Marcus Impudite

Political Science Theater 3000

In the not too distant future,

Super Tuesday A.D.

There was a guy named Joel,

Not too different from you or me.

He worked at Gizmonic institute,

Just another face in a red jumpsuit.

He did a good job cleaning up the place,

But his bosses didn't like him so they made him watch the Presidential Race.

(ARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The parties selected wretched candidates,

The worst they could find (la, la, la)

He'll have to sit and watch the debates,

And they'll monitor his mind (la, la, la)

Now keep in mind Joel can't control

Where the debates begin or end.

Because he used those special parts,

To make his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call (Let's Go!)

Cambot (Pan Left!)

Gypsy (Hi Girls!)

Tom Servo (Hi Tall Guy!)

Crooooooow (I'm The Wisecracker!)

If you're wondering who would elect these dolts,

Or other political facts (la, la, la)

Then repeat to yourself it's U.S. politics,

The standards are kinda lax.

For Political Science Theater 3000

Q: Is that the Horn of Gondor in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

 

A: It's obvious you've never been married!

Q: What do you mean you can't come to the poker game tonight? Do you really let your wife micromanage your entire life?

A: All the places on Earth where that wouldn't be considered a heinous crime can be counted on one hand, and no civilized person in their right mind would ever want to visit any of them.

Trump is a jackass and Hillary is a corrupt greedy psycho.  Neither one is anyone we should admire or look up to.  I cannot get the fawning adoration that politicians get when all we should treat them with is contempt and suspicion.  They do not give a crap about you no matter what lies they tell you.

Couldn't possibly agree more. NOTA 2016.

How people handle fear varies by the individual. A person with a Psychological Limitation such as "Timid," "Coward," or "Flees From Physical Combat" would run away for sure; but with anyone else, it's luck of the draw whether they'd run, become paralyzed with terror, or gnash their teeth and attack you just to prove they're not "chicken."

Q: "I knew Ben Grimm. Ben Grimm was my friend. You, sir, are no Ben Grimm!"? What's that supposed to mean?

 

A: The speech would be more comprehensible if it were delivered by Donald Duck.

Q: What can rightly be said of pretty much any politician's campaign speeches?

A: Disney's The Haunted Mansion called, they want their special effects back.

Summing up my views on this year's election:

I guess I'm weird. When it comes to standards I expect people to live up to, I have higher ones for cops than I do your average citizen. And I certainly expect police to behave well above the standards of criminals.

 

Given such things as civil asset forfeiture, police brutality, and a murders by officers of the unarmed.... it seems I expect too much

Don't forget about the ones that kill people's pets for sh*ts and giggles, laugh in the faces of distraught pet owners afterward, and then suffer absolutely no meaningful consequences for their misdeeds.

He could do a lot worse(e.g. Gingrich or Christie).

One minute please...

[Marcus The Impudite gets up and leaves the room. A moment later, he can be heard projectile vomiting somewhere in the distance. He later returns and takes his seat, wiping his mouth with a paper towel.]

Sorry for the interruption, but I'd rather not get demon puke on the carpet...

The mad scientist who builds killer robots and/or creates mutated abominations in his laboratory. The evil wizard who can conjure up a wide range of dangerous magical constructs. The criminally-insane artist who has somehow acquired the ability to make his drawings literally come to life. The chaotic reality warper who can manifest pretty much any kind of monsters and henchmen he has a mind to. One and all, baddies who can create their own minions. How often have these kinds of villains appeared in your game world? How have the players handled them when they and their minions made an appearance?

Hillary vs Trump: whoever wins, we lose.

As far as potions are concerned, an attack roll would, IMO, only come into play if your were forcing it down someone's throat; like the scene in Temple Of Doom where the cult leader forces Indie to swallow a mouthful of brainwashing potion.

North Carolina Couple Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting Each Other With Pizza Rolls

Gee, I didn't know Harry Plinkett got remarried...

I've had a long-running dispute with another player about END reserves. He says (citing that the rulebook examples in the margin are built this way) that END reserves MUST have a focus limitation (like an OIF "battery" or some similar item.) I say that they can be taken "naked" without a focus (like a MANA reserve for a spell caster, or the RAGE METER powers from the supplement book).

 

Is there a definite answer one way or the other?

I think you can definitively tell the other player he's wrong. I have never seen anything in the editions of the rules I've used (4th and 5th) that says every Endurance Reserve has to have a Focus Limitation. Plus I have seen published characters that have "naked" reserves.

FBI just cleared Clinton. Not recommending charges.

Even if she actually went to trial and was convicted (and I certainly wasn't holding my breath on that), the worst they'd do to her is send her to Camp Cupcake.

Wouldn't it be easier to release politicians?  THey are parasitic.

Releasing creatures as dirty and disgusting as politicians on an unsuspecting populace would rightly be considered a crime against humanity.

 

There's a boner joke in here somewhere...

 

Man In Skeleton Costume & Two Accomplices Wanted For Stealing Erectile Dysfunction Pills From Alabama Pharmacy

 

Not surprising. They're probably selling them on the Deep Web.

Your character's team recently took on a new member: Star Bright. She's a fairly standard Energy Projector type who gets her powers from a Cosmic Gemstone she wears around her neck, and which apparently fell to Earth one night as a shooting star. Star Bright is something of a rookie, but she did at least manage to come in handy in one very tough fight recently. During said fight, she attacked a particularly powerful and dangerous villain with her "Supernova Blast." The villain went down for the count, though Star Bright collapsed shortly after as well. Turns out this powerful attack takes quite a toll on her every time she discharges it (in game terms, it consumes all the END she has plus some STUN). As a rule, she only uses it as last resort, and she has to be sure to make the shot count; because if she misses, she'll be a sitting duck afterward. If asked if there are any other drawbacks to using the Supernova Blast, she states that she doesn't know; there's a lot about the Cosmic Gemstone that's still a mystery to her.

WWYCD?

Leading police on a high-speed chase in a go-kart is not a good idea...

Serves them right. May there be many more.

Cthulhu is wondering what he did to deserve such a punishment as being President.

Well for one, the big tentacled deadbeat still owes me fifty grand and a bottle of Captain Morgan from our last game of Texas Hold 'Em.

Besides, Lord Aizen had better things to do this year...

After giving all due consideration to both of the major political parties' presidental candidates, I'll be doing a write-in campaign for Cthulhu this election year.

This program is brought to you by Beelzebubble, with real bubblegum flavor you'll gladly sell your soul for.

Clairsentience, Precog, Only To Predict Opponent's Moves, Requires A Tactics Roll.

Invisibility, No Fringe. If they can't see you, it's substantially harder for them to target you; and short of tossing around Area of Effect attacks and risking collateral damage, they can't hit you.

The best way to steal an entire city:

Save up a sh*t-ton of Character Points and buy the whole city as a Base. Maybe even use some of those points to buy the entire city government and the police department/sheriff's office as Followers.