Balabanto

The Delta Burke Force

Norv: Do we have schematics?
 
Khymeric: Hold on! I'll get the etch a sketch!
 
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Norv: Do we have schematics?
 
Khymeric: Hold on! I'll get the etch a sketch!
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------
 
 

Steven King's The Lemonade Stand

So one of my players creates a new superhero called Doctor Enigma, with a long and storied history and an archenemy called The Black Scarab. On his character sheet, it says "Hunted by the Black Scarab." This means pretty much, the guy is bound to show up every so often and make the hero's life completely miserable.
 The relationship between the characters was meant to be adversarial but cordial, in a sort of "I really do apologize for throwing you into that pit of snakes."
 "And I am sorry for crushing your leg with that log," etc.
 Also integral to the story is the fact that Doctor Enigma and the Black Scarab were in love with the same woman, and Esmerelda chose Doctor Enigma. Doctor Enigma didn't age. Esmerelda did.
 So he's young and handsome, and she's elderly and on her deathbed. Not so great.
 But wait. There's more. So the heroes encounter The Black Scarab, and he tells Doctor Enigma that he's dying. The player flips out. He's like "how?"
 The villain says "The ring makes me immortal. It doesn't make me immune to neurological disorders or, unfortunately, Lou Gerihg's disease. So I am looking for a successor."
 They talk for a bit, exchange cordialities, and the villain leaves. An occult plot happens, during which time the Black Scarab is not present.
 So Doctor Enigma gets back to his mansion to discover this heap of ash in his easy chair, along with this note.
 "Dear Doctor Enigma,'
       I must apologize for the unfortunate state in which you find me, but if you are reading this, I am dead. There could truly only be one worthy successor for the power of the Black Scarab, and so I have given it's power to our Esmerelda. I am certain that this gift will be looked upon in the manner in which it was intended.
 Farewell, old enemy,

 The Black Scarab."
 Player: THAT (Censored)! Not only did he restore my wife to health, which I have been unable to do, not only did he turn my own wife against me, and make me incapable of harming my greatest enemy in any way, but now he's DEAD, and I can't do anything about it! And on top of it, the son of a (consored) died in my favorite easy chair!
  So now she's young and attractive, but irredeemably evil! Ooops. Fortunately, the players ALL love this twist, regardless of how mean it is. (And it is pretty mean.)

So one of my players creates a new superhero called Doctor Enigma, with a long and storied history and an archenemy called The Black Scarab. On his character sheet, it says "Hunted by the Black Scarab." This means pretty much, the guy is bound to show up every so often and make the hero's life completely miserable.
 The relationship between the characters was meant to be adversarial but cordial, in a sort of "I really do apologize for throwing you into that pit of snakes."
 "And I am sorry for crushing your leg with that log," etc.
 Also integral to the story is the fact that Doctor Enigma and the Black Scarab were in love with the same woman, and Esmerelda chose Doctor Enigma. Doctor Enigma didn't age. Esmerelda did.
 So he's young and handsome, and she's elderly and on her deathbed. Not so great.
 But wait. There's more. So the heroes encounter The Black Scarab, and he tells Doctor Enigma that he's dying. The player flips out. He's like "how?"
 The villain says "The ring makes me immortal. It doesn't make me immune to neurological disorders or, unfortunately, Lou Gerihg's disease. So I am looking for a successor."
 They talk for a bit, exchange cordialities, and the villain leaves. An occult plot happens, during which time the Black Scarab is not present.
 So Doctor Enigma gets back to his mansion to discover this heap of ash in his easy chair, along with this note.
 "Dear Doctor Enigma,'
       I must apologize for the unfortunate state in which you find me, but if you are reading this, I am dead. There could truly only be one worthy successor for the power of the Black Scarab, and so I have given it's power to our Esmerelda. I am certain that this gift will be looked upon in the manner in which it was intended.
 Farewell, old enemy,

 The Black Scarab."
 Player: THAT (Censored)! Not only did he restore my wife to health, which I have been unable to do, not only did he turn my own wife against me, and make me incapable of harming my greatest enemy in any way, but now he's DEAD, and I can't do anything about it! And on top of it, the son of a (consored) died in my favorite easy chair!
  So now she's young and attractive, but irredeemably evil! Ooops. Fortunately, the players ALL love this twist, regardless of how mean it is. (And it is pretty mean.)

