teach her to use her rage constructively.
 
Ayva in Flashback: ‘No no, you don’t cut them in half, because that’s murder. And murder is…?’ ‘... and Murder is wrong’
Rajira in Flashback: No, murder is crows.
 
Still, the Bearded Devil that Chough lands behind is definitely going to be murdered, after she grabs each side of his head and tears him in half down the middle.
 
Chough: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
 
Upstairs, our Painted Nox prevents the original from using the gaze attack again. Or gazing at anything ever again, by slicing her shiny magical glaive through both Nox’s eyes. If that WAS Cizmerkis the Xill killed, then the original Nox might just have been released from her contract, and is free to flee. Not that she can see to flee. Further, since it was Civilla’s Xill that landed the killing blow, she might be able to claim Nox’s contract by Right of Conquest. 
 
Terzo OoC: You MIGHT want to consult a lawyer on that idea first.
 
It probably won’t matter anyway - Civilla shadow-conjures a Holy Javelin and runs her through - Arcane Casters are ridiculously versatile. The original Nox staggers as holy light and clarions ravage her, and gets pushed out a window to a Disney Death. Where everybody can see that there are clearly two Noxs, and this one was some kind of abomination, and our one a blazing figure of goodness.
 
Rajira’s player: Oh god, we’re conflating two great songs - Blinded By The Light and Holy Diver.
 
The Bone Devil manages to critically injure itself (possibly it was blinded by the light of the Nox Kebab) but the Erinyes mages to mortally wound Terzo even as he’s trying to assist his friends with their own injuries. It can also see straight through the Invisibility Sphere. It’s just as well Shimza has an Amulet of Life’s Breath that Civilla made for her, to keep her going beyond any normal amount of injury.  
 
Civilla: We magic-users know exactly how squishy we are. 
 
At least the burrowing Ankylosaur continues to be effective. At the very least the nearly dead Ayva can hide behind it.
 
Civilla: I brought a siege engine to a knife fight.
 
Chough is certainly going through the opposition like a Ballista, too. She nearly kills a second Devil as it’s trying to Greater Teleport out of her way. And then the Ankylosaur becomes even more like a siege weapon, because Ayva casts Fly on it (and Rajira), from where she was hiding underneath. The Bone Devil and the Erinyes certainly weren’t expecting THAT. The concussed Erinyes crashes to earth just as the Euphoric Cloud obscuring half the room disperses. 
 
Rajira yells to Terzo get in behind the Erinyes while she attacks from the front, but this nearly backfires terribly as the Bone Devil casts Hemisphere of Ice first - or attempts to. It would seem it forgot about the Ankylosaur. You’d think a Flying Chthonic Ankylosaur would be difficult to forget. The devil gets thagomized in the face. At least if it suffers True Death at the dinosaur's tailclub it won’t have to explain to anybody what happened. That would just be embarrassing.
 
Painted Nox does a Superhero Landing from the balcony (Constructs with Regeneration don’t have to worry about broken ankles) and contributes to the flanking on the Erinyes. Rajira Flies in to the attack. Chough leaps clear across the orchestra pit to contribute some properly directed violence. Ayva adds Mydriatic Spontaneity, to keep the devil’s pupils constantly dilating and contracting and leaving it half-blind and nauseated. The dottari still intoxicated by the Euphoric Cloud watch all this with fascination, swaying slightly.
 

 
Ayva OoC: I can't wait until Civilla can summon Chthonic T. Rexes. 
Terzo OoC: We’ve all seen that episode of The Goodies.
 

Chronicles of Selversgard Pt.17 - In which the PCs continue to apply various adventurer-level skills to very local problems. 
 
8th of Erastus, a ferociously hot and unpleasantly humid day with thunderstorms looming. Even the swarms of insects are subdued by the heat. With the solstice past, the Mayorship has rotated to Skiri Olafsdottir, to the relief of some. One of her first duties was giving the Fishermens Guild’s new huge pinnace a try.
 
After the ogre attack, a moat is proposed as an addition to the town’s defenses - a dry moat outside the palisade. 
 
Arram: That’s not going to be a dry moat for long.
 
Which is one reason the ratfolk are annoyed - when it fills up with water it’ll increase flooding risk in the Warren. And the farmers that work outside the palisade are keenly aware that it doesn’t protect them. When pressed, Silas of the Green admits that a moat will help delimit the town. Arram instead suggests proper watchtowers and a better gate. 
 
Eddison has been selling a lot of drinks to people trying to escape the heat, when a tall and aristocratic elf with an entire entourage of elven servants enters, laden down with luggage.
 
Eddison: Welcome, welcome to the Drowned Carp, how may I be of service?
Tovura Angleterre: Unless I am very much mistaken, my good sir, you are the very person I’m looking for.
Eddison: *checks that his escape route is clear* Ah, how exactly?
Tovura Angleterre: I am seeking to complete the family tree.
 
Eddison is skeptical he can be of much help - the guy is clearly not of Aquatic Elf heritage, and Eddison was raised by Forlorn elves, but rents him three rooms and suggests he retire to the deck if he is having trouble with the heat.
 
Eddison: He seems remarkably well off for somebody related to Forlorn elves. He must be a distant cousin at best.
 
Of course half the town is already gossiping about it. Mikki is one of them, but it’s not like she’ll be doing any exotic dancing in this weather.
 
Mikki: I heard you had an interesting visitor.
Eddison: I’m still trying to figure out his angle.
Arram: Gossip - the only thing that travels faster than light.
 
Gonno, Galiante and the kids are enjoying a meal there - it’s too hot to cook at home. He’s looking after the kids and trying to ignore the hand gestures Mikki and Galiante are making as they converse about their current and previous careers. 
Arram: It’s always nice to get together when we’re not in life threatening danger.
 
The weather finally breaks with a massive crack of thunder and sudden torrential rain, to general acclaim.
 
Arram: We can literally see the humidity falling.
Miya: Once a teacher, always a teacher.
 
About 9PM Tovura staggers in, soaked to the bone. At least he’s smiling, as he wrings out his beret. Arram offers to magically wring him out, but the elf declines, clutches a symbol around his neck, and is instantly dry. Edison identifies the symbol as one of the lesser symbols of Nethys, the god of magic. Gonno, on the other hand, notes that his shirt is a button-up, and clearly looked after - but mis-buttoned. Exactly what Tovura been doing out in the rain for the last few hours? Spending some time at the Yellow House, perhaps?
 
