BlueCloud2k2

Argh! I love this strip, but I've been spoiled by those times he put out like three in a week. I really want resolution to this fight!

Understatement, thy name is Roy.

So after the vampire TELLS him "I'm a new Durkon" he finally figures out "Hey, it's not my old friend Durkon!"
 
So is he now about to take the "Un" out of "Undead?"
 
Lucius Alexander
 
The palindromedary predicts that the vampire, the Godsmoot, and the plans of Hel, are about to be greenly Disrupted

"If at first you don't succeed, keep trying until you roll a Critical Failure."

In the adventures of Corum by Michael Moorcock, there was a hulking character who called himself a "dwarf".  As I recall, our hero thought this most curious until he met a typical member of the gigantic race and, yes, the original guy did qualify as a "dwarf".
 
Hmmm...past time to dig those stories out and see how they read again...

Oh Hardy-Har-Har

If there is some strange, in the gallery.
Who you gonna call?
Shadow Runners!

That's a good point, but as the protagonist, I think Roy needs to figure that one out for himself. Rich seems to like playing with storytelling tropes and rules, and that one seems applicable  here. It'd also be a waste of Durkon's efforts to sabotage the Vampire's masquerade* if someone in the Order didn't figure it out.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
*Oops! One of those things you don't notice until you type it.

Bystander Effect plus background.  I would wager most of the bodyguards are not independent, wild-thinking mercenaries (run by Player Characters).  They are without doubt present at this momentous gathering because, beyond martial capability, they have proven themselves to be good at following military and religious commands.  No matter any alignment, they will look to their boss for orders.

There was a scene preceding the trial that I forgot to include:  an NPC hero flying brick (Major Justice) with nearly two decades of experience applied to join Just Cause.
 
Nexus: (looking over his resume) Flying Thunder, Longhorn, Lieutenant Freedom, Captain Incredible, Stalwart... he's certainly had a lot of superhero names.
Pops:  That's not a good sign.
 
They contact the last team he was an "associate" of:  S-Squad
 
Nexus:  We're checking references on Major Justice... ah, he went by Stalwart when he was working with S-Squad
S-Squad office manager:  Oh, yeah, how is ol' Crash Bandicoot doing?  Let me get one of the S-Squad heroes to talk to you.
 
Subliminal explains that Stalwart / Major Justice is a good guy, he just has a little problem with knockback.
 
Subliminal:  Synergy explained it once; his repulsion field makes him almost indestructible, but as it repulses damage, it pushes him away.  He'll take a huge hit, and then spend the next few minutes flying back to the fight.
 
Players from my prior campaign are discussing the NPC's personality with the newer players.
 
Malarky:  (OOC)  He's a real Dudley Doright type.  No shades of gray. 
Pops:  Well, he is not going to fit in with this bunch.
 
The heroes tell Major Justice that they'll get back to him.
 
Also, before continuing with last Sunday's quotes, I should summarize a scene from the week before that I forgot to include.
 
Nexus (in secret ID) was walking down the street when she saw a ghost of a woman, pleading in vain for passersby to help her.  (Nexus can see and communicate with dead people.)  The ghost told Nexus that she had just been killed by her ex, who was now going to either kill or take away their child.  Nexus followed the ghost up to the apartment (with the ghost passing through the wall beside the door before Nexus got up to the door).  When Nexus stepped through the door, she found herself in a spooky swamp, near an old bloodstained stone altar.  Scattered around were bones that weren't quite human.  And of course the door she just passed through is gone.  More troubling, the Mind Link she always has with Circe cut off as soon as she stepped through the door, since she actually traveled to another dimension.
 
There, she meets Charles Aching (those of you who read Drhoz's quotes of his Call of Cthulhu campaign may recognize him), who had previously given Road Kill some "music lyrics" that summoned various horrors including star vampires and a flying polyp.  He offers her a very binding mage pact:  she procures something for him, and he will bring her long-lost brother safely home.  Lots of conditions that should have made her rather nervous -- he won't tell her what the item actually is until she agrees to the pact, she can't reveal her interest in the item to anybody at any time, she can't work or aid in any way (including inaction, such as letting Circe read her mind) any attempts to take the item back from him after she gives it to him, etc.  To my complete surprise, she agreed.
 
(Being the evil little GM I am, I played this all out in front of all players, except revealing what Aching is after:  an ancient tome that McGinty and crew had acquired back in the 1920s.  Just sowing a little dissension in the ranks.)
 
Back to last Sunday's game.  Nexus, Malarky, and Pops go to the prosecutor's home to see what's up with Carson's wife.  When Nexus sees the woman, she also sees the spirit possessing her:  the same ghost that led her to her meeting with Charles Aching.
 
Nexus:  That b**ch!  She's going down!
Malarky:  Okay, what's the plan?  Because I don't think Pops or I have anything that will affect her.
Pops:  And if we take her down, how are we going to hold her?
Nexus:  [expletives deleted] 
Shadowboxer:  (OOC)  Anybody know the number for the Ghostbusters?
 
