Pariah Posted December 3, 2014 Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 A: You know my name. Look up the number. Q - Mr. Gretzky, we wanted to welcome you by making you a customized jersey of our high school football team. It's number 66, right? A - One after 909. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 3, 2014 Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 A - One after 909. Q: Where do I find 910? A: It never fails. Whenever I take out my phone, here comes the porcupine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 4, 2014 Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Q: How many times to I have to tell you to stop using LSD? Eventually you are going to fry your brain to the point you are no longer interacting with reality. AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT? A: Sorry, but I think my blood is more valuable to me than yours is to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 5, 2014 Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Q: How many times to I have to tell you to stop using LSD? Eventually you are going to fry your brain to the point you are no longer interacting with reality. AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT? A: Sorry, but I think my blood is more valuable to me than yours is to you. Q: And here we have a great new product. It will provide near-instant travel -- Wait, Vlad, why are you looking at me like that? A: Use the reverse-inversion principle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 5, 2014 Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Q: I can't decide which is worse: Getting kicked in the nuts by twelve angry women, or running into a couple of rednecks while Kayaking in the south. A: Banjos... the Horror! The Horror! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 5, 2014 Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 A: Banjos... the Horror! The Horror! Q: Fancy meeting you here, Kazooie. And what brings you to our psychiatric practice? A: You'd think that there's a playthough in this video game where you get to save her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 9, 2014 Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Q: Fancy meeting you here, Kazooie. And what brings you to our psychiatric practice? A: You'd think that there's a playthough in this video game where you get to save her. Q: Why are you having so much trouble with the new, improved Donkey Kong game? A: That is the flux capacitor of doom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 9, 2014 Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 A: That is the flux capacitor of doom. Q: Is this the most crucial part in this Latverian time machine? A: Pie isn't as easy as everyone thinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 9, 2014 Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 A: Pie isn't as easy as everyone thinks. Q: So Miss Cherry Pie slapped you into the middle of next week when you put your hand on her knee? A: Dragons DO SO like blackberries! The problem is getting them enough! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 9, 2014 Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Q: Somehow I don't think Bahamut and Tiamat shop at Best Buy. Why would they need a PDA anyway? A: Code of the Marauders: Strike fast, strike hard, Leave Chaos in your wake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 13, 2014 Report Share Posted December 13, 2014 Q: Somehow I don't think Bahamut and Tiamat shop at Best Buy. Why would they need a PDA anyway? A: Code of the Marauders: Strike fast, strike hard, Leave Chaos in your wake. Q: How come my cell phone has no service when I really need it? A: I have a genuine void. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 13, 2014 Report Share Posted December 13, 2014 A: I have a genuine void. Q: All these celebutantes pretending to have voids where their brains should be. It's an act! It's fake! So why should we give you, heiress to a vast fortune, a TV contract and a deal to distribute your sex tape? A: Nab him! Jab him! Tab him! Grab him! Stop that pigeon NOW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 13, 2014 Report Share Posted December 13, 2014 Q: What's the Mafia's standing policy on snitches? A: Somehow a guy dressed as Darth Vader but talks with a high-pitched lisp just isn't the least bit awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 14, 2014 Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 Q: What's the Mafia's standing policy on snitches? A: Somehow a guy dressed as Darth Vader but talks with a high-pitched lisp just isn't the least bit awesome. Q: So, what makes you think that this Darth Vader is actually an imposter? A: The Death Star was built on discount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 14, 2014 Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 A: The Death Star was built on discount. Q: "A grate on the exhaust port? Why do we need that? Don't you realize that will add five hundred credits to the cost?" A: It came in on time and on budget. That doesn't mean it's not a horrible movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 14, 2014 Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 Q: What do you mean The Star Wars Holiday Special Ultra-Special-Edition hasn't sold a single ticket? It's a classic! A: And that's when the Nerd-Rage began. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 14, 2014 Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 A: And that's when the Nerd-Rage began. Q: So, did you hear that Captain Kirk is going to be completely celibate in the next movie? A: Yes, I blame the IRS for that, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 14, 2014 Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 A: Yes, I blame the IRS for that, too. Q: Don't you think leaving a 5% tip is rude, Senator Paul? A: It's the Golden Rule. He who has the Gold makes the Rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 14, 2014 Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 Q: What makes you think your presidential candidate has the Midas touch? A: Don't fear the reaper, just kick him in the stones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 14, 2014 Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 A: Don't fear the reaper, just kick him in the stones. A - Just how have you managed to remain immortal for 50,000 years, Mr. Savage? Q - If you don't like the job I'm doing, you're welcome to try it yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 15, 2014 Report Share Posted December 15, 2014 A - Just how have you managed to remain immortal for 50,000 years, Mr. Savage? Q - If you don't like the job I'm doing, you're welcome to try it yourself. Q: What is the problem, Mr. Scott? There is a problem with the ship and you are only sitting here. A: Nothing like bringing a crowbar to a swordfish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 15, 2014 Report Share Posted December 15, 2014 Q: Y'know, I get that our war with the Tyranid's has degraded to the point where the Imperium is using stolen Tau tech... but I really wish I could beat up the Tau-tech with a crowbar when the crap refuses to work! *CLANG* At least with Imperium tech, if it don't work, hitting with a hammer won't cause the frackin' thing to explode! I wonder if it's too late to join the heretics? A: So that's when I whipped out my AK-57 uzzie radar lasar triple barrel double scoped heat-seakin shotgun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 15, 2014 Report Share Posted December 15, 2014 A: So that's when I whipped out my AK-57 uzzie radar lasar triple barrel double scoped heat-seakin shotgun. Q: Almost lost the opening round of the Shameless Munchkin Rave-Off, did you? A: The guy with antimatter-plated poison fangs and francium astatide claws got chased off by the guy dual wielding Old Spice and Right Guard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 15, 2014 Report Share Posted December 15, 2014 A: The guy with antimatter-plated poison fangs and francium astatide claws got chased off by the guy dual wielding Old Spice and Right Guard. Q - What kind of mushrooms did you guys have on the pizza at last night's gaming session, anyway? A - Nobody knows the trouble I've been.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 15, 2014 Report Share Posted December 15, 2014 A - Nobody knows the trouble I've been.... Q: Why are you, of all kids, getting so many gifts from Santa after what you've pulled? A: Next year I'll be going straight! Next year I'll be good -- just wait! I'd start now, but it's too late.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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