The rain is getting even heavier, but the temperature has dropped to something tolerable. With all of Tovura’s servants downstairs eating, Eddison pops upstairs to check that all the shutters are closed properly. Hopefully the rain isn’t heavy enough to finally collapse the huge antediluvian dam at Skull’s Crossing.
 
Arram: Just as well we didn’t dig that moat.
Miya: Does anybody else hear an apocalyptic rumble?
Eddison: There’s a chance we’d feel the pressure wave coming. Wouldn’t help us survive, of course.
Arram: I don’t know Fly yet.
Miya: Just as an aside, exactly how watertight are those Ysoki tunnels? 
 
The rain and wind is now strong enough to drown out most of the conversation, when Arram hears something else.
 
ARRAM. HOUSE COLLAPSED. TRAPPED IN BASEMENT. WATER RISING.
 
Arram: Oh crap, that’s a Sending.  That’s Sennsa - nobody else in town has that in their spellbook.
 
We pile out of the Drowned Carp and wade through the storm to the half-ruined brothel. Gonno directs a few people to shore up the most dangerous parts of the wreckage, and dashes off to fetch proper timber from his stores. Arram and Eddison add some Glue and Web spells to further secure it. Mikki, tending to the wounded, says that Sennsa and Bertie, one of the boys of the house, were down in the basement fetching wine when it all came down. Eddison’s picked up enough engineering skill over the decades to realise that the collapsed section is the only thing still propping up the rest of the building. It would appear the combination of wind and rain did a number on some of the piles supporting the building - piles that it turns out are rotten through.
 
Tovura and his servants arrive - they apparently grabbed every shovel and pickaxe from the town stores. Miya bolts off to the Ysoki tunnels to fetch their help with rat-wrangling and digging - rats can explore the wreckage and remove small debris.
 
GM: A fox returns to the Yellow House followed by a literal horde of rats, some of which are Ysoki. 
 
Eddison keeps an eye on Tovura’s reaction - he doesn’t seem to LIKE rats, but he welcomes the help. Gonno’s rival carpenter is also at work, shoring up the building - Gonno gets directions on which section to do next. This is no time for rivalry. We find Bertie first - he’s trapped, but not seriously injured. Shivering though, which is hardly surprising given he was wearing a loincloth.
 
Tovura: My dear boy! *hurries the lad off to shelter*
 
Miya, still in fox form, dives into the basement as soon as we can access it, and gets her fox-senses immediately overwhelmed by the smell of spilt wine. She finds Sennsa - impaled by fallen timber, pinned to the ground, and in imminent danger of drowning. Miya yells for help, and Arram tries to wriggle down the tunnel - but it’s too tight for a full-sized human. Tovura offers a flask - Oil of Grease.
 
Eddison: Mikki! Mikki!
Mikki: What?
Eddison: We need to Grease you up!
Mikki: Normally I’d be all for that but I’m not sure it’s an appropriate time!
 
Arram Greases himself up, and has two Unseen Servants pull on his hands as Eddison pushes on his feet, and pops into the basement like a cork from a bottle. The greased sorcerer arrives when Miya has already chipped half the beam away with an Adamantine weapon. 
 
Miya: Oh hi. Little help?
Arram: Sure - Bull’s Strength.
 
Arram: Sorry, this is going to suck *heaves the weight off Sennsa and the impaling timber out of her body*
Sennsa: *screams and faints*
 
Magic stops the bleeding but there’s still the issue that some of her intestines are on the outside.
 
Eddison: One problem at a time!
 
Getting the stabilised madam out of the ruin out through the tunnel is a whole new problem - if Miya still wanted to conceal the fact that she’s a Kitsune, it’s going to be a bit difficult after this night’s work. Her fox form gets a lot of use, even before the water level is up to waist height. Reduce Person is required, too. At least the brothel had plenty of oil - lavender-scented, no less.
 
Eddison: Well Arram you’re going to get greased up again - unfortunately it’s going to be the old-fashioned way.
 
Roger at the Blue Dragon hands out free beer to the exhausted rescue workers. Most of the Yellow House’s staff can recover their belongings and work gear from the ruins the next day - unfortunately the wine collection is a complete loss.  We’ll have to inspect most of the other buildings in town to check them wood-rot too. But the biggest question is ‘do we rebuild the Yellow House’ -  there are plenty of people who never liked it. Tovura walks in, wearing another completely different outfit. 
 
Eddison: My god, he really is a peacock. 
 
Tovura: I have news from your Mother Maybell, I believe is her name. She tells me she is injured but will make a full recovery.
Eddison: Got all her guts back on the inside, then?
Tovura: I do have a few more questions about your parentage, Eddison, but I believe I saw most of what I needed to learn last night.
Eddison: Hmmm??? You’re going to have to be blunt, I am very tired.
 
Tovura is part of a very large and very widespread family - elven nobility no less, as well as being a follower of Nethys. He wasn’t even aware he had any Aquatic elf relatives. The fact that Eddison was raised by two generations of the Forlorn is not so surprising - there are quite a few generationally depressed elves on the family tree. But his search has been related to his symbol of Nethys - apparently there has been an Augury that something very bad is going to happen to Kyonin, the homeland of elves on Golarion.
 
Gonno’s player: I wouldn’t trust an Augury, what with prophecy broken after the death of the god Aroden - if it wasn’t a prophecy that came via Nethys. He cheats - he looks into parallel universes where everything happened a few minutes earlier. 
 
Eddison: I am no adventurer.
Tovura: I know. You’re a barkeep.
Eddison: … ExCUSe mE? BarKEep?? BARKEEP? I am no tavern-owner, I am a CHEF!
Tovura: My apologies - you're a chef.
 
Tovura retires to rest, after getting a very tentative offer of future help if Eddison can’t possibly avoid it. He’ll have to send a lot of letters to people first. 
 
Eddison: We’re elves, we don’t make decisions quickly.
 
Eddison is more concerned that Mikki has apparently been snorting the Mwangian Marching Powder to keep herself going all night. 
 