With Circe (whose mental powers might help capture the ghost) and Maker (who might be able to build a gadget to contain the ghost) both stuck at the trial, the heroes try to come up with ways to delay the trial's conclusion until the next day to buy them time.
 
Honey Badger:  Pops, can you teleport a big ol' cobra into the courtroom?  Then I can point and yell, "Aaaaah!  Cobra!"  That should do it.
Pops:  I am not teleporting a cobra into the courtroom.  They'll know it was me, and arrest me for contempt of court.  (Pause)  If you want, I can borrow a cobra from the zoo, and you can come out of the courtroom long enough to get it and bring it in with you.
HB:  How am I supposed to sneak it in?
Pops:  Stuff it down your pants.  You're immune to snake venom, aren't you?
HB:  I'm big and all, but a giant cobra might be a bit conspicuous.
GM:  Plus, there's getting it out once inside.  "Hold on, everyone, while I whip this out. (ziiiip)"
 
Eventually, they have little choice but to let the trial run its course, resulting in Wight being found not guilty and walking free.  As soon as the verdict is read, Carson's wife gets a phone call, after which the ghost leaves the body and flies away.  The heroes meet with Carson and his wife, vowing to capture the ghost and keep her from ever messing with their lives again.
 
That's two events down -- public appearance and a trial -- where the players fully expected a brawl, but nothing happened.  So they're almost relieved when TJ forwards a video file that was just emailed to him.  They see Ankylosaur, helmet off and smoking a cigar, sitting in the PRIMUS base's security monitoring room kicked back and relaxed.  In the background are noises of things getting demolished.
 
Ankylosaur:  Howdy do, Lost Cause.  Thought you'd like to know that there's a party at PRIMUS, and you're the guests of honor.  (puffs on cigar and smiles)  Don't you love it when a plan comes together?
 
(more to follow)

That A-Team adventure was actually two Sundays ago.  I was planning to have two weeks to prepare for my next game (our gaming group alternates between my Champions game and a D&D game), but on Friday evening the other GM texted, asking if I could run that Sunday instead.  Eep!
 
I decided to have a few non-combat events -- an NPC applying to join the hero team, a public appearance at a high school, and a trial of a supervillain captured a while back -- followed by a gratuitous combat.  Not wanting to map out a new location, I looked through my old paper maps and found one of a PRIMUS base.  Perfect.
 
Bit of background:  in my game, captured villains are typically taken to the PRIMUS base and put into holding cells until they can be transported to Stronghold.  In addition to capturing most of the A-Team, the heroes had previously captured a handful of the New Gods, a set of androids passing themselves off as various Greek gods and mythical heroes (Apollo, Artemis, Hermes, and Heracles).  The New Gods all have the Physical Complication that they can be turned off, so I figured PRIMUS had them deactivated and stored in their vault.
 
I told the players at the start of the evening that I had thrown that evening's adventure together on short notice and hadn't even had time to draw out a map, but that basically the bulk of the adventure would be a super-brawl.
 
Circe:  (reading from the weekly news)  "PRIMUS Detective Williams... said Just Cause was instrumental in helping PRIMUS stop the attacks and capture the villain team."
Pops:  Wait, he actually complimented us?  I think you may need to check if that's really him.  Or maybe he's been mind controlled.
 
Another news item is on the upcoming trial of Wight (who is Maker's Hunted and attacked Maker's mother a few adventures back), aka Russian cosmonaut Andrei Vyelov.
 
Circe:  (reading that article)  "Irving Probalino, Vyelov's lawyer, insists that his client is innocent.  'He is just as much the victim here, and I intend to prove that in court.'"
Malarky:  Probalino?  Isn't he that pain-in-the-a** lawyer with all the luck?
Pops:  You guys have run into him before?
Malarky:  Yeah, in a prior campaign. 
GM:  He's a high-priced lawyer who seems to win most of his cases, even against incredible odds.  (pause)  His six dice of Luck helps out a lot, though.
 
(Probalino appeared in a Digital Hero #16, courtesy of Dave Mattingly)
 
The team's PR face, T.J. O'Rourke, passes along a request for a public appearance by the team.
 
TJ:  They mainly want Maker because of her gadgets, but they'd like the other female heroes to attend.  It's part of a statewide program to get girls more interested in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math).  You'll speak at the Noble and Greenough School in Dedham, Massachusetts.
Nexus:  Aw, crap, that's the school my sister attends.
GM:  Gee, I wonder whose DNPC made the roll to appear...
 
The male heroes also plan to attend (expecting a supervillain attack based on my "super-brawl" comment).
 
Circe:  Maker, you can demonstrate various gadgets on Honey Badger.  'Cause Honey Badger don't care.
Honey Badger:  (leers)  What kind of gadgets are you going to use on me?
Maker:  "... and this little beauty can project flames up to fifty feet!"  Woosh!
Honey Badger:  (shrugs)  Eh, I regenerate.
 
