mikeward2534

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack / Jonathan Bridges: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Charlie (NPC): a fixer acting on behalf of an unknown employer
Humanis Policlub: a group of human supremacists
 
Association Para Noblis
This was the same adventure previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
Meeting with the fixer:
 
Charlie: "Have you ever heard of the Association Para-Noblis?"
Jonathan Bridges: "They're an elf-poser gang with corporate backing."
Charlie: "The APN has been murdering elves who don't believe in their 'Elven ideal' of skipping through the meadows while playing a fragging lute. My client wants them eliminated."
Jonathan Bridges: "They actually like lute music?"
 
The client wanted the six core members of APN killed, the tips of their (fake, surgically altered) ears cut off, and an envelope left behind in the leader's lap.
 
No-Step: "I'm not happy about doing wetwork, even against the APN."
Audacity Jane: "Don't worry. I'll do the wetwork."
Byte Force: "Let's keep the deaths to a minimum. Dead bodies leave behind living relatives ... and those tend to carry a grudge."
Audacity Jane: "Which may explain who is funding this job."
Happy Jack: "So we pin this on someone else. That way any retaliation is aimed at them, not us."
No-Step: "Humanis Policlub must hate the APN. They'll make the perfect scapegoat."
Eye Spy: "I'm not too fond of Humanis either."
 
The envelope contained a page from a book that the team had stolen on a previous mission. But since the author of the book was a prominent elven power player, Humanis Policlub didn't like him either.
 
Eye Spy: "I just had a horrible thought. What if we actually are working for Humanis?"
Happy Jack: "Then they're paying us to frame them for the crime they're actually responsible for."
 
Planning the strategy.
 
Audacity Jane: "Let's hit them during their weekly meetings."
Dent: "There will be over a hundred of them there at that time."
Audacity Jane: "But almost all of them will be in the same room. We can sneak in through the empty second floor, kill the electricity, then fill the meeting room with smoke and gas grenades."
Byte Force: "Normal humans, in a dark, smoke-filled room. They'll be sitting ... well ... sleeping ducks."
 
Happy Jack: "The client may believe that eliminating the leaders will eliminate the gang, but I have my doubts."
Audacity Jane: "Are we going for 'scorched earth'?"
Happy Jack: "I was thinking more along the lines of 'thoroughly plundered'."
 
The main assault went pretty much as planned. The team broke in through the empty second floor, snuck downstairs, and quietly dispatched a few APN members who weren't in the meeting. Then they killed the power, kicked open the door to the meeting hall, and filled the room with NeuroStun gas and smoke. The hearth spririts added their Confusion power to the normal confusion caused by the assault. Only a few people were still standing after the first blitz. They were quickly dropped by the follow-up.
 
GM: I would suspect that you guys read the module in advance ... except this is a fairly normal plan for you.
No-Step (ooc): Rock, paper, scissors kind of mismatch?
GM: Only two of them could see through the darkness and smoke. Only two of them could safely breath the gas. Nobody could do both.
 
During the raid, the runners found a little girl hiding under a couch. No-Step disguised himself as a human, then went to talk to her. Happy Jack was careful to stay out of the girl's line-of-sight.
 
No-Step: (crouching down to peer under the couch) "Are you okay, dear?"
little girl: "Who are you?"
No-Step: "I'm a Lone Star officer."
little girl: "You don't look like a cop."
No-Step: "That's because we're the SWAT team."
little girl: "Are you hurting the people who live here?"
Happy Jack: (speaking from outside the girl's line of sight)  "No. There's a barghest loose in the building, and we're trying to catch it." (pause) "The barghest is too big to fit under the couch, so you should hide there until it's safe to come out."
little girl: "I'm scared."
Happy Jack: "Just a minute. I have something that can help you."
Jack left for a minute, came back, and rolled a small spray to the little girl under the couch.
Happy Jack: "That's a bottle of barghest repellant. If the barghest comes in here, spray that and it will run away."
No-Step: (whispering to Jack as they left the room) "You didn't give that little girl a can of mace, did you?"
Happy Jack: (whispering back) "Don't be ridiculous. I found a thing of mint breath spray in one of the posers' pockets. I gave that to her."
 
The little girl wanted the team to save The Red Woman, who turned out to be one of the six gang leaders. Dent used Mind Probe on her, as well as on the other gang leaders.
 
Dent: "Nasty. I feel like I've been swimming in filth."
Eye Spy: "Don't you normally enjoy that?"
Dent: "They've been killing elves for the last couple years. Apparently Red is just beginning to question the morality of killing elves in order to 'save' them."
Eye Spy: "She's such a sweetheart. Doesn't that mentality give you a warm fuzzy feeling?"
Audacity Jane: "What kind of psychopath kills people in order to save them?"
Everyone turned and looked at Audacity Jane.
Audacity Jane: "What? I kill people in order to get paid. I don't try to convince myself that it's for their benefit."
 
No-Step: "I don't want the little girl to find a bunch of dead bodies. Particularly not the body of the Red Woman."
Audacity Jane: "No problem. I have practice making dead bodies disappear."
 
In addition, the Mind Probe gave Dent the account number and passcodes to the corporate funds that had been funneled to the APN. Byte Force also drained the gang members' personal credsticks.
 
Dent: "Too bad the money launderer is going to keep most of the money."
Byte Force: "On the bright side, the APN isn't going to keep any of their money."
 
And then there was the little matter of plunder.
 
No-Step: "If it's not nailed down, it's ours."
Happy Jack: "And if I can pry it loose, it's not nailed down."
 
Audacity Jane: "I found the APN's plans for attacking a bunch of high-tech elvish groups."
Happy Jack: "That's valuable. I can sell those plans to the intended targets."
Byte Force: "I doubt the plans are still viable, now that we've stolen all of the APN's weapons."
Audacity Jane: "That just means the APN's enemies will have an easier time when they launch a preemptive strike."
 
The APN leader's body was left on the stage of the meeting room, propped up against the wall. The words "ELF-LOVING PERVERT" were spray-painted above his head. His fake ear-tips were removed. The envelope was left in his lap, as ordered. Prior to the mission, Byte Force found a video of a Humanis Policlub demagogue ranting about elf posers. The video was burned onto a chip, which was left on top of the envelope.
 
When the rank and file members awoke, the other five core members were missing. If anyone wanted to find them they would have to pump the stomachs of a pack of ghouls. Not only was the APN missing many of its major assets, many other assets had been severely vandalized. With any luck, the corporate backer would write the APN off as a loss, rather than expend the funds to rebuild them.
 
In addition to the nuyen drained from the APN's account & credsticks, the plunder included dozens of SMGs, cases of grenades, some rocket launchers, several nice motorcycles and a lot of high-end audio-visual equipment.
 
Dent: "The weapons and grenades will sell really well on the black market, but we're going to get stiffed when we fence the AV equipment."
Happy Jack: "Fence it? We're not selling it. We just got a free home-entertainment system."

Agent K: Support character, Danger Sense, 4d6 Aid, 8d6 blast, Detect Life Forms, good list of disadvantages to make him not rely on the blasts too much. Also has a nice collection of contacts.
 
Rajid: Ex-military sniper. Wears the ear of the first person he took out. Suprisingly didn't take any crazy disadvantages just a hunted. Works good in long range, or close range for the most part. His scope has PSL's for range modifiers, night vision, thermal vision, detect range, etc. He should have no difficulty dropping people from a distance. Decent skills, especially a couple KS and PS that have helped him out. Player used to play a glass cannon that was only good for fights, loving him playing this style though.
 
Agent A: Interrogations/Coversations. High Presence (Campaign limit). New to RPGs, but learning quickly. Decent skill sets.
 
Rachel: The largest skill monkey, with some unique favors, and a computer link to a custom satellite. Also a new player who is picking up quickly. Has a DNPC: Rajid, so normally acts as his spotter. Also is a mental illusionist. Has contacts with Prosecuting Attorneys, Judges, and even a favor built for an Airstrike.
 
Carlos Ramon: NPC I have yet to have to use. Taxi-driver who can't pass up pinball machines. He literally has a power I found from Hero System Super Skills somewhere that is for pinball machines. A martial-artist with a decent gun, and ironically the only character with any combat driving for something in near future Manhattan.
 
Had this group of players literally waltz into the big bad's main lieutenants base, where they were outnumbered 14:4. They proceed to roll an amazing presence attack and convince the people in the room to surrender. Then they decide to grab the LT.'s radio and use Mimicry to tell the guards to leave their posts that cops were on the way. (somewhat true, as they also called the police in and police were en-route.) They succeed. Somehow a fight that I was planning on being tough for them (most enemies were well suited for neutralizing most advantages the team regularly deployed.), managed to be entirely circumvented in 3 rolls.
 
Players are planning on hitting a gangs base (the one in the preceding paragraph). Don't inform their bosses (the police and FBI), instead start trying to figure out a way to get in and get everyone. Half the players are honorable, have a CvK, or have a duty to protect the innocent. Never the less first two plans are:
1) Have the player with the Presidential Contact ask for a carpet bombing of the warehouse area in Manhattan where the gang is.
2) Have the other player who has an airstrike built into a favor, use said favor to level the area.
 
Later the players decide on a slightly better plan; the players are disguised as the robbers who went after the bank.
 
Guard: Where is Joe? Didn't he drive you?
Agent A: He did, but we had a run in with the cops. He caught a bullet in the fire fight. Cops got him.
Player rolls conversation with some penalties, and fails horribly. The players ask me how quick the need to drop the guys before people are alerted. I said they had till the enemies phase.
Rajid: I'm going to shoot the guy 2m from me.
Rolls and barely hits, then rolls the 7 Stun 1 body
Rajid: Apparently I just tapped him with my gun instead.
Agent K: I thought you were supposed to be a SNIPER.
 
Later on right about the end of the session.
 
Agent K. makes a danger sense roll.
GM: You get the feel an impending danger for Rajid.
Agent K. With my detect lifeforce can't I detect where frome?
GM: Your in a van going down the highways, you detect people all over. (He can tell where an alive person is not thier disposition or anything.) Roll your perception though.
Agent K: By 5.
GM: You notice a blacked out Humvee speeding up towards you.
Agent K: I want to take all 5 charges of my 8d6 small AOE blast with a trigger and stick them onto a brick.
GM: Ok. (Roll and see that there is a brick in the van). That will work. Now what?
Agent K: I open the door of the van and throw it in their window. Assuming I make it I will blow it up while blowing them a kiss.
 
Rolls and succeeds...
 
Needless to say yet again my players circumvented two battles I had planned on being difficult with no problems. They have yet to get shot at in the three battles they were in thus far. At least they are playing their characters well, even the two beginners, and my third campaign is going well. It's all been fun, which is the most important part.
 
EDIT: Added description of the players, and fixed the name I remembered now.

In brief: Author Rene' Heller notes that Earth's habitability -- measured by actual quantity of life -- has varied widely over time. During the Carboniferous, Earth's biomass was probably larger than it is now, what with our large desert areas, the near-lifeless middle of the oceans, etc.
 
More importantly, habitability should be summed over time. Earth's period as a life-bearing planet is almost over, geologically speaking: As the Sun gets brighter and hotter with age, the "Goldilocks Zone" moves outward. Current estimates place Earth at its inner edge. Within the next billion years or so, the oceans evaporate.
 
Earth also faces some geological exhaustion-points. The magnetic field that protects the atmosphere, and the plate tectonics that keeps carbon cycling between atmosphere and lithosphere, are driven by a combination of relic heat from the Earth's formation and heat from radioacive decay. The supply of radioactive elements inexorably declines. In a billion years or so, internal heat drops to the point that both processes stop. CO2 builds up in the atmosphere, unless the atmosphere gets blown away by the solar wind. Bad either way.
 
Heller suggests that a larger planet would sustain its geological processes longer, through its larger supply of radioactives and greater heat of formation; while a K dwarf star would heat more slowly, leaving the planet within its Goldilocks Zone many billions of years longer. He estimates that a planet twice Earth's mass, orbiting a K dwarf star, could remain habitable for many billions of years longer than Earth. <oreover, the higher gravity could mean a flatter topography, with fewer high, expansive continents to develop deserts and more life-rich archipelagos.
 
I see potential problems with Heller's arguments (notably, an article I read several years ago that a planet significantly larger than Earth can't have a liquid core -- the greater pressure keeps it solid, even if it's hotter). But it's an interesting alternate view of habitability, and a healthy counterpoint to the "Rare Earth" school that says even the slightest difference from Earth would make complex life impossible. I think one should hesitate to be too certain, in any direction, until we have more than one example of a life-bearing planet to study -- and as a gamer, I prefer to err on the side of possibility!
 
