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Xavier Onassiss

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About Xavier Onassiss

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    Grumpy Auld Phart
  • Birthday 08/19/1967

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  1. It's an all-too common occurrence in some parts of the country. I keep getting questions about my curious driving habit of activating my turn signal blinkers exactly once, about a half a second before changing lanes, and then doing so, shall we say... vigorously. I learned it's pretty much the only way to get the drop on the "blinker assassins." Yes, there's actually a name for these miscreants. They're the jerk-wipes in the adjacent lane who stomp on their gas pedal the instant they say a lane-change signal, as if they're on a crusade to prevent any and all would-be encroachments against the sanctity of their precious lane. May they all crash and burn.
  2. I am, in fact, my own evil twin. Which simplifies everything.
  3. Guess who gets the privilege of operating those detention centers? I can barely use a euphemism like "detention centers" with a straight face, so excuse me for a minute while I step away from the keyboard for a primal scream or something....
  4. My conclusion is that his hearing went bad at a very convenient moment. (for him)
  5. Another GOP seat may be up for grabs. Who didn't see this one coming? Aside from Congressman Nunes, I mean. https://shareblue.com/failed-memo-stunt-leaves-nunes-in-danger-of-losing-his-seat/
  6. Trump never gets tired of reminding us all how superior he is. Mainly because he isn't.
  7. That would be pepperoni. I nuke it for about half a minute to remove excess grease before it goes on the pizza.
  8. I used to tell people who asked what I want for Christmas that I don't need anything, just get me a pizza. Now we make one from scratch every year because my wife understands me. Merry Christmas!
  9. Update: the robots are now unemployed. https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/12/after-outcry-non-profit-stops-use-of-security-robot-to-oust-homeless/
  10. When I went to Canada, someone thought I was Quebecois because of my hat.
  11. Sanity points notwithstanding, I'm gonna have a look at this on my day off.
  12. Urban Legends of the Fall of the Roman Empire Records Strikes Back to the Once and Future King of the Hills Have Eyes Wide Shutter Island of Dr. Moreau
  13. This is why we have laws. This is corrosive effect of having a class of citizens who are above the law. And this is something everyone should have seen coming decades ago. Now it's probably too late to change course.
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