Come on, they were playing the Steelers.
More on-topic, i.e., unlikely turnarounds: Respect for human dignity breaks out world-wide, without the extremists exterpating those who don't cave into their demands. Why? They start extirpating each other.
Been ages since I've even visited the forums here - the new layout still anmnoys me excessively - but the problem of my long absence has been exacerbated by the collapse of my Cthulhu campaign, and being far too busy for gaming most weeks anyway, let along gaming and transcribing quotes Nonetheless, did start another Warhammer 40K campaign a few weeks back - but this time we're playing the bad guys. The characters -
Cassius, a Space Marine formerly of the Storm Crows chapter, who realised that the Imperium is doomed, that the Lords of Terra have betrayed the Emperor's vision of an entirely secular humanity, and thathis entire life has been built on a lie. Despite the fact that the next few hours will see him getting advice from mutants and assistance from rogue psykers, and making deals with demons, still denies he's fallen to Chaos. Naturally, the rest of us find this hilarious.
Rold Dundee, escapee from the prison world of St Annand's Penance (the player wanted a world like Australia - since St Annand is a desert inhabited solely by convicts, deadly reptiles, and venomous insects, I thought it counted). Out for revenge. Since he's spent the last 200 years in astasis cage in an Inquisitorial ship, the trail might be a tad cold.
Me: Somehow I can picture a scene that goes "That's not a daemon weapon, THIS is a daemon weapon"
Kastalla, a rogue Psyker, who is determined to live forever by killing anything that threatens her. This, too, is hilarious.
Jrska, hyena-headed beastwoman mutant, native of the Screaming Vortex warp storm, and enthusiastic devotee of the Lord of Excess and Pleasure, Slaneesh. Played by yours truly, and oh my it's going to be fun.
Waking up in the deep holds of the Imperial ship, when the power to the stasis cages finally runs out. By the looks of things some kind of riot broke out, most of the inmates were incinerated in their cells, and we got lucky. It also sounds like the ship in dead in space. While Cassius interrogates the servo-skulls, Jrska finds a bit of debris to run along the bars, as she sings.
Jrska: *singing* "Nobody knows the trouble I've been"
Cassius is less than impressed by the company he's keeping when he wakes up.
Cassius: Wonderful. A degenerate, a witch, and a convict.
Jrska takes it all in stride, on the other hand, and is careful not to antagonise the Space Marine. After all, he could be a useful barricade between her and whatever antagonists lurk on the derelict ship. Jrska is also entirely comfortable with the fact that she and the other inmates are stark naked - more then comfortable in fact, when she sees Cassius's posthuman gengineered physique. Then she sees the other result of his engineering - chem-gelding.
Jrska: What a waste. Well, I suppose that's what happens when you use all those steroids...
Cassius OOC: Well, maybe I'll get a mutation to fix it.
Kastalla OOC: Now we know why Horus fell to Chaos
Cassius OOC: 'I'll finally be able to get some'
Shortly thereafter, we encounter three scavengers who dare contest Cassius's ownership of the power armour they're dragging out of one of the interrogation labs. Jrska picks a suitable ledge to perch on and watch the show, and comments to Kastalla and Dundee
Jrska:This is why I need some kind of automated popcorn dispenser following me around.
Everybody else's equipment is in the interrogation lab too, including Jrska's neural whip (lovingly run across her hands, the metal barbs tickling delightfully), her venomous pet Thing (part standard poodle, part Gila Monster), and her backpack full of Hallucinogen Grenades.
Jrska: *offering a handful to Cassius* Party favour?
There are, naturally, elevated walkways aboard the ship.
Jrska: *sings*... do my little turn on the catwalk...
Finding and going through the prisoner records, security keys, identity lanyards, etc. Jrska collects many of the latter as accessories, while the others get on with the business at hand.
Jrska: Did they get my good side?
Rold Dundee: Do you even have a good side?
Jrska: Of course I do! See? Nice backside too. *leer*
Jrska: Who's a good Thing. Who's a good Thing. You always wanted to be an assistant warden, didn't you? Didn't you? Good boy.
Jrska: Thing's bling
Bluffing our way past the cannibal tribe, Jrska proves her worth to Cassius.
Jrska: Excuse me?! Who do you think we are? Who do you think YOU are? *invading the cannibal's personal space* Even in your wildest dreams, what led you to think you had any say in where we go and who we see?
Cannibal: *nervously conferring with colleagues* You may see Mother now.
Jrska: Yes, yes we will. Lead the way.
Cassius: Now that's useful.
Jrska: And what are you doing later?
Cannibal: Eating you
Jrska: *leers* Oh, yes please.
GM: I walked right into that one, didn't I?
Rold is a bit uncomfortable with Jrska's uncontrolled lechery.
Rold Dundee: There has to be somebody else that looks better, I'm covered in dirt
Jrska: Hey, I have been in a stasis cell for two hundred years. A girl has needs. Though there's always Kastalla - I don't mind the scars. After a session with me she'll probably have more - it's not a proper party till someone loses an eye.
Jrska: Is that a gun in your hand or are you just here to jerk off?
Thing falls in battle, thanks to Kastalla loosing control of her abilities.
Jrska: I'll have your ovaries for this, bitch!
Jrska: Poor thing... He was such a good beast... The things he could do with his tongue!
All: Headdesk
Me: I told you you'd regret letting me play a Slaneeshi cultist.