Dean Shomshak

So I bought Monster Hunter International for my friend Mike. While we were going over it, I noticed that Trolls have Distinctive Features described as "Easily Concealable."
 
Lucius: How?! (pointing to the page with the silhouettes of humanoids from Gnome up to Troll) No, an 8 ft tall Troll can't just go around pretending to just be a basketball player!
 
Mike: Aww, why not?
 
Lucius: Alright then, I'll play a Troll basketball player!
 
And it snowballed from there, so now I'm playing a young Trollop (so as to tone down some of the standard Troll's physical abilities - both because I wanted SOME points left to spend elsewhere, and because things like 4 or 5 levels of Damage Negation are a bit much.)
 
Talking to the other players, I've remarked "He wants to set the game in Washington DC. I guess he figures the city is crawling with monsters." Cue political jokes and remarks about the bloodsuckers at the IRS....
 
So far the characters are
 
Titania "Call Me Fiona" Melungeon, my character, a basketball playing  computer hacking female Troll
 
Kylie "Don't call me Crocodile Dundee!," a young woman from Australia here on the Monster Hunter's Exchange Program, with a boomerang enchanted by an Aboriginal shaman as thanks for saving some of the tribe's children from were-dingoes. 
 
John Lee Pettimore III, the hillbilly army veteran from the song "Copperhead Road" who inherited the family business of moonshining and branched out into more profitable prohibited substances. We took the write up from Surbrook's Stuff and expanded it.
 
 
Part of Titania's background is having been held captive as the "pet" of a pack of vampires, until rescued by a group of Monster Hunters who decided not to kill her too when she showed herself very enthusiastic about helping take down the bloodsuckers.
"Yeah, I loved being a princess rescued from terrible monsters by brave knights. When we were done with the vampires I offered a kiss to every one of those hunters. Even the chick. But being a princess held captive by a monster SUCKS. I don't wanna wait around to be rescued again, I wanna be the knight!"
 
So far, my best quotes are the stuff I put on the character sheet
 
List: "I am A Fantastic Princess Passing for Mundane"
1 1) "People WANT to believe everything they see fits into the world that's real to them.": Disguise 13-, Persistent (+¼) (6 Active Points); Limited Power Self only (-1), Limited Power Not vs Monsters, Hunters, or people who know that Monsters Exist. (-1), Side Effects, Side Effect occurs automatically whenever Power is used (Cannot use full STR; -½), Limited Power Only to pass for Human (-½)
Notes: "Seriously, if the thought crosses someone's mind 'that woman is a monster' then they see me acting all normal, they just dismiss that foolishness from their minds. In other words, people are idiots."
2 2) "Somtetimes it's hard to fit in. I mean, literally.": Contortionist 10-
1 3) "Who me?": Acting 12- (3 Active Points); Limited Power Only to act harmless and inconsequential (-1)
2 4) "Yeah, right. What are ya sayin', I'm from outerspace?": Persuasion 12- (3 Active Points); Side Effects, Side Effect occurs automatically whenever Power is used (Sarcasm; -½)
Notes: Can convince people what she's saying (or sarcastically implying) is true, but is so abrasive about it that they are alienated and repelled.
2 5) "Trolls have a tough hide that's tough to hide.": Concealment 10-
 
List:"Building bridges, forging iron weapons, using computers - Trolls have always been ahead technologically but never get credit for it."
3 1) "I'm installing Cinematic OS": Computer Programming 12-
3 2) "You wouldn't believe what I can do".: Power: Hacking 12-
3 3) "The walls have ears. My ears.": Bugging 12-
3 4) "Decode this: You have an eye dee ten tee error.": Cryptography 12-
3 5) "Hardware problem. Gimme a minute.": Electronics 12-
1 6) "How'd I get them to tell me? It's called social engineering. Also, people are idiots.": Conversation 12- (3 Active Points); Conditional Power Only online; not face to face (-1 ½)
 
List Athlete[/b]
2 2) "Yeah, yeah, I got a head start, very funny little man.": Climbing 10-
 
 
But I have had one actual in game quote I thought worth sharing.
 
Titania: (OOC) I get on the radio and report in. (BIC)"Calling Big Boomstick, this is Fairy Princess calling Big Boomstick. We have encountered a minimum of five, repeat, five, Giant Australian Hunting spiders. Three down and bagged, two fleeing north, we are in pursuit."
Mike, nonplussed: Your call sign is Fairie Princess??
 
 
Lucius Alexander
 
The palindromedary notes that Titania (or Fiona) is assuming the giant spiders are from Australia because 1) everyone knows Australia is crawling with aggressive venomous creatures, and 2) they showed up right after Kylie did as if they had come in on the same plane. Probably stowing away in the luggage.
edit: I was the only one to miss they Knowledge Skill: Monsters roll, so I made up what Fiona (or Titania) thought she knew about them

Actually, I'm playing Jrska and Felix (and Vitus and Lamech) and Weldun is playing Cassius and Inkubus. I try not to let myself get typecast. If I was going to play another character in Black Crusade instead of GMing for a while, it was going to be a sarcastic, intense, whipcord-thin Nurglite assassin

Gotta love Shadowrun; those are some great quotes.
 
Tonight was the 2nd episode of my latest Terracide campaign, Salvaging Hope: Part 1 - Omicron Uprising. I'll try to post some more quotes next week, but here's the best one from this session:
 
The crew of the interstellar salvage vessel Coprolite (the PCs) are preparing to infiltrate the Solar Express Corporation fast clipper Sovereign, a massive luxury liner, with the intention of hijacking it. A former Sovereign crew member, Talitha Borealis, is offering to help them, claiming to have knowledge of the ship's layout and security. 
 
First Officer Rene Damphousse: "Are you sure you know your way around the Sovereign?"
 
Talitha Borealis: "If I tell you there's a hot tub full of queso on that ship, pack a bikini and some chips."

Why do I get the feeling that Inkubis and Jrska have the same player?
 
But ditto on enjoying the posts.
 
I'm still trying to convince my group to at least try a Cyber-HERO or Urban Fantasy game.
 
Not that I have the terrain or minis for it. *sigh*

These stories almost make ME want to riot, and I'm a white out of shape guy in his forties

I love these guys

D&D 5th Ed. - PCs are Lamech Judocus, a stoned gnome wild sorceror, Urlon and Elethndia (Elf and dragonkin ex-soldiers), hired to escort mining camp supplies, and distracted by a goblin attack on the wagon that had preceded us.

Having tracked down the surviving goblin, and interrogated him, Urlon debates what to do next. Apparently the dwarf back at the road was kidnapped because of some map he had, and the human with him carted off for food. What now? He promised to spare the goblin's wretched life, but if he leaves him here and heads back to fetch the others, the goblin could just run off and warn the lair of our approach. So he gags the goblin and ties him to a tree trunk four feet off the ground.

Urlon: If i get out alive, you do.

The approach to the cave in question has thick briar thickets to either side.

Lamech: You know... if I was a goblin I'd have guards in those thickets watching the approach
ALL: *turn to stare suspiciously at the shrubbery, but we all fail the Spot Check*
GM: No tar babies, goblin faces, Br'er Rabbits...

As it happens the goblins must have been too busy jerking off or something, since they completely fail to notice us strolling up to look closer. The subsequent carnage over, we wonder how we're going to protect the NPC cleric, who will prove to be the only thing that gets us out alive.

Lamech: If we find enough goblins in there we can strap them to him and he can use THEM for armour.
GM: Live kobold armour - aargh!!
Urlon: Done that.

Lamech probably doesn't have the right skill set for dungeoneering.

Lamech: You two are the survival experts here - the only wilderness skill I have is 'If I eat that mushroom, will I get high?'

He also has a somewhat impractical spell list.

Lamech: Continual Light? Why? Enough special 'shrooms and everything is covered in lights anyway.

The first chamber inside the cave has huge chained up dogs. They look at Lamech the gnome with some interest.

Dogs: [Chew toy?]

The goblins spot us coming and start their emergency plan - knocking down the weir they've built to contain the cave's central stream, and thus flood us out of the cave.

Lamech: It's Peter Weir and they're refilming The Last Wave

The cleric throws Lamech to an upper level, which spares him from the flood anyway.

Lamech: Bonus - they're drown their own dogs.

Lamech and one of the goblins run into each each other in the tunnel. Unfortunately for the goblin, Lamech was already holding his dagger out in front of him. They exchange horrified looks. Then, for want of anything better coming to mind, the gnome stabs him again.

Lamech: Gnome uses Stab! It's Super Effective!

The goblin leader, cornered, holds one of the missing people at the edge of a cliff and threatens to push him off. The dragonborn charges anyway, the hostage gets pushed, and the goblin jumps off afterwards to use the soft landing. Lamech manages to negotiate a truth - we take the hostage, and the surviving goblins grab everything they can carry and run off in the other direction.

Elethndia: You alright down there?
Hostage: *groans something incoherent that probably translate as 'No, you unbelievable bastard'

The goblins point us in the direction of THEIR boss, a bugbear who apparently knows why the dwarf was kidnapped, and why this unknown king wanted him and the map.

GM: You seen something hairy and incredibly ugly at the other end of the bridge - and it's not your mother-in-law.

Alas, the bugbear fights to the death - looks like we'll have to chase up more clues in town.

Shadowrun 2050 - Characters include

Inkubus: Elven party animal and metal mage
Felix 'Bubbles' Bethke: Formerly an Aztech security mage, put on permanent leave for no reason he can figure out
Samantha 'Greenlight': Teenager whose entire family was kidnapped by Renraku corp.
Titus: Troll - party accountant and juggernaut
Labrat: Ork vehicle and demolitions expert
Warhammer: Dwarven sniper and merc

The Soft-eyed Man: The Renraku operative behind the kidnappings.
Kitty: Greenlight's fixer
Wormwood: Greenlight's mentor when she first found herself alone on Seattle's streets.
Jake: Greenlight's little brother - also one of an unknown number of experimental clones, at least some of whom have biochipped memories.
After wiping out five squads of Renraku Red Samurai and two helicopters, it is becoming evident that the megacorporation doesn't like us. .

Inkubus: I however would like to thank them for their continued contributions to my retirement fund.
Titus: I'm pretty sure they like us, they keep sending us more stuff to sell.

Although it does leave us in possession of more collectibles, although the fact they're still on fire and underneath a burning helicopter is a problem

Felix: Let's congratulate the auction winners on their purchase of increasingly rare intact Red Samurai armour.
Greenlight: Hey, Miss Kitty, I want to organise another auction - more Red Samurai stuff, slightly burned.
Felix: 'Fire Sale'

Titus: How many of the bodies can we throw into the back of the truck?
Inkubus: All of them.
Greenlight: If necessary we will strap them to the roof like deer.

Greenlight's player: *struggles to open jar of salsa*
Titus' player: Troll?
Greenlight's player: Troll. *passes jar*
Titus' player: *opens jar without difficulty*
Greenlight's player: I want to be a man too!

Labrat: I say we escalate
Greenlight: *playing with red samurai corpses like they're ventriloquists dummies* Hooo! You besmirch my honour!
Labrat: We are going to f**k up Renraku
Greenlight: SCANDALOUS!

Titus: You decapitated one with a stun baton!
Greenlight: Red Samurai helmets are awesome! Pity about the neck part.

Labrat suggests a row of Red Samurai heads on pikes in front of their corporate HQ, with broken katanas and a little sign saying "Red Burakumin"

Labrat: Untouchables. Lowest of the Low.

And, of course, inform Renraku's media rivals beforehand so they can film it. With any luck we can make the exec responsible commit Seppuku.

One of the Samurai's commlinks blinks. It's the guy that kidnapped Greenlight's family.

The Soft-eyed Man: Well? Did you get them?
Greenlight:.... Hi.
The Soft-eyed Man: ... you f**kers.
Greenlight: No. *takes off bandana* I'm THAT Fucker.
The Soft-eyed Man: Oh. Well.
Greenlight: I'm coming for you.
The Soft-eyed Man: Actually, I'd like to extend you an invitation. *signs off and texts coordinates*
Labrat: You realise this is a trap, right?
Greenlight: .... Yes it's a trap! I don't need a giant fishman to come up and say 'it's a trap!'

The coordinates are for a decommissioned oil-rig.

Felix: Boat again!
Inkubus: We already win
Felix: Well, we could really surprise them and hijack a sub.

Inkubus: They'll be locked up tighter than a nuns arsehole.
Felix: Speaking from experience, are you?
Inkubus: Well, if you have the right lubricant...
Titus: I did not need to know that.

Our ninja specialist starts prepping for a stealth insertion at night - infra-red goggles, etc.

Greenlight: I almost feel like Sam Fisher now, all I lack is the children and the gravelly voice.
GM: You have the children.
Greenlight: Oh shit I do!

