death tribble

What does it take to run a grocery store?
 
-A Manager: check. Good old guy, but that line about how "this is the last Christmas I'm going to spend at work?" That might be a gentle hint that he's retiring soon. 
-An Assistant Manager. Non-union, with a "ten hour commitment." That is, he's supposed to be in the store for ten hours a day. Perhaps he even is --but the last shift I worked with him, he spent three hours in the store (working with night crew, not during open hours). Highlight: he fell off a ladder while trying to stock shelves. Since then, he's been off for ten days of vacation. When he called the store on Thursday to intimate that he might need an extra few days for familly emergency related reasons, the boss was all, like, "Sure, whatever. Take all the time you need. I'm here alone, and....Wait, the next part is the quiet part that I only say in my head."
-A First Assistant, union man. Who was just off for three weeks on sick leave, came back for five days of work, and is now off for three weeks of vacation. Uhm, hi?
-A Management Trainee, the next generation of retail management. He's just back from his latest annual progress review, in which he and the other three MTs for the District's twelve stores were called to account. (No, it's not just your math. Four is less than twelve. Management Trainees aren't exactly thick on the ground, any more.) 
 
So, anyway, you may be wondering about the whole "multiple annual progress reviews." Considering just how rigorous retail middle management actually is, I think that the cynic might suggest that the second annual performance review really ought to consist of the District Manager growling: "Are you wasting our time or yours?" That, it turns out, is correct. He is going to be moving on to a position in the company more suited to his capabilities. No more Management Trainee.
 
--Me.
 
So. Looking a little thin at the top. Trouble? Not a bit of it! Soon as young B_ graduates high school in June, he can be an assistant manager! Why, the year after that, the occupational safety guys will think that he's old enough to operate a garbage compactor on his own!
 

 
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AennSuN89II

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxb1P9-8pT0

Can you tell me how to get to.... Westeros?
 

Here is the link to Ace of Spades
http://www.herogames.com/forums/topic/90570-ace-of-spades-champions-complete-work-in-progress/
 
Twist of Fate
 
Twist of Fate is one of the founding members of the group and the one who needs the others because her power is that of altering fate itself so that what happened either did not happen or turned out a different way. She can thus improve what her companions do or what happens to her companions. Otherwise she has some martial arts as defensive powers and some gadgets to offset damage so that she can stay operational. She is often frightened but is also a bit of an adrenaline junkie. So the whole supervillain lifestyle appeals to her.

https://twitter.com/HCMarks/status/584887099754614784

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Cast of characters: 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step / Investigator Davis: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Jonathan Bridges / Happy Jack / Detective Williams: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Noggin (NPC): a fixer with contacts at Renraku
Danial Simpson (NPC): a pudgy, middle-aged junior exec at Renraku
Victoria Delling (NPC): the missing girl with the missing gift
 
Missing Blood - Part 1
 
Noggin: "There's a junior exec at Renraku who needs a personal job done. I checked him out for you. He's clean as an elven baby's bottom. He's never dealt with runners before, and I'm sure he never thought he'd need their resources."
Jonathan Bridges: "If he's that clean, how did he become a corporate exec?"
Noggin: "Nepotism."
 
Noggin: "He wants this quiet. Real quiet. He wouldn't give me the specifics. Just that he gave a present to a girl, and now the girl is missing and he needs the present back."
Jonathan Bridges: "Is this the kind of 'quiet' where the job is done with a minimum of fuss? ... Or the kind where we 'silence' the girl and everyone she may have told about the exec's indiscretion?"
 
Jonathan Bridges met with Danial Simpson in the Renraku Arcology parking garage.
 
Danial Simpson had given Victoria Delling, his mistress, a unique necklace. His wife found the receipt and demanded an explanation. Danial panicked and said it was an anniversary present. Danial needed the team to find the necklace and return it in three days, so he could give it to his wife.
 
And the nepotism played a part in Simpson's predicament. His father-in-law had given him his job.
 