The next Council meeting has to take place at the Fishermans Guildhall above the Fisherman’s Arms, because the roof of the town hall is leaking like a sieve. The only item of business is The Situation. Some of the council think the disaster is a good reason to replace the Yellow House with a more aesthetically pleasing building - a converted warehouse may have been all Sennsa could afford, originally, but it was still a bit of an embarrassment. They even propose an interest-free loan to help them rebuild.
 
Miya: Very community minded.
GM: The Council is actually fairly flush with cash. It just has a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of spending money.
 
They also support the idea of planting a small orchard of fruit trees on the site - it’s been waste ground for too long, even before other businesses started avoiding proximity to the brothel. The Council eventually agree to poll the townsfolk as to which kinds of fruit tree would be preferred - it saves them the trouble of arguing the benefits of apples vs. damsons, for example. They also think somebody should be appointed Building Inspector, so we don’t get a repeat. Probably Gelbert.
 
Gelbert: I’m pretty good at engineering myself - Dad taught me everything I know. 
Arram: Will you need any help? Gonno has worked with wood longer than most of the people here have been alive.
Skiri Olafdottir: Gonno, would you be able to help with the timber inspection?
Gonno: *blinks surprised, looks thoughtful, smiles and shrugs*
Gelbert: I think that’s a yes.
Miya: Gonno is a man of many talents and few words.
 
Hopefully they can get the town hall reroofed promptly, as well.
 
Skiri Olafsdottir: I would rather have our next meeting in a place that doesn’t smell of salmon.
Arram: Well, I have that meeting room at Tolland Manor that i'm not using for anything else - Wait, aren’t you the representative from the Fisherman’s Guild?
Skiri: I make the boats, not catch the fish.
 
Gonno does find a building that’s in danger of collapsing and needs immediate rebuilding. His own. Embarrassing. Although, it is one of the oldest buildings in town, and adding the second story has exacerbated some problems.
 
Eddison attracts some complaints for providing accommodation for some of the prostitutes, although his reaction takes the wind out of the bluenoses’ sails.
 
Eddison: Yes, and?
 
And over the next few months we discover that Miya is pregnant again - she’ll definitely have to retire from adventuring now. It’s also surprising just how fecund Selversgard’s interspecies relationships are proving to be. Between the kitsune and her sawmill-owner human husband, and the oread and his tiefling wife, the town is certainly giving the middle finger to genetic incompatibility.
 
Gonno ooC: "how is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?"
Miya: Apparently marry someone who is good with their logs. Or be Gonno.
Eddison: Yeah, he knows how to get his rocks off.
 

Onto the fourth book of the Hell's Rebels adventure path : While the Great and Good of Kintargo were about to be the stars of the Ruby Massacre, the bulk of Thrune’s forces were launching raids on the rest of the city. The entire city is on lockdown - every district with the exception of Old Kintargo has a heavy boot on its neck. Fortunately one of our safehouses is close enough for us to reach from the Opera House. And if the rebellion can hold Old Kintargo and keep money coming in, we can hold it indefinitely. 
 
Of course Thrune has put out his own version of events - he denies he was ever at the Opera House. And there might be some questions circulating regarding our version of Nox, if the real Nox was hauled out onto the stage on the night of the Masquerade. That, however, is easily dealt with.
 
Rebellion Rumourmongers: Really. The ‘real’ Nox. After Thrune had a small army of disguised fiends in the audience. AND a body double because he’s too much of a coward to show up in person. And we’re supposed to believe that was the ‘real’ Nox.
 
It’s hardly the best time to be bringing a child into the world, but Civilla’s friend Shimza is expecting. 
 
Ayva: Congratulations! Who’s the father?
Civilla: That would be me.
All: …
Ayva: I have questions.
Civilla: So do I - such as ‘What is a second generation Changeling going to be like?’
 
Thrune has released three new Proclamations onto the city. And a dragon. 
 
Ayva: I’m sorry, let’s focus on that one, shall we, because I couldn’t give a flying f*** about the proclamations.
 
Rivozair is a blue dragon who has menaced the Chelish city of Kintargo off and on for decades. She is most famous for losing the last battle against the city's Silver Ravens before House Thrune reclaimed the city in 4640 AR. in fact everybody was pretty sure she was dead.
 
Civilla suggests we find out whatever the dragon wants most, and bribe her loyalty away from Thrune. It’s a known problem when you try and use a weapon that’s also superintelligent. Unfortunately Thrune has also thought of that and had Rivozair devil-bound. That confirms the rumour that a blue dragon with a pentagram carved into its chest was seen on the roof of the Opera House.
 
Rajira: So we just have to remove her flight capabilities and kill her.
Ayva: I don’t think I have a net big enough.
 
Proclamation the Eleventh—Bleakbridge Closure:
“With the uprise in rebel activity, it pains my heart to issue the closure of Bleakbridge to all but official traffic, yet such steps are necessary to ensure your protection! The Silver Ravens must not be allowed free access across the Yolubilis, and until you aid in their defeat, Bleakbridge shall remain closed and under guard.” 

Proclamation the Twelfth—Public Religion: 
“Public worship of any deity other than Lord Asmodeus, Savior of Cheliax, Master of Humanity, is hereby forbidden. All works of art and artifice bearing the likenesses or symbols of the lesser faiths must be turned over to the dottari. Worship of Zon-Kuthon, Abadar, and Shelyn may continue only within the walls of their respective temples. Noncompliance shall be met with the strictest of correctional steps.” 

Proclamation the Thirteenth—Outlawing of the Silver Ravens: 
“The destructive and ruinous anarchists known as the Silver Ravens are hereby proscribed, and until their leaders surrender or are captured, all Silver Raven sympathizers must disavow support of this extremist group, lest they be faced with fines, imprisonment, and excruciation!”
 
Of course the Wanted Posters are mostly blank, since he has no idea who has actually been causing him all these problems - for that matter we’re the Ghosts of Kintargo not the Silver Ravens - and even if they try to ID us from our costumes at the Masquerade they’re not going to get anywhere since most of the costumes were magical creations anyway. At least we have options. Such as ensuring any blackshirts or Dottari that come into Old Kintargo don’t get out alive. Retaking the Bleakbridge would also prove a point, although Thrune does have air superiority in the form of that bloody dragon. 
 
Ayva’s player: At least we didn’t kill the main bad guy in the first week - we’ve done that before.
Civilla’s player: True.
Terzo’s player: At least Barzillai Thrune is a competent villain.
Civilla’s player: That’s a low bar. It’s such a low bar that it’s a tripping hazard in Hell. 
 
