hooligan x

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 
The news?

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
I was running my Zombie Apocalypse game, with several long-time friends.
 
The three PC's and one NPC are on the top of a sporting goods store that they and their survivor group has been holed up in for a couple of days, as they prep to leave L.A.
 
The three PC's are Jordan, a gorgeous LAPD "kiddie cop" (think of Eliza Dushku in the LAPD uniform. Now youre on track), Eric, a recently-graduated high-school athletic star who was about to turn pro before the world ended (looks like Tom Welling), and Gabriel, a six foot ten EMT ambulance driver (who looks like Abraham Benrubi). The NPC with them is most often referred to as "Conspiracy Man", and goes only by the name of Ed. Despite a few comments about the "alien overlords" and the "flouride mind-control policy", they nevertheless gave Ed a rifle, as they had just raided a pawn shop, and his oddly useful skill-set was instrumental in their success. (They suspect he is ex military, and has seen too much).
 
The group has recently discovered that there are a few more survivors trapped on the fourht floor of a building about a block away from their own hideout. The people trapped in the office building have smashed out a window and hung a sign out of it written on a drape that says "Help Us".
 
As the characters are deciding what to do next, the sounds of gunfire erupt from a rooftop a few buildings away. The characters look around, and realize that it is coming from four gang-banger types who are taking shots at the "Help Us" sign, and the people behind it. (These are people with the same mentality as those who were shooting at police, ambulances, and fire fighters during the L.A.riots).
 
Jordan, the cop, is the first to spot the perps. She aims her rifle at them. The others follow suit. I tell them that one is shooting, another has a rifle also, and there are two others with pistols besides. They look like they are in their early twenties, of mixed ethnicity, and are wearing loose clothes with alot of sports team endorsements. Jordan makes a Perception roll and recognizes them as wearing local gang colors.
 
Ed: Firing order?
 
Jordan: Im taking down the shooter.
 
Ed: Ill take the other one who has a rifle.
 
Eric and Gabriel's Players both indicate they are also going to fire. I ask them to pick targets. And then...
 
Gabriel's Player: Ill shoot whichever one has the most underwear showing.
 
 
 
 
After we all finally stopped laughing, Garbiel then proceeded to randomly hit the unlucky s.o.b. in Location 13. For near-max damag,e and maximum Stun.
 
I guess Gabriel -really- didnt want to see that guys underwear!
 
(Edit: If this post accidentally offends anyone out there who habitually "busts a sag"... TOUGH! Pull your gorram pants up!)

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
Dead drunk in a Thai whore house.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 
Hurry down to Uncle Albert's we've got three weeks to live and it would be nice to see all the nephews before it's too late.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Dr Benedict and Palmer are outside a bar full of vampire policemen. They need to rescue a woman who has been offered up as refreshments but are outnumbered 10 to 1. Palmer suggests Benedict drive his 120 year old Deusenberg through the front of the bar to surprise the vampires.
 
Benedict: "That's no good. I'd never survive a high speed crash into a wall."
 
Palmer: "Well, turn into Captian Mysterion and he can drive through the wall."
 
Benedict: "Mysterion can't drive a stick, he's from Mesopotamia!"
 
Palmer: "Then I'll drive through the wall."
 
Benedict: "Can we please find a plan that doesn't involve crashing my automobile?"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Dr Benedict and Palmer are outside a bar full of vampire policemen. They need to rescue a woman who has been offered up as refreshments but are outnumbered 10 to 1. Palmer suggests Benedict drive his 120 year old Deusenberg through the front of the bar to surprise the vampires.
 
Benedict: "That's no good. I'd never survive a high speed crash into a wall."
 
Palmer: "Well, turn into Captian Mysterion and he can drive through the wall."
 
Benedict: "Mysterion can't drive a stick, he's from Mesopotamia!"
 
Palmer: "Then I'll drive through the wall."
 
Benedict: "Can we please find a plan that doesn't involve crashing my automobile?"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Sunday's Team F-up game:
 
"Enough of this crack mongering and ho slappery! You, sir, need a job!"

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 
This is for "Heroes & Legends". From About Time! Games. They are
currently in playtest and have a tenative release date set for late 2006.
You can check out their website at http://www.abouttimegames.com.
 
I thought it was a clever tackling of a universal RPG system, instead of the multi figure approach of other covers.
 

