Pariah

Spin City

I'll miss the biscuits.

Red Lobster files for bankruptcy days after closing dozens of locations across the US

Petticoat Junction

(And M is for M*A*S*H.)

Duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sounds. 

The Jeffersons

Student: "Hi Mr P i have been waiting for a grade for the Energy research presentation for a week now. Can you please grade it as soon as possible. Thank you for all you do."

How I didn't respond: "That assignment was due in March. But sure, I'll just drop everything I have to grade for my other 230 students and jump right on that for you."

🙄

Everybody Loves Raymond 

And in breach of protocol, I'm also taking B because it was a great series.

All In the Family

Yellowcake

Unflavored 

Merlot 

The Arizona Coyotes 

For his most recent birthday, Bazza received Cold Chisel. Not the band, mind you, but an actual chisel cooled down to within a few degrees of absolute zero.

Kraft Dinner flavour 

A woman and her seven year old are riding the bus one rainy day. The boy notices a number of women standing on the street corners. He asks his mom, "Why are those ladies standing on the street corners in the rain?"

Not wanting to try to explain things just at that moment, the mom says, "They're probably just waiting for their husbands to finish work and come get them."

Overhearing the conversation, the bus driver shouts out, "Why lie to the kid? Why not just tell him the truth?"

Before the mom can respond, the kid says, "What's the truth, mister?"

"They're called prostitutes, kid. They sleep with men for money."

The mom and her son both sit in shocked silence for a moment. The boy then asks his mom, "What happens to the kids of those ladies?"

The mom smiles sweetly and says, "Well, I expect that most of them grow up to become bus drivers."

Last year I got my boss a headstone for his birthday. He wasn't happy.

So this year I didn't get him anything. When he asked me why not, I said, "You still haven't used the present I gave you last year."

The hallways are extended gutters and the gutters are full of undiscarded Red Bull cans and half-empty Starbucks cups, and when the trash cans finally run over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of their semesters of idleness and apathy will foam up around their waists and all the entitled jocks and teenage social climbers will look up and shout "Save our GPAs!" And I'll look down and whisper, "No." 

At the tender age of three
I was hooked to a machine
Just to keep my mouth from spouting junk, ha

Must have took me for a fool
'Cause they chucked me out of school
'Cause the teacher knew I had the funk

But tonight I'm on the edge
You better shut me in the fridge
'Cause I'm burning up, I'm burning up

With the vision in my brain
And the music in my veins
And the dirty rhythm in my blood

They are messing with my heart
And they're messing with my heart
And they're messing with my heart
Won't stop messing with my
Oh, ripping me apart!

Hyperactive when I'm small
Hyperactive now I'm grown
Hyperactive and the night is young

And in a minute, I'll blow

And they're messing with my heart
(So how long have you been having these delusions?)
Keep on messing with my heart
(Hm, please tell me more about your mother)

Oh, ripping, ripping, ripping, ripping, ripping me apart
Semaphore out on the floor
Messages from outer space
Deep heat for the feet
The rhythm of your heartbeat
'Cause the music of the street
It isn't any rapattack (oh)
It isn't any rapattack (oh)
Rap-a, rap-a, rap-a, t-t-t-t-t-tack

I can reach into your homes
Like an itch in your headphones
You can't turn it up (ow)

Yeah, I'm the shape in your back room
I'm the breather on the phone
And I'm burning up (ow)

But there's one thing I must say
'Fore they lock me up again
You'd be safer at the back
When I'm having an
Attack, attack, attack, attack

Hyperactive when I'm small
Hyperactive now I'm tall
Hyperactive as the day is long

Hyperactive in my bones
Hyperactive in your phones
Hyperactive and the night is young

Hyperactive when I'm small
Hyperactive now I'm grown
Hyperactive 'till I'm dead and gone

Stand up, hyperactivate
Get up, hyperactivate
Wise up, hyperactivate
London, hyperactivate

Hyperactive when I'm small
Hyperactive now I'm tall
Hyperactive as the day is long

Hyperactive in my bones
Hyperactive in your phones
Hyperactive and the night is young

Hyperactive when I'm small
Hyperactive now I'm grown

Hyperactive 'till I'm dead and gone

Black currant chocolate