Danial Simpson: "I'm offering you 6,000 nuyen for the return of the necklace. I'm prepared to pay 2,000 nuyen now, and the remainder when we meet Friday evening."
Jonathan Bridges: "6,000 nuyen total? My suit costs more than that."
Danial Simpson: "Um ... ah ... I realize you may be accustomed to receiving more than that, but this should be a simple job."
Jonathan Bridges: "If Ms. Delling is still in the Seattle area and still in possession of the necklace, it will be a reasonably simple job." (pause) "If she's fled to another country, we could spend more than that on travel fees." (pause) "And based on what you've told me, it sounds even more likely that she has dumped the necklace. If she has a copy of the receipt, then she might sell it to a legitimate dealer ... and they would store something of that value in a vault."
Danial Simpson: "Well, you could keep anything else you stole from the vault...."
Jonathan Bridges: "If I want to break into vaults and keep the contents as pay, I can do that easily enough without bothering to find the vault your necklace is in."
 
Jonathan Bridges: "If Victoria doesn't have a receipt, then people most willing to touch a unique item like this would be organized crime ... the mafia, yakuza, maybe a Seoulpa gang."
Danial Simpson: "Um ... well ... I can't offer you more than that. My wife is now suspicious of me, and she's paying attention to my finances. She's going to notice if I pay much more money than that."
 
The matter of pay was resolved when Danial agreed to become a contact and feed Jonathan any useful information he heard.
 
Victoria had stopped taking Danial's calls. A quick astral recon of her apartment in the Barrens showed that she had cleared out of there as well.
 
Happy Jack: "I'm going to disguise myself as a Detective Williams from Lone Star when I interview her friends and neighbors."
Audacity Jane: "And pretend you're officially investigating a theft? I doubt they'll rat her out."
Happy Jack: (grinning) "I'm more subtle than that. I believe she was a witness to a crime. I'm trying to find her and interview her." (pause) "And hopefully I can find her before the murderer does...."
 
According to the landlord, a friend of Victoria's had called to say she needed to move out suddenly, due to a death in the family. A moving van showed up the next day and collected all of her belongings.
 
The landlord was able to direct "Detective Williams" to Mr. Denton, a neighbor Victoria was friends with. Mr. Denton was a troll with 18 cats.
 
Mr. Denton: "Feel free to push them out of the way and take a seat. They don't mind."
Detective Williams: (looking at the cat hair covering every surface in the apartment) "No thanks. I'd rather not turn my jacket into a fur coat."
 
According to Mr. Denton, Victoria left her cat with him, saying she'd be gone for two days. It had now been four days, she hadn't returned, and the movers hadn't collected her cat. Therefore, he was convinced that something terrible had happened to her.
 
But he was able to provide some leads to other people.
 
Mr. Denton: "She was into tarot cards. She went to a Madame Ulishia regularly. I think the whole thing is silly, of course, but then I live with dozens of cats to keep me sane."
Eye Spy (ooc): Living with dozens of cats is a sign of sanity?
 
Mr. Denton: "There was something else she mentioned when I first met her. A policlub she had just joined."
Detective Williams: "I'll go out on a limb and guess that it wasn't Humanis Policlub."
 
Mr. Denton didn't like policlubs in general, so they never discussed it again. And he couldn't remember which policlub. But he did know that she was employed by the policlub.
 
No-Step: (coming back from astral recon) "He likes to talk to his cats."
Eye Spy: "Being nuts will do that."
No-Step: "It may be nuts, but it's useful. People don't bother lying to their cats." (pause) "He's genuinely concerned about her. More importantly, he didn't pick up the phone and try to warn Victoria about us."
 
Astral recon at the fortune teller's did not go as smoothly.
 
No-Step: "Crap! She's a practioner. And she assenced me while I was in there."
Dent: "She's not going to believe you're Lone Star, Jack."
Happy Jack / Detective Williams: "Yes she will. No-Step, disguise yourself like you're from Lone Star's paranormal investigatons division. You're going to be Investigator Davis, assisting me in my investigation."
Dent: "We won't be able to spy on her afterwards."
Eye Spy: "You can't. I can. I'll have a drone use a laser mike. You magick types tend to forget about tech solutions ... and I bet she will as well."
 
Madame Ulishia was a harder nut to crack than the landlord or Mr. Denton.
 