Titus: It'll cost half a million to cover my armour in Diamond-Kote
Greenlight: Pimp my Troll!

Titus: I say we just blow the place up.
Labrat: I can do that.
GM: Goddammit.

Greenlight gets another message - it's 'Hoping for a family reunion' and photo of Greenlight's brother. With him the age he should be. It might be the original. Still, rigging the platform with C12 is a good idea - Labrat knows SCUBA. Of course, there are bound to be complications.

Greenlight: We're not leaving him in the water around a Renraku oil-rig! Can you say 'cybersharks?'
Inkubus: These ones WILL have fricking lasers.

Or paracritters, such as the ridiculous-looking but utterly lethal sea-wolves. On the other hand, with the assistance of Felix's water spirit, Labrat and Titus can park 20 miles away, zoom in and out, and only need the rebreather gear and dry suits just in case. Inkubus' summonings might be impossible, if the necessary conditions - such as fire - aren't available.

Titus: If Warhammer is around, you are always in a place with fire. Or that will be on fire shortly.

Inkubus stirs up the Seattle glitterati to start a flash mob in front of Renraku - with the rest of us utilising our street cred and 100K from the petty cash fund, we can get half of the city to show up. And likely a couple of dragons, who are probably wondering where all the humans are going.

Titus: Dunkelzahn shows up in full 70s disco outfit.

And when the heads on spikes get revealed at midnight, they'll see we used the same font they use for 'Red Samurai'.

GM: Most of the crowd will assume they're art installations, but Renraku will get the message.
Inkubus: Well, they ARE art installations.

And rival corp Fuchi will be there to film the lot - and Inkubus' shiteating grin - and make sure it appears on Japanese TV.

And when the reveal happens, and Renraku security is 'distracted' the rest of us will be paying a little visit to the Renraku airbase just outside town, and stealing all their choppers, flying them over the border, and hiding them.

GM: Are you going to blame this on an ecoterrorism group?
Labrat: It's an option.
GM: Oh shit, you're going to blow up an oil-rig. Of COURSE you are.

Greenlight calls his mentor, Wormwood. Who by a lovely coincidence is a Rigger.

Greenlight: It's time.

Felix takes advantage of the effects on Renraku's stock value, and gives his grandfather at Aztechnology the heads-up too. Even though Lone Star security shows up, they're not going to interfere in a raucous and non-violent street party of 50,000 people - ESPECIALLY since they're in direct competition with the Red Samurai for Asian security contracts.

Labrat: This is turning into a perfect storm of bad publicity for Renraku.

Renraku: Ok, which executive is responsible for this? Which executive just violated first tenet of corporate culture - 'Vendettas are not profitable'?

Plus, of course, we have a combat chopper, transport chopper, and drone-launching chopper, under camo-nets over the border.

Labrat: Are there any spirits guarding the oil platform?
GM: Surprisingly, no.
Felix: Well, you may have killed all their wizards when you wiped out all those Red Samurai at the auction.
Inkubus: Or the Astral Resources department at Renraku isn't talking to that exec anymore.
Titus: They're contemplating jinxing him bald. Or impotent. There's discussions.

Felix's own drone runs surveillance over the oil rig.

Titus: Now I'm picturing us scrawling 'Don't mind me, I'm an albatross' under the wings.

And with an air spirit making our boat invisible, hopefully whoever is on the oil rig won't know how badly they've fucked up until too late. But the Soft-eyed Man is looking surprisingly undiscombobulated when we spot him waiting for us on one of the gantries.

Titus: Maybe he hasn't been watching the news.

Felix does get some criticism for not bringing any weapons more formidable than a light pistol with gel rounds.

Felix: If you REALLY want to kill people I'll just push them off the gantries into the North Pacific, OK?

The Soft-eyed Man speaks to us over the PA - although we have no idea if he can see us, or even if he ACTUALLY knows we're there. Apparently he's arranged dinner in the rig's dining hall. We take our time getting rid of the guards first.

Inkubus: The thing I love about this party is we can legitimately say 'Mess with us and we'll sic Bubbles on you'
Titus: 'He took out a dragon once'
Inkubus: 'And where is he now?' 'Picking out a new dinner set'

Unfortunately, it's not until we've already killed a dozen of them that we notice they're all the same build, and take off their helmets. The Soft-eyed Man wasn't joking about 'family reunion' - we've just murdered a dozen clones of Greenlight's brother. Greenlight manages to maintain her composure, at least externally, but now we have to switch to non-lethal attacks. The Soft-eyed Man is apparently alone in the dining hall - we've already killed all the clone stormtroopers little brothers. Whoops

Greenlight: I have something to thank you for.
The Soft-eyed Man: Oh?
Greenlight: You taught me how to survive.

And during this whole speech Inkubus is invisibly loading a duffle-bag with the booze from the bar.

Greenlight: I'm going to give you 30 seconds to explain yourself before I kill you and throw your body overboard.

The Soft-eyed Man explains the whole deal with the kidnapping, cloning, stem-cell and biochip experimentation, and shifts blame to HIS boss. And THEN Inkubus reveals himself and Mind Probes the man. Apparently Greenlight's brother Jack is on the rig. And is his own security. And is a hulking black void in the Astral. And that the Soft-eyed Man is a biological telepresence - biochipped and remote-controlled.

The Soft-eyed Man: Did you honestly believe I'm HERE?
Greenlight: You're right, that was silly of me - STAB

Jack is a horrific example of somebody cybernetically altered into something more resembling combat drone than human. But he still has a human face in the middle of the machinery. Also, a rotary cannon. Labrat empties a clip into it, which does little more than stagger it.

All: Oh Fuck.
Greenlight: *with Commanding Voice* Jack! Stop!

Despite all the rewiring, the cyberzombie is actually given pause by his own sister telling him to calm his tits.

Jack: .... S-s-s-AM? I Cc--cc-ant STOP. RuN! *opens fire*
Inkubus OoC: Wait, it's attacking Greenlight in Hand-to-Hand? Great! 'Not only can I parry that, I can attack you, AND disarm you.'
Titus: Just don't parry his head off.

And Greenlight indeed manages to take her brother down. And asks for Labrat's knife.

Labrat: I'll do it if you want.
Greenlight: I need to do this myself.

But out of extra spite Jack's remains come with a 60-second countdown. We flee, and Labrat sets off his own bombs first. Which we learn later disables the small nuke Renraku set up.

Labrat: Nuclear bombs are one of the few WMDs that can be disabled by a guy with a small hammer.

Which further means Renraku is going to be in VERY deep shit when the authorities investigate the merely horrendous explosion Labrat prepared in advance.

Greenlight: Gentlemen, let me remind you - Renraku has been having a very bad day.

Felix: And the conspiracy boards are going to go nuts trying to figure out what they did with those three missing choppers.

And, of course, the various dead clones floating around. Inkubus, however, injects himself with a memory-wiping drug.

Inkubus: I don't want to remember cyberzombies. Or what I saw in that mans' brain.

Inkubus collapses.

Greenlight: I didn't expect you for a one-pump kind of guy! Ha-ha! F**k, he's unconscious.

Greenlight goes home and checks on the young Jack clone she's been living with for over a year now.

Greenlight: Hey Jack, sorry to wake you up. Can I get a hug?

Then goes to sit in the shower all night.


 

The Kasserkratch! The notorious grand cruiser and monument to the Ruinous Powers, lost for centuries despite any number of efforts to locate and claim it. We've found it, now all we have to do is seize it. Easy, right? The way our starfort Promise of War can find its own way through the Warp, even without a Navigator, is still a little disturbing.

Cassius: This station worries me.

The system is a nearly bare red dwarf with one barely habitable rock, and a gas giant out in the Kuiper Belt.

Jrska: No innocent populations to pervert - Boooo!

There are, however, an unknown number of smaller ships nosing around waiting for the Kasserkratch to surface from the Warp. So far, they're avoiding us. It's a pity the Promise of War hasn't finished growing all it's new daemonic improvements - those harpoons would have been handy to keep us attached to the barely-ticking over derelict. Cassius casts the auguries, reading the necessary entrails.

Aladar: He has a steady supply of chickens.
Cassius: Chickens?
Jrska: Crew members.
Cassius: Whichever ones are under-performing the most. It's good for crew morale.

Aladar brings our smaller ship, the frigate Chains of Judgement, up alongside the grand cruiser, then surrenders control to the lesser bridge crew.

Cog: And the crew offer a prayer of thanks to whatever gods they believe in, that Aladar is no longer in the pilot's seat.

The Kasserkratch's deliberately confusing internal architecture is not going to be very useful for us at this point.

Joanna: It's designed to ensure boarding parties get lost and separated.
Cog: Oh, great. Guess what we count as.

Despite the ominous rumours, we go aboard already divided into three groups. No doubt we will regret this. Jrska, Joanna, their Kingfisher girls and Sisters of Pain, and Jrska's pet Daemonhost and pet moron Aladar are in one group. Cassius goes in with his Thousand Sons Rubric Marine and a complement of mutants. Cog goes in with the insane dreadnought, which should be enough to deal with anything. And we make sure to take plenty of comm-unit relays, balls of string, luminous paint sticks, and anything else that should help us not get lost, or cut open walls if we do.

Jrska: You know, I'm sure all these precautions have occurred to the other teams that have gone in here over the centuries - and it didn't do THEM any good.

Cassius: The problem isn't the gun, Aladar, it's you. You keep forgetting you have a big *long-range* gun.

Jrska: What orders do we give the crew if we're not back in 10 hours?
Cassius: If we're not back in 10 hours, us being missing is not the biggest problem. And the sealed orders will be 'HahahaHAhaHA - I'm not even sorry'

And things go awry almost immediately - Cassius' boarding compartment opens and he and the mutants get blown out into vacuum. That probably explains one of the more opaque warnings he got in his augury. He's untroubled by the lack of air, but the mutants are lost to the Void for now. And the Kasserkratch isn't visible through the hole.

Cassius: Aladar, I need to have a word with you about your parking skills. Nine kilometres of cruiser does not just disappear!

Jrska: Aladar, sweety, darling, why is the bridge telling me the Kasserkratch is where it always was? Ten thousand kilometres away?
Aladar: What??? You heard the hulls scraping together!
Jrska: I know. I want you to explain this discrepancy. Then explain it to our Lord Cassius.

There's archeotech that can confuse boarding attempts like this, but it's no doubt something even more diabolical. And the Kasserkratch is now showing damage it didn't have before.

Jrska: It was lost in the Warp, my lord - perhaps it is also unbound in time?

Cassius decides to let Aladar do something stupid, as opposed to the usual and Aladar doing something stupid of his own initiative. We fire up the Chain's engines and ram the derelict! The Chains shudders, bucks, and consoles explode all over the bridge as we throw ourselves about dramatically.

Cog: There's nothing explosive in that console! Nothing!
Aladar: And why did that wooden table explode?

Despite the obvious collision, the sensors still insist the Kasserkratch is thousands of kilometres away.

Aladar: I walk out the airlock.
Cassius: No need - this time it's not your fault.

The Kasserkratch isn't visible to our eyes, either - and there is no apparent damage to OUR ship either. Jrska suggests we just ask for permission to come aboard - she is the party diplomancer after all - but Cassius wants to trying getting the Kasserkratch between us and our Starfort and see if we can push all three together. And the damage on the Kasserkratch is now even closer to what the legends describe. Aladar wants someone to monitor the collision from outside. This is a bad idea - not even magboots would save your bones, if you were stupid enough to be standing on the hull - and there's also the problem of shrapnel.

Joanna: I'll happily ram the ships together if Aladar's standing on the prow.

At least the latest attempt exhausts any remaining power on the derelict - although it's suffering rather a lot of repeated ramming damage. Whoops. We've now made it match the legends. Jrska 'helpfully' prepares Joanna for a jump-pack jump across the vacuum - binding her wings down.

GM: You realise that'll hurt right? What with the jet-pack exhausts?
Jrska: Slaneesh cultists.
Cassius: The agony is a bonus.
Joanna: I look forward to the exquisite pain.

We attempt a second boarding. This time the Kasserkratch is actually there.

Cassius: Now we find out if life support is online.
Jrska: It may have been up until a few minutes ago.

We're promptly attacked by swarms of warp-tainted motes.

Jrska: We're being attacked by daemonic dust-bunnies?
Cassius: Nobody say 'Hey! Who turned out the lights? Hey! Who turned out the lights?'

The dreadnought opts not to unleash its flamethrower.

Dreadnought: The Master will be annoyed if I incinerate his minions.

Cassius, unwisely, uses Wind of Chaos, and nearly kills his own minions anyway. Just as well Cassius gave Jrska that Conversion Field ages ago. Jrska takes hold of either end of her daemonwhip and skips rope into the Netherswarm, shredding a large number of the minor entities.