Every day Thrune sends out his troops and minions to terrorise the citizenry. If we’re going to defang him we’d better retake the rest of the city as quickly as possible, before he can organise additional reprisals. There’s only so many people in Kintargo and we can’t afford to lose many. 
 
Molly Mayapple, one of our contacts on Vyre Island, arrived in Kintargo on the night of the Masquerade, and was on her way to find us when one of Thrune’s Erinyes identified her as someone sufficiently Good to be a target. It’s fortunate for the 81-year-old halfling that she’s absolutely lethal with her hand crossbow. 
 
The ‘rebel sympathizers’ that get doghoused the next day are less fortunate, although we managed to get a warning to half of them before the Dottari kicked their doors in. And the day after that the barricades around Old Kintargo get stormed. The militia get kicked back, but there are still casualties. Worse, the blue dragon torches a building full of suspected sympathizers. On the other hand, we completely thwart one of Thrune’s attempted reprisals. He responds by keeping more blackshirts out on the streets, not that it matters to us because half his blackshirts are secretly on our side.
 
And that respite gives us time to get Shensen de-petrified. She’s certainly a welcome face at the next meeting of the Ghosts of Kintargo. She’s brought along a friend - Chuko 'Sharp Beak and Hooks' a tengu who runs a weapon shop for adventurers. The Rose of Kintargo, actual professional rebel and cultist of Milani, was supposed to be at the meeting, but never arrived. Worrying. Also worrying is the news Molly Mayapple brought us - Thrune has hired the Skinsaw Cult, murderously insane one and all, to keep people off the streets. 
 
There’s also some surprise reveals that wouldn’t be out of place in one of Kintargo’s more histrionic operas - three of the real Silver Ravens are still alive. Jackdaw is a prisoner of Thrune. The other two are Shensen and Jilia Bainilus.
 
Terzo: THe F***?!?!?!
 
But now that the rebellion has gone overt, we suddenly have a whole bunch of new problems requiring our immediate attention. This includes Shensen’s urgent request that we secure the Opera House. Because there’s a ritual the Silver Ravens invented - a Song of Silver that infuses potent magical effects into both the city and the Silver Ravens themselves. The sheet music and material ritual components for the spell are contained within the opera house, within a vault that even Barzillai could not penetrate. However, to stop the House of Thrune from gaining control over the spell when Kintargo finally fell to Chelaxian forces, all members bar Jackdaw had the lyrics of the song, a key component of the spell, magically wiped from their minds before going underground. The other Silver Ravens assumed Jackdaw had died in 4640AR, but Jilia and Shensen's discovery of Jackdaw's survival gave them short-lived hope - which Barzillai crushed with vampirism and petrification, respectively.
 
And, of course, we should find out what happened to Hetamon Haace, the Rose of Kintargo. Some tactical advice from a devotee of the Goddess of Rebellion wouldn’t go astray right now.
 
At least we know there’s a back entrance to the Kintargo Records Hall where his inquisitors toil to rewrite Kintargo’s history, and where many important public records have presumably been hidden - we might finally figure out why Thrune has gone to this incredible amount of effort to control what is honestly a not very important city on the edge of the Chellish empire.
 
And of course there’s the Skinsaw Cult. And rescuing Jackdaw from beneath Kintargo Keep. And the Bleakbridge Blockade. At least we have an ‘in’ there - Chuko’s younger brother Ravzee and Ravzee’s gang, the River Talons have been hired by the soldiers there as enforcers. They should be much easier to turn to our side than Rivozair the Blue Dragon.
 
Speaking of whom, we have a potential way to deny Thrune air superiority - have Civilla summon an Air Elemental or a Couatl to keep the dragon constantly engaged in dogfights over the city - the more time Rivozair wastes on that, the fewer buildings (and their occupants) are going to be burned to the ground. We can probably afford to summon either, although Couatls tend to be cheaper since they’re Good-aligned and less likely to charge a ‘help help help save us from this dragon’ premium.
 
Terzo: And since we have actual Silver Ravens here, we can ask them how they beat her last time. 
Civilla: Probably because they had all the Silver Ravens. It’s not that difficult to defeat a dragon, if you can get enough destructive potential in one spot.
 

Eddison has built his new riverside eatery ‘The Drowned Carp’, incorporating enough living timber into the building to assuage the local druids. 
 
Eddison: I’ll have this paid off in about 1 and a half years.
Gonno OoC: Or we can just go mug an adventurer.
 
Other construction around town includes greenhouses to provide fresh greens out of season, and a second story on Gonno’s cottage. Of course, as a master carpenter he prefabricated everything he’d need and assembled most of it during a spell of nice weather. His rival, no doubt sick with jealousy every time he looks out his window, is unlikely to be that well-prepared. Especially since the winter, when it comes, is a harsh one.
 
Nobody goes outside if they can help it, which makes the alarm bell at the town gate quite a surprise for everybody.
 
Skave: I’m going to go stop whatever is making that noise - I have sensitive ears you know.
 
The bell is still swinging when we get to the gate, but there's nobody on the palisade. And there’s screaming coming from the nearest house. A misshapen and hideous humanoid with an overly large arm and halberd is trying to cart off one of Arram’s students. That one we curbstomp promptly, but the one in the next room has a crossbow. The bolt lodges in the wall, but only after it’s gone right through Gonno’s chest and out the other side. And there are two further Ogrekin in the building. The man of the house has been comprehensively butchered - the woman of the house is not that lucky. At least these monsters are stupid enough to be staying in town long enough to attempt that rather than immediately retreating with their captives. Hopefully we can exterminate them all promptly. Arram incinerates two of them.
 
Skave: Young, Dumb, and Full of Mutations.
 
Gonno uses some of his growing monk powers (that he does not, in fact, realise he has) to race around the building to the back door - and discovers there’s a two-story tall ogre outside Selversgard’s gate. Gonno might not be the most loquatious of people, but happily this can be summed up with two sylables.
 
Gonno: GIANT!!!!
 
The remaining Ogrekin is annoyed that it can’t escape with the little girl it has seized, and runs Gonno through the chest AGAIN. Skave throws him a healing potion and Gonno knees the Ogrekin in the fork.
 