Madame Ulishia: "I never give out confidential about the people who come to me ... unless its very important." (long pause) "How important is it to you."
Happy Jack realized she was looking for a bribe.
Detective Williams: "It's important enough to get you thrown in jail for obstruction of justice if I even think you're withholding information." (pause) "And if you're unfamiliar with the special precautions taken when we incarcerate someone who is magickally active, I'm sure Investigator Davis would be happy to fill you in."
 
Madame Ulishia: "I read in the cards that someone was following Victoria. She confirmed it. Then last week, Detective Bambra, a private investigator, came in and starting asking questions about her. I suspected that he was the one following her, so I told him nothing."
Detective Williams: "Did you bother to call us about this suspicious individual who was stalking your client?"
Madame Ulishia: "You?"
Detective Williams: "Us. Lone Star."
Madame Ulishia: "Um ... no."
 
Madame Ulishia didn't know anything about the policlub that Victoria belonged to, or anything about her employer.
 
No-Step: (after they left Madame Ulishia's) "What were you going to do if she had called Lone Star about that Detective Bambra."
Happy Jack: "Is she eavesdropping astrally?"
No-Step: (astrally assencing the area) "No."
Happy Jack: "I was going to come back later, tell her that there was no record of her ever making that call, and accuse her of interfering with our investigation. Use that accusation to rattle more information out of her."
No-Step: "But what if she actually had called? Wouldn't she know you were lying?"
Happy Jack: "Do you think Lone Star's call center always properly logs each call?"
Eye Spy: "I don't think there's a call center on the planet that does that."

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Cast of characters:
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Young Elven Technologists (YET): An elven policlub that tried to refute common stereotypes about elves.
Lancelot Windtree (NPC): An elven mage who tried to embody every stereotype of elves ... particularly the negative ones.
 
Are They Framed YET
This module was previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
The team had been hired to do a run against the Young Elven Technologists to frame them for a crime nearly identical to the ones they had been getting away with. In order to perfect the frame, the decking had to be done from inside YET's building.
 
Planning the mission....
 
Happy Jack: "This mission has the best chance of succeeding if we can get in and out without them even knowing we were there."
Audacity Jane: "So we wait until tomorrow night."
Byte Force: "No. We should do it this morning, between 5am and 7am. I don't know any deckers that get up that early." (pause) "Though I do know a few who stay up that late."
 
Dent: (to Byte Force) "I keep telling you, you need to become a combat decker. Learn some infiltration skills."
Byte Force: "Why would I waste my time learning those?"
Dent: "For jobs like these. We have to sneak you inside YET's building so you can do the run from there."
Byte Force: "I found it more useful to invent this little device." (holds up his 'device') "You can sneak into their building, plug it into a dataport, and it will look like that's where my cyberdeck is located."
Audacity Jane: "What is it?"
Byte Force: "It's a complex invention known as 'an antenna'."
 
Audacity Jane: "I can get us in through the back door."
Happy Jack: "Don't go in there. Use the front door instead."
Audacity Jane: "Why?"
Happy Jack: "The back door is in the kitchen. You'll run into anyone who has the munchies."
Dent: "Not everyone eats like you do, Jack."
Happy Jack: "Okay. I'll revise that. You'll run into one of the troll street samurai who has the munchies."
Audacity Jane: "I'll get us in through the front door."
 
Dent and No-Step did thorough astral reconnaisance of YET's building.
 
No-Step: "... and we weren't able to learn the layout of Ehran's suite, because the walls are magickally warded, so we can't get in."
Eye Spy: "If you can't get in, how can you be sure that it's Ehran's suite?"
Dent: "It's the only room in the living areas that they bothered to put a ward around."
 
Eye Spy's drones were able to contribute to the scouting, since a massive skylight allowed her to see into the indoor gardens that filled one third of the building.
 
Dent: "I thought YET was trying to refute elven stereotypes."
 
Dent and Jane had no difficulty getting into YET's building, sneaking through the indoor garden, slipping upstairs, and getting into Ehran's quarters.
 
Dent: (whispered over the radio link) "This is like taking candy from a baby."
Byte Force: "Obviously you've never tried to take candy from a baby. They may not put up a fight, but they make a big fuss."
 
