Cancer Posted May 14, 2024 Report Posted May 14, 2024 On 5/12/2024 at 4:00 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Any accurate statement about Orks is insulting. Q: What do you mean, Ork is best prepared by long slow braising, and as a winter stew it's both tasty and nutritious? A: Of course, they like it that way. Quote
Asperion Posted May 15, 2024 Report Posted May 15, 2024 18 hours ago, Cancer said: Q: What do you mean, Ork is best prepared by long slow braising, and as a winter stew it's both tasty and nutritious? A: Of course, they like it that way. Q: What do you mean when they prefer the Hansel and Gretel solution? A: That is the Fairy Tale Way. Quote
Pariah Posted May 15, 2024 Report Posted May 15, 2024 1 hour ago, Asperion said: A: That is the Fairy Tale Way. Q: Your legal system is based on horrifying consequences for even trivial offenses that we never tell the kids about? A: Bite that guy, not me. Quote
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 19, 2024 Report Posted May 19, 2024 On 5/15/2024 at 9:02 AM, Pariah said: Q: Your legal system is based on horrifying consequences for even trivial offenses that we never tell the kids about? A: Bite that guy, not me. Q: What did Mina say when the Count caught her "in the act" with a college student half her age? A: I am a demolition worker. It is my job to turn buildings into vacant spaces where other buildings can be built in their place. I hope you will take that into account, Your Honor. Quote
Cancer Posted May 19, 2024 Report Posted May 19, 2024 2 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I am a demolition worker. It is my job to turn buildings into vacant spaces where other buildings can be built in their place. I hope you will take that into account, Your Honor. Q: YOU DYNAMITED THE HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT?!? A: I said, "Guy Fawkes." Got that? Fawkes. Quote
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 20, 2024 Report Posted May 20, 2024 On 5/18/2024 at 10:56 PM, Cancer said: A: I said, "Guy Fawkes." Got that? Fawkes. Q: I got the movie you wanted but I didn't know -- are you really into porno? A: We don't talk about Pizza. No, No, No we don't talk about Pizza! Quote
Asperion Posted May 21, 2024 Report Posted May 21, 2024 17 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: I got the movie you wanted but I didn't know -- are you really into porno? A: We don't talk about Pizza. No, No, No we don't talk about Pizza! Q: For dinner, are we having Hawaiian, pepperoni, Chicago style? A: That interstate running through your planet. Quote
Pariah Posted May 21, 2024 Report Posted May 21, 2024 5 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: That interstate running through your planet. Q: Oh, what are the bloody Vogons on about this time? A: Justice may be blind, but the neighbors aren't. Quote
Asperion Posted May 24, 2024 Report Posted May 24, 2024 On 5/21/2024 at 8:08 AM, Pariah said: Q: Oh, what are the bloody Vogons on about this time? A: Justice may be blind, but the neighbors aren't. Q: Now that the courts have found him innocent, what made everyone attack him on the way out? A: The fire is frozen. Quote
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 30, 2024 Report Posted May 30, 2024 On 5/24/2024 at 7:24 AM, Asperion said: A: The fire is frozen. Q: Whatever your complaint against Disney, isn't organizing a public DVD burning a bit much? A: And that's why coffee is for grownups! Quote
Asperion Posted June 2, 2024 Report Posted June 2, 2024 On 5/29/2024 at 8:46 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Whatever your complaint against Disney, isn't organizing a public DVD burning a bit much? A: And that's why coffee is for grownups! Q: Are you really a three foot tall giant? A: That was made from inverse particles. Quote
Cancer Posted June 3, 2024 Report Posted June 3, 2024 12 hours ago, Asperion said: A: That was made from inverse particles. Q: [background singing: "It's Anti-Doody Time, it's Anti-Doody Time, it's Anti-Doody Time, ....] [Foreground announcer:] "Hello, boys and girls, do you know what time it is? That's, right, it's ... Anti-Doody Time! And here are our hosts, Anti-Doody and Unpeakable Swords!" A: There's highly charged debate about weak neutral currents. Quote