Honey Badger:  (to Maker)  Just put on a fancy light show, maybe some holograms, fly your drone around...
Malarky:  Your stolen VIPER flyer bot?  Maybe not a good idea.
Honey Badger:  ...tell the girls that there's better things in life than shopping and fashion.
Circe:  (a rich girl with KS: Fashion)  Hey!!!
 
Contrary to the players' paranoia, the presentation goes without a hitch.  Afterwards, there are photo ops with the heroes doing a meet-and-greet with the students.
 
Teen girl:  (to Circe)  Ooo!  You're my favorite.  You always look great, so collected, and with-it.  Can I get a selfie with you?
Circe:  Sure!  (picture taken)  So, how are you doing?
Girl:  Okay, I guess.  Parents are always pushing me to do stuff.  Speaking of which...  (she pulls a paper out of her purse and hands it to Circe)  You've been served.  (smiles wide)  Thanks for the pic!  You're still my fave!  (flounces off to show her friends the picture)
Circe:  Why didn't the prosecutor just ask me?
GM:  This is from the office of Irving Probalino, Esquire.
Circe:  He wants me to testify?  For the defense?
GM:  Maybe about your visit to Wight at the PRIMUS base.
Circe:  Oh, when I asked him for info about that Carrier Pigeon?
GM:  Just Pigeon, but yeah.  Wight gave you the info that helped you locate Vermin and stop that mutated disease from spreading.
Circe:  Crap.
 
On to the trial.  Maker's mom (Dr. Hu Jenkins) is lined up testify, and wants her daughter to be there as moral support.
 
Maker:  Do I have to? 
Dr. Jenkins:  No, I suppose you don't.  I'll just be there, all alone, by myself.  Don't you worry about me...
Maker:  Since when did my Chinese tiger-mom become a Jewish grandmother?  She should be all, "Yes!  You be there!  I say so!"
 
Again, the heroes expect a fight there and make plans.  However, there won't be one.  Instead, Honey Badger notices that the prosecutor (Doug Carson, who went over HB's testimony the day before and seemed fairly confident and together) seems very out of sorts, stumbling over what he's saying, looking nervous, and making a lot of stupid mistakes.
 
GM:  A few times, while Probalino is cross-examining witnesses, he takes things a bit far, and the judge looks at Carson expecting an objection, but he doesn't.  In one case, even Probalino looks like he's expecting to get smacked down, but Carson doesn't say anything.
Honey Badger:  Maybe he's being mind controlled.  (to Circe)  Can you check his mind?
Circe:  There's psionic scanners in the courtroom, remember?  They'll lock me away.  No thanks.
 
Finally, during the lunch recess outside the courtroom, Circe uses some Telepathy and learns that Carson's wife told him that he'd better allow the defense to win the case or she'll kill their 2 year-old son.  And if he goes to PRIMUS or the heroes, she'll just wait until things cool down, and maybe their son will run into traffic one day.
 
Circe:  (to GM)  Is she being possessed, or Mind Controlled?
GM:  Strangely, Carson doesn't know.  Not being a mentalist and all.  You're reading his mind, not hers.
 
(more to follow)

Plan Comes Together, Part 3
 
The heroes seem incredulous that the villains are calling themselves the A-Team.
 
GM:  Really?  You knew Ankylosaur, Agrippa, and Armadillo were involved.  You researched known associates and found Airstrike, Augur, and Abyss. Plus some actor named Adam radiation powers that Ankylosaur saved from mutant hunters last week.  (lays out the Google Map printouts that had been handed to the players before each encounter)  Every single location they hit was right where streets formed a nice big "A."  Granted, the one at the fire museum was kinda a stylized "A," but still!  The address for the soup kitchen is 87 A Street.  And you didn't see this coming?
 
The heroes act quickly.  They've already pre-evacuated the area, replacing many locals and homeless people with undercover cops.  Nexus uses a gate spell to get the mayor to a safe vehicle quite a ways away, while her teammates search the skies, rooftops, and streets for the villains.  Finally, they spot four Vietnam-era choppers approaching from the north, about 100m up.  (Note that the week's news included an item where somebody stole a pair of Hueys getting prepped for an air show, flew them around for a few hours, and then left them in a field for the state police to find.)
 
Pops:  I could teleport one of you into one of the helicopters to take the controls, and teleport the pilot out.  Maker?
Maker:  I don't know how to fly a helicopter.  Just small space planes.
Pops:  How about one of the PRIMUS agents? 
GM:  Sure.  Master sergeant Ross says he knows how to fly a Huey.  (grins)  So, you're going to teleport Sgt. Ross up there?
Maker:  Wait a minute.  I don't trust that smile.  I'm going to fly up and check them out.
 
She flies closer to discover that all four look exactly the same, down to the rocket pods and the crew manning the miniguns. 
 