Aladar: Cassius, do I need to worry about backstop?
Cassius: No!
Aladar: *fires Big Bertha*
Jrska: That's LORD Cassius, sweety.
Cassius: No, no, he's fine - I love that gun.

Admittedly, Cassius was in that direction at the time, so perhaps the shine has come off the honeymoon.

Cassius: *starts to chuckle evilly* I have a plan - it might even gain me favour with Tzeentch.
Cog: The 'I have a plan' is the scariest part of that.

Joanna: Permission to use my flamer, Lord!
Cassius: Go ahead - it's lascannons using me as backstop that I have a problem with.

Cog: Logic tells me there is no-one above me.
Cassius: ... eehhh. LOGIC tells you. Logic is just a way to be wrong with certainty.

Cog warms up his new Tzeentch-given lobes and opens a psychic vortex - which sucks Jrska up off the floor and halfway towards the rip in reality. This fails to amuse her. Joanna has it worse as the Netherswarm flows through her armour and tears strips of muscle off her torso - she's incapacitated by the pleasure of it. Aladar gets much the same, and since the silly boy switched his allegiance to Tzeentch he doesn't even get any enjoyment out of it. Jrska is irked by this as well, since her Conversion Field insulated her from this new sensation. And she's sucked even further into the air.

Cog: I can see right up her - oh wait, she doesn't wear underwear.

And then, even worse, Cassius critically botches his psychic perils check, and the Deamon Prince is banished into the Warp. For centuries.

GM: Every time he gets taken out it's by his own means!

Jrska OoC: I'm unlikely to live long enough to see you come back - I am mortal, after all.
Cassius OoC: Unless you become a Daemon Prince.
Jrska OoC: If I become a Daemon Prince who cares what happened to you? At least with you gone it's a good opportunity to seduce the others back to the worship of the One True God and Prince of Pleasure

And thanks to the mind link Cassius was maintaining at the time, the rest of us all get experience the transition up close and personal as Cassius' soul is turned inside out.

Jrska: Oooh, neat!

And because we never did the Ritual of Conjoined Fates, there's NO way the rest of us can bring him back sooner. This is starting to look like a Total Party Kill - no wonder nobody has ever come back from the Kasserkratch before - it's swarming with Vashta Nerada. On the other hand Jrska's double-Dutch skills are pretty lethal.

But we make it back to the Chains, and even we return with flamers to clear out the Netherswarm at this point we're going to have to put the campaign on hold - with Cassius lost in the Warp, his Crusade is going to need a major rethink, even with the rest of us to continue with The Plan. It would appear our GM will be taking a break to actually play, and I'll be running a Black Crusade campaign for a while as we give the existing characters a rest.

Jrska: The Kasserkratch will be reborn in fire. Lord Cassius will return. And he wants you prepare for his return. He's been sending you dreams.
Cog: About ponies. And apocalypse, but mostly ponies.

Agent K: Support character, Danger Sense, 4d6 Aid, 8d6 blast, Detect Life Forms, good list of disadvantages to make him not rely on the blasts too much. Also has a nice collection of contacts.
 
Rajid: Ex-military sniper. Wears the ear of the first person he took out. Suprisingly didn't take any crazy disadvantages just a hunted. Works good in long range, or close range for the most part. His scope has PSL's for range modifiers, night vision, thermal vision, detect range, etc. He should have no difficulty dropping people from a distance. Decent skills, especially a couple KS and PS that have helped him out. Player used to play a glass cannon that was only good for fights, loving him playing this style though.
 
Agent A: Interrogations/Coversations. High Presence (Campaign limit). New to RPGs, but learning quickly. Decent skill sets.
 
Rachel: The largest skill monkey, with some unique favors, and a computer link to a custom satellite. Also a new player who is picking up quickly. Has a DNPC: Rajid, so normally acts as his spotter. Also is a mental illusionist. Has contacts with Prosecuting Attorneys, Judges, and even a favor built for an Airstrike.
 
Carlos Ramon: NPC I have yet to have to use. Taxi-driver who can't pass up pinball machines. He literally has a power I found from Hero System Super Skills somewhere that is for pinball machines. A martial-artist with a decent gun, and ironically the only character with any combat driving for something in near future Manhattan.
 
Had this group of players literally waltz into the big bad's main lieutenants base, where they were outnumbered 14:4. They proceed to roll an amazing presence attack and convince the people in the room to surrender. Then they decide to grab the LT.'s radio and use Mimicry to tell the guards to leave their posts that cops were on the way. (somewhat true, as they also called the police in and police were en-route.) They succeed. Somehow a fight that I was planning on being tough for them (most enemies were well suited for neutralizing most advantages the team regularly deployed.), managed to be entirely circumvented in 3 rolls.
 
Players are planning on hitting a gangs base (the one in the preceding paragraph). Don't inform their bosses (the police and FBI), instead start trying to figure out a way to get in and get everyone. Half the players are honorable, have a CvK, or have a duty to protect the innocent. Never the less first two plans are:
1) Have the player with the Presidential Contact ask for a carpet bombing of the warehouse area in Manhattan where the gang is.
2) Have the other player who has an airstrike built into a favor, use said favor to level the area.
 
Later the players decide on a slightly better plan; the players are disguised as the robbers who went after the bank.
 
Guard: Where is Joe? Didn't he drive you?
Agent A: He did, but we had a run in with the cops. He caught a bullet in the fire fight. Cops got him.
Player rolls conversation with some penalties, and fails horribly. The players ask me how quick the need to drop the guys before people are alerted. I said they had till the enemies phase.
Rajid: I'm going to shoot the guy 2m from me.
Rolls and barely hits, then rolls the 7 Stun 1 body
Rajid: Apparently I just tapped him with my gun instead.
Agent K: I thought you were supposed to be a SNIPER.
 
Later on right about the end of the session.
 
Agent K. makes a danger sense roll.
GM: You get the feel an impending danger for Rajid.
Agent K. With my detect lifeforce can't I detect where frome?
GM: Your in a van going down the highways, you detect people all over. (He can tell where an alive person is not thier disposition or anything.) Roll your perception though.
Agent K: By 5.
GM: You notice a blacked out Humvee speeding up towards you.
Agent K: I want to take all 5 charges of my 8d6 small AOE blast with a trigger and stick them onto a brick.
GM: Ok. (Roll and see that there is a brick in the van). That will work. Now what?
Agent K: I open the door of the van and throw it in their window. Assuming I make it I will blow it up while blowing them a kiss.
 
Rolls and succeeds...
 
Needless to say yet again my players circumvented two battles I had planned on being difficult with no problems. They have yet to get shot at in the three battles they were in thus far. At least they are playing their characters well, even the two beginners, and my third campaign is going well. It's all been fun, which is the most important part.
 
EDIT: Added description of the players, and fixed the name I remembered now.

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack / Jonathan Bridges: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Mr. Johnson (NPC): the name used by/for anonymous employers
 
A Walk in the Park
This was the same adventure previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
Mr. Johnson wanted to hire the team for an "easy" extraction.
 
Mr. Johnson: "The target is a middle manager. She lives in a medium-security corporate subdivision. It should be a walk in the park. Literally. Every evening she takes a walk in the park, and that's where you'll meet her. Just make certain that she doesn't have a tail and bring her out of there."
Jonathan Bridges: "If it was that simple, she would be able to extract herself."
Mr. Johnson: "The target has even provided the extraction plan for you."
Jonathan Bridges: "Yes. I've added a surcharge for that."
Mr. Johnson: (frowning) "A surcharge?"
Jonathan Bridges: "If my team is going to be constrained by an amateurish plan, there is an extra charge."
Mr. Johnson: (raising his eyebrows) "Amateurish?"
Jonathan Bridges: "There's a code phrase. It includes the words 'Easter Bunny.' That's not the work of a seasoned professional."
 
The team came up with a two-part plan. The heavily wooded park was at the edge of the subdivision. Dent and Jane would sneak past security. Jack and No-Step would pose as city sanitation workers cleaning out the sewer along the target's path back to her condo. Dent would approach her invisibly, give the code phrase, and instruct her to walk to the van. When she reached the van, the pair would get her in the van (using a diversion if needed). Then they would calmly drive out of the suburb.
 
Eye Spy: (scouting with her drones) "I think this is a trap. I see a group of people in heavy armor in the park not far from the target. There's another group of people under some trees on the other side of her. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that they're wearing heavy armor too."
No-Step: "As much as I appreciate the warning, it might have been nice to know that this was a trap before we entered the subdivision."
Dent: "Get over it. We just sneak out before they know we're here."
Byte Force: "I hate to be the killjoy, but they may already know you're there. They could just be waiting for you to finish walking into the ambush before pulling the trigger."
 
The sneaky people believed that they could sneak back out again. The people who had bluffed their way in were in a somewhat bigger predicament.
 
No-Step: "I think we're going to have to abandon the van. As long as they know we're in here, they can just blockade the exits to the subdivision and keep us from leaving."
Happy Jack: "Then we just need to convince them that we've already left."
 
The escape plan:
Jane and Dent hid noisemakers in the woods about 30 to 50 meters from the security troops. Some of the radio-controlled, timed noisemakers sounded like assault rifles firing three-round bursts. The others sounded like heavy machine guns firing full auto. In the dark, they even produced realistic muzzle flash.
When the shooting started, Byte Force would disrupt all the security cameras in the neighborhood.
Dent would use Control Thoughts on someone driving a large vehicle. He would command the person to drive like a bat-out-of-hell out of the neighborhood and race toward downtown Seattle.
As the randomly chosen driver raced toward the subdivision exit, Byte Force would open the security gates and jam them open.
In the chaos, the team van's photoelectric paint scheme would be switched from the Seattle Sanitation Department paint scheme to the Aztechnology Security paint scheme. (The extraction target worked for an Aztechnology subsidiary.)
After any mobile security units pursued the decoy driver out of the neighborhood, the disguised van would chase after them, like they were part of the security force.
 
Eye Spy: "My van is built for sneakiness, not speed. It's not going to keep up with a car chase."
Happy Jack: "Yes. We will be unable to catch up with the people who are trying to capture us. I think I can live with that."
 
There was one final critical detail.
 
Happy Jack: "Eye Spy, make sure your drones get a full video recording of the trap being sprung."
Eye Spy: "Okay. Why?"
Happy Jack: "I'd like to show Mr. Johnson that the mission was FUBAR before we arrived."
 
Audacity Jane: (listening to the security guards fire thousands of rounds of ammo at the noisemakers) "I like to call this tactic, 'Much Ado About Nothing'..."
 
There were still some surprises provided by the security forces ... and some surprises provided by the team.
 
Eye Spy: "Incoming. A light attack chopper with a chin-mounted autocannon."
Audacity Jane: "Can it be flown blind?"
Eye Spy: "It has some sensors for night flying."
Audacity Jane: "No. No. No. Can it be flown BLIND?"
Eye Spy: "Oh!" (firing a flash grenade from a drone and air-bursting it in front of the helicopter) "Not really. There's no autopilot on that model."
 
During the escape, the team had almost completely forgotten about the target of the extraction.
 
Eye Spy: "They just loaded our extraction target into the back of a patrol car." (pause) "It looks like they're taking her somewhere outside of the neighborhood."
Happy Jack: "How big is her escort?"
Eye Spy: "Just a few guards in the car with her."
Happy Jack: "Eye Spy, give me an intercept course. No-Step, do you think you can stop that car?"
No-Step: "My city spirit has a power called 'Accident.' It's pretty good for stopping cars."
Happy Jack: "Good. Our target is no longer sitting in the middle of a trap. Let's go extract her."
 
Minutes later...
 
No-Step: "What's worse than having a city spirit crash your armored patrol car?" (pause) "Having the same city spirit materialize inside the car and kick the drek out of you."
Happy Jack hopped out of the van and jumped onto the roof of the patrol car.
Happy Jack: "Hello chummers. Guess which side of the vehicle you forgot to put firing ports into?"
Happy Jack knelt on the roof of the car, leaned over the edge of the car, shoved the barrel of his mini-grenade launcher into one of the side firing ports, and fired a NeuroStun gas grenade into the car.
Happy Jack: "Firing ports work in both directions."