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

"The shotgun is over the fireplace. The shells are in my dresser, next to the Astroglide and nitrous-cracker. Help yourself to the Ny-Quil... we get the stuff in bulk cheap from Costco. That store has everything! Timmy, Tommy, Tony, and Todd tend to tease Suzy, Sarah, Cindy, and Samantha something awful. Try not to let it get out of hand."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
The UNITY team is discussing how they might infiltrate an alien battleship. The team's shapeshifting Russian hero has a suggestion.
 
Vilkacis: You could fit me inside a small hollow missile and fire me at the enemy ship. The missile would penetrate the hull, allowing me access!
Me: So the missile would be a Depleted Ukrainian round?
 

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 
Thanks Templar for sharing the stats!
 
Here is Aegis, cosmic superhero with a Golden age touch.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From a Gen Con game I thought I wasn't going to like, but loved:
 
Note: If you are not familiar with the movie "Blazing Saddles", you will not understand this:
 
I was playing an African American Male Energy Projector. Our party was travelling through time fighting invading Aliens. When we got to WW2, we faced a platoon of Nazis. They had weapons, a battleship AND large numbers. FISH IN A BARREL.
 
I asked to make a Presence Attack. The GM nodded:
 
Me: (Big Smile) "Hey Guys ! Where're all the WHITE women ??!!??" (Huge Grin)
 
GM: ( Flings empty juice box in my face.)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 

I've been in a few situations where there would be a reasonably good chance that the deal would have been honored.
But then again, I don't hang with the average gamer crowd.
(Thems aint normal gamers Caleb... normal gamers don't play Zombies by blacklight with a bunch of hot nekkid girls)
 
And if you never got with the Martha of your past, how do you know she was loose?
Frequent excercise makes strong kegels, after all

Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now?
 
Jam's "Down In The Tube Station At Midnight"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Lillith (Terror’s character) and Mad Angus have eloped to Niagara Falls (contrary to Dr. Benedict’s warnings about marrying an Unseelie fae). Meanwhile, Dr Benedict (Jim) is sucker-zapped with an NND and awakens to find his amulet missing and a note from his girlfriend saying she was sorry.
 
 
Terror: “HA! You were all ‘Whaa whaa! Don’t marry Angus, you’ll regret it!’ Now who’s getting honeymoon sex and who got his amulet stolen, Bee-YOTCH!?â€

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
In our campaign set in 2056, Lillith is shopping for a wedding dress. The woman doing the alterations mentions her wife.
 
Lisa-"Are gay marriages legal in the future?"
 
GM-"Well, why not? Heck, they let robots vote now!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
On the table where the GM's kids were playing, are a number of toys, including a doll of "Woody" from Toy Story. Two of the players on the couch play with them while the GM talks.
 
About ten minutes later, we encounter a goddess (It's an exalted game) in the swamp. She barters that for a kiss she'll show us the way to the temple. Our barbarian, who is known as a lothario who has left a trail of satisfied goddesses across the landscape of the world, steps up and kisses her.
 
At which point, another player turns to said player, who is holding the doll, and says, "Um... You might want to put your Woody away."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
First post, and I picked this thread.
 
Was in a D&D game where our group had to slip buy the sleeping dragon to exit the cave 'o' doom, of course the dragon was not sleeping.
 
As the group was midway between entrance and exit, the dragon woke up.
 
(We were at the time about 7-8 level, Dragon VERY old and powerful, that's why we were sneaking)
 
Dragon says "What are you doing in my home?"
 
There was a pause as the group was looking at each other for ideas when the Rogue - Bard spoke up, from behind by Cavalier I might add.
 
"We are here to kick YOUR a**, and take YOUR gold" with finger pointing at all the right moments.
 
The group did make it out of the mountain (without gear) but our poor Rogue - Bard Pencinious was no more.

Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now?
 
You know, I really like this song:
 
Drunk Daddy
Cherry Poppin' Daddies
 
Momma married a big *******
Whiskey bottles on the floor
He just keeps on watchin' t.v.
Stepchild tired of being poor
Kitchen smells like rotten garbage
I can't chew my food my face is sore
Momma didn't come home last evening
Neighbors say that she's a whore
Some folks never want for nothin'
I'm a worn out hand be down
Stupid rich kid gets me angry
Lord, I'm gonna cut him down
Now I'm grown up same old story
At 21 I fell in love
She left me just like the others
Jesus why'd you curse my love?
 