Luckily for us, the really big ogre is heading away from the village. Miya and Arram deal with it, while Skave and Gonno whittle the Ogrekin down to Dead. Unfortunately the Istven brothers in the next building are dead, and their wives are missing.
 
Miya: Where the hell are the militia?
 
The militia on the palisade are probably dead, given the amount of blood dripping down the wall. The missing heads are certainly a factor in that conclusion. We inform the next lot of villagers what’s happened and head off in pursuit of the orgekin’s raiding party. Hopefully Kragor and the rest of the militia can deal with any other monsters still lingering around town. Miya transforms into her fox form and scouts ahead of us - the giant ogre has shrunk back to normal ogre size. Further on, the ogre camp is disgustingly slovenly - at least they’re theoretically easy to follow in the snow. But it appears they had improvised a bridge across a ravine and destroyed it as they retreated. The raging winter torrent is going to be a problem too. Arram improvises a bridge using Web and random debris. 
 
The ogres seem to have gathered on top of a hill, following a spiral path up to a grotto. Their captives are alive, but one of the ogrekin is dead and hanging mutilated from chains. Gonno has some alarming thoughts about that Kyton we sent off into the Cinderlands. The Ogre priest (no doubt the same one that Enlarged the orge earlier) is sitting bloody-handed on a rough-hewn throne. Skave provides a Blur potion for the party’s melee specialist (if Gonno was a spell caster his favorite spell would be Fist) and the rest of the party provide ranged support. Happily, Arram Blinds the priest and another with his first spell. That’s good news for Gonno, who otherwise might have to run forward into combat with four ogres, one of them a magic-user. 
 
The priest uses his own throne as cover and starts casting spells on himself, and the third fumbles blindly for a potion, as the fourth Ogre nearly impales Gonno AGAIN.  It then attacks in person, and gets Arram To The Face. Gonno doesn’t even need to counterattack as it’s reduced to a flaming skeleton. 
 
Skave(OOC): I love the sound of someone rolling 8d4.
Arram(OOC): *9*d4. 
 
The one fumbling for a potion takes a deep swig and keels over dead, since it grabbed the flask of Poison instead of Cure Moderate Wounds. We converge on the priest, while Skave continues to snipe from well back. 
 
Miya OoC: PLEASE DON’T CRIT FAIL. Shooting your friends in the back is only funny in anime and slapstick cartoons.

The priest had been casting Divine Favour, and nearly cuts Gonno in half with a great sword. Our own attacks are much less efficient. At least they add up to enough to finish it off, eventually.
 
GM: One of these days you’ll do some real damage. One of these days you’ll be a Real Boy!
 
It would appear the priest HAD given orders that the ogres were to grab captives and immediately return - the mutilated ogre is one that wasted time amusing himself with a captive militiawoman. She is in a bad way, and will require a lot of counseling once we get her back to town. At least that ogre, and the others, won’t be harming anybody else again. And our immediate pursuit of the monsters means we got all the captives home alive. 
 
The next incident that will require our intervention won’t be until the height of summer, in the month of Erastus. Quite an important month around Selversgard, given how many worshippers of the Elk Father live in the area. But until then there are only minor personal issues to worry about - the oddest of which is one of Eddison’s cousins apparently trying to track him down. At least Gonno should be more effective in combat the next time he has to be - a Monk of Irori that was passing through town to inspect Miya's dojo heard about some of the excitement, watched Gonno sanding and planing timber, and talked him into trading his padded armour for some old monk robes. This, apparently, was the height of comedy, but the monk didn't explain the joke.
 

It's certainly been a very eventful evening at the Kintargo Opera House, what with Lord-Mayor Barzillai Thrune's attempt to murder hundreds of civilians and blame the Ghosts of Kintargo. To our profound relief, we've actually managed to kill most of the devils he was going to use, and the civilians trying to flee can all turn around and watch as we finish off the ones we now outnumber. Although it's probably just as well we're all still in our Masquerade costumes - we don't want to make it TOO easy for the authorities to hunt us down when they inevitably retaliate.
 
The Bone Devil dives to the relative safety of the floor, despite the fact it’s crawling with highly motivated adventurers - and cops Ankylosaur To The Face AGAIN as the dinosaur cosplays as Anguirus. Ayva makes a mental note for the future opera’s stage directions, to suitably represent a Bone Devil’s head getting exploded like a watermelon and its remains crashing into the orchestra pit. For that matter the small part of Terzo’s brain that wasn’t preoccupied by terror and the fact he nearly just died in the last five minutes is certainly complaining that the opera about the rebellion needs some original arias, not whatever old ones he came up with on the fly. Obviously, the opera will have to have Nox as the main character. An entire (completely fictional) redemption arc, invented scenes between her and Thrune, and dramatic reveals. Plus half of it is already set at the opera house.
 
Terzo: I imagine the authorities in Cheliax will be rather confused as they study the libretto. I look forward to it being banned - Just means more sales elsewhere. Might need to consult a cleric of Sarenrae to make the character redemption believable.
 
Painted Nox finishes off the intoxicated Dotarri.
 
Dotarri: Is that Nox? She looks …. Attractive?
Painted Nox: *poleaxe*
Dotarri: ****!
 
Rajira slashes up the already dazed, prone and bleeding Erinyes, and adds a few more Status Effects to give her a Very Bad Day. Chough ensures it’s the devil’s last day by tearing her open like a cheap dog toy and wearing her lungs as a hat. 
 
Looking around we discover to our surprise that we’re all still alive, albeit rather battered. Ayva is in the odd position of wanting to hug the ball of fire, but then Shimza’s healing flames are rather odd. At least that, and the flying ankylosaur, will ensure some rumours that the Ghosts of Kintargo have a dragon on their side. It’s true, too, although Vendelfek is hardly as deadly as the rapidly spinning Ornithischian.
 
We have Painted Nox carry ‘Thrune’s’ body to the Opera House doors, after Terzo hurriedly feeds her speech based on the final scene of The Red Tyrant. He’ll have to rewrite that for his eventual opera about recent events in Kintargo - he doesn’t want to be accused of plagiarism.
 
Rajira uses the window we threw the real Nox through to sing her aria from Huntress of Heroes, a piece she was due to perform prior to Thrune closing the opera house (and, additionally, petrified Shensen, star of Kintargo opera). Her roll comes out to 41. It’s quite possibly the most sublime performance the Opera House has ever seen. Everybody within earshot, probably including some of the Dotarri, are now dedicated to the rebellion. As news spreads, we’ll have well over 10% of Kintargo on our side.
 