Jrska skins a survivor alive with the edge of a power blade, in honour of her lost Thing. And since it's a entire party of evil characters, and Chaos to boot, the pecking-order and backstabbing has already been established. But since we're not stupid, none of us are willing to backstab the others while they're still useful, and if there's any chance they'll survive to retaliate. That doesn't stop a venomous rivalry between Jrska and Kastalla, especially after Kastalla reveals she can be just as manipulative and charismatic as the beastwoman.
Jrska: *innocently* If we're talking about implanted weaponry, I once knew a man with a Crotch rocket
All: Headdesk
Eventually, we discover the Inquisitor who captured us welded to the floor and host to a daemon - highly amusing - and we are warned that the ship's head interrogator is himself out of stasis and planning to drop the ship out of Warpspace and signal for help - less amusing. The daemon is going to need a new host body if he is going to assist. One of the cannibals will do nicely. Cassius makes a deal that they will free the daemon and give him a new host, on the condition he swears not to harm the party, and assists with taken down the Interrogator and any surviving Imperial servants. The rest of the cannibals are a little upset at what happens to the one that was volunteered.
Cassius: Well, I did promise him power beyond imagination.
Interrogator Crane is captured alive, Jrska gets a nice forcefield as reward for her useful efforts, and the deamonhost blown away after it tried to open the Gellar Fields while we were still in Warp. The betrayal WAS a little predictable.
Jrska: Thank you, Lord Cassius... *to Dundee* See? You've got to know when to flatter.
Cassius: Did anybody NOT see that coming?
Jrska: *shrugs* Premature, perhaps.
Cassius: It happens - performance anxiety
But now we need to nudge the ship into the Screaming Vortex, and away from Imperial retribution - happily, Cassius only needs to eat a few parts of the Interrogator to gain the necessary skill. Jrska gets to work on the naked and securely bound Crane.
Jrska: Hello. I need you to answer a question for us - which of your appendages do you value least?
Kastalla: *pointing at the obvious* That one.
Jrska: Well, obviously, but I'm not going to make Lord Cassius eat that.
Crane: Abomination! You will get no answers from me! The God-Emperor will-
Jrska: Tongue it is then *slice*
.
And so into the Screaming Vortex.
Jrska: It's good to be home. I really don't know how men can live out there. Having black night skies is so boring - how can they stand to live somewhere where the sky isn't the colour of a poisonous orchid?
The derelict ship materialises over a world wracked by perpetual war between Slaneesh and Nurgle.
Rold Dundee: The Planet of the STDs
We'll have to move fast before the other ships realise the new arrival is actually derelict, but I'm confident we can bluff them. And Jrska's brother, a pirate captain, may well be around somewhere even after two centuries. But that will have to wait until next time. Cassius' player predicts in a few years Cassius will be completely corrupt and treating Jrska like an obedient pet.
Me: I think you may be mistaken in who has who well-trained.
I got a text at like 3am one morning. I decided to play with it...
Them (via text): BOA is providing $950 payday loans wired in two hours. NO Credit Check. Claim the cash at CashIn2Hrs.com and get funded now!
Me: Boa? Is that you, man? Wow! I haven't heard from you in a long time!
Me: It must be, what, seven or eight years? How have you been, man?
Me: You're still in Virginia, huh? Some things never change, I guess!
Me: What are you doing these days? Did that Communications degree ever pay off for you?
Me: Remember how we used to tease you about that? You would get so pissed!
Me: Man, we had some times, didn't we?
Me: Whatever happened to those days?
Me: I mean, obviously I know what happened.
Me: Things just got crazy.
Me: What with the court hearings and the craziness with all those reporters, things just got weird.
Me: Am I right?
Me: (about an hour later) No response? Hey man, why so quiet?
Me: I used to have to gag you to shut you up!
Me: You're not still mad, are you?
Me: Dude, that was like eight years ago!
Me: I said I was sorry.
Me: And it's not like you don't have another sister.
Me: Sorry man. That was low.
Me: You know I loved her too, right?
Me: And everyone knows it was an accident.
Me: I was acquitted, remember?
Me: I can't believe you're still mad.
Me: (the next day) Man, I'm sorry about what I said last night.
Me: It's just that when you texted me out of the blue like that, all those memories just came flooding back.
Me: And I won't lie, I was drinking.
Me: I know I promised to stop after that night, but it's hard.
Me: I still live with the memories.
Me: Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.
Me: I miss her, you know?
Me: I want her back.
Me: But she's not coming back, is she?
Me: (a week later) Dude, it's been a week since you texted me.
Me: What the f**k?
Me: You don't have the common courtesy to text back even once?
Me: Dude. You started this, not me.
Me: And now you're just going to go dark like this?
Me: How about a simple admission that this was just a mistake?
Me: Don't I even deserve that?
Me: Jesus, you're an a**hole.
Me: You know why she loved me more than you was because of cowardly s**t like this.
Me: Yeah, i said it. And I meant it. She loved me more than you.
Me: And you can go choke on it for all I care.
Stay tuned for the continuing saga. And thank god for unlimited texting!
Peter Gunn theme (the performance I have on the iPod is by Emerson, Lake, & Palmer)
Alpha (among others) by Vangelis, featured in Carl Sagan's Cosmos series
the William Tell Overture, indelibly linked as the theme music for the old Lone Ranger series
Needless to say, all these are on the iPod.
I went to a Star Trek convention recently, and I have good news and bad news about it. The good news is, I had a blast. The bad news is, it came from a phaser.
Cancer reacted to Old Man in Musings on Random Musings
Cancer got a reaction from Pariah in NGD Scenes from a Hat
Cancer got a reaction from Psybolt in NGD Scenes from a Hat
Cancer got a reaction from L. Marcus in The Non Sequitor Thread