Byte Force's run through YET's system went smoothly, which was suprising, given that it was created and populated by a group of deckers. After finding the backdoor passcode to Dassurn, Byte Force began his run into Dassurn's system ... while still plugged in to the dataport in Ehran's suite.
 
Even on a smooth run, things can get complicated in a hurry.
 
Eye Spy: "A group of people just pulled up on motorcycles outside the building. There's ten of them."
Audacity Jane: "Are they coming into the building?"
Eye Spy: "They're parking and getting off their motorcycles. They're moderately armed ... submachine guns." (long pause) "Make that heavily armed. One has a rocket launcher!"
 
Audacity Jane: "Is Byte Force still doing his run?"
Eye Spy: "Yes."
Audacity Jane: "Drek. He probably doesn't even know he needs to hurry." (pause) "Jack, as soon as Byte Force is done with the run, we may need a diversion to get out of here."
Happy Jack: "Okay."
[bOOOOM]
The building shook. Plaster cracked and dust fell from the walls and ceiling.
Audacity Jane: "That's too soon!"
Dent: "We're not ready to go yet!"
Happy Jack: "That wasn't me."
Eye Spy: "The guy with the rocket launcher blew a hole in the front of the building." (pause) "And they just ran in through the hole."
 
Happy Jack had been sitting in an alley across the street, disguised as a homeless troll. Listening to the shooting and shouting coming from YET's building, he picked up an important detail.
 
Happy Jack: "They're the Association Para-Noblis. Those elf posers who kill real elves for not being elven enough."
No-Step: "I was hoping we had ruined them."
Happy Jack: "Well ... there are only ten of them left."
 
Deep inside Dassurn's network, Byte Force triggered Mr. Johnson's program, which immediately began draining all of Dassurn's liquid assets. After watching a moment in awe, Byte Force raced over to a nearby Trace and Report security program.
Byte Force: (slapping the Trace and Report program with his avatar's tail) "Wakey, wakey!"
 
Byte Force: (jacking out of the matrix) "Mission accomplished. Grab my antenna and sneak back out. Don't forget to lock Ehran's door behind you."
Audacity Jane: "We'd love to do just that, but the exit is blocked. Most of the elves and trolls are covering the garden from the balcony. The rest are covering the stairs. We would have to pass through a raging gun battle."
No-Step: "Can you use smoke or invisibility to get past them?"
Dent: "YET has two elven mages. They'll be able to assence us."
 
And one of the elven mages was making his presence known....
 
Lancelot Windtree: (yelling at the troll street samurai) "Why are you staying up here? Go down and shoot them."
troll street samurai: "That's a stupid tactic."
Lancelot Windtree: "You're too stupid for tactics. That's why we hired you."
Audacity Jane: (quietly to Dent) "I forsee a 'friendly fire' episode in that elf's future."
 
The exit may have been blocked, but there were other options....
 
Audacity Jane: "I have detcord. I'll just make a new exit."
Happy Jack: "Don't. If you make an exit, they will know you were inside. I'll make the exit from out here."
No-Step: "They will still know we were here if you blow a hole in the building."
Happy Jack: "The APN posers already blew one hole in the building. Who is going to assume that somebody else made the second hole?"
 
Jack blew a hole into the room across the hall from Ehran's. After Dent and Jane climbed down out of the hole and ran for cover, Dent couldn't stop giggling.
 
Audacity Jane: "I think he's suffering from hysteria."
No-Step: "I'll slap him out of it."
Audacity Jane: "We can take turns."
Eye Spy: "What about the APN? Are we just going to leave them?"
Dent: (still giggling) "I already took care of them."
Everyone stared at Dent.
Dent: "Before I left the building, I gave one final order to the hearth spirit. I told him to wait one minute, then use his Accident power on them."
Eye Spy: "I hope its a really serious accident."
[bOOOM]
No-Step: "I'm guessing it was ... because I've never seen a 'minor' accident involving a rocket launcher."

And the other Shadowrun 2070 game, where an alternate version of Ripper and an entirely different team of runners are still slogging through the mysterious music disc adventure, and trying to find out just how trouble they're in, and is there any other way we can make a profit on this job?

