Representation Matters

[eepjr24]

On 6/16/2018 at 5:38 PM, Cancer said:

Thanks for having the confidence in us to open up in this community, though I admit I take such ... with caution.  I have been on the Internet since the early 1980s, and ... well, I am conditioned to retain skepticism about declarations of personal information, and I am not really comfortable with them.  That is at least partly a generational thing, partly from internet experiences very long ago, partly from long-cultivated self-protective habit.  The old-time NGDers here will recall a particular case of elaborate intentional deceit that went on for a while; that blew up very shortly before I joined up here.  I witnessed none of that as it occurred, but there were some folks here who were hurt by it.

 

In no way am I accusing you or anyone of a lack of candor, and please don't read hostility into this response.  Your opinions and contibutions are valued and respected as are anyone's, independent of an identity you share or choose not to share.

I think I vaguely remember the incident you are talking about. I think it happened either right as or right before I joined, 2003ish? Before I had a solid idea of what transgendered really meant, honestly. But we all live and hopefully learn.

[Vondy]

1 hour ago, eepjr24 said:

I think I vaguely remember the incident you are talking about. I think it happened either right as or right before I joined, 2003ish? Before I had a solid idea of what transgendered really meant, honestly. But we all live and hopefully learn.

 

Yes.  The "incident" you refer to was a pair of sock-puppet accounts that purported to be a "hot lesbian couple" named Rachel and Kara created by a cat-fishing troll named Fred Bittick. Some of us had figured it out fairly early on (the photos, personas, and anecdotes were improbable), but even gentle attempts to point it out resulted in some extremely nasty blow-back from board members who had bought it hook, line, and sinker. You either had to ignore Fred or play along so as not to be labeled all manner of nasty names. Ignoring him was not as easy because he was a very active and aggressive poster and would sick other people onto you if you didn't respond to him. It was like an Orwellian social experiment.

 

To compound matters, Fred tried to insert himself into people's lives beyond the boards via private messages and instant messaging, and attempted to draw out intimate and private information from board members while sharing fake information of his own. His first attempt to do that with me was when I concluded my initial doubts were correct. I think that intrusive and falsely obtained intimacy was, more than anything, is why those who let Fred in and became "Rachel and Kara's" most defenders / advocates were so deeply hurt by the whole thing. I kept my "I told you so" at the end very low key as a result.

 

Personally, I formally take everyone on the boards at face value until they give me a reason to think otherwise. Its simply easier (and mannerly) to work from that premise. But, I keep my eyes open, and I'm sensitive to the fact that some people cynically construct Internet personas that gives them social leverage in interactions / debates. I do not assume that is what is going on here. You can't go through your days suspecting everyone all of the time. I want everyone on the boards to be comfortable being themselves and to give one another goodwill, friendliness, and grace irrespective of who they may be. The only person any of us can represent is ourselves. I encourage everyone to do just that. 

[Cancer]

Yeah, that was what I referred to initially.  I joined these boards a couple months after that blew up, so I did not live through the episode.