Asperion Posted June 5, 2024 Report Posted June 5, 2024 On 6/2/2024 at 9:00 PM, Cancer said: Q: [background singing: "It's Anti-Doody Time, it's Anti-Doody Time, it's Anti-Doody Time, ....] [Foreground announcer:] "Hello, boys and girls, do you know what time it is? That's, right, it's ... Anti-Doody Time! And here are our hosts, Anti-Doody and Unpeakable Swords!" A: There's highly charged debate about weak neutral currents. Q: How are we supposed to get anything from these neutrons? A: When I said longhorn, that was not what I meant. Quote
Pariah Posted June 5, 2024 Report Posted June 5, 2024 12 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: When I said longhorn, that was not what I meant. Q: How's that alpenhorn sounding, Tex? A: Defeated by a pair of knaves. Quote
Cancer Posted June 5, 2024 Report Posted June 5, 2024 4 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Defeated by a pair of knaves. Q: His hole cards included two jacks, to go with the two others he had showing? A: Slime! Semi-infinite quantities of slime! Quote
Asperion Posted June 8, 2024 Report Posted June 8, 2024 On 6/5/2024 at 12:01 PM, Cancer said: Q: His hole cards included two jacks, to go with the two others he had showing? A: Slime! Semi-infinite quantities of slime! Q: What is Trump's planet made from? A: Just look into the clown car. Quote
Pariah Posted June 8, 2024 Report Posted June 8, 2024 44 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: Just look into the clown car. Q: I'm sorry, but I don't believe you've constructed a functional tesseract. A: It's somewhere in the spectrum between gray and tan. Quote
Asperion Posted June 14, 2024 Report Posted June 14, 2024 On 6/8/2024 at 10:00 AM, Pariah said: Q: I'm sorry, but I don't believe you've constructed a functional tesseract. A: It's somewhere in the spectrum between gray and tan. Q: How would you define the trial of Hunter Biden? A: That coffee would wake up zombies. Quote
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 14, 2024 Report Posted June 14, 2024 4 hours ago, Asperion said: A: That coffee would wake up zombies. Q: Why aren't you drinking the coffee Herbert West brewed just for us? A: Serving the American people, with fries and a Coke! Quote
Asperion Posted June 17, 2024 Report Posted June 17, 2024 On 6/14/2024 at 1:07 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Why aren't you drinking the coffee Herbert West brewed just for us? A: Serving the American people, with fries and a Coke! Q: Have you heard about the wild trip people get from McDonald's? A: That is a face only a devil could love. Quote
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 22, 2024 Report Posted June 22, 2024 On 6/17/2024 at 7:17 AM, Asperion said: A: That is a face only a devil could love. Q: Don't you understand? I'm a Succubus! A servant of the darkest powers! Did you expect me to be beautiful and charming? A: Man, you sure picked the wrong day to summon the souls of your dead parents! Quote
Asperion Posted June 26, 2024 Report Posted June 26, 2024 On 6/21/2024 at 10:09 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Don't you understand? I'm a Succubus! A servant of the darkest powers! Did you expect me to be beautiful and charming? A: Man, you sure picked the wrong day to summon the souls of your dead parents! Q: What were you thinking choosing Beltane for this all important ritual? A: We cannot let the truth get in the way of the news. Quote
Cancer Posted June 28, 2024 Report Posted June 28, 2024 On 6/26/2024 at 6:59 AM, Asperion said: A: We cannot let the truth get in the way of the news. Q: You know they're corrupt; why do you watch TV news? A: Donkey Kong pr0n. Quote
Asperion Posted June 30, 2024 Report Posted June 30, 2024 On 6/27/2024 at 7:08 PM, Cancer said: Q: You know they're corrupt; why do you watch TV news? A: Donkey Kong pr0n. Q: What is this presentation titled "Candy Kong Adventures"? A: History is your master. Quote
Pariah Posted June 30, 2024 Report Posted June 30, 2024 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: History is your master. Q: After getting my bachelor's degree in archeology, can you guess what I did next? A: I'm not aware of any scientific instrument that measures for that. There really ought to be one, though. Quote
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