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Euphoria (NPC): an A-list simsense star
Robert Carrone (NPC): Euphoria's manager; hired the team to find/retrieve Euphoria
Craft (NPC): an insane magick user; Euphoria's captor
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 5 - Buggered
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
Robert Carrone demanded an update on the team's search for, so a summary was provided (carefully edited to sound believable):
Euphoria was abducted by a man named Craft.
Craft was Vincent Burroughs' business partner, and the source of Amber Gel.
Craft was an awakened magick user, but followed a tradition that the team had never encountered before.
Craft could summon spirits of a type the team had never encountered before.
Craft had killed Vincent Burroughs, using a summoned spirit to do the deed.
Euphoria was probably being held at Craft's production facility; the team had the address.
The facility was guarded by spirits and paranormal awakened creatures; the type, numbers and capabilities were unknown.
Craft was insane and obsessed with Euphoria.
 
Surprisingly, Robert Carrone was satisfied with the report. Even more surprising, he considered that the team had fulfilled the agreement to "locate Euphoria". Best of all, he was prepared to offer an even larger sum of money to break into the facility and retrieve her.
 
MegaMedia also loaned the team mil-spec heavy weapons and armor for the mission.
 
Byte Force: "I guess they expect us to charge in there, guns-blazing."
Dent: "They don't know us very well."
Audacity Jane: "I'm glad it's available. I want heavy firepower in reserve when, not 'if', we lose the element of surprise."
Eye Spy: "This really has you worried. Don't you think you can drop the guards before they spot you?"
Audacity Jane: "They're a bunch of ants. Ants. Hive mind. I'm expecting to lose surprise when I drop them."
Happy Jack: "Check all the loaner gear for booby-traps. Shaped charges inside the armor, tasers in the electronics ... I don't want to be surprised when MegaMedia tries to kill us."
Dent: "When?"
Happy Jack: "Ellery arranged the meeting between Carrone and me, as they demanded, then they killed him anyway. I'm expecting them to do the same to us, regardless of whether we succeed or fail."
 
Thanks to Craft's spirits, sneaking in was more complicated than usual.
 
Audacity Jane: "I don't like spirits as guards. It's hard to sneak past a guard that you can't even see."
Dent: "We can summon city spirits to conceal you while you sneak in. If you are spotted, they can also defend you."
Audacity Jane: "If we're spotted, have them attack the bug spirits instead."
No-Step: "You don't want them protecting you?"
Audacity Jane: "I would rather have them drawing attention away from me."
Dent: "We can also send in swarms of Watcher spirits."
No-Step: "No. Watchers aren't very bright. They can only follow extremely simple instructions."
Dent: "Simple instructions like, 'On my command, go into that building and kill bug spirits.'"
No-Step stared at Dent.
Dent (ooc): I program computers for a living. I'm accustomed to giving simple instructions to really stupid machines.
No-Step: "Our spirits are going to be outnumbered. They won't last long."
Dent: "They can kill all they want. We'll summon more."
 
What does a decker do when there's no network?
 
Byte Force: "Craft has no computer network in his lair. There's not much for me to do."
Happy Jack: "We need you to keep an eye on MegaMedia. They're going to betray us."
Byte Force: "You want to know when the inevitable betrayal happens."
Happy Jack: "I want you to make sure it fails. No pressure."
 
The infiltration worked better than expected. The city spirits prevented the bug spirits from detecting Audacity Jane and Happy Jack.
 
Audacity Jane: (peering through her spy scope into the next room) "I think we found our target. There's dozens of pods in here. Euphoria's probably in the big one in the corner, but there's no way to be sure."
Happy Jack: "Let me guess ... lots of bugs?"
Audacity Jane: "Lots ... but I see one thing that's not connected to the bugs' hive mind."
Happy Jack: "What's that?"
Audacity Jane pulled out her silenced narcojet pistol, eased the door open a couple inches, and fired several darts in rapid succession.
Audacity Jane: "Craft."
 
With Craft down, the spirits and drones were able create a diversion ... by launching a full frontal assault. Down in the basement Audacity Jane's targeted bursts dropped the possessed/mutated ant-human hybrids one after another. Happy Jack's insecticide-coated naginata carved through hybrids and materialized ant-spirits with equal ease.
 
Which meant it was time for the other shoe to drop....
 
Byte Force: "A full company of Knight Errant troopers just rolled up. They're supposed to go in and complete the mission if we fail."
Eye Spy: "What will they do if we succeed?"
Byte Force: "I am desperately trying to find the answer to that question."
 
A couple minutes later, Byte Force had his answer....
 
Byte Force: "The good news is, killing us is not part of their primary or secondary mission parameters." (pause) "The bad news is, their contract contains an optional clause to kill us if Robert Carrone requests it."
Eye Spy: "He's going to exercise the option."
Byte Force: "That's the really bad news. That option costs MegaMedia less than paying us."
 
It was time to call the Knight Errant captain on a private line and make a deal.
 
Happy Jack: (cutting in on the captain's private line) "Good evening, Captain. I would like to offer you some assistance with your contract with MegaMedia."
Knight Errant captain: "Who are you, and how did you get on this line?"
Happy Jack: "I'm part of the team that's rescuing Euphoria."
Knight Errant captain: "I'll pretend I know what you're talking about. What do you want? And why would I need your help?"
Happy Jack: "At this point you can fulfill all of your mission parameters and get paid with absolutely no effort and no casualties. All you have to do is convince Robert Carrone to pay us and let us leave unharmed."
Knight Errant captain: "And if he isn't easily convinced?"
Happy Jack: "You have lost strategic and tactical surprise. We haven't. I'm sure you can guess what kind of unpleasant surprises we have put in place just in case we're betrayed."
Knight Errant captain: "Like what?"
Happy Jack: "You seem unclear on the concept of a 'surprise'. Surprises are the things you don't get told about."
Knight Errant captain: "..."
Happy Jack: "So ... would you prefer to work with us and collect an easy paycheck, or work against us and lose most of your profit?"
 
And then it was time for final details. While the team generally preferred non-lethal solutions, for some opponents they made exceptions....
 
Happy Jack: (looking at the darts sticking out of Craft's chest) "Three narcojet rounds. That's a lethal dose, right?"
Audacity Jane: "I certainly intended it to be."
Happy Jack: "We should probably check to be sure he's dead."
Audacity Jane reached down, slashed Craft's throat nearly to the spine, then looked at the result clinically.
Audacity Jane: "I'm not seeing any arterial spray."
Happy Jack: "Me either. Definitely dead."

Reminds me of a DnD session back when 3e first came out.
 
I was playing a half-orc barbarian and we got attacked in the middle of the night. My barbarian had spent some of his loot drinking and whoring with two half-elves and a human lady of the night (I was in highschool) and failed my Listen check to wake up.
 
Our Elven Sorcerer had just hit 6th level and got Lightning Bolt. He was just getting ready for bed and rolled a Nat20 on his Listen check. His door was at the end of the hall and he opened it up and saw a half-dozen men in full-plate armor wearing the colors of the baron we'd just pissed off. He then proceeded to use his surprise round and ambush the attackers with a Lightning Bolt. Then initiative happened and and he rolled another Nat20 on that.
 
So he Bolted them again.
 
That woke my Barbarian up.
 
Me: "I toss the girls off of me and rip the door off of its hinges. "What in Gruumsh's missing testicle is going on out here!?" Brandishing my greataxe and making an intimidation check.
 
DM: "They are all dead."
 
Me: I glare at the elf. "Next time use the Silent Spell feat!"
 
Of course, that started a 40-minute argument on Meta-magic feats. Nevermind that I was making a joke.

Well, after being woken up at 7PM and dragged to an impromptu Shadowrun session last night on account of me forgetting to tell half the party there wasn't going to be a game that evening due to the Xmas break..
 
Greenlight, Warhammer and Titus are the only players. My Plan was to lead into Greenlight's plot Climax by having these three captured, so I decided to throw some Overwhelming odds against them.
 
This ended up becoming "Reasonably Challenging". For only half the party.
---
 
 
 
It's finally time for the Red Samurai Armor auction. held in an abandoned warehouse in the Barrens (as is standard for these sorts of things), a small group of unscrupulous looking men in suits arrive to bid. A few more are here via telepresence. 
 
Greenlight: Oh, Cool! One of them is using the SEELE Avatar!
 
The Bidding begins, and a bidding war quickly erupts for the most pristine set of armor between the Monolith, and a rather Large Japanese Troll (even for Trolls) who grunts a lot, called Yama. The Troll finally clinches the deal with an offer of 300k for that armor alone. The other 5 less impressive sets are quickly sold to others (including the monolith) for 140% base price.
 
The transactions complete, everyone bar Greenlight, titus and Warhammer move the armors into the Mystery Machine to ship them off to parts unknown. 
 
Aaand then Suddenly the Roof Implodes.
 
As is customary for Shadowrun, this entire next sequence occurs within 2 Combat turns, AKA Six Seconds:
 
 
Rappelling down from a personnel chopper are Four squads of Red Samurai at 5 men each, Each squad having an additional LT, and another bigger guy leading the op, bringing the total number to 25 Men. Renraku know that the team is exceptionally Experienced, and thus decide to use Shock and Awe tactics to get the drop on them in the surprise round.
 
The shadowrunners, Naturally, went first.
 
Greenlight, using her ridiculous amount of Edge, manages to shoot out one of the ropes as one of the quads rappels down, causing an entire squad to fall on their butts.
 
Warhammer, thinking that that was a brilliant idea, follows suit. By firing a Woolly Pete Grenade into the personnel chopper's crew compartment. The pilot was thankfully (for him) smart enough to have his cabin door closed, so he wasn't immediately killed. the WP nade however managed to snap the rest of the ropes, causing every single squad to collapse into piles. 
 
Titus decided to not use his hammer for the first time, and tossed a frag grenade into one of the piles. They went away.
 
Things went downhill for the Red Samurai. Going through natural target selection, they went for the dwarf with the grenade launcher (Warhammer). It annoyed him. Then they went for the troll (Titus). The gel rounds pinged off his armor like raindrops. Then they went for the weedy guy in the coat (Greenlight) with proper aimed pinpoint focused fire. They missed. So then they charged the troll with swords. The troll laughed them off. The guy in the coat yelled for them to 'throw their guns away' (Adept Power: Commanding voice), forunately, they ignored it, only being confused. One of the lieutenants, obviously targeting the mage, charged him. Greenlight then proceeded to use the Large Dice Pool Rules on a Full Parry action, and thus  decapitated him with a stun baton.   An attack chopper flew in when the transport helo bugged out, and targeted Titus. After missing with a wide burst, it tried again with focused fire, and for the first time in campaign history, Titus actually took damage that wasn't from Friendly fire. for 2 Stun Damage.
 
At this point, the Red Samurai Troops decided that bringing gel rounds to capture the targets was a bad idea. The leader called in for reinforcements.
 
Red Samurai Leader: Bring in more men! Some Flamethrowers, A Fucking Tank! Anything, Jesus Christ!
 
Warhammer Decided to end this little charade, and fired another WP grenade into the attack chopper. And landed a Critical.
 
The WP grenade landed directly into the rear Rotor, Sending molten metal and phosphorous spinning wildly everywhere, melting the rear of the chopper off, and sending the remaining half careening into the warehouse, where it promptly crashed and exploded, killing the remaining Red Samurai troops instantly.
 
Inkubus: *Craning his head out of the Mystery Machine's driver's seat window* "What the hell was that noise?"

Jrska wants to lure Aladar away from thralldom to Tzeentch and back into the embrace of Slaneesh. For one thing, he was her thrall first, and all his internal mechanical mutations have not only left him immune to Jrska's charms, they didn't even include a vibrating attachment.

GM: I'd rather you didn't seduce him back to Slaneesh. If you do seduce him it'll count as a failing, and he'll gain enough corruption to turn into a Chaos Spawn.
Jrska: I don't mind - I'd quite like to have him a Spawn as pet.
Aladar: Hey! I mind!

Arriving at Xurunt, where the legends we barely know suggest a chance to get armies of Khornate berserkers if we can hold the Throne of Baphtar for a year. Although piloting the Promise of War is difficult, given the currents of the Screaming Vortex even at the best of times.

Sister Johanna: I thought it flew itself?
GM: It needs to be guided.
Jrska: And hit with a rolled-up newspaper every time it tries to eat the crew. 'Bad Daemon-station! Bad Daemon-station!'

The highest mountain on Xurunt has been carved into a cloven-hoofed warrior.

Aladar: Lord Cassius! I think you'll need to sit on his lap.
Cassius: No. I need an adult.
Jrska: 'Sit up here and tell Santa Khorne what you want for Christmas'.
GM: 'Piles of skulls, and more piles of skulls, and more piles of skulls...'

There's also an ancient fortress beneath the Throne, which Aladar determines is showing a few signs of life. Cassius decides to disguise himself as a mortal - to whit, Jrska's brother Prince Pseudanor.

Cassius: Just to mess with her >

Jrska turns to see her brother, squeals with delight, and skips forward.