Drunk daddy broke my fingers
Drunk Daddy done kicked my head
Drunk Daddy smashed my sister
Turned my whole world red (blood red)
 
I haul the burden for the high and mighty
But I'm the top hat Devil's son
I got the luck of the drunk, try an' nail me
I'm the bullseye - aim your gun
Yesterday they shook your hand boy
Now they're gonna stab your back
I can hear their sickening laughter
Sneakin' like a Siamese cat
Back stage in the club bathroom
A graven image on the wall
I'm about to get my vengeance
Lights go out in the hall
You gotta move fast to beat the devil
You arm is too short to box with God
Big shadow in the doorway
He's not going to spare the rod (so get out)
 
Drunk daddy broke my fingers
Drunk daddy done kicked my head
Drunk daddy smashed my sister
Turned my whole world red (blood red)
 
he's coming up the stairs
he's got that thing in his hand
no dad, don't, leave me alone
no, no daddy don't
he's coming up the stairs
he's got that thing in his hand
okay, dad you can beat me but you'll never beat me

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Team F-up:
 
Capt. Mysterion: "Leroy? Isn't that the guy you liquified?"
 
Lillith: "We did NOT liquify him! He got liquified while we were there."
 
 
 
Later, it was implied Lillith's fiance was gay.
 
Lillith: "If Angus is gay, he deserves an Oscar. And an AVN award!"
 
Lillith's houseguest left behind the purchases she made off Home Shopping Network, filling all her spare rooms and closets. Lillith got upset with Benedict questioning Angus' motives.
 
Lillith: "Get out of my house! And take an Amazing Ab Griller with you!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Team F-up:
 
Capt. Mysterion: "Leroy? Isn't that the guy you liquified?"
 
Lillith: "We did NOT liquify him! He got liquified while we were there."
 
 
 
Later, it was implied Lillith's fiance was gay.
 
Lillith: "If Angus is gay, he deserves an Oscar. And an AVN award!"
 
Lillith's houseguest left behind the purchases she made off Home Shopping Network, filling all her spare rooms and closets. Lillith got upset with Benedict questioning Angus' motives.
 
Lillith: "Get out of my house! And take an Amazing Ab Griller with you!"

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 
Jeff T's Millennium Knights.
 
Jeff gave me an exhaustive description. I hope I did his team justice. To those others that I have commissions to do for, I will be getting to them slowly and surely. Origins is eating up a bit of time due to prep. But I'll be taking sketches to do with me.
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Team F-up returns from a fight and Dr. Benedict decides to visit his ladyfriend Faisa.
 
GM: "So you're in Faisa's sweet, sweet embrace..."
 
Dr. B: "No, wait. I'll check my voicemail first."
 
All players: "WHAT?!"
 
Dr B.: No, you're right. Sweet, sweet embrace, then voicemail."
 
Later, Benedict's alterego, Golden-ager Captain Mysterion, is trying to reach the president-elect by phone and is having trouble with the technology of the 2050's.
 
Capt M: "I need you to give a message to Mr Biv."
 
Secretary: "I can give you his voicemail...'
 
Capt M: "No, damnit! I want you to GIVE him a message!"
 
Secretary: You mean, like on paper?!
 
Capt M: "Well, beep his message cube, or whatever the hell you kids do these days!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From our current Champs campaign:
 
We had a player obsessed with Castlevania. He was playing the next-to-last Belmont. Due to years of inbreeding, the Belmonts were none too bright. Fortunately, all the vampires had been killed generations ago. Vincent Belmont had joined the group after quitting his Starbucks job. After a marginally successful mission, he decided to treat the group to dinner at his favorite resturant, The Golden Duck (a medieval theme resturant.)
 
As the night progressed, Vincent became drunker and more embarassing. Finally, they pick him off the floor and appologize to the waitress, who says:
 
"'tis expected. I have worked here but a fortnight, and thrice hath he chundered."
 
For some reason, this is our most quoted line OOG. Mostly at Rudy's on Elm St. After Terror has had her 8 Magnars.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
My friend Terror has played our game for over two years but still is loathe to admit she's a "gamer". She was telling the group how she turned down a date in order to make it to game sunday:
 
Jim: Did you tell him you were gaming?
 
Terror: No. I told him I had an NA meeting.
 
Denial, thou name is Geek!