Maker:  What, do they have Duplication?
Shadowboxer:  More like holograms. 
GM:  Are you still going to teleport Sgt. Ross up there?
 
Abyss (an alien mentalist scientist studying humans) shows up on a nearby rooftop and hits Pops with a mental illusion.  He sees a truck going out of control, barreling right at him, Malarky, and the squad of PRIMUS agents.
 
Pops:  Sorry, Malarky, you and I are going to have to take our chances.  I'm teleporting the agents to safety.  Somewhere off the street, like... (puts the squad up on the roof about 4m from Abyss) ...right there.
 
One of the heroes sees Augur and Agrippa step out of a building, and then Agrippa casts a shrinking spell and the hero loses sight of him.
 
Nexus:  Wait, I have a spell to do a Mind Scan.  How do I use that to find him?
GM:  You make an attack roll, your OMCV vs. his DMCV, minus modifiers for how many people are in the area.  If you hit, you roll the dice of effect and I compare the results to his EGO.
Nexus rolls, and misses.  CIrce, the team mentalist, finds out Nexus only has a 3 OMCV.
Nexus:  Hey, I said I had the spell.  I didn't say I was good at it.
 
Circe (disguised as a bag lady) begins scanning for Agrippa, but her scan is only 3d6, Cumulative.  Meaning that it's going to take a while.  It also means she has to drop her Mind Link, so the heroes can't instantly communicate with each other.
 
Pops:  So, is Circe planning to help us out any time soon?
 
Nexus is inside the soup kitchen, alone, when Armadillo pops up through the floor.
 
Armadillo:  Hey babe.  Just you and me, eh?  Nothing personal, wouldn't want to hurt that pretty face, but I've got to take you out.  (blasts her, doing a little STUN but nothing major)  I mean, you're only #4 on our hit list, but I'm more than happy to dance with you all on my lonesome.
Nexus:  Number 4?  Who's #1?  The mayor?
Armadillo:  (scoffs)  No, Circe.
Pops:  (OOC)  Sure, because mentalists are evil.
Armadillo:  And then Pops, he's #2.
Pops:  Wait... what?!
GM:  Hush.  You're not there, and without the mind link, you're not privy to any of this.
Nexus and Armadillo trade energy blasts, and Nexus is afraid he's going to take her down.
 
Nexus:  He's in powered armor, right?  Is there any way I can push some buttons, shut him down?
GM:  (looks at Armadillo's Psych Comp:  Sucker for a Pretty Face and thinks about Nexus' 3 levels of Striking Appearance)  Not the buttons you're thinking of, but yeah, you could push his buttons.
 
The villains do some damage to the heroes (taking two of them just a few points shy of unconsciousness), and Agrippa casts Silence on Malarky (effectively nullifying him, since all Malarky's spells require Incantations) and then Dispels his Mass Stone Skin spell.  Meanwhile, the heroes take down Abyss, Ankylosaur, and Augur.
 
Pops:  Circe, have you found Agrippa yet?  'Cause we're about to get our butts kicked.
GM:  What...?!  How?  Half the villains are KO'd, and all of you are still standing!
 
Eventually, Nexus gets outside the soup kitchen and flags down Silver Avenger Melanie Flannagan to tell her Armadillo is inside.  Flannagan discovers Armadillo has gone tunneling again and follows him.  When she catches up to him, instead of attacking she plays him like a harp.  (I couldn't possibly beat you in that big, tough armor, etc.)
 
SA Flannagan:  (Keys her radio microphone, on the assault team's frequency)  Instead of fighting, Armadillo, why don't we go someplace else?  There's a bar just up the street, Williams Tavern.  Why don't you and I go up there, to Williams Tavern.  My assault agents won't even know we're there. We can have a few drinks, get to know each other, just you and I...
Nexus:  (monitoring the frequency)  Really?!
GM:  I said you could push his buttons.  Not my fault you didn't pay attention during the briefing, and she did.
 
Of course, the heroes prevailed, as they are wont to do.  Five A-Team members carted off to the PRIMUS base's holding cells.

Plan Comes Together, Part 2
 
The heroes smell a rat with the reporter, Petersen, always on the scene and hounding them, so Malarky "borrows" Petersen's cell phone (with a teleport assist from Pops). Flipping through Petersen's texts, he discovers that someone has been texting the attack locations and times ahead of time.  With Maker's help, he clones the sim card from Petersen's cell phone.
 
The heroes (along with the Boston PD and PRIMUS) camp out at the firehouse for Engine Company 39, waiting for 3 am to roll around.  Come 1 am, Malarky's clone of Petersen's cell phone gets a text, telling him to be at an intersection about a mile away from Engine 39's firehouse.  The hero team splits up -- one group goes to Petersen's place to mess with his car, while the other group goes to that location, where they discover it is across the street from the Boston Fire Museum, housed in the former firehouse for Engine 39.  They also notice a car parked across the street, with PRIMUS detective Williams inside.  CIrce runs to a nearby coffee shop, then comes back.
 