Civilla’s inhumanly sneaky homunculus Luster explores the Opera House basement while Ayva hurries off to deal with the petrified Shensen while all this is going on - the rest of us can fly off on the Ankylosaur if we have to, although that might be rather conspicuous. Luster finds a vault, and a very creepy coffin.  If we move the coffin and Shensen to the bottom of the pond in Aria Park using the grotto connecting the two, we can have one of our teams move them to one of our safehouses later. If that coffin DOES contain the vampire we speculated was feeding on Thrune, there’s quite a few precautions we’ll need to take, but we do have some options to turn it human again regardless.
 
Painted Nox returns with Thrune’s body. 
 
Painted Nox: It’s a fake.
Civilla: … it’s Cizmerkis, isn’t it.
Avya: What, really?
Terzo: I’m sorry, who’s Cizmerkis?
Civilla: …Ah… er… I’ll explain later. Business Associate.
 
There are certainly some aspects of the contract that Civilla will have to consider, if Cizmerkis actually suffered True Death. Another thing she might want to consult an actual lawyer about - preferably one of the Inevitables, immortal creatures of pure Law. If Cizmerkis was Summoned as a Greater Planar Ally and Polymorphed for this entire trap, then he’s stuck as a corpse until the spells wear off.
 
Avya: Shimza saved our lives today. Cure Moderate Wounds would not have cut it.
Civilla: I’ll say. “Where’s your healer?’ ‘Up in the rafters’ “Oh dear’ ‘Directing the Flaming Ball of Healing’ ‘ I'm sorry, what?”.
 
We’ve also earned enough XP from this evening to level up TWICE.
 
Once we get that casket somewhere safe, we unseal it - after Civilla casts Daylight. Inside is a very surprised Jilia Bainilus, and she is, indeed, a vampire. So that’s what happened to the missing former Mayor.
 
Civilla: *holds up a Elixir of True Resurrection* I have a cure.
 
Jilia seems very much in favour of that even as her new vampire abilities try to Dominate us. We seal her up again, move her out into the sunlight, open it up to burn her to dust, and pour on the potion. The restored Mayor is understandably rather annoyed with Thrune and his allies. She’s not the only one - hundreds of the most influential people in Kintargo now want Thrune’s head on a spike.
 
Rajira: They probably wanted his head on a spike already, just on general principles. Now they REALLY want it.
 

Pathfinder : Chronicles  of Selversgard pt.16
 
In which the party encounter their most vicious opponent yet - small town politics
 
We never actually confirm WHY that werewolf woman in the isolated cottage was involved in giving that Hellknight unwanted body-hair. Maybe she was lonely. But the involvement of that Kyton was enough reason for us to get home as fast as possible and barricade the doors. But the next six months are uneventful, at least in terms of artistic dismemberment.
 
Eddison enjoys the peace and quiet. Arram, on the other hand, needs to make some marriage arrangements in a hurry. Apparently the apothecary was out of prophylactic tea - but then, given the epidemic that ran through the Ysoki warren, Skave was probably busy with that. Too late to save one of his infant children, alas. The new sewer system the Ysoki have installed under Selversgard should have helped to prevent a more severe outbreak, at least.
 
Galiante has arranged a two-week get-away at Shev’s hunting lodge way outside Selversgard, mostly as a break from their own kids.
 
On the other hand, yet more tunnels have been discovered under the town. They’re flooded, which is unsurprising given the local water table, but you do have to wonder exactly how much is buried under the town. Eddison hopes nobody remembers he’s an aquatic elf. The next council meeting discusses the issue, among more mundane matters. As usual, the current mayor hasn’t actually bothered to show up, but his second is up to the task. Some of the issues have been brought up at every meeting for the last five years, but that wouldn’t surprise anybody who has ever been on a committee.
 
Eddison, Miya and Arram are actually in attendance when Halvari Ajeri, the representative of the Fishermens Guild, keels over dead.  Nobody seems to be leaving the room surreptitiously. Admittedly he wasn’t a young man, but Miya notes that one of the late councilmember’s eyes has a wildly blown-out pupil. Mother Maybell diagnoses a stroke.
 
Mother Maybell: What can I say? It was his time - he’s with the Goddess now.
Miya: I take it the meeting is adjourned?
 
They fetch some linen, and Eddison transports the body on a Floating Disc. At least the funeral will be tomorrow.
 
Eddison: So we don't have to put him in the river to keep.
 
Eddison takes the opportunity to talk to the head of the Militia, who’s been pushing for an expanded militia for years. Eddison sympathises - he wants to expand the entire town. 
 
Eddison: Why not establish a Town Guard? Only a few people, but that’ll be a separate budget item!
 
Plus there’s a vacancy on the council now. There’s going to have to be an election. Of course, only current members of the council can actually approve new members. No wonder nothing significant has changed in Selversgard for the last few decades.
 
Eddison: Speaking as an elf, this is a recipe for stagnation.
 
The Council can be divided more or less into two factions, traditionalists and progressives. Gelvert  (usually represented by his son Gelbert), the late Helvari Ajeri, and Killane Shellsdotter are solidly traditionalist and see little advantage in changing a winning formula. Blake and Kregor both want to see more manufacturing and artificing come to Selversgard, enabling the sale of more finished goods and not just raw lumber, and they have the support of Vandruber and the Eastlake Company. Kregor also wants to upgrade his men's kit - get proper longbows and better armour, maybe even some of those newfangled gunpowder weapons, but he never gets the budget. Knobroc, when present, tends to side with them, but he was elected to counter the Fishermen’s Guild. Silas of the Green has surprised a few people by supporting some of the progressive proposals, though never when it comes to the possibility of expanding the town.
 
Helvari’s son Aldo naturally assumes he’ll inherit the position as guildmaster and councilmember. He’s a good man in an emergency, but when given the luxury of time tends to agree with whoever talked to him last. But Skiri Olafsdottir, head of Olaf and Family Boatwrights, also put her hand up, and has significant support. She’s certainly more determined than Aldo.
 
Miya: Willing to compromise, but would prefer not to.
 