So one of my players creates a new superhero called Doctor Enigma, with a long and storied history and an archenemy called The Black Scarab. On his character sheet, it says "Hunted by the Black Scarab." This means pretty much, the guy is bound to show up every so often and make the hero's life completely miserable.
 The relationship between the characters was meant to be adversarial but cordial, in a sort of "I really do apologize for throwing you into that pit of snakes."
 "And I am sorry for crushing your leg with that log," etc.
 Also integral to the story is the fact that Doctor Enigma and the Black Scarab were in love with the same woman, and Esmerelda chose Doctor Enigma. Doctor Enigma didn't age. Esmerelda did.
 So he's young and handsome, and she's elderly and on her deathbed. Not so great.
 But wait. There's more. So the heroes encounter The Black Scarab, and he tells Doctor Enigma that he's dying. The player flips out. He's like "how?"
 The villain says "The ring makes me immortal. It doesn't make me immune to neurological disorders or, unfortunately, Lou Gerihg's disease. So I am looking for a successor."
 They talk for a bit, exchange cordialities, and the villain leaves. An occult plot happens, during which time the Black Scarab is not present.
 So Doctor Enigma gets back to his mansion to discover this heap of ash in his easy chair, along with this note.
 "Dear Doctor Enigma,'
       I must apologize for the unfortunate state in which you find me, but if you are reading this, I am dead. There could truly only be one worthy successor for the power of the Black Scarab, and so I have given it's power to our Esmerelda. I am certain that this gift will be looked upon in the manner in which it was intended.
 Farewell, old enemy,

 The Black Scarab."
 Player: THAT (Censored)! Not only did he restore my wife to health, which I have been unable to do, not only did he turn my own wife against me, and make me incapable of harming my greatest enemy in any way, but now he's DEAD, and I can't do anything about it! And on top of it, the son of a (consored) died in my favorite easy chair!
  So now she's young and attractive, but irredeemably evil! Ooops. Fortunately, the players ALL love this twist, regardless of how mean it is. (And it is pretty mean.)

So one of my players creates a new superhero called Doctor Enigma, with a long and storied history and an archenemy called The Black Scarab. On his character sheet, it says "Hunted by the Black Scarab." This means pretty much, the guy is bound to show up every so often and make the hero's life completely miserable.
 The relationship between the characters was meant to be adversarial but cordial, in a sort of "I really do apologize for throwing you into that pit of snakes."
 "And I am sorry for crushing your leg with that log," etc.
 Also integral to the story is the fact that Doctor Enigma and the Black Scarab were in love with the same woman, and Esmerelda chose Doctor Enigma. Doctor Enigma didn't age. Esmerelda did.
 So he's young and handsome, and she's elderly and on her deathbed. Not so great.
 But wait. There's more. So the heroes encounter The Black Scarab, and he tells Doctor Enigma that he's dying. The player flips out. He's like "how?"
 The villain says "The ring makes me immortal. It doesn't make me immune to neurological disorders or, unfortunately, Lou Gerihg's disease. So I am looking for a successor."
 They talk for a bit, exchange cordialities, and the villain leaves. An occult plot happens, during which time the Black Scarab is not present.
 So Doctor Enigma gets back to his mansion to discover this heap of ash in his easy chair, along with this note.
 "Dear Doctor Enigma,'
       I must apologize for the unfortunate state in which you find me, but if you are reading this, I am dead. There could truly only be one worthy successor for the power of the Black Scarab, and so I have given it's power to our Esmerelda. I am certain that this gift will be looked upon in the manner in which it was intended.
 Farewell, old enemy,

 The Black Scarab."
 Player: THAT (Censored)! Not only did he restore my wife to health, which I have been unable to do, not only did he turn my own wife against me, and make me incapable of harming my greatest enemy in any way, but now he's DEAD, and I can't do anything about it! And on top of it, the son of a (consored) died in my favorite easy chair!
  So now she's young and attractive, but irredeemably evil! Ooops. Fortunately, the players ALL love this twist, regardless of how mean it is. (And it is pretty mean.)

So one of my players creates a new superhero called Doctor Enigma, with a long and storied history and an archenemy called The Black Scarab. On his character sheet, it says "Hunted by the Black Scarab." This means pretty much, the guy is bound to show up every so often and make the hero's life completely miserable.
 The relationship between the characters was meant to be adversarial but cordial, in a sort of "I really do apologize for throwing you into that pit of snakes."
 "And I am sorry for crushing your leg with that log," etc.
 Also integral to the story is the fact that Doctor Enigma and the Black Scarab were in love with the same woman, and Esmerelda chose Doctor Enigma. Doctor Enigma didn't age. Esmerelda did.
 So he's young and handsome, and she's elderly and on her deathbed. Not so great.
 But wait. There's more. So the heroes encounter The Black Scarab, and he tells Doctor Enigma that he's dying. The player flips out. He's like "how?"
 The villain says "The ring makes me immortal. It doesn't make me immune to neurological disorders or, unfortunately, Lou Gerihg's disease. So I am looking for a successor."
 They talk for a bit, exchange cordialities, and the villain leaves. An occult plot happens, during which time the Black Scarab is not present.
 So Doctor Enigma gets back to his mansion to discover this heap of ash in his easy chair, along with this note.
 "Dear Doctor Enigma,'
       I must apologize for the unfortunate state in which you find me, but if you are reading this, I am dead. There could truly only be one worthy successor for the power of the Black Scarab, and so I have given it's power to our Esmerelda. I am certain that this gift will be looked upon in the manner in which it was intended.
 Farewell, old enemy,