Circe:  (knocks on Det. Williams' window)  Anything happening?  (holds out a cup of coffee)
Williams:  Not yet.  (takes coffee)  Thanks.  (nods toward the Fire Museum)  So you capes also think it might go down here?
Circe:  Yeah.  Pretty sure.
 
Shadowboxer uses his ability to look and listen through shadows to check out the inside of the fire museum.  Nobody at all inside, but he (eventually) notices that someone has replaced all the real fire extinguishers with fake ones.  Teleporting in, he gets one for Maker to check out, and they learn that the fakes are actually fuel-air bombs with timers set to go off at 3 am.  He also discovers a tunnel into the basement, dug by Armadillo.  In the tunnel he finds a bulk-food can of cream of mushroom soup, a ladle, a pamphlet for a south Boston church, and the now-familiar sticky note.
 
To Do:
Wednesday 3:00 - Hot time at the Fire Museum.  Hope Just Cause brought marshmallows. Thursday 4:00 - Feed Hizzoner and Just Cause their teeth. Discussing what to do with the fuel-air bombs.
 
Maker:  Can I deactivate them?
GM:  Do you have Demolitions skill?
Maker:  Um... no.  Can I maybe use my Gadgeteering roll?
GM:  (evil grin)  Maaaaybe.  Want to make a roll?  After all, what could possibly go wrong?
 
Pops:  We should put 'em in Petersen's trunk.  Or his house.
 
(Eventually they dump them in the river where they can just cause a bunch of gaseous bubbles.)
 
Honey Badger:  So, we turn over the ladle, pamphlet, and note to Williams.
GM:  What about the can of soup?
Honey Badger:  (belches and wipes his lips)  What can of soup?
 
It doesn't take long for the heroes to figure out that the next attack is going to take place at 4 pm during a soup kitchen opening that the mayor is attending as a photo op.
 
GM:  Are you going to coordinate with PRIMUS?
Honey Badger:  It all depends.  Are they bringing soup?
 
Circe calls the team's liaison with the city.
Honey Badger:  (shouting in the background)  Make sure they're bringing soup!  And none of that generic crap!
 
Some of the heroes go into the sewers and discover that someone (*cough*Armadillo*cough*) has dug a bunch of tunnels all over the place under and around the soup kitchen.  Malarky (whose player works for the local water company) makes plans to deal with that.
 
Malarky:  I'll buy an inflatable raft and get it set up near the downstream end of the sewer.  Tie the raft up so when it's inflated, it'll completely block everything flowing through the sewer.  Figure a half hour should be enough to fill the sewer line and Armadillo's tunnels.
 
The mayor and his entourage arrive for the soup kitchen opening.  As soon as the mayor sees Honey Badger, he holds up a large can of tomato soup.
 
Honey Badger:  (thumbs up)!
 
Four o'clock comes, then 4:05.  Then 4:10.
 
Shadowboxer:  Maybe this was all a plot to keep us busy while they hit somewhere else. 
GM:  Or maybe their plan got delayed because somebody filled the tunnels with sewage.
Malarky:  (giggles like a little kid)
 
Finally at 4:15 pm, hidden speakers all over the area kick on, with the sound of martial music and helicopters.  And then the voiceover:
 
Ankylosaur:  In 2014, various supervillains were sent to prison by a federal court for crimes they probably committed.  These men recently escaped from a maximum security superprison to the New York City underground.  Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.  If you have a problem with superheroes, if no one else can help, and if you have enough money, maybe you can hire… The A-Team.  (GM cues playing of the A-Team theme music)
 
(more to follow)

What do you expect from an over grown tick?

A month or so back, I was trying to come up with a new supervillain team for my Boston Champions heroes to face.  Looking through character art, which of course was sorted by name.  Ankylosaur.  Airstrike.  Armadillo.  Hmmm... it occurred to me that I could create an entire team of villains whose names begin with "A."  (Hey, last campaign the PC hero team was known as S-Squad, with all members' names starting with "S.")
 
And thus, The A-Team was born.  Mercenaries to the core, they specialize in taking out or distracting those darn pesky superheroes, as well as PRIMUS, UNTIL, the police, etc. so their client is free to commit crimes.  I decided they'd be a new team, and taking on the PC heroes would be their first public appearance.  (Their coming-out party, as it were.)
 
I designed the adventure to be a series of city-wide property damage attacks by an unknown, unnamed group of villains, to culminate in the attack on the hero group.  The villains left a clue at each attack, hinting at the target for the next attack.  They also passed along the attack location to a reporter (Joshua Petersen) who is not a fan of the heroes, so he could make the PCs look bad if they don't figure out the clue and head off the next attack.
 
First attack was on the A-7 District police headquarters, with Ankylosaur lobbing firebombs at the building before leaping away.  (Side note:  The Google Maps satellite view of the area shows nearby streets forming a very distinctive "A."  This became a feature of all four A-Team attack locations -- and even though I handed out a printed aerial view for each, none of the players caught it.)
 