Miya’s husband Falx is not on the council already, and this situation has him quite excited. And the Ysoki warren approaches Shev and Skave - they want representation on the council too.
 
Shev: Once I stop laughing I’m going to introduce you to our cousin the healer, because there’s clearly something wrong with you.
Ysoki: But you’ve dealt with the council before?
Shev: And look how quickly they accepted the proposal I leave town. I recommend our cousin Romilda - she actually lives in town and is less likely to blow the place up.
 
And then Arram receives a delegation too - Roger, Knobroc and Sennsa-Auel the elven madam - they want more representation for small businesses. Roger, in fact, is willing to stand down if Arram will take his place. They might not OBJECT to the Fisherman’s Guild having a voice of the council - they just hope it’s not Aldo.
 
Knobroc: Although there have been some grumblings about your relationship with one of your students.
Arram: A FORMER student. A fair proportion of the town are my former students by now.
Knobroc: Fair point.
Arram: … I’m going to have THREE jobs and a new kid.
 
His religious education classes have some objectors too.
 
Arram OoC: I took a freaking level in Religion for those classes! They’re just looking for something to complain about.
Miya: ‘Gods exist. Thus endeth the lesson’
 
But then being an atheist in Golarion is a losing proposition, unless your position is that the gods neither require nor deserve your worship. You might fit in in the nation of Rahadoum, though - they banned all religion. 
 
Arram canvases some of the other business owners, such as Gonno. He assures the Oread that since the council only meets monthly, and he won’t be Mayor for at least 5 years, he can handle the double-duty as schoolmaster. He also asks how Gonno’s children are doing - which, if the carpenter was more talkative, would lead to hours of happy boasting. Clearly his daughter is going to be a carpenter - look at how much hammer damage she’s done to the wall. Arram makes his excuses, and is sent on his way with a cold beer and goat cheese. He gets more refreshments at Miya and Falx’s place, while talking with them and the forestry rep Blake, but as he is heading to the Warren doubles over with agonizing gut cramps. Miya and Falx are suddenly taken ill as well. The three reach Mother Maybell’s place at the same time, seeking medical aid. She diagnoses poison. 
 
Arram: Thought so. (OOC: That’s usually why I need to make mysterious CON saves.)
 
Blake is not at home. Hopefully he hasn’t keeled over somewhere. Kragor and the militia find him, eventually, between two of the houses. Alive, but not well. It seems certain the poison was in the bottle of wine they shared. None of the servants recall even serving wine. 
 
Arram: Genuine Magnimaran Leaded Wine.
Miya: Extra sweet.
 
Skave analyzes the residue - it’s a mineral poison, usually used as a slow poison. The four victims just got an acute dose of arsenic. He prepares antidotes, while Arram checks on the other candidates. Skiri is busy at work on a Pinnace.
 
Shev OoC: It’s the finest Pinnace I’ve ever seen. Huge.
Skave’s player: You’re doing that deliberately.
 
Skiri Olafsdottir: Poison? I didn’t think the politics around here was THAT bad.
Arram: Honestly, neither did I.
 
She’s already worked through lunch, and nobody has left a plate of food anywhere for her to snack on. Arram moves on to check on Aldo. He’s out on the river.
 
Miya: A perfect alibi.
 
Skiri is certainly a more popular candidate than Aldo, although Aldo does have more influence. But Arram has made more impact on town, and influential friends besides. So it’ll be the boatwright and the teacher assuming places on the council. It’s ironic that Arram has always thought himself a conservative figure, but he might be responsible for some real change in Selversgard.
 
Skave: I buy Arram a bottle of wine to congratulate him and to apologise for all the times I’ve set him on fire.
Miya: He was just poisoned by a bottle of wine.
Skave: I checked it first!
 
Eddison has business for the new council - he requires permission for a new inn in town.
 
Eddison: I either work at the place some people avoid because the Yellow House is next door, or the place that smells of fish guts!
 
Eddison: I want to focus on the eating side of things.
Miya: Then we come to the important question, what are you going to call it?
Eddison: …..
Gonno: Hello?
Eddison: I’m thinking!
GM: The Crickets Chirping?
Eddison: I’m sure I’ll think of something before we open.
 
If he builds it on a jetty, or incorporates a living tree into the building somehow, Eddison can avoid most of Silas the Green’s objections. Especially if we do the druids some kind of favour first. And if he leans on his charisma half the people in town will give him discounts on everything else he needs to build his new inn.
 
Eddison: I’m fabulous, just ask me.
 
But the ‘servant’ that placed the poisoned wine is never identified. And part of the Ysoki warren collapses into more of those mystery tunnels. And while scouting the riverbed after a boat collision, Eddison finds an ominous dome protruding from the mud. It once had a statue on top - that’s what the boat hit.
 
And, alas, Arram does not become a father. A sad start to his new career, and the eighth year of the campaign.

(Thank you Quackhell for picking a New York team. And welcome back)
 
'Tec
 
The investigator of the group is Saul Cranley. Unlike some of the investigating crowd he can take a bit of a hit and still keep going. He knows police procedure and how to deal with a crime scene, what clues are relevant and which might be red herrings. The name is short for Detective although some people think it relates to technological devices and try to hit him with EMPs or similar with little to no effect. He was part of a team before hand and can teach the youngsters a few things like proper liaison with the police and other authorities, team work and beware of your contacts and allies as they could turn on you at a moment's notice. You see Paul is under a curse. He cannot leave New York City. That is the price he pays for crossing The Sybll like his friend The Flying Dutchman. Trying to leave the city leaves him feeling ill and actual removal leaves him comatose. Returning to the city will restore him but it takes time.
 
(In 2011 I did the Flying Dutchman and only when putting the team in a document did I realise that I had not done any of the other members of the team although I had outline the curse effects on some of them like never being able to go to the States again, never leaving the water for more than an hour, never being able to leave New York and losing their powers. That is why I wanted to do a New York team)

The Flying Net !
Whose heroic efforts made sure that all those turkeys that were dropped in Cincinnati landed safely.
Hurrah for the Flying Net !

The Flying Net !
Whose heroic efforts made sure that all those turkeys that were dropped in Cincinnati landed safely.
Hurrah for the Flying Net !

I would love at this juncture to bow and modestly claim that you are right. However until you mentioned it I was blindly oblivious. Maybe my subconscious did it.
 
Meantime.
 