Ryleigh: 'For Enlightenment, Seek out Absent Friends...' Absent Friends... like dead people... something buried in a cemetary instead of a body?
Dr. Rubicante: Maybe we have to trap a ghost.
Shirley Temple: Ghosts are just free anscestor spirits
Ryleigh: I'm no ghosthunter.
Dr. Rubicante: Not my expertise anyway.
Ripper K: McCartney is actually dead - it's obvious

Dr. Rubicante: The only musical knowledge I have are of smash hits from the early 2000s and Harry Potter movie OSTs.

At least searching the web helps, even if Ares Macrotech bought out Google years ago.

Dr. Rubicante: I'm going to walk around while Aresearching "Jet Black and the Shadows". I'm somewhat thrilled that in 50 years, 'googling' is still as effective as ever.

It occurs to Ripper that this whole mystery may be a scheme whereby the vanished JetBlack can be tracked down by his former bandmates. The misogynistic elf in the party suggests we question the woman who won the auction, and that Ripper impersonated at the disastrous hand-off.

Dr. Rubicante: If all else fails, rut what we need out of her. Women love being overpowered by men with big dicks. Excepting lesbians, of course.
Ryleigh: That's what I call a stereotype.
Dr. Rubicante: Have you ever been with a woman?
Ryleigh: No.
Dr. Rubicante: That is exactly how my wife was.
Ripper K: That's why she divorced you then?
Dr. Rubicante: She's dead.
Ripper K: huh. You must have been cuckolded by somebody REALLY hung then.

Who was that woman, anyway? One of JetBlack's former coworkers?

GM: Corp decker. Ties to music collectors and industry. Looks like she was just the highest bidder. You'll be nice enough to return the hundreds of thousands of nuyen she paid for the disc since you had access to Loomis' commlink, and thus the other end of that transaction, won't you?
Ripper K: hundreds of THOUSANDS????
Ryleigh: Jacking Nuyen only seems advisable if it can't be traced back to our wallets.
Ripper K: We could freaking retire
Dr. Rubicante: Not me... a drop in the bucket.
Ripper K: Ok, does anybody alive actually know we were there?
Dr. Rubicante: Dooooes anyone have a proxy wallet we can use?
GM: Be nice, I'd like to not have the runners find a way to retire before the end of the first adventure
Ripper K: Um... she did get a glimpse of my face...
Ryleigh: You know.. I'd think she'd be suspicous if she wakes up to find a misfit group working together and guesses at our occupation.
Ripper K: and with that much at stake she could probably hire her own team to hunt me down...
Dr. Rubicante: I could use some good karma.
Ripper K: maybe there's a finder's fee for keeping her alive?
Ryleigh: if Ripper wasn't our Face... I'd suggest him playing dead while someone interrogates her.
Shirley Temple: Ransoming corp citizens in most corporate zones is an immediate death sentence
Dr. Rubicante: There had better be. Not only did you 'save' her, we're returning her cash... We can always donate it all to charity.
Ripper K: snerk
Ryleigh: All we do need is money laundry. Using a 'charity' isn't a bad idea...
Dr. Rubicante: Donating the money gives us karma, right? 8D
Shirley Temple: "...we see you used the corporate black ops fund to donate to a.........aging and retired big dicked porno stars fund......care to explain?"
Dr. Rubicante: "We're trying to cure gingers."
Ryleigh: Let's buy a carwash....
GM: Returning it would get you more, since, y'know, not ruining a woman's life
Dr. Rubicante: Well, let's not ruin the poor woman's life, I guess.
Shirley Temple: hmm, default on our current johnson for a finders fee from the elf lady. hard choices
Ryleigh: Since she's seen Ripper's face and we don't want her after him... maybe we should convince her he's dead and someone pretends he found her unconscious
Shirley Temple: the doorman saw the orca.
Dr. Rubicante: The doorman's still alive, right? I forget. People exploded.
GM: yes, the doorman saw EVERYONE.
Dr. Rubicante: Did he like my outfit?
GM: *sigh*

Ripper K: I suppose I could go wait for her to wake up, and catch her as she tries to flee town ahead of the corp assassins

Perhaps we should go question JetBlack's surviving bandmates, including one Marli? But the graveyard first - it's the appropriate time of night, and an opportunity to needle Rubicante.