GM:  John (Honey Badger's player), you're always saying "We go to Paris, France," so when I saw it was on Paris Street, I knew that was the spot.  And it being at 69 Paris Street, well, I knew you'd appreciate that.
 
The heroes go to where Ankylosaur was spotted and find a Revolutionary War-style candle lantern, a cigar stub, and a book of Longfellow's poem, with a sticky-note To-Do list marking the page where Paul Revere's Ride begins:
 
To Do:  
Monday 1:00 - See how hot the Boston Police are. Tuesday 2:00 - Give 'em a history lesson they won't soon forget. Malarky:  (doing some research on his PC)  At 2 am, Paul Revere would have been across the river and to (nearby town).  Maybe they're planning to attack there.
GM:  You guys are giving Ankylosaur waaaay too much credit in the intelligence department.  You're assuming he even read the whole poem.
Nexus:  Does it say 2 am?
GM:  Nope, it just says 2 o'clock.  Neither AM nor PM.  (smiles)
 
They narrow the potential targets to either the Old North Church (where the lanterns were hung for "one if by land, two if by sea") or the Paul Revere House (just a handful of blocks away), and decide to wait at the church.  Two a.m. comes and goes without incident.  They gather again at the church in the afternoon, and right after 2 p.m. hear police reports of "huge stone men" menacing people on the same street as the Paul Revere House.  Actually, it's three men and one woman, all stone elementals summoned by the mage Agrippa.
 
Rocky:  (holding aloft a man)  Where Paul Revere House?
Opal:  (grabbing a man on the street)  Where I find Revere House?
Jaspar:  (grabs a passing limo and begins shaking it, shouting at the driver inside)  Where Jaspar find Revere house?
Stoner:  (hand resting on a man's shoulder like a hundred-pound weight)  Duuuude.  Where's Revere's home?
 
Honey Badger punches Rocky. 
Rocky:  You hit Rocky.  Summoner say now Rocky can hit you!
 
HB takes down Rocky.
Rocky:  (in Stallone voice)  Adriaaaaannn!
 
Malarky (himself a college student) finds himself facing Stoner.
Stoner:  Dude!  Got any munchies?
Malarky:  Munchies? 
Stoner:  Y'know.  Peat gravel.  Quartz chips.  (whispered aside)  I just finished off a dime bag of talc powder, dude!
Malarky:  No, what you want is pizza!
Stoner:  What's pizza?
Malarky:  Food of the gods, man.  Start with a nice flaky crust, something that'll melt in your mouth...
Stoner:  Like limestone?
Malarky:  Sure, if that's what you like.  Then some sauce, nice and hot...
Stoner:  ... lava!  Mmmmmmm!
Malarky:  But the toppings are where it's at!
Stoner:  What are toppings?
(They spent the rest of the fight discussing possible stone pizza toppings, from grated tin and iron spices to granite slices and chopped hematite.)
 
Once the elementals are dealt with, the heroes figure out that they were summoned underground; a roadway tunnel runs just under the street in front of the Paul Revere House.  Teleporting down there, they find an abandoned car blocking traffic; inside is an antique safety lantern, and old fireman's helmet (for Engine 39), with a sticky note:
 
To Do:
Tuesday 2:00 - Won if by land -- literally! Wednesday 3:00 - Don't want firefighters feeling left out, do we? Honey Badger:  (grabbing fireman's helmet and putting it on)  Ooo!  I got a new hat!
 
(More to follow)

The Game: Monster Hunter International
 
The Game Operations Director: My long-suffering friend Mike
 
 

I have been inconsistently referring to my character as a Trollop, thanks to Robert Asprin's "Myth Adventures" series using that word for female Trolls. I looked it up and the words ARE cognate!
 
Titania likes to call herself Fiona after the princess is the movie Shrek, and uses the radio call-sign "Faerie Princess."
 
 

Kylie gave up on trying to stop Titania from calling her "Crocodile."
 
 

Remember the name: Surbrook's Stuff, source of more Hero characters and goodies than you can shake a
 
Stick: (Total: 7 Active Cost, 2 Real Cost) Hand-To-Hand Attack +1d6, Reduced Endurance (0 END; +1/2) (7 Active Points); OAF (-1), Hand-To-Hand Attack (-1/4), Real Weapon (-1/4), STR Minimum 3 (-1/4), Required Hands One-Handed (-0) (Real Cost: 2)
 
at!
 
Titania has taken to calling this character "Copperhead."
 
 

Last session the Game Operations Director finally noticed that under Knowledge Skills I had put "Carnal."
 

Last session the G. O. D. made it clear the name is "DOM" not Don. Copperhead's player and I agreed that we'd start imagining him as Dom DeLouise. Then we had to explain to Crocodile's player who that was. In any case Titania the Trollop always calls him "Big Boomstick." Crococile's player is the one with Clairvoyance, but Titania's nickname for Dom turned out to be precognizant.
 