Cassius: Oh crap, I didn't think this through.
Jrska: *embraces and deeply tongue-kisses him*
Cassius: *Pushes her off* I forgot how ... close... you two were.

Jrska OoC: You realise I'd have reacted the same way even if I HAD realised it was you?
Cassius OoC: Yeah - just to mess with me.
Jrska OoC: Yup

Jrska: This has possibilities *leers*
Cassius: I'm sure you are thinking beyond the carnal ones.
Jrska: *shrugs* Eh.
Cassius: With Profane Runes I can disguise all of you, as well.

Cassius is irritated that Jrska thinks we need to conquer. It goes against his plan to make Chaos work together for once. And if we can seduce the Xurunt leaders into following Cassius even without taking the Throne, we get want we wanted anyway. But as we fly down to the surface we meet flak fire coming the other way.

GM: And where are the rest of you?
Jrska: Enjoying myself with one of the stewardesses.
GM: There aren't any stewardesses.
Jrska: A Kingfisher Girl in a short skirt.
GM: It looks good on him.

Johanna pulls Aladar out of the pilot's seat and takes over, driving our Battle-ram straight at the ground and pulling out of the dive at the last moment, skimming the fortress' battlements. Cassius opens the deployment ramp - while we're still flying at full speed - and Johanna barely keeps us out of a fatal spin. It turns out there more than one fortress down here among the trees, and some of them have actual technology. Aladar is not happy about losing his only job on the ship, and threatens Johanna with his lascannon. Johanna responds by flipping the Battle-ram upside down. Aladar has magboots. Cassius does not.

Jrska: Since we're apparently flying out of control at the moment, I imagine somebody is screaming 'Pull out! Pull out!'. It's the Kingfisher Girl.

Cassius: I have the perfect solution for this. I kill both of you.

Jrska: This is not the way my Kingfisher Girl wanted to join the Mile High Club.

Cassius OoC: Can you imagine a lascannon with the Accurate trait? 'This is my sniper team'
GM: 'Don't you mean Heavy Weapon Team?'
Cassius OoC: 'Nope >:)'

We'll also learn later that the flak cannons are using radioactive ammunition. That probably explains why the ground troops are scattering when the ammo dumps explode. Or it could be because Cassius dropped into their midst, shedding his mortal disguise. Either way, Jrska is in more trouble than she realises, since her armour is by far the weakest in the party. Johanna flies the Battle-ram up to the walls of the most annoying keep. And then through them.

Jrska meets a posse of axe-wielding Xur warriors and draws her one-eyed plasma pistol. Plasma pistols are already suspiciously phallic, and now it's a Daemon Weapon, so the way it gushes sticky plasma over anything that attracts Jrska's attention is hardly surprising.

Me: I am so looking forward to drawing her like this. MWAHAHAHA

However, the Xur's own weapons - some sort of howling power axe - are also alarming, and it looks like Jrska is going to need a bionic replacement for her OTHER leg. Happily, Johanna and her minions come to the beast-woman's rescue.

Jrska: They like me, they really really like me.

Of course, having dozens of minions all trying to disembark at once completely clogs the exits.

Jrska: They're packed in like sardines. There isn't even room for them to hit the ground.
Cassius: Not that they're complaining.

Cassius himself, outside, challenges the keep's master to single combat. Given Khorne's biases, the local champion HAS to accept, or face Khorne's ire at his cowardice. Jrska's Kingfisher Girls swarm the enemy inside the keep and tear them apart with their bare hands.

Jrska: And hold the bits overhead saying 'I'm going to get this laminated'
Aladar: How do you laminate a three-dimensional object?
Jrska: I'm sure Cog could do it, if they ask nicely.

Cassius' minion - the soulless automaton that used to be a Thousand Sons Space Marine - is also doing well, exploding Khornate warriors left, right and centre. Aladar is starting to suffer radiation too, now. This battle is going to be very bad news for all the mortals involved, it seems. The keep's master refuses to fight, claiming that throwing his life away in a pointless battle will not please his lord, Baphtar-Khorne.

Cassius: If you wish to sit at the right hand of Khorne I will gladly send you on your way. But do you wish to continue this battle of words, as befits a follower of Tzeentch, or continue this as a warrior of Khorne? What say your men?

The keep's troops do indeed seem disgusted by their leader's caution, but haven't rebelled yet.

Cassius: What fault of it is mine that I have achieved such greatness, while you cower here within your keep?
Jrska: While you curl up here like a snail in its shell'.
Cassius: Nice.

His hand forced, the keep's master agrees to honourable combat, and a truce is called. Cassius acknowledges this by putting his force staff Doomwind to one side, and shrinking himself down to merely human form.

Cassius: I require a blade, though it dishonours my Doomwind.

Cassius nonetheless cheats, using precognition in the combat.

Cassius: After all that grandstanding it would help if I actually win.

Although the local seems to be toying with Cassius too.

Keepmaster: I have something to tell you - I am not, in fact, left-handed.

But Cassius disarms him anyway (eventually).

Keepmaster: My life is yours.
Cassius: Your blood is Khorne's - but your skull will not adorn his throne this day.

The Keepmaster compliments Cassius on his fighting skill, but does warn us that we had all better abandon the keep, lest we all succumb to the Wasting Sickness. Darn radioisotopes. Apparently some followers of Nurgle gifted the locals with the radiation missiles etc, in an effort to spread the blessings of the Plaguefather. It's certainly made life interesting in the eight kingdoms, as we share mead and the Keepmaster informs us of the political situation surrounding Baphtar's Throne - it would appear the legends are out of date. Whenever one kingdom tries for the throne the other seven gang up to stop them. And all eight will open fire on anybody trying to fly straight to the old temple.

Cassius: Game of Thrones but with more blood. And radiation sickness.

The eight daimyos might be persuaded to follow Cassius. Especially with Gray's Repulsive-class Grand Cruiser hovering overhead.

Jrska: The Unfettered Judgement is the Big Stick.

But in the end it seems a better idea to move on from Xurunt, acquire some fleets for transport purposes, then come back and unify the eight kingdoms under Cassius' banner. Or just take the Throne entirely.

Jrska: If we're going to be salvaging space hulks, I want a skin-tight gold lamé void suit.

It might not be gold lamé, but the form-hugging carapace armour Cassius gets her is very sexy.

Jrska: I had no idea you had such good taste, my lord.
Cassius: I keep you around, don't I?
Jrska: *beams*
Cassius: True, I also keep Aladar around...

But chasing down rumour does lead us to the Kasserkratch, the legendary treasure-filled wreck of a Grand Cruiser that nobody has ever come back from. It's also the kind of prize that any aspiring Warmaster in the Galaxy would salivate after, even without the tales of corridors drowning in loot. This should be interesting...

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Euphoria (NPC): an A-list simsense star
Robert Carrone (NPC): Euphoria's manager
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 4 - The disappearing-reappearing-disappearing simsense star
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
Robert Carrone, Euphoria's manager, needed the team's help finding Euphoria ... who had been abducted from her apartment again. This time far more violently than the team's abduction.
 
A search of the apartment turned up some clues. Euphoria's security guards had been killed by something that ripped, clawed and tore them apart. The attackers had gained access to the penthouse either by air or by scaling the exterior of the building. The paydirt was a partial simsense recording of the attack.
 
Most of the attackers couldn't be clearly seen. They were definitely not humans/metahumans of any sort, however. The two abductors who could be clearly seen were two smelly and unkempt humans. The talkative one said he'd been sent by Burroughs.
 
Two days earlier, Robert Carrone of MegaMedia had a falling out with Vincent Burroughs of Strice Foods. Coincidence?
 
Watcher spirits were unable to find Euphoria. Dent's ritual magick didn't work either (which strongly suggested she was already dead). Therefore, Burroughs was the most promising lead.
 
Audacity Jane: "I can grab Burroughs while he's heading home from work."
Happy Jack: "I don't want to wait that long. I'll disguise myself as that troll detective we met before. I'm going to take Burroughs into custody as an accomplice to a multiple homicide."
Audacity Jane: "You won't be able to maintain that ruse for long."
Happy Jack: "I just need to make it last until we're out of the building."
 
Happy Jack (disguised as a Lone Star detective), No-Step and Audacity Jane (disguised as uniformed Lone Star officers ... it makes sense; automatic good cop/bad cop) went to see Vincent Burroughs.
 
Secretary: "As much as we'd like to assist Lone Star, I'm afraid Mr. Burroughs is too busy to see you today. Perhaps you would like to call back later and make an appointment?"
Audacity Jane: "Perhaps you would like to buzz us into his office before I arrest you for obstructing a homicide investigation?"
The three gained entered into Burroughs' office, interrupting Mr. Burroughs.
Happy Jack: "Watch this simsense clip. It's a few seconds long. Afterwards, you're going to answer my questions about it."
Vincent Burroughs watched the clip -- Euphoria's abductor monologuing ... and implicating Burroughs as his boss.
Vincent Burroughs: (pale, shaken and blustering) "I'm not answering any questions. I want my lawyer."
Happy Jack: "Your lawyer can meet us at the precinct."
A man-sized ant suddenly materialized and attacked Burroughs. The three team members destroyed it, but not before it killed Burroughs.
No-Step: "That was some kind of spirit ... somewhat similar to an elemental or nature spirit."
Audacity Jane: "You've never mentioned bug spirits before."
No-Step: "Until ... oh ... 20 seconds ago I didn't know they existed."
 
The shell-shocked secretary became much more helpful. The man on the simsense was named Craft. He was Burroughs' partner. He manufactured the Amber Gel. She had the address of the production facility ... and the address listed for Craft's pay to be sent to.
 
Happy Jack: (to the security guards who just arrived) "The crime scene investigators are on their way. Keep this door closed and everybody out until they arrive. If anyone enters that room, I am going to charge everyone involved with tampering with evidence."
Security Guard: "But ... isn't it their job" (gesturing at the uniformed No-Step and Audacity Jane) "to secure the crime scene?"
Happy Jack: (yelling at the security guard) "DO I LOOK LIKE A 'BY THE BOOK' KIND OF DETECTIVE TO YOU?"
 
Craft's home address was a magic shop. The front door was guarded by Craft's human accomplice who we had previously seen in the simsense recording.
 
No-Step: "He's not human. Well ... he is, but there's a man-sized ant spirit superimposed over him in the astral."
Dent: "Yeah." (pause) "Maybe he's possessed by the ant spirit."
Happy Jack: "So what happens if you send a couple city spirits to kill the bug and leave the person alive?"
Dent: (snickering) "He'll be dispossessed."
Eye Spy: "Will he be back to normal?"
No-Step: "Um ... we'll tell you in a couple minutes."
 
If spirits could squish, then the ant spirit would have been thoroughly squashed. The person appeared catatonic though.
 
Dent: (doing a Mind Probe) "The lights are on, but noooobody's home."
No-Step: "That makes two of you."
Eye Spy: "Maybe he started out brain-dead."
No-Step: "Dent certainly did."
 
The possessee may have started out human, but he was not entirely human any longer. He had compound eyes, and patches of his skin had turned into chitin.
 
Dent: "So the possession turns them into those paracritters that you were talking about."
No-Step: "That's like a combination of The Pod People and The Fly."
Eye Spy: "I just want everybody to know that I am officially creeped out now."
 
The magic shop looked like it hadn't been open for a while. The living quarters downstairs, however....
 
Byte Force: "This is even worse than the rathole apartment we were supposed to hold Euphoria in. What is that smell?"
Audacity Jane: "Dried blood. Lots of it."
Happy Jack: "I like how you know that without even having to pause and think about it."
 
The dried blood was in the bedroom. Hundreds of posters and pictures of Euphoria covered the walls. Many had spatters of dried blood on them. Most of the dried blood was on the bed and the floor.
 
Dent: "So she's already dead?"
Audacity Jane: "This blood isn't hers. It's dry. If she'd lost all this blood, a lot of it would still be wet." (pause) "I think this blood belongs to more than one victim. That kind of mattress can soak up a lot of blood."
Byte Force: "And how do you know that?"
Audacity Jane: "Professional necessity. It's a dead giveaway when the dead guy's blood start's leaking into the apartment below."
 
Craft's closet also held replicas of every costume Euphoria had ever worn in her simsense roles. There was also a rack of women's wigs. Many of the outfits and wigs had blood stains on them.
 
No-Step: "Craft must be a serial killer. I suspect he brings women here, probably prostitutes, dresses them up like Euphoria, then kills them on the bed."
Eye Spy: "Okay, that's even creepier than getting possessed by bug spirits and turning into a bug-creature."
Happy Jack: "I noticed something that's going to creep you out even more."
Eye Spy: "Please don't tell me."
Dent: "What's even creepier than that?"
Happy Jack: "There's only one bed in here. There's no sofa, no futon, no easy-chair, no mat on the floor. Just the bloodstained bed." (long pause) "Guess where Craft sleeps."
Eye Spy: (plugging her ears) "Lalalalalalala."