Ripper K: Seems like a good idea - Marli must be nearly your age by now, Vell - eldsters need their sleep. And when we go by the graveyard we can visit all your friends.

Ripper K: This is a very badly laid out cemetery
Dr. Rubicante: Pretty though.
Ripper K: Unless the earthquakes shuffled all the headstones around?
Dr. Rubicante: Pretty spooky.
Ripper K: Good thing we don't live in San Francisco, or we'd have to drive out to Colma
Ryleigh: JB supposedly was someone famous... so the memorial stone should be fancy and easily visible.
Dr. Rubicante: Those aren't headstones. Those are each a single, flesh-eating animal.

Ripper K examines the nearest headstone.

Ripper K: 'Not Dead, Merely Sleeping' You're not fooling anybody, lady
Ryleigh: "Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising."
Hogfather: "Here lies Lester Moore. Four slugs from a 44, no Les, no more."


Ripper: Wow, it needed a six-foot plot? I suddenly feel inadequate

Dr. Rubicante: "Here lies Verne Anchors, who died as he was born; crying and covered in his mother's blood."

GM: It's just a cemetary, dude.
Ripper K: *starts ticking off his fingers * vampires, ghosts, ghouls -
Dr. Rubicante: WHAR
Ripper K: behind you!
Shirley Temple: Shush cetacean beefcake, you'll bring us bad luck
GM: BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS naw, i'm kidding.
Shirley Temple: No brains here, just a bunch of frat members partying in a graveyard on a drunken dare
Hogfather: So, they really keep dead bodies here? Isn't that... just an invitation for grave robbers?

The JetBlack Memorial reads, “The stars shine brightest onthe blackest of nights.” It is also covered with flowers, mementos, and notes from admirers, even twenty-two years later. Considerable time is wasted searching the memorial for clues.

Shirley Temple: You, Spirit, check underneath and report back the content
Hogfather: Much better than digging it up
GM: Watcher Spirit comes back seconds later. "Lots of Dirt, Miss!" *poof*
Ripper K: hmm
Dr. Rubicante: "Klaatu... verata... nikto."
Ripper K: Anybody know what the Dwarvish for Friend is?

Eventually the GM admits the entire graveyard scene was a waste of time, and distraction.

Hogfather: OF COURSE! The graveyard was a giant aquarium, it all makes sense now.

D&D continues, with a trip back to town to find out more about the political angles of the situation, before we head off to meet a druid for info on the land surrounding King Gurnt's stronghold. These sessions tend to be shorter than the others, mostly because they come at the end of particularly exhausting six-day weeks, including overtime. I must be insane.

Urlon: We really need a Wand of Cure Light Wounds
Kavorog: 'Cleric in a Can'

We do stop by that dragon's lair for a chat - befriending it now might pay off later.

GM: You're an elf – you can live long enough to ride the dragon into battle one day. And you're a gnome, you might live long enough... to grow up.

Directions to certain dubious businesses in town.

Lamech: Just across the road from the Teamster's Union. And that new bridge.

Urlon: We think they've been kidnapped by the goblin king.
Dwarf: What, David Bowie?

Lamech: I hear the other dragonborn got exiled for something he did to a kobold.
Ryck: Why would he get kicked out of town for that?
Lamech: It's more what he DID with the kobold.
Urlon: We should have made Kavorog tell us why he got kicked out of town.
Lamech: Eh - If we sit around telling everybody everything we've done we'll be here all week.

GM: You have a name for your adventuring company yet?
Lamech: 'The Bastards of Carnage'

A warning sign at the deserted village where the druid hangs out – beware of plant monsters, and zombies.

All: …....
Lamech: Well, at least somebody hung around long enough to actually put up the sign.

We are indeed attacked by plant monsters - how to respond?

GM: You could put it in a pot and teach it to dance

GM: That would be the unluckiest monster in the game. 'We're being attacked by a giant marijuana golem' 'Cool man'

Lamech uses Shatter on the twig creature hordes.

Lamech: Matchsticks

GM: Say it with flowers – give her a triffid.

But since the explosion will have roused anything in the village, we flee to the nearest building to take advantage of the narrow access. And discover the zombies are in the buildings.

Lamech: I thought the undead were supposed to be outside the building trying to get in!

