Cancer

Re: Complicate the Person Above
 
Roter Baron's secret shame is that by blood he is five-eighths Gascon French, only two-eights German, and the remainder is stinging nettle.

Re: Answers & Questions
 

 
Q: This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen: it looks like an alien vibrating sex toy with little twisted metal flanges sticking out all over. Ever see anything like this before?
 
A: That's what it takes to get a tribble to stop answering questions with more questions.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

You know it.
 
I am reminded of a story passed on by a friend of mine ... she lived in an apartment, and one day the refrigerator died. So she's helping the landlord (a little old man sort of guy) muscle the old one out. When they get it out of the tight space between counter and wall, there's a big hole knocked in the wallboard behind where the fridge was. And tucked away in the hole was an enormous blue plastic dildo and a quarter-full bottle of Wesson oil.
 
Neither of them wanted to touch the thing. Eventually they used her barbeque tongs to put them in the trash, and after that (and the new fridge was swapped in) she fired up the hibachi and left the tongs in the fire overnight....

Re: "Neat" Pictures
 
As the linked page says, some images of the Saturn system are surreal.

Re: "Neat" Pictures
 
As the linked page says, some images of the Saturn system are surreal.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

Re: Answers & Questions
 

 
Q: OK. You've got beef, chicken, chorizo, black beans, refried beans, pinto beans, kidney beans, white cheese, orange cheese, green cheese, stinky cheese, rancid cheese, chopped yellow onions, chopped white onions, chopped green onions, chopped red onions, chopped jalapeno peppers, chopped anaheim peppers, chopped habanero peppers, shredded lettuce, pickled cabbage, pulped tomatoes, picante sauce, red salsa, green salsa, dried rep pepper flakes, sour cream, chopped parsely, chunked jicama, a double dip of guacamole, lime and lemon wedges, corn tortillas, flour tortillas, a cup of menudo, half a liter of Corona, a plate of sopapillas, with honey and cinnamon... At 35 cents an ounce, that's ... Sir, that's over the credit limit on this card. Do you have anything else?
 
A: "All you can eat" means something a little different there.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

Half lazy, Half don't care, Half annoying people.
 
Besides, I treat reality like one of those snow globes... every once in a while you just have to pick the thing up and give it a good solid shake.

Re: Answers & Questions
 

 
Q: I've never been to a Temple of Venus Buffet... you?
 
A: My mind shuddered at the very notion.

Re: Complicate the Person Above
 
Death tribble has set up an arbelest in the approach path to Gatwick and is shooting stale oatmeal scones at approaching airliners to protest against the extinction of the trilobites at the end of the Permian period. What's scary is that he's the most rational person on his block.

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
Bleah. A publisher sent me a free copy of a physics textbook, presumably for me to look over and consider adopting for my classes. Little do they know I have no part in the text adoption process here.
 
Consequently, this leaves me free to observe that the only thing more boring than a physics textbook you have to read is a physics textbook you don't have to read.

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
Bleah. A publisher sent me a free copy of a physics textbook, presumably for me to look over and consider adopting for my classes. Little do they know I have no part in the text adoption process here.
 
Consequently, this leaves me free to observe that the only thing more boring than a physics textbook you have to read is a physics textbook you don't have to read.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 

 
You mean something like this?
 
Excuse the crappy photomanip, I did this in about 10 minutes just because it sounded like fun.

Re: The cranky thread
 

 
You know, you could have just typed "Sturgeon's Law" and cut the rest of the above paragraph.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

Then there was the day I was mugged by a parrot.
 
In a pet store, carrying my 1.5-year-old son. Parrot is on a circular, 3-foot-diameter open perch in front of the register. He's been making it clear he wants nothing to do with anyone; you walk up to the perch area, he moves to the far side. Good enough for me. I'm holding my son, who is munching on an apple, and he's watching the pretty bird while my wife gets something else in the store.
 
My attention wanders, looking past my son (who is watching the parrot raptly) out into the mall. But when I turn back, the parrot has not only come around the perch to our side, but he's climbing up my arm.
 
Wife comes to the rescue. I have an inkling of what's going on. At my direction, she takes my son's apple, takes a bite out of it, waves it at the parrot, leads him back off me to the perch, gives it to him. Parrot retreats to the far side of the perch and eats his apple.
 
... So yeah, I was mugged by a parrot for a piece of apple.

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
"So there are artists who surprise me, but there are none who shock me, and that's because shock is dead. In the seventies I used to cut my head off with a guillotine on stage and people would ooh and aah, it was so extreme. Today you can turn on the TV and see a terrorist with a knife do it for real. When the nightly news is more bizarre than Alice Cooper's imagination, shock is dead." --Alice Cooper

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
Once again, true randomness.
 
Random spam text
 
Kinda like most blogs, but without even the pretense of coherence.

Re: "Neat" Pictures
 
"Open the pod bay door, HAL."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
"Help me, Mary-Sue Kenobi, you're my only hope."

Re: Complicate the Person Above
 
Enforcer84: disgruntled bank teller by day, but trapped in this life from mythic eras long gone. By night, he's a psychokinetic were-sabretooth searching for the giant ground sloths that were his preferred prey. And during the extended hours of twilight that occur in the latitudes of his residence, he's a lacewinged nymphomaniac slyph who hangs around in city parks looking for the herds of bison that used to be the only things massive enough to satisfy her nearly limitless lust.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

So pirates can identify both of them without everyone else being terminally confused.

Re: The Last Word
 
Actually, it's probably accurate to say that at least earlier in life I was a homophobe. When you grew up on & around military installations in the 1960s and early '70s, you sort of picked up that attitude by osmosis (and there's a peculiar horrible pun in the use of :"straight": there).
 
Once I became mature enough to recognize the trait in myself and realize it wasn't a good thing, I went to work on controlling it, but there's no denying certain aspects of it are still there.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

So pirates can identify both of them without everyone else being terminally confused.

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 

 
As they would say on FIREFLY ... Shiney!
 
PDS

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 

Dude ... you look like a terrorist. Download them images and use 'em as props ("Here you are, heroes ... that's your perpetrator. Find him.")