Last night, playing D&D 4th --
 
Our group of adventurers was at sea and were attacked by a larger magical ship, crewed by wooden automatons and led by a person who appears to have stolen the ship in the first place.  Our sorcerer has figured out the ship is siphoning off arcane energy from any nearby magical items, and possibly from magic-using persons (like himself).
 
After we defeat the captain and take the ship as our own, and the sorcerer is trying to figure out how to make the ship go while the rest of us are considering new names for our new ship.  One of the female players innocently asks the sorcerer, "Aren't you worried about the ship trying to suck off you?" 
 
After about the third or fourth comment from various players involving either "suck" or "blow", the sorcerer said, "Okay, I have a name for our new ship.  It's the Innuendo."

Heck, if we'd considered how useful libido could be in easily resolving missions, we might not have played all orks and trolls. (And if the tool you have is Inkubus, every problem looks like it can be nailed.)
 
In addition, you use that boat about the same way we used the Ork Underground. It's a great hideout that totally screws up most enemies.
 
 
The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.   Dent: ork, rat shaman No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems Happy Jack / Jonathan Bridges: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star Mr. Johnson (NPC): the generic name used for/by people who hire shadowrunners Ellery Whitecastle (NPC): the fixer that set the team up with Ludivenko's Mr. Johnson simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences   Euphoria, part 3 - Busted This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).   The team had discovered that there was something strange about Amber Gel, but they weren't sure what. It was time to use their collective talents to dig up some dirt.   The Dirt: Amber Gel was Strice Foods' hottest new product. It was about to make the leap from the test market (Seattle) to the global market. The manager in charge of Amber Gel, Vincent Burroughs, was completely incompetent. The only thing saving his career was that he was the sole point of contact between Strice and the unknown manufacturer. For some reason, Vincent Burroughs was having difficulty meeting the increased demand for production. Ludivenko was concerned about the success of Amber Gel. In response, they were about to release their own knock-off product. Amber Gel contained no artificial colors, no artificial flavors, no artificial sweeteners and no artificial preservatives. It was by far the most 'natural' product ever sold in a Stuffer Shack. It also contained a natural preservative that was vaguely related to those found in honey.   Byte Force: "Add in No-Step's vision, and I'm going to guess that Amber Gel may be made by ants." Eye Spy: "They're probably genetically modified ants." Happy Jack: "I wouldn't rule out paracritters. There are likely some undiscovered species of awakened ant. This could be connected to one of them" Dent: "I guess it's time to stock up on bug spray." Byte Force: "I'll try to find something that's nonflammable. We may want to use it a building that we want intact." Eye Spy: "If a building is full of awakened or genetically modified ants, I vote for burning it to the ground." No-Step: "I understand your enthusiasm, but if we're inside of the building, I'd prefer to have an inflammable option available." Audacity Jane, Byte Force, Dent and Happy Jack: (almost in unison) "Nonflammable." Eye Spy: "Aren't they the same thing?" Happy Jack: "And this is why I buy all of the munitions for you two."   After two days of investigation, the team was interrupted by a business-related call...   Ellery Whitecastle: (on the phone with Jonathan Bridges) "We've got a bit of a problem. MegaMedia somehow discovered that your team was behind Euphoria's disappearance." Jonathan Bridges: "They 'somehow discovered' this information? You knew my team was involved. Our client knew we were involved. That's a very short list of potential leaks." Ellery Whitecastle: "Um ... well ... On the bright side, so far, they're peaceful. They want you to meet with Robert Carrone, her manager, at the Pacific Towers lobby at eleven this morning." Jonathan Bridges: "You make it sound so enticing ... and safe." Ellery Whitecastle: "It's possible that they will excuse our involvement if you give them any information you have on our former employer." Jonathan Bridges: "Our client paid for our silence. I think you'll have to send MegaMedia my regrets." Ellery Whitecastle: (sounding stressed) "Could you at least have your team meet with Carrone? At least see what he has to say?" Jonathan Bridges: "Why? Did he threaten to kill you if I don't meet him?" Ellery Whitecastle: "Yes!" Jonathan Bridges: "And why would this make me want to meet him?"   Jonathan Bridges called Robert Carrone to make certain that the meeting would be reasonably peaceful. (If anyone attempted to kill Jonathan, the rest of the team would ensure that Robert Carrone died quickly after.)   Despite this, Robert Carrone still felt the need to be threatening during the meeting.   Robert Carrone: "You people aren't popular with MegaMedia right now. You caused a very profitable deal to fall through. Your corporate employer for the extraction has already settled their debt with us." Jonathan Bridges: (shrugging) "We warned them that they had operational security leaks." Robert Carrone: "And Mr. Whitecastle will do the same shortly." (glancing at his watch) "Pardon me. The late Mr. Whitecastle has just settled his debt with us." Jonathan Bridges: (sounding bored) "If you're just leading up to the part where you try to kill me, I can save us some time and tell my team to level this building." Robert Carrone: "WHAT ?!?" Jonathan Bridges: "I said my team would do their utmost to ensure you died shortly after any attempt on me. We're willing to cause massive collateral damage to accomplish that." Robert Carrone: (uncertainly) "It's not possible to set up a demolition that quickly." Jonathan Bridges: "There's an automated delivery van packed full of homemade C-4 at the loading dock. We buy it from the Cascade Orks by the truckload. All we had to do was load 20 crates and program the destination into the van's autopilot." (pauses, then continues in a more cheerful tone) "so, do we both play nice, or do we all go boom?" GM (ooc): Holy @#$%. If I didn't know you were bluffing, I would believe you. Audacity Jane (ooc): I packed Jack's briefcase with 5 kilos of C-4. We may not level the building, but I can wreck whatever room it's in. In addition, I also have the building entrance covered with a sniper rifle, so I can kill Carrone if he flees the explosion. To top that off, Dent took a ritual blood sample from Euphoria, so he can target her anywhere in the world. The only thing Jack is bluffing about is how we kill them.   Robert Carrone wanted to play nice. He needed the team's help finding Euphoria ... who had been abducted from her apartment again. This time far more violently. Carrone was willing to pay the team well to find her.   That blood sample Dent took from Euphoria seemed like the ideal tool for finding her....

On the difference between our runs and the rumours we've heard about a certain other team - ( Houston GM's - )
 
Felix: Our team gets by on Inkubus' libido and boats, their team gets by on subtlety and professionalism.
Inkubus: F**k you! Besides, my libido and boats has worked so far.

Felix: Why is there a hose attachment on the table?
Inkubus: Because there's a hose attachment on the table. Do you have a problem with this?
Warhammer: Do you want it somewhere else?
Greenlight: Does it offend you?
Inkubus: Are you hosist?

Back to Scotland, where we need to use that Astral Gate near Loch Ness. Just as well part of our deal with Celadyr retroactively fixed any visa problems with us mysteriously leaving Scotland and coming home via Germany. Dragons generally don't have transponders. But there's never any guarantee where an Astral Gate will take you.

Titus: The Place of Endless Groin-punches
Inkubus: The Elemental Plane of BEEEES

But who will look after our bodies while we're in the Astral Planes? We decide that that Scottish professor owes us a favour. And her students can watch over us and hopefully learn something.

Warhammer: How about your uncle Maximillian, Bubbles?
Inkubus: You need to have your brain examined. You literally just proposed leaving our unconscious bodies in the care of somebody that has climbed to high position in AZTECHNOLOGY. And corporate high position is bad enough, but Aztech?!

Felix: All part of the alien's masterplan
Inkubus: I for one welcome our new alien overlords! Because they've chosen me to be AWESOME.

Greenlight: Titus, what does your warhammer look like?
Felix: Short and Beardy.

Greenlight gets a bit unhappy when we prep our weapons for Astral use - Titus' Pimp Cane, for example.

Greenlight: It's just so boring - there's no legend to the weapons anymore. We just go out and buy a Sword +2. It's sad, really.
Titus: It's an age on consumerism. Get used to it.

Inkubus: I never want to see Weapon Focus : Caber
GM: 'Where are the Shadowrunners'
Inkubus: Ask the guy carrying the tree.

Titus: I know what to get you for Christmas now - a spellcasting focus Scrubbing Brush.
Inkubus: This is an aspect of the Way of Metal you don't see often - the clean-up afterwards. Actually, it is an aspect! The Roadie.

At least being out of town will give the renovators time to do up Inkubus and Felix' loft apartment, now luxury standard - and above luxury food.

Felix: Movie Nights are going to be AWESOME. Take-away from the best restaurants in Seattle

And of course, there's the interrogation of Doctor What. Inkubus hits him with an Orgasm, and sustains it. And sustains it.

Inkubus: Tell us why the book we stole is so important, if you ever want to enjoy the touch of a woman again. Or a man.
Felix: Or Sheep.

Apparently What was hired by Ehran the Scribe, who is pissed off that we've inconvenienced him repeatedly. We point out we have no idea who hired us to do those jobs.

Greenlight: Although if Mr Ehran wants us to run a counter-run, we are available for a reasonable fee.
Titus: We are professionals after all.
Greenlight: Now there's a change of clothes in the next room, and you can clean up.
Felix: I buy Wetwipes in Economy boxes.

This is going to be dangerous, but we can be careful.

Titus: We don't want to become cautionary tales.
Inkubus: *looks confused* Become?

On the Astral Threshold, Greenlight is greeted with an astral image of his little brother.

Lil' Bro: Thank you for rescuing me.
Lil' Clone: But why didn't you rescue me?
Lil' Clone 2: Or me?
Lil' Clone 3, 4, 5, 6 etc: Or Me?
Inkubus: 'Are you my Mummy?'

Inkubus gets ravished a metal dragon, but protests he's straight.

GM: Tough. That or challenge it to a rock battle.
Greenlight : 'Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your soul!'
Warhammer: Summon Ozzy Osbourne!
Titus: To bite its head off!
Ozzy: Sharron, what the fuck am I doing here again?
Sharon: you're judging a rock contest Ozzy!
Ozzy: I what?
Sharon: A rock concert! You're judging it between two rock icons!
Ozzy: Oh right. Well, going by tradition, I'll have to bite one of your heads off.
Inkubus and the dragon:*wince and clutch their junk*
Ozzy: Only your top 'eads you twats!

Felix meets his grandfather, at an Aztech corporate function atop the Great Pyramid in Tenochtitlan. A function that's becoming increasingly ... traditional.

Max Bethke: I do this for you, Grandson.

And then the Aztec priest next to him guts him like a fish and cuts out his heart.

Felix: F**k!!!!

Actually, this is probably the first hint Felix has had as to just what his grandfather had to do to stop Felix being killed after whatever mysterious incident got Felix put on 'permanent administrative leave'.

Inkubus: The next time I need to summon a fire spirit, I can always summon Indestructible (from every Disturbed album cover)
Titus: I'm sure he's friendly. Look, he's smiling!

The metaplane on the other side is swarming with fairies.

Inkubus: This is not metal.

We also have a fairy guide - Felix's bound air spirit.

Greenlight: F**k off, Navi.

There's also a town, at the base of a World Tree.

Inkubus: Bet you we have to climb that.

Warhammer: Tavern!
Greenlight: Tavern!
Felix: Inkubus is the one that's supposed to be tempted by this sort of thing!
Greenlight: We're in a medieval town.
Inkubus: Tavern! But I don't carouse.

Inkubus: Did Neil the Ork Barbarian just walk past us?
Greenlight: What? Where? *runs off after him for autograph*
Inkubus: You are such a fangirl.
Greenlight: Stop raining on my parade. Do I pooh-pooh you when you seduce women?
Inkubus: Yes.
Greenlight: True, fair enough.

Warhammer's totally lack of etiquette is likely to cause us problems.

Inkubus: Maybe that's how you left the military - you kept mouthing off to officers.
Greenlight: He's really good at shooting off his gun. And his mouth

The Queen of the fairies has been kidnapped!

Greenlight: Is the Queen of Fairies actually female?
GM: Yes. In this instance.

Inkubus: We need to buy some chains and manacles. For me. I get the strange impression that banging the Queen of the Fairies is not going to end well for us.

And, as Inkubus predicted, we have to climb the tree, facing hundreds of armoured insect-soldiers-fairies.

Inkubus: I'm about to make it rain. You'll probably want to shower afterwards.
Titus: Don't worry, our bodies aren't here - it'll only get on our souls.

Put it like that, Inkubus decides NOT to cast Mass Orgasm. Felix' bound spirit changes into a army, but the battle remains fraught.

Titus: The entirety of Bavaria has a grudge against you.
Inkubus: I only set a SMALL section of the Black Forest on fire.