Let this be a salutary lesson to you all. never give a supervillain or a Mad Scientist a board game. The Mad Intellectual Think Tank was given Kingdom of Tokyo and were playing a few rounds when inevitably someone mentioned that they could design one of the monsters with ease.
'The one problem is that the law enforcement people would know that one of us was responsible' said Professor Mayhem, 'No-one else could build anything that large'
'Nor equip it with such weaponry'. added Professor Steraica,'Although we would be limited in attacking either New York or Tokyo'
Both then saw an BB looking at something and paused to follow her gaze. She was looking at The Designer who was holding the dice in his hands and studying it intently.
'Maybe' he began, 'Maybe we are looking at this the wrong way. What if we used the symbols from the dice to cause an effect from someone'
'How so ? asked BB
'Well, the claw is easy you take damage from it. The heart will heal damage you took and the lightning would power you up. I just don't know what we could do with the numbers 1, 2 or 3' replied The Designer.
'We could have that mean that one, two or three powers activate', said The Assistant.
'Hmm' said The Designer 'We imbue a subject with the ability to do this and that would throw the authorities off. It would have to be somebody that is alive because the law would know Dr Corpening's work easily. And we can't transplant claws onto them as again that would tie it to us'
 
'So Dr Boumont and Dr Nymax! make the subject and imbue them with the ability to generate or call the effects into being. The rest of us work on a way to make the effects reality.' replied the Assistant.
'Excuse me, I'll go find Spirit in the Sky and get to work' replied BB. The group had taking to calling Dr Nymax! Spirit in the Sky as a reference to the good doctor being away with the fairies and the cover version being by Doctor and the Medics.
 
Thus was born Queen of Tokyo who has to roll dice before something happens. She can summon claws that can shred through tanks, so battlesuits, armour wearers and forcefields/forcewall users beware. She can energise herself and this is dangerous if someone tries to jump her when she tries to do it as they can be electrocuted. She can heal herself. And lastly she can use one of three effects which varies week to week. The authorities are baffled by whomever gave her powers but she can be taken down quickly during dice rolling so she is not considered a major threat.
 
(I have King of Tokyo and it is great fun. Also available as King of New York)

Colin Briarley, Master of Monopoly !
 
Colin is an oddity in the world of paranormals in that his power depends on either location or money or something about you. You see if the fight takes place anywhere that has been represented on a Monopoly board he can somehow subvert the environment against the heroes. But that is not all. If there is anything that represents a token from the game, he can use that against people.so Top Hat, Iron, Dog, Boat, Thimble and Car have all been employed much to the aggrivation of law enforcement and heroes. It was only latterly that they realised that Houses and Hotels were also game pieces which made him a pain. Then there are the two utilities and Car Parking. But also Jail and Go To Jail. Sending police officers or heroes into incarceration is funny. The first time, But springing people from Jail is just out of order.
But how on earth did he get such powers ? What kind of fiend would empowers someone to do this ? Conspiracy theorists point to that exclamation mark as absolute proof but as yet he has not confirmed it and no-one has managed any conclusive proof.  

congrats to Steraica as this is team 600

Roast.
 
Sunday dinner particularly and it does not matter if it is beef, lamb, pork, chicken, turkey or whatever

Finished the hero thread with two or three missing as one was to do with pictures that we lost.
 
I need to get all the names from the Lists into a spreadsheet to work out where we clashing on names. Sadly there are several examples where we are duplicating the same names.
 
And an apology to Steraica. Yes you clearly have spelling mistakes in some of your entries but there are others as well who we should have spoken to about this issue.
 
If anyone wants a particular team you can ask me as they are now documented without the actual people who posted the entry credited as yet. They are in document form but I may export to pdf next. 

Eggnog

Rack
 
Martin Dugdale had yet to get a proper name as a supervillain but was appallingly strong. When he was brought along to the see Von Droom and a number of people suggested changing IDs to death traps people asked 'what does he do ?' Martin was strong but his grip seemed stronger all but inescapable. He could grab hold of someone and stretch them just like a rack, the old torture device. Ordinarily this would not be a death trap but because Martin would be holding on to them it was as good as. Martin was delighted. He's not the smartest tool in the box, more a point and do sort of guy but when he does it, it will be done. 

Woman charged with murder in poison mushroom case. I would say 'Only in Australia' but death cap mushroom are found in Britain as well.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-67293752

Maiden In Ironland
 
Know how many Iron Maidens there are ? Or Iron Ladies ? Or Iron Girls ? Iron Women ? The list goes on and on..
So when Iron Maid was hired and saw old death traps and the Vincent Price film, The Pit and the Pendulum she saw the Iron Maiden as a trap for the first time. And thus the awful pun Maiden in Ironland was born. She is a medium level brick in an armoured suit who ends to use a polearm or staff in Hand to Hand combat.

19a ?

Meerkats that try to sell you car insurance.

Another man whose life was going nowhere was Paul Grady. He had an ordinary office job and it was mundane until he was made redundant. Stuck in the apartment trying to work out what jobs to apply for and how he would have to pay rent, the chemicals and mutagens got to work while the subliminal messages turned him to the course of evil. He dreamed of another existence and when he woke he looked into the mirror and saw a stranger, a corpulent moustached fellow with a bulbous nose and large horn rimmed glasses. Startled he shook and resumed his own appearance. Puzzled he looked into the mirror again and slowly pictured himself as the stranger again. Lo and behold he changed gradually. And he had power, power over the lesser beings, power over their minds for he had developed mental powers. He found these powers only came with the new form and over a few days he experimented as he could now hear peoples thoughts, make them believe they saw things they did not, temporarily paralyse their minds and cause them pain. Then working on the basis 'Go Big or Go Home' he walked into his former employment and went after the bosses causing them to transfer money to him and some of their possessions before making them unsure of what they had done and to whom. As he returned to the apartment he let the others know he was aware of them and was prepared to be their leader. For like other mentalists before him he has an entire chip shop on his shoulder. He is Magnum Opus
 
an odd effect of the transformation is that Paul can be read by a telepath in his own ID and it will show nothing of his criminal career. However as Magnum Opus IF someone got through his ego and mental defences all would be revealed including the others. But how powerful would you have to be to do that ?

Just completed writing up documents pulling the villain teams together. 586 so far. Missing the last two.
 
Onto the Hero thread.