BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 16, 2014 Report Share Posted December 16, 2014 Q: Why do have I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas on repeat on your I-Pod and drowning your sorrows with cheap booze? A: Infinite Mana-Loop and a fireball spell would be nice right about now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 16, 2014 Report Share Posted December 16, 2014 A: Infinite Mana-Loop and a fireball spell would be nice right about now. Q: You're that fond of that cinnamon whiskey stuff? A: Once it had sat in the basement into July, we just kept it there until we put the tree back up again last weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 16, 2014 Report Share Posted December 16, 2014 Q: That fruit-cake looks awfully familiar... isn't that the one your mother-in-law gave you last year? A: It's the gift that keeps on giving! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 16, 2014 Report Share Posted December 16, 2014 A: It's the gift that keeps on giving! Q - What the *$^%? A subscription the the Jelly of the Month club?! A - I'm trying to decide whether it's worth the jail time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 16, 2014 Report Share Posted December 16, 2014 A - I'm trying to decide whether it's worth the jail time.Q: Gonna try and grab a smooch on the visiting movie star? A: I'm just a hick from Hickey Town! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 17, 2014 Report Share Posted December 17, 2014 A: I'm just a hick from Hickey Town! Q: Is there a special reason you're picketing the Blu-Ray release of Deliverance? A: You don't see this sort of thing everyday. Unless, of course, you live in Cardiff. Then it happens all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 17, 2014 Report Share Posted December 17, 2014 Q: Was that Jack Harkness chasing a dozen ray-gun-wielding monkeys riding a hippo? A: I'm wounded that you would imply such a thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 17, 2014 Report Share Posted December 17, 2014 A: I'm wounded that you would imply such a thing! Q - Wow, that 'back injury' coming up just as you were about to head back to work sure is inconvenient, isn't it? A - No, I told her to shave the pig and boil the apples. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 17, 2014 Report Share Posted December 17, 2014 A - No, I told her to shave the pig and boil the apples. Q: What are these apple peels doing all over the floor, and is that pork soup I smell in the air? A: Of course, what you don't seem to understand is that around here we don't use matches or kerosene to light a fire. In fact, we don't need to light fires because we always have one handy anyway. Now WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SCREAMING!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Q: What are these apple peels doing all over the floor, and is that pork soup I smell in the air? A: Of course, what you don't seem to understand is that around here we don't use matches or kerosene to light a fire. In fact, we don't need to light fires because we always have one handy anyway. Now WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SCREAMING!? Q: I WAS ONLY ASKING FOR FIRESTORM TO COME OUT SO THAT WE COULD HAVE SOME FUN. A: Kirk with a Mord Sith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 20, 2014 Report Share Posted December 20, 2014 A: Kirk with a Mord Sith. Q: I want you to come up with a ship so obscure that nobody else at the con could possibly have thought of it! Any ideas? A: Yes, I know it's one of the greatest achievements in cybergenetics history. But don't just stand there admiring my work. RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 20, 2014 Report Share Posted December 20, 2014 Q: What is a blatant sign that your Shadow Run character is about to die a horrible, painful death? A: Don't make me hurt you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 20, 2014 Report Share Posted December 20, 2014 A: Don't make me hurt you. Q: And now for my encore -- "Royals" played by a 30-piece orchestra of kazoos! A: If you stand firm in your alliance, you have nothing to fear except what's about to come out of those woods! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Q: And now for my encore -- "Royals" played by a 30-piece orchestra of kazoos! A: If you stand firm in your alliance, you have nothing to fear except what's about to come out of those woods! Q: Sauron, with this big army that surrounds you, teamed with the Dark Lord, is there anything that you fear? A: That problem calls for a dunce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Q: Damnit! They've genius-proofed the shut-down mechanism for the End of the World machine! How can we shut it down? A: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your shirt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 A: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your shirt. Q: Hi, pal! I just got back from my vacation in Hawaii, and man was it great! I got all kinds of souvenirs, had the best surfing day of my life, and got hear some great -- hey, are you listening? A: Only little people pay taxes, which is why Hobbits never have enough money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Q: I wonder how Tolkien would have reacted to modern politics and tax-law? A: That's what you get for waiting til the last minute to do your holiday shopping. Schmuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Q: I wonder how Tolkien would have reacted to modern politics and tax-law? A: That's what you get for waiting til the last minute to do your holiday shopping. Schmuck. Q: What made you give your cat a poinsettia plant for Christmas? A: A freshly boiled planet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 A: A freshly boiled planet. Q: Why is Galactus so happy about climate change? A: Somehow you wouldn't think a pink pastel pony playing an ancient pipe organ in the middle of a crumbling castle would be all that frightening. Well, except that she's doing it without fingers.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Q: Your greatest fear is My Little Pony!? A: Please excuse me while I go into the other room to laugh my ass off. Please ignore my fist pounding on the wall. If you don't hear from me in 5 minutes, you may want to call a paramedic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 A: Please excuse me while I go into the other room to laugh my ass off. Please ignore my fist pounding on the wall. If you don't hear from me in 5 minutes, you may want to call a paramedic. Q - You know that the Cleveland Browns are going to win three Super Bowls in the next ten years with Johnny Manziel as their quarterback, don't you? A - Just let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 A - Just let it go. Q: This tiger I'm holding onto by the tail seems to be really upset. In fact, it looks like she's getting to maul me. What should I do? A: It's a Trappist! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Q: So what, does this dragon think it's too good to wander into my tiger-trap or something? A: That is by far the craziest plan in the history of Ever. Let's do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 28, 2014 Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 Q: So what, does this dragon think it's too good to wander into my tiger-trap or something? A: That is by far the craziest plan in the history of Ever. Let's do it! Q: What do you think of this plan to dive into the Sun? A: That is Mephesto's zodiac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 28, 2014 Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 A: That is Mephesto's zodiac. Q: I have to sell my soul to get my palm read? Why? A: Give you something for your soul? Since you offered it me it's mine already, so why should I bother to give you something for it? I'll just take it now, if you don't mind. Actually, I'll take it now whether you mind or not.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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