After the ensuing carnage and bastardry, the druid turns up in the doorway - unwise given we're still buzzing with adrenaline.

Lamech: He's lucky he didn't get shot in the face, frankly.

Black Crusade : The Ace of Discordia
In which the PCs, in Lord-Captain Daniels' ship the Obsidian Resolve, are heading towards the Fringe War. The war in question is complicated by the three-dimensional nature of interplanetary warfare, the use of warp routes to bypass the enemy, and fact that it's a three-way meatgrinder between human separatists, Orks, and an Imperium that won't commit sufficient forces to the front because it's a useful excuse to divert massive amounts of troops to the secret Jericho Reach front on the far side of the Galaxy. Naturally, Dark Eldar raiders and Chaos cultists can't help dipping their wick in either. In the case of the PCs, they want to start bringing Imperial regiments back to Sinophia, on furlough, AND start smuggling materiel to the separatists. But I do get them to come up with a few regiments from the Only War 40K RPG system first.

GM: The reason I want you to make a regiment or two is because I want you to be emotionally invested in what happens next.

Eniek's Player: This regiment you want us to make – is it going to be on our side?
GM: I'm not saying. *evil grin*
Eniek's Player: F**k! Now it can't be too OP.
Digna's Player: Yes, I remember my reaction when you said the Millennial Warden Space Marines were operating in the area – because I remember how good I'd made them
GM: You can be quite certain you'll be running into Millennial Wardens in this campaign too.
Digna's Player: F*******k.

They will be encountering the 1st Temisian Mechanised Infantry, a regiment Weldun created for the Deathwatch RPG game.

Digna's Player: We do not want to run up against these guys. “What's that coming over the hill? It looks like a land raider....... f**k, run!”

The others look like they'll be amusing as allies or antagonists too - they include the Tallarn 288th Rapid Recon – a buggy mounted scout unit; the 8th Longshot Artillery – very long-range precision artillery unit with forward observers with tracked bomb drones; a Guerrilla warfare regiment who like nothing better than sneaking in close for assassinations; a troop of Feral World skirmishers; and specialist Electrovox troopers who tap enemy comms, cut of lines of command, and pick off the units they just isolated. They already had the regiment they'd made for the Only War game they're already playing in - a unit of suspiciously well-equipped Dragoons riding giant alien cats that are faster than Dark Eldar jetbikes. Their habit of keeping the cats in barracks does not endear them to the other regiments.

Most amusing of all, a unit of Ogryn Drop Troops. Not very many of them, but mostly because of their tendency to wander off after a battle.

Digna: The biggest problem is trying to round them all up again afterwards XD
GM: That and the claustrophobia. Trying to get them onto the planes in the first place - Ogryns don't like confined spaces. 'It's dark in dere!'
Eniek: They don't much like falling through the sky much either XD

The nearest staging planet for the war is Cauldron, in an unusual system with two pair of Double Worlds - large rocky worlds with huge moons, and all four with biospheres. All of them are almost uninhabitably hot, however, thanks to their proximity to their red giant sun, and only one is verdant - Cauldron itself. Cauldron has additional problems - repeated attempts to settle the world over the millennia have been foiled by the effect the planet has on higher technology.

Digna: Wait, the planet is anathema to technology and they're using it as a staging post for the Fringe War? What complete IDIOT... wait..... what BRILLIANT cultist set that up?

What reason will Digna give her superiors for leaving Sinophia and heading the front?

GM: Tell them you heard reports the Sinophian tech-priests were planning to fit the governor with volitor circuits?

Eniek: Will we shortly be acquired a number of people that won't be missed. But fret not - I won't be taking them from the crew
Digna: How very considerate. And we will be shipping wounded soldiers around soon enough.
GM: 'I'm sorry Major, this patient just died - I'll have him taken down to the morgue.' 'What's that screaming?' 'Air released from the corpse - happens all the time'
Daniels: 'And that one?' 'Vox-ghost'

Maintaining morale on the Obsidian Resolve.

GM: And the Melodium plays 'Everything Is Awesome' on perpetual loop?

The Sinophia nobility are invited to contribute to the war effort, and more to the point, open trade with the war economy. Their response is to deliver thousands of Sinophian Highland sheep to the spaceport. This raises all sorts of problems for the cultists, who are really not planning on shipping livestock.