 The Black Scarab."
 Player: THAT (Censored)! Not only did he restore my wife to health, which I have been unable to do, not only did he turn my own wife against me, and make me incapable of harming my greatest enemy in any way, but now he's DEAD, and I can't do anything about it! And on top of it, the son of a (consored) died in my favorite easy chair!
  So now she's young and attractive, but irredeemably evil! Ooops. Fortunately, the players ALL love this twist, regardless of how mean it is. (And it is pretty mean.)

So one of my players creates a new superhero called Doctor Enigma, with a long and storied history and an archenemy called The Black Scarab. On his character sheet, it says "Hunted by the Black Scarab." This means pretty much, the guy is bound to show up every so often and make the hero's life completely miserable.
 The relationship between the characters was meant to be adversarial but cordial, in a sort of "I really do apologize for throwing you into that pit of snakes."
 "And I am sorry for crushing your leg with that log," etc.
 Also integral to the story is the fact that Doctor Enigma and the Black Scarab were in love with the same woman, and Esmerelda chose Doctor Enigma. Doctor Enigma didn't age. Esmerelda did.
 So he's young and handsome, and she's elderly and on her deathbed. Not so great.
 But wait. There's more. So the heroes encounter The Black Scarab, and he tells Doctor Enigma that he's dying. The player flips out. He's like "how?"
 The villain says "The ring makes me immortal. It doesn't make me immune to neurological disorders or, unfortunately, Lou Gerihg's disease. So I am looking for a successor."
 They talk for a bit, exchange cordialities, and the villain leaves. An occult plot happens, during which time the Black Scarab is not present.
 So Doctor Enigma gets back to his mansion to discover this heap of ash in his easy chair, along with this note.
 "Dear Doctor Enigma,'
       I must apologize for the unfortunate state in which you find me, but if you are reading this, I am dead. There could truly only be one worthy successor for the power of the Black Scarab, and so I have given it's power to our Esmerelda. I am certain that this gift will be looked upon in the manner in which it was intended.
 Farewell, old enemy,

 The Black Scarab."
 Player: THAT (Censored)! Not only did he restore my wife to health, which I have been unable to do, not only did he turn my own wife against me, and make me incapable of harming my greatest enemy in any way, but now he's DEAD, and I can't do anything about it! And on top of it, the son of a (consored) died in my favorite easy chair!
  So now she's young and attractive, but irredeemably evil! Ooops. Fortunately, the players ALL love this twist, regardless of how mean it is. (And it is pretty mean.)

So one of my players creates a new superhero called Doctor Enigma, with a long and storied history and an archenemy called The Black Scarab. On his character sheet, it says "Hunted by the Black Scarab." This means pretty much, the guy is bound to show up every so often and make the hero's life completely miserable.
 The relationship between the characters was meant to be adversarial but cordial, in a sort of "I really do apologize for throwing you into that pit of snakes."
 "And I am sorry for crushing your leg with that log," etc.
 Also integral to the story is the fact that Doctor Enigma and the Black Scarab were in love with the same woman, and Esmerelda chose Doctor Enigma. Doctor Enigma didn't age. Esmerelda did.
 So he's young and handsome, and she's elderly and on her deathbed. Not so great.
 But wait. There's more. So the heroes encounter The Black Scarab, and he tells Doctor Enigma that he's dying. The player flips out. He's like "how?"
 The villain says "The ring makes me immortal. It doesn't make me immune to neurological disorders or, unfortunately, Lou Gerihg's disease. So I am looking for a successor."
 They talk for a bit, exchange cordialities, and the villain leaves. An occult plot happens, during which time the Black Scarab is not present.
 So Doctor Enigma gets back to his mansion to discover this heap of ash in his easy chair, along with this note.
 "Dear Doctor Enigma,'
       I must apologize for the unfortunate state in which you find me, but if you are reading this, I am dead. There could truly only be one worthy successor for the power of the Black Scarab, and so I have given it's power to our Esmerelda. I am certain that this gift will be looked upon in the manner in which it was intended.
 Farewell, old enemy,

 The Black Scarab."
 Player: THAT (Censored)! Not only did he restore my wife to health, which I have been unable to do, not only did he turn my own wife against me, and make me incapable of harming my greatest enemy in any way, but now he's DEAD, and I can't do anything about it! And on top of it, the son of a (consored) died in my favorite easy chair!
  So now she's young and attractive, but irredeemably evil! Ooops. Fortunately, the players ALL love this twist, regardless of how mean it is. (And it is pretty mean.)

