BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 11, 2014 Report Share Posted July 11, 2014 Q: Where is that Monkey-chatter coming from? A: No soup for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 11, 2014 Report Share Posted July 11, 2014 A: No soup for you! Q: I'd like to buy lunch. Yes, I am a Brazilian football player, and.... A: You have the "no claims allowed" auto insurance plan. But I hope you're enjoying the naked woman.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Q: You say my auto-insurance salesman is a Devil in a Blue Dress? A: Fortune smiles upon you, my friend. It is a day of wine and roses. Or in your case, beer and pizza! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 A: Fortune smiles upon you, my friend. It is a day of wine and roses. Or in your case, beer and pizza!A - Is it a great day to live in Cleveland or what?! Q - I can probably name three things I care less about, but you'll have to give me a minute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Q - I can probably name three things I care less about, but you'll have to give me a minute. Q: My wife just left me! Is it because she saw Ashley Madison.com on my browser history? A: They call it football, yet nobody uses their feet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 13, 2014 Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 Q: Why are you hating on American Sports, you Limey Bastard? A: If anything deserves a kick in the nuts, it is that right there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 13, 2014 Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 A: If anything deserves a kick in the nuts, it is that right there. Q - I fathered the Kardashians! A - There's no excuse for that kind of meticulous attention to detail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 13, 2014 Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 A - There's no excuse for that kind of meticulous attention to detail. Q: [Applejack]"I found Twilight Sparkle's "to-do" list for the day. Can somebody help me lift it?"[/Applejack] A: If Humpty Dumpty can't find better things to do with his time than sit on high walls all day, it's his own fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 13, 2014 Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 Q: I find you lack of empathy for the egg-man disturbing. What did he ever do to you? A: When life hands you lemons, don't make lemonade - grab life by the throat and tell him to take back his damned lemons or you are going to burn his house down! With lemons! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 15, 2014 Report Share Posted July 15, 2014 Q: I find you lack of empathy for the egg-man disturbing. What did he ever do to you? A: When life hands you lemons, don't make lemonade - grab life by the throat and tell him to take back his damned lemons or you are going to burn his house down! With lemons! Q: Why are you facing arson charges and the main evidence is a bag of lemons? A: Buffeted by Buffy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 16, 2014 Report Share Posted July 16, 2014 A: Buffeted by Buffy. Q: Our Vampire GM hasn't shown up yet. Any idea what might have happened to him? A: When Werewolf games get too literal, it's time go go to a different con. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 16, 2014 Report Share Posted July 16, 2014 Q: Umm.... have you noticed the next LARP is scheduled during the full moon? A: For you I'll cut the price down 10% and throw in a free carwash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 16, 2014 Report Share Posted July 16, 2014 Q: Umm.... have you noticed the next LARP is scheduled during the full moon? A: For you I'll cut the price down 10% and throw in a free carwash. Q: Why are we holding the con at the carwash? A: When a midget is a giant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 17, 2014 Report Share Posted July 17, 2014 A: When a midget is a giant. Q: How do you know your incredibly complicated shrinking ray is out of whack? A: OK, I admit it. You were right about the demon-summoning spell. But you were wrong about the offering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 17, 2014 Report Share Posted July 17, 2014 A: OK, I admit it. You were right about the demon-summoning spell. But you were wrong about the offering. Q: See? Fourteen stale Oreos gone, fourteen spastic Boston terriers in their place! Not exactly the hellhounds we were after, but it's a proof of concept, right? A: "Next time, we want Buffalo wings," is what those firey runes say in Abyssal. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 17, 2014 Report Share Posted July 17, 2014 A: "Next time, we want Buffalo wings," is what those firey runes say in Abyssal. Q: How are we going to cope now that Satan's learned to post to Yelp? A: Congratulations, you have just uncreated the Universe. If I still existed, I would be impressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 17, 2014 Report Share Posted July 17, 2014 A: Congratulations, you have just uncreated the Universe. If I still existed, I would be impressed. Q:FRAZZ- A: I distinctly told you not to cross the beams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 17, 2014 Report Share Posted July 17, 2014 A: I distinctly told you not to cross the beams. Q - We're scared! How do we get back to the other side of this high-rise construction site? A - For one thing, the peach cider is fantastic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 17, 2014 Report Share Posted July 17, 2014 Q: Why should I attend my mother's wedding? I hate her and I hate the guy she's marrying even more! A: Nothing says hate like Ghost-Pepper Sauce on your ex's pizza! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 A: Nothing says hate like Ghost-Pepper Sauce on your ex's pizza! Q: Why did you decide to deliver pizza to her yourself instead of have us do it? A: Evidently the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are incapable to writing a coherent blog post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 Q: What the hell? Why does this blog page vary in topics in discussion so badly? Skateboarding, surfing and pizza-toppings I get. But Martial Arts and the pros and cons of various martial-arts weapons versus robots and aliens? It just goes back and forth with no semblance of order! A: And that right there is why Doctor Doom will quit within five minutes of actually taking over the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 20, 2014 Report Share Posted July 20, 2014 A: And that right there is why Doctor Doom will quit within five minutes of actually taking over the world. Q: OK, global warming is your problem now. And the African famines, that little brouhaha in the Ukraine, fixing Social Security, getting these damn freeways built, figuring out what to do with all those abandoned steel mills.... A: Puppies must be protected at all costs. Kittens can take care of themselves. Rabbits are yummy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 20, 2014 Report Share Posted July 20, 2014 Q: Why were you thrown out of PETA again? A: I'm a plumber, not an Exorcist! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 20, 2014 Report Share Posted July 20, 2014 A: I'm a plumber, not an Exorcist! Q: Can you help me, Joe? Every time I use the shower I end up covered head-to-toe in green ichor! A: I'm a train tumbling and making mistakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 21, 2014 Report Share Posted July 21, 2014 Q: Say Thomas, what makes you think Sir Toppum Hat is going to demote you to shunter? A: A pound of plastic explosives will solve any problem. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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