GM: Live Sheep Exports.

GM: No, LIVE Sheep, not LOVE sheep.
Digna: I dunno, you hear things about soldiers...

Eniek: I can see it now. 'Sir, the Gellar Field has weakened!''Where?' 'In the vicinity of the main cargo hold' ' .... great.'
GM: And the deranged daemon-possessed sheep go berserk, attacking the crew and biting through chain-halberds...

Eniek: The Imperium is surprising liberal about some things.
GM: Unless you're screwing xenos. So as long as they're not ALIEN sheep...

Rather than try and keep the sheep alive, they instead just opt to open the airlocks.

GM: Freeze-dried mutton.

Skerrit reads the cards and gets a puzzling glimpse of the future - apparently the Imperial forces on Cauldron are near to crumbling, the PCs most important weapon will be money, their plot will be complicated by aliens, and, apparently, 'The Lord Of Blood Will Do Your Bidding'.

And of course the Imperial authorities, such as the Navy ships patrolling the Cauldron system, will react badly to rogue psykers like Skerrit. He hides, while the others give the naval officers a tour of the ship.

Skerrit: I'm in a different part of the ship.
Daniels: And this is the lavatory... which is currently occupied.

Sheep slaughtering traditions.

Daniels: We had to point the ship towards Mecca as we did it.
Digna: Mars.
Eniek: Mecca, Mars, Terra...
GM: It's all the same direction from this far out

It's not safe to keep the Obsidian Resolve in a low orbit - the giant moon makes orbits unstable. Of course, given Digna is from the Lathes, three forge worlds orbiting each other, she's not much concerned.

Digna: Ah, a normal system, gravitationally.

What isn't normal is being shot down as their lander is overflying a large expanse of supposedly unoccupied jungle. At least the missile didn't actually explode, but it still cripples their vehicle. The lander goes down hard, in what turns out to be deep swamp, but only the pilot and Skerrit are casualties.

GM: You shouldn't be able to see the back of your own knee.
Skerrit: I'm glad I'm in too much shock to feel this.
Daniels: There's going to be nothing left of him after all the patching up you have to do.
Digna: Skeleton next.
Eniek: He's going to be my first test subject for fleshgrafting.
Daniels: Willing, too.
Eniek: On the other hand, if you're NOT willing I get a bonus to the rolls.

Skerrit: How are you going to replace my skeleton?
Digna: We freeze each section, liquify the bones, and replace them with metal.
Skerrit: 😧

Digna OoC: If I can get a grav-plate from the Lathe Worlds and Stasis Field with a timer from Belacane, i can make a doomsday weapon. Up, down, up, down, up, down.
GM: An what will you call it - Mjölnir?
Digna OoC: Yup.

Digna: Our pilot is becoming one with the local ecosystem.

Digna: This is what happens when we don't sacrifice to the Lord of Fate before a mission.

Digna tests the depths of the swamp while Eniek prepares a raft - Cauldron's gravity is too high for either of them to just hover the others to shore.

GM: Something pulls hard on your mechadendrite.
Digna: Apparently I can go fishing with this.

A few shots scare off the giant armour-plated salamanders, and the wreck sinks into the morass with appropriate blooping noises.

Digna: Well, you've lost a lander, Daniels.
Daniels: And a pilot.
Digna: You've lost a lander. Pilots are easier to come by than Aquila Landers.

They now face a march of at least one hundred miles to the Imperial base on Cauldron, with no idea of what is lurking between them and safety. This should be fun... for me at least.

French D&D Art

The Godzilla cube is nifty too...
 
http://news.yahoo.com/everyone-drink-whisky-rocks-3d-printed-ice-cube-215503102.html;_ylt=A0LEVjCDNSFVUaUAWngnnIlQ

The Gates of Paradise by Ghiberti
 

 
The Gates of Hell by Rodin
 

Walmart has it on sale for $6.85/can.

Phillies unveil new ridiculous 9-patty cheeseburger

Team Clorox. But they almost backed out when they refused to change it to Formula 409.
 
NT: Subtle signs your weekend of binge-watching Game of Thrones is not going as planned.