Pariah

The Buffalo Bills are playing the Jacksonville Jaguars in the playoffs. 

The Denver Broncos are sitting at home after their worst season in decades. 

What kind of bizarre alternate universe have I entered here?

Imposter 

Last season, the league-worst Colorado Avalanche finished the year with 22 wins and 48 points.

This year, the Avs have 22 wins and 47 points right now. If the playoffs started today, Colorado would be in as the #8 seed in the West.

What a great season so far!

Baron 

4 hours ago, BoloOfEarth said:

NT:  So, if it doesn't launch nukes, what does that big button on the President's desk actually do?

It makes flaultulent noises. The President pushes it constantly, giggling the whole time.

New Topic: The Cleveland Browns have just announced a surprise hire to try to turn their season around next year. Who is it?

45 minutes ago, tkdguy said:

A: If you can't handle it, suffer!

Q: Wait, nobody told me this was a Twilight marathon!

A: It's really hard to stop.

Hey, it looks like the Chiefs are going to win their first playoff game in...

Never mind.

11 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

NT: Subtle signs your rich uncle has once again left you out of his will.

He's just installed a gold-plated swimming pool...and then filled it with gold coins.

New Topic: The President's most recent tweet that shows, remarkably, that he's actually paying attention.

Chaos, panic, and disorder 

I don't care who you are, that's funny right there!

Now that Gruden is returning to coach the Raiders, I think Monday Night Football should bring back Dennis Miller.

Is there halal salt?

Gruden. Raiders. 10 years, ~$100M.

My Latest Brilliant Plan for Fixing College Football’s National Championship Mess

7 hours ago, tkdguy said:

A: I was wondering what that smell was!

Q:  Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

A:  Don't look at me. I wanted Foxbat.

How many people actually worry about kosher any more?

Order

Lions >> Eels

Who's worse?

2008 Detroit Lions vs. 2017 Cleveland Browns 

Would pig wings sell as well as buffalo wings?

Heroes: Vixen, Valkyrie, and Vindicator

Mission: Hela has loosed a herd of fearsome Asgardian beasts on downtown Toronto. Who ya gonna call?

New Letter: E

Heat 

44 minutes ago, Cancer said:

A:  Aluminum is not a fabric!

Q: Tinfoil hats are so passé. How about a toque woven from aluminium fibres?

A: In this case, I don't think the spelling actually matters.

We wonder about a lot of things, you know?

That's what I'm asking you!

39 minutes ago, death tribble said:

The reboot had Edward James Olmos. I have met him. Nice guy. Treats the fans well.

The original went into Galactica 80. Thus the reboot wins.

Yeah, but you also like the Minnesota Vikings and that plain-looking woman from The X-Files, so what do you know?