This (basketball practice with the tank holding the hoop) has since happened. The tank has also actually seen use; we'll get to that.
 
So we end up fighting, and destroying, a giant scorpion that came up out of a tunnel. So we have to go down the tunnel to find out where it came from, if there are more, etc. Copperhead, who is carrying a grenade launcher and has "paintball" grenades (filled with brightly colored powders) opens a couple of them to make red and green arrows(edit: that is, arrow shapes on the ground. He's not turning missiles meant to be launched from a grenade launcher into missiles to be launched from a bow.) to mark tunnels we go down and tunnels we came from.
 
At one point when we hear something coming we all douse lights, switch to night visions goggles, and make Concealment rolls. And it turns out that the night vision goggles themselves give off a green light that makes it impossible to hide in a dark chamber while wearing them. Our choice seems to be either to be blind or to be blindingly obvious. I resolve to buy up Titania's Inventor Skill and work on a solution to this.
 
After a couple of scorpions reduce my Trollop to negatives in STUN and BOD:
Copperhead (OoC): These monsters can one-shot us but we can't one-shot them.
Fiona (OoC): I am starting to think Monster Hunter is designed to just shred player characters.
Remember, Copperhead's carrying a grenade launcher and he's feeling ineffective about the damage he does. Goes to show even the Hero system can be a meat grinder if the monsters outclass the adventurers.
 
Fortunately, Trolls regenerate so I'm in play again shortly.
Fiona (OoC): Troll First Aid is "sit down a minute, you'll feel better soon."
(Repeated several times, it's becoming a catch phrase.)
 
Fiona (OoC): My team mates may hate me for saying this, but if I was stung and took BODy, am I going to be feeling the poiston soon?
 
Game Operations Director: Oh yeah, I forgot. It's a STR Drain. (Rolls 3d6, gets 5) Lose 5 STR.
Fiona (OoC): Lost 5 out of 30? I'll never notice.
I wish he'd rolled that poorly on damage and hit locations against us...
 
One scorpion is smeared with yellow and red substances, probably a clue to where it's been that we haven't figured out yet. Fiona tastes it and determines it's ketchup and mustard. Then cracks open a claw, tries some of the meat with ketchup and mustard - she has an Iron Stomach, Immunity to ingested poisons, pathogens, and noxious substances, on a CON roll. G. O. D. makes me make the CON roll; I fail, but it's not poisonous just noxious, so I declare that giant scorpion does NOT taste like lobster. We still haven't been down all the tunnels so we still don't know how it got condiments on it.
 
Eventually we track the scorpions to their apparent source, where the tunnel came up as a big hole in the floor of a warehouse. First thing we do is get GPS coordinates and call it in, I think that was Crocodile's excellent idea. The place was guarded by two gargoyles. As we're falling back to the hole, hoping they won't pursue beyond the place they are programmed to guard, the Tank comes busting through a wall
Everybody: HEY KOOL AID MAN!
and opens fire with the main gun, shattering a gargoyle. Big Boomstick (Dom Gunn) pops out and grabs the Tank's machine gun and starts damaging the other gargoyle.
G. O. D. :He's using a bigger caliber than anything you've got.
 
Fiona, to Copperhead: See the size of that gun? I know why he's using such a big caliber. He's compensating for something. I've hacked into his account.
Copperhead: He has self-porn?
Fiona: I've read the emails from disappointed women.
 
The second gargoyle actually manages to damage the Tank before it's taken out. Then Fiona runs up to Dom and says
Fiona: Boomstick! You came to help and you brought the self-driving tank!
Another hatch pops and the driver sticks his head out.
Driver: What do you mean, self driving tank?
Fiona points to Big Boomstick: He said it was self-driving!
Driver: I'm driving this tank. (closes hatch)
 
So far this character hasn't been named, but as far as Fiona is concerned, he's Kool Aid Man.
 
Fiona checks out the office, and finds documents and computer (after a Hacking Skill roll) show nothing more recent than four months ago. She picks up the computer tower and carries it to the Rank.
Big Boomstick: You know all we need is the hard drive?
Fiona: Maybe all YOU need is a hard drive.
Copperhead: Yeah, the rec room needs something to play games on.
 
We search the warehouse, finding it mostly full of four month old foodstuffs, so the Trollop is snacking as they go along. Without the uncanny perceptual abilities of "Crocodile" Kylie, we never would have found the false bottom in one of the crates. Secret Security Systems rolls are made for both the redneck and the Trollop to see if there are traps, then Fiona opens it. The other two position themselves a few steps back.
 