And Felix then comes very close to killing himself with a miscast - back in reality he's bleeding from every orifice. Titus grabs the bleeding mage as he falls, fling back up again. Meanwhile, Greenlight blows into the main group. On her turn, she hits them for massive damage. On their turn, they attack her... and get hit for massive damage.

Greenlight: Disarm by way of breaking your opponent's wrist, it's a hell of a trick.
Titus: Parry, thrust, punch, counterpunch, DICK PUNCH

Likewise, Warhammer wildly fires grenades into the main group of insect-fairy-soldiers. Once ever other turn the dice betray him.

Warhammer: Wait... everything is fantasy here isn't it? I can't have grenades.
Titus: Sure you can, they're just jars carrying the spirits of bees from the elemental plane of fire. PHOSPHORUS BEEEEES!

The battle is not going well and we're already down a Mage. After telling off the semi-conscious Bubbles, Inkubus opts to summon up a massive earth spirit (force 12). He succeeds.

Inkbus: Oh crap... I just summoned the Yggdrasil squirrel.
GM: A troll-sized squirrel crawls to you, watching the battle commence. It sneers in bloodlust... AND DRAWS A ZWEIHANDER!
Titus: He doesn't like crabs either.

Greenlight: (after a particularly bad roll) I'm running out of Edge here!
GM: (Agast) You're running out of bad guys, too!

Titus: I fly up, rising like a Valkyrie
Greenlight: Carrying a rainbow Aztec

Squirrel: If you guys don't clear out, I'll do what we squirrels do best and COLLECT YOUR NUTS
Crab: (GM rolls, rolls a 1) Hah! We don't have any nuts.
Other crab: (Turns out the 1 was for the Crab's willcheck) Actually fred, we have twelve.
GM: They friggin' scatter.
Greenlight: Ratatosk uses Intimidate! It's super effective!

Finally, the party gets through to the top of the tree. There is a massive door.

Greenlight: Titus?
Titus: (hefts hammer)
Inkbus: (knocks on the door)
GM: The door opens
Inkbus: (turns to greenlight) You taught me that.
GM: And guess who the queen is.

The queen is the same air spirit who's True Name we were here to steal. Greenlight finds the situation to be particularly amusing, and therefore acts as Inkubus' wingman - as he attempting to seduce the air spirit that was out to kill us.

(Long story short, Inkubus adds his dice together. It's going rather well... then he adds his street cred.)

Inkubus: 26 dice.
GM: Holy shit.
Whole party: Holy shit.
Inkubus: (nodding) Will of the D.

Needless to say, the queen of the fairies decides to accompany him, and later, agrees to the mutually satisfying binding ritual.

Inkubus: Well, uh, be busy.
Greenlight: Sure, and the squirrel will be watching the nuts
Inkubus: 5 hits on Erotic Arts.
GM: And they say that Yggdrasil grew three sizes that day

Inkubus: And they thank Rattatosco
Greenlight: He's in the top percentile of Rattata. He knows sword dance.

And thus, the partying commenced. After half a day, we reawaken in the real world.

Greenlight: Bwah! Giant squirrel!
Inkubus: (looks down at Bubbles) Urgh, can someone please clean up Bubbles
Greenlight: (looks at Inkubus' pants) And yourself.

This will no doubt add to our public notice - as would the way Inkubus body started enthusiastically humping thin air - but the students watching over us will hopefully only refer to us as Subjects 1, 2, etc, in their research papers.

Felix: But the dragons will take one look...
Inkubus: ... see a Metal Mage in the company of a Hermetic and a bunch of Adepts...
Felix: ...and go 'Ah, it's them'
Inkubus: 'Those arseholes'.

Greenlight: How to ID German infiltrators. Get them to sing the national anthem.
Inkubus: If they get it right, shoot them. No-one knows all the words of their own anthem.

Following an encounter with a Bard, we were interrogating him and he refused to talk. Finally I threatened him with a fate worse than death.
 
"If you don't talk, I start singing," I deadpanned.
 
"You wouldn't dare! You're tone-deaf and sing like cat's fighting!" he shrieked (DM hates it when I sing cuz I'm a deep Bass and most the music I like is High-Baritone and Tenor range).
 
Me: "Fine, if that's the way you want to play it... 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and nifty, and bright! And I pity, any girl who is not me..."
 
My Wife: "Fa-la-la-LAlala!"
 
Bard: "No! I'll talk, just please stop that horrible noise!"
 
Our DM got smacked in the head with my hat after the game.

The PCs are trading fire with a couple soldiers who have us pinned down.
 
Dan: I wait for one of them to stick his head up, and then I pop it off.
 
Attack Roll: 3.  House Ruled to double damage.  Hit Location: 4. Head. Double Damage.  Damage 2d6K Roll: 11.
 
Table: 
 
Dan: I said, 'I wait for one of them to stick his head up, and then I pop it off.'

Inkubus OoC: We still have to figure out how we met.
Felix OoC: Craigslist.
Inkubus OoC: I probably used my usual trick - turned up with a really expensive bottle of wine.

Inkubus: Felix and I both like the good things in life
Titus: It's your only good point
Inkubus: I like all the debased things in life too. I just like life

On Inkubus' ability to solve every problem with his 'charisma'

Inkubus: When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
Felix: 'the hammer is my penis'?

Anyway, regarding the latest job, getting the band back together. Specifically, the Elementals, back to their recording company. This we achieved by convincing them Shadowrunners were after them, staging a raid on our home, and dragging their unconscious behinds off to one of our hideouts.

We then reinforced this 'ransoming' them back to their company, thus making the company look good, and the band unlikely to try going independent again in future. Just a little bonus for our employer - it's little touches like that that ensure repeat business.

Inkubus: Not bad for having a concussion grenade go off between my legs.
Titus: How are the plums, anyway?

In fact, the client is so impressed he immediately offers us extra work - in order to promote the Elemental's latest album, they were going to be filming a music tri-vid. Of course, the band doing a runner wrecked the schedule, which is extremely inconvenient, since they were going to be filming outside Seattle's border in Salish-Shidhe (one of the Native American States) and the permit to do so has now expired. Perhaps our team can escort the band and film crew across anyway, so they can get the filming done anyway without anyone noticing?

Inkubus: I wonder where they want to film that's so important
Inkubus: Mt Rainier?Felix: Mt. Rainier? That's an active volcano isn't it?
Inkubus: We better not be filming there.
Felix: Wouldn't surprise me - they are the Elementals.

Felix: Bloody artistic integrity - can't they find a forest this side of the border to film in?

A major challenge, given half the team were the ones that 'kidnapped' them the day before. This new mission will need some thought before we accept - even though Labrat actually has dual citizenship of Seattle and Salish-Shidhe, we're going to need bribe money at the very least.

Greenlight: We're going to need extra money for this - one of us has already taken a stun grenade to the balls tonight.

GM: He's willing to let you keep the any vehicles and materiel you require.
Felix: 'We require a nuclear submarine.'

Inkubus: We'll use a novel technique to get past the border patrol - the truth. 'We HAD a permit, and these pricks went and run off to do their own thing - you know artistic types - and by the time we got them back the visa expired.'
Felix: 'and THIS prick insists on artistic integrity, so we have to film in your forest'.

Greenlight: Get your Inkubus Action Figure!
Felix: With Realistic Hip Thrusting Action!
Greenlight: Irrational Hatred of Scarves!
Felix: Dressed like a Chippendale Dancer!

Thus back to Titus' hide-out - the one with the sealed-up windows, sunlamps, and indoor farm. Of vegetables and chickens, not weed, since real food is rather more desirable than drugs these days. It also has something new - a vampiric assassin, who drops on us from the ceiling, spraying magic and automatic gunfire with gay abandon.

Inkubus OoC: Fangs for the Memories! One Shadowrunner! Two Shadowrunners! Three Shadowrunners! HAHAHAHA

FelixOoC: I wonder who we pissed off so much that they sent a vampire after us.

Despite the fact we outnumber him severely, the vampire is a formidable opponent. Even the fact that the entire team consists of mages and adepts didn't given him reason to pause.

Felix OoC: So six of us vs. one guy is a worse fight than us vs. several hundred bikers.
Inkubus OoC: Yup. Conservation of ninjitsu - 'hey, they only sent one ninja! ..... We're boned.'

Felix calls up a bound Earth Elemental, before being gunned down ( good thing he bought that very very expensive bulletproof coat ).

Labrat: So a big orange rocky thing has appeared, saying 'It's clobbering time!'?

Actually, no - the elemental itself is badly outclassed. Especially since the vampire can go to mist form and still cast magic. It's only Titus' desperate swing with his sledgehammer that saves us, since even in mist form, carriers of the vampire virus are still violently allergic to wood.

Labrat: We have wood for vampire

Greenlight manages to disarm and stun the bastard with a shock baton, and we tie him to a wooden chair for magical interrogation. We haven't figured out the allergy thing yet, but once we notice the haemorrhaging hit points we realise we'd better hurry. Since we don't dare risk untying him, either. Inkubus gets to work, telepathically ripping out the vampire's banking details, safety deposit box numbers, and anything else we can use. Such as the information that he was trying to kill us, as a favour for his friend Eclipse - the music exec that hired us.

Inkubus: Jeez, I know they say the music industry is a bunch of bloodsuckers, I didn't think they meant it literally.

We are more than slightly pissed off - after going to all that trouble to make the exec look good, being assassinated as loose ends is a bit aggravating. Naturally, we intend to reciprocate.

Inkubus: We'll send him a photo of his assassin tied to a chair
Greenlight: With a caption - See You Soon

Labrat: I'll include a musical sting 'nana nana, nana nana, hey hey hey, goodbye'

To add insult to injury, we'll 'rescue' that band and help them go independent.

Inkubus: We're going to rescue them. I 'hired' the very Shadowrunners that kidnapped them in the first place
Felix: Schlock Mercenary -
All: WE GET PAID TWICE
Inkubus: Do the happy dance, Tagon!

Labrat finishes off the dying assassin in a manner that would make Cronenberg or Kurosawa proud.

Greenlight: Jesus Christ, Labrat, what the fuck?!?! I thought you were going to cut his throat, not cut his fucking head off! Are you fucking Yakuza!?!

Hopefully, nobody will catch HMHVV from all the blood that sprays around.

So, time for revenge - Inkubus and Felix will set up shop a few kilometres away with telescopes, where they can overlook the exec's penthouse apartment in an otherwise empty ten-storey block. Line-of-sight magic is so damn useful. Labrat and Greenlight will go up the inside of the building, working their way past any security. Titus and Warhammer will climb up the outside. Then, when we're all in position, we send the 'Seeing You Soon' gif to the target and each other, to scare the execs shitless and then render him lifeless while he's panicking.

Greenlight: This is a military-grade lock. I've only heard of these things in a theoretical 'zine. This might actually be a challenge.
Labrat: *ClickclickclickPOP* Or not.

As it happens, our elaborate efforts are wasted - he's not home. His giant salamander fire elemental is.

Felix: He's got a fucking pet crocodile!

There's a naga too, hiding in the teepee/medicine lodge set up in one of the rooms, but after he sees what happens to the salamander he surrenders without a fight. At least this explains how the exec knew where to send the vampire - he's a magician. And according to certain notes on his computer, found while the team is busy ransacking the place, he's intending to use the band to awaken an ancient and probably evil spirit called Twilight.

Greenlight: Eclipse? Twilight?
Inkubus: Noooooooo! The Sparkles! The Sparkles!
Felix: And their video director is Lupus.
Inkubus: Damn you Stephanie Meyers!

It's also a full moon. But at least this explains why he tried to have us killed - we were rather more important loose ends than we thought.

GM: Who enters the teepee first?
All: *point at the troll*

Kaa, the Naga, happily comes with us. He should find the sunlamps and pond at Titus' hide-out quite comfortable. Such are the drawbacks of using intelligent creatures as your slaves - they tend to resent it.

Titus: Kaa... Which is... Ukrainian for Penis?
All: *give Titus a Look*

Inkubus: Hang about, I've got the badge - Nagas Are People Too

Just prior to setting the apartment on fire and blaming the salamander, one last ransacking for anything valuable, anything magical, anything that should be given to the band, and anything we can use for a long distance magical attack on the exec. Hair and fingernail clippings would be good.

Felix: Did you check the drain in his shower?
Greenlight: I was afraid to touch it
Labrat: He was afraid it would become sentient and attack him.

So off on a cross-border roadtrip, to stop a major ritual, kill a backstabbing exec, liberate a band, and avoid whatever werewolves, snipers, and other protections Eclipse has arranged. There's no point telling the authorities - even if they believed us it would take too long for them to get off their collective asses.