Old Man

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
 
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
 
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
 
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
 
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
 
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
 
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
 
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
 
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
 
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
 
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
 
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
 
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Re: The cranky thread
 
Damn, that means I'll no longer be able to go to bed with your wife five times a week..
 

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 

 
 
Or a sad little japanophile.

Re: The cranky thread
 
And that you will then have the exact opposite problem.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
What am I, a lab rat?

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

 
At first I took this to mean Cancer was grouchy and impersonable. Then I realized it has something to do with making coffee out of beans that have passed through one's GI tract. Does that require a special kind of coffee maker?

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
One advantage of root beer is that it goes so well with ice cream. Do people put ice cream in beer? No. And well they should not, for the Force is my ally, and a powerful ally it is. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. It knows when sleeping you are, and also when awake you happen to be.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
One advantage of root beer is that it goes so well with ice cream. Do people put ice cream in beer? No. And well they should not, for the Force is my ally, and a powerful ally it is. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. It knows when sleeping you are, and also when awake you happen to be.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
One advantage of root beer is that it goes so well with ice cream. Do people put ice cream in beer? No. And well they should not, for the Force is my ally, and a powerful ally it is. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. It knows when sleeping you are, and also when awake you happen to be.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
You may want to stay clear of adding me should a replacement be needed. I would probably through your data way off. I usually only get repped about once every couple weeks, but it is usually the big reppers that do it, so I make huge leaps when it happens. Although it might be an interesting paradyme...

Re: The cranky thread
 

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

 
I'll vote 'exhale' but only because there is no 'laugh out loud' option.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
Thirty-five to go!
 
So who wants to be the one to ascend me? Josh just repped me the other day.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
All things last a lifetime. Their own lifetime.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
From http://www.americanmcgee.com/wordpress/?p=80

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
See, I told you STR was too cheap at 1/1.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

 
Actually I think he would have if given the chance. I once watched a documentary about the guy wherein his mother described how, in his early teens, he developed an obsession with a particular boardgame that was, in her words, "very complicated". Supposedly he only gave it up because he couldn't get anyone besides his mother to play, and there was no way she could beat him at it. From this I infer that he was probably a gamer born at the wrong time.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
See, I told you STR was too cheap at 1/1.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
See, I told you STR was too cheap at 1/1.

Re: "Neat" Pictures
 
Here's a chart that compares the relative sizes of ships and such from various SF series and movies.