Tim
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Posts
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Days Won
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Everything posted by Tim
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Q: so, have you apologized to Rachel yet? A: A rock on a hard place.
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Q: What caused the nuclear meltdown? A: Bruce!
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Q: What does McGuyver need to escape? A: I saw it on the telly.
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Q: What was the first line of that joke? A: the world's largest margarita.
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Q: How do you convince your boss you're sick? You need to see the commerical A: A fat guy in a dinosuar suit.
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Q: How do you take advantage of Rachel? A: Automatic Manual Lift
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Q: Do you know why cowboys walk all splay-legged like that? A; A man among lemmings.
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Q: So, did your little freind get any action on your blind date? A: There's only 3 of them and one is made entirely out of wood.
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When you reincarnate, are house cats above or below humans on the wheel of life?
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Q: I was ducking Rachel and her bat, and got this nasty rug burn. Do you have any idea how long it will take to heal? A: It's kind of warm air.
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Q: You say a hooker is riding the Ferris Wheel? A: Steel Man
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Q: What event would be protessed by boththte left and right? A: I've got Gigli in a bottle.
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Q: What is the rallying cry of the Conservative Elite? A: So many women, so little Viagra. (I have the Reality quote on my keychain.)
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Q: You siad something about a great outcry at the last Dean rally? A: Reality is the leading cause of Stress.
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Q: What makes a great Christmas for you? A: The 3 R's; Relics, Rituals, and 'Rasslin'
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Q: WOah! You just launched your cat to the moon. How much energy did you use? A: Pansie General
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Q: Now that I've upgraded my power armor. What should I do with last years model? A: Gone in 60 picoseconds.
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My favorites are Firestorm (9+) and Blitz (8+). consider them stolen. BTW the numbers are on a 10 point scale.
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A wookie of the opposite sex?
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Q: CAn you beleive I'm actually going on a date with Cindy Crawford? A: 5 counts of Felony Insurance Claims
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Q; WHat did you get instead of a new seat cushion? A: Dark City Hunter
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Q: So you follow the MAster Villian who took over Alaska. What is his name? A: I like the Fex. Their fur tickles.
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Q: I don't think the Pro Baseball people will want a bumpy bat. Why did you make it? A: White is Black, and Black is Whiite
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Wow DOug, those where great. Tied into national origon without being trite.
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Q: Where is this 3 free months of Sado-Masicist Magaazine offer from? A: Next thing you know, it'll be snowing in Hell.