Of course there's a fiery explosion - an Energy Killing Attack. Fortunately Trolls do have some Resistant ED. I mark off a couple of BOD that won't Regenerate.
G. O. D. : Don't you have a Vulnerability to Fire?
He's right. I recalculate damage and mark off several points of BOD that won't Regenerate.
Fiona: It burns!
Runs towards the Tank, falls into the hole in the floor, makes Breakfall roll to leap to her feet again and keep running
(remember, this was a tunnel sloping up to the floor; Fiona ran into it from the "back" and thus fell, then easily ran up the slope back to ground level)
Fiona: Hey Kool Aid Man!
bangs on the hatch
Fiona: I need to cool down, where's the Kool Aid?
Kool Aid Man pops out: There's no Kool Aid here.
Fiona: You came busting through the wall like Kool Aid Man but didn't bring the Kool Aid?
Copperhead: That thing doesn't have a Kool Aid dispenser in it?
Crocodile: How soon can I go home? (Meaning back to Australia) Hey Dom, that trap was protecting some kind of case. It's locked.
Big Boomstick: Bring it over here.
They approach, avoiding the hole.
Fiona, to Boomstick: Know what I hate about Humans? You invented fire.
Big Boomstick: We didn't invent fire, the Titans gave it to us. Well, that's if you believe in legends.
Fiona: You're talking to a Troll.
The other two arrive with the case.
Fiona: There aren't going to be any more fiery explosions, are there?
Crocodile: If there are, you'll be the first to know.
Fiona: I'll just wait over on the other side of the Tank.
It was decided to take the case back to base for further investigation.
 
Oh, and at some point regarding the burn injuries:
 
Fiona: That's what Mother Ettindam's Unguent is for. Treating burns is the one kind of first aid Trolls WOULD know.
 
And yes, I have since written up that Trollish secret unguent and if it meets with the approval of the Game Operations Director I'll be using it.
 
Edit: Next time we played, everyone except "Crocodile" Kylie forgot about the case. Which turns out to contain a scroll that no one can read - except Crocodile. Seems we have a potential mage.
 
Copperhead John started making Weaponsmith rolls to try to get some of the beneficial modifications Monster Hunster International allows for fire arms, and was frustrated by repeated failures: until our Game Operations Director remembered we were using Dom Gunn's facilities, which he'd already written up as giving a +6 to such rolls. Now we ALL have bonuses to our boomsticks; my character's light machinegun has a +4 OCV now. Oh, and we're all getting armor piercing ammunition.
 
Copperhead engraved his own personal weapons and wanted to put flowers and the words "Faerie Princess" on mine, but I wanted something else on it.
 
Fiona(holding up the machinegun and addressing it dramatically): I will give you a name. I will call you MINA'S REVENGE!
 
Then I had to explain who that was (the character in the original Dracula story.)
 
Lucius Alexander
 
Correction: Palindromedary Enterprises has received no promotional consideration from Kool Aid. Mother Ettindam provided 128 cases of unguent, but the Game Operations Director confiscated most of them. Surbrook's Stuff provided the character John Lee Pettimore III but the version appearing here has been extensively revised and expanded.

On a related note: Math Theory of Big Game Hunting
 
A physicist was riding with a friend when the driver made a wrong turn. "Relax," said the physicist. "I'm a trained scientist. All we have to do is analyze the relevant data, and I'll have us back on track."
"Okay," said the driver, "Well, first of all we're going 65 miles per hour."
"Oh no!" cried the physicist. "Now we'll never know where we are!"
 
Alexander, The Great General, Had An Infinite Number Of Arms
Alexander was a great general. 
Great generals are forewarned. 
Forewarned is forearmed. 
Now, four is an odd number of arms for a general to have. Four is also an even number. 
And the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. Therefore, Alexander, the great general, had an infinite number of arms.

Though he's left one out there.
 
Enterpreneurs kill everything that might remotely be an elephant before regulations are imposed to prevent such behavior, and then fight furiously to keep the outrageous profits they can get by selling the remains of a species they have rendered extinct.

Along these same lines:
 
How To Hunt An Elephant  (by Occupation and/or Job Title)

An engineer, a mathematician, and an economist were out hunting deer. From their blind, they saw a huge buck. They took aim. The engineer shot to the left, the mathematician shot to the right. The economist shouted, "We got it!"

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician were all watching a house on a stakeout.  The house was quiet until a car pulled up, and two people got out of the car and entered the house.
 
The physicist said, "There are now two people in the house."
 
Several minutes later, three people came out of the house, got into the car, and left.
 
The biologist said, "Good heavens, they're reproducing!"
 
The mathematician said, "Now if we can get one person to come and go into the house, it'll be empty again."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.  The first mathematician orders a beer.  The second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and the fourth orders an eighth of a beer.  Before the fifth mathematician can order, the bartender stops them and pours two beers.  He then says, "Fellas, you should really know your limits."

Did you hear about the guy who died skydiving? He was having so much fun, he thought that opening his parachute would be a drag.

J. just got a hint from the Universe -- "On the label to my teabag it said 'You are what you eat.' In my other hand, I held a bunch of nuts."

And a new one is already UP~!
 
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1001.html