Ockham's Spoon

Clearly someone got the wrong video feed with this headline

My mother is 4'9" tall but absolutely fearless when approaching strangers. The other day we're walking through the parking lot and there is this pickup truck in the handicapped parking spot with no handicap tags. There is a guy sitting in the drivers seat, so my mother goes up to him and says "Sir, this is a handicap spot. My neighbor is handicapped and it makes it very difficult for her when people take the handicap spots. You can't park here." The guy says "I'm not parked, I'm just stopped." My mother looks him right in the eye and says "Oh, I'm sorry. I see your handicap is mental."

As I get older, I feel very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. Although I have to say her concern about my car warranty is rather obsessive.

Not to derail the thread, but one issue I have with Hit Locations is that if you strategically target them, they tend to be all or nothing. There isn't a mechanic for "you missed the vitals, but still hit the chest or leg" or even if you are trying to disable someone without killing them "you missed the legs but got them in the vitals". That may be good for game-play balance, but strikes me as unrealistic. Has anyone tried something like "miss a targeted shot by 1, and instead you hit an adjacent Hit Location"?

I was explaining to my wife about an article from Bloomberg written by an out-of-touch economist on the topic of inflation and how to avoid its bite. The initial contention was that inflation really only affected people who made below $300k a year, which sort of sounded like the best way to not be affected by inflation was to not be poor. That inauspicious start was then followed up with suggestions like use more public transportation, eat lentils instead of meat, and (I kid you not) let your pets die. Yes, you can tighten up your budget by euthanizing your pets instead of paying for their care. My wife said "Oh my god, I can't believe they printed that! Really? Lentils?" (For the record, my wife is absolutely devoted to our two cats.)

First of all, I am impressed you knew what movie this was. Second, based on this clip, I am impressed it got 7 out of 10 stars on IMDB. I have clearly missed a cinematic gem here, and now must go correct that oversight 😄

There are no other words that sound like "homophone" but are spelled differently. I feel like that is a missed opportunity.

Trying to teach stranger danger to my 7-year old: Me: What would you say if a stranger came up to you and said "I'm your Dad's friend and he asked me to pick you up." 7-year old: You're lying! My Dad doesn't have any friends! Me: Not where I was going, but okay

I agree that unless the character is frail for some specific reason, anyone who adventures regularly is going to be in decent shape. I would be leery of letting someone buy STR with a limitation like that unless they had in in-game justification. Otherwise it smacks of meta-gaming. That said, I have had wizards with spells like "Feather-Pack" which is bought as STR, only