So one of my players creates a new superhero called Doctor Enigma, with a long and storied history and an archenemy called The Black Scarab. On his character sheet, it says "Hunted by the Black Scarab." This means pretty much, the guy is bound to show up every so often and make the hero's life completely miserable.
 The relationship between the characters was meant to be adversarial but cordial, in a sort of "I really do apologize for throwing you into that pit of snakes."
 "And I am sorry for crushing your leg with that log," etc.
 Also integral to the story is the fact that Doctor Enigma and the Black Scarab were in love with the same woman, and Esmerelda chose Doctor Enigma. Doctor Enigma didn't age. Esmerelda did.
 So he's young and handsome, and she's elderly and on her deathbed. Not so great.
 But wait. There's more. So the heroes encounter The Black Scarab, and he tells Doctor Enigma that he's dying. The player flips out. He's like "how?"
 The villain says "The ring makes me immortal. It doesn't make me immune to neurological disorders or, unfortunately, Lou Gerihg's disease. So I am looking for a successor."
 They talk for a bit, exchange cordialities, and the villain leaves. An occult plot happens, during which time the Black Scarab is not present.
 So Doctor Enigma gets back to his mansion to discover this heap of ash in his easy chair, along with this note.
 "Dear Doctor Enigma,'
       I must apologize for the unfortunate state in which you find me, but if you are reading this, I am dead. There could truly only be one worthy successor for the power of the Black Scarab, and so I have given it's power to our Esmerelda. I am certain that this gift will be looked upon in the manner in which it was intended.
 Farewell, old enemy,

 The Black Scarab."
 Player: THAT (Censored)! Not only did he restore my wife to health, which I have been unable to do, not only did he turn my own wife against me, and make me incapable of harming my greatest enemy in any way, but now he's DEAD, and I can't do anything about it! And on top of it, the son of a (consored) died in my favorite easy chair!
  So now she's young and attractive, but irredeemably evil! Ooops. Fortunately, the players ALL love this twist, regardless of how mean it is. (And it is pretty mean.)

She was Disney's favorite fairy, until she got involved in the dark future of roller derby!
 
Tinkerball!

My little pony: 50 shades of friendship

Dragon Age of Ultron
 
Ice Age of Ultron

He washed his hands of the death of Jesus, and then devoted his life to women's exercise!
 
Pontius Pilates!

He washed his hands of the death of Jesus, and then devoted his life to women's exercise!
 
Pontius Pilates!

Broke back Ninja Turtles..

An Evangelist, an Ex-President, a Hall of Fame Baseball Player, a Confederate General and a Rapper have nothing in common, but when they come together they make the sweet sounds of soul!
 
Jesse Jackson, Andrew Jackson, Reggie Jackson, Stonewall Jackson and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson are the Jackson Five!

An Evangelist, an Ex-President, a Hall of Fame Baseball Player, a Confederate General and a Rapper have nothing in common, but when they come together they make the sweet sounds of soul!
 
Jesse Jackson, Andrew Jackson, Reggie Jackson, Stonewall Jackson and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson are the Jackson Five!

An Evangelist, an Ex-President, a Hall of Fame Baseball Player, a Confederate General and a Rapper have nothing in common, but when they come together they make the sweet sounds of soul!
 
Jesse Jackson, Andrew Jackson, Reggie Jackson, Stonewall Jackson and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson are the Jackson Five!

Tarzan gets kinky in...
 
Fifty Shades of Greystoke

Egg Foo Yung Guns of Navarone.

Incidentally, this reminds me how in the 1970s, Marvel and DC gave us various black superheroes, who invariably had "Black" in their names: Black Lightning, Black Goliath, Black Panther, etc. Okay, so Black Panther's superhero name would have made sense whatever the character's race, but still -- such names seem *incredibly* dated now, at least to me. They meant well, but such characters just point out how very, um, "white" the comics industry was. "Gawrsh, look at this character, he's BLACK!"
 
It was progress, but thank all gods we've moved beyond it. Heroes and villains can be black, and it matters that the character is black, but it doesn't define the character utterly.
 
I am at least grateful that comics avoided following this clumsy route in the 1990s, as the wider culture became more aware and accepting of LGBTI rights. AFAIK we were spared "Trans Lightning" and "Gay Goliath." Some attempts at respect are worse than scorn.
 
Dean Shomshak

Rocket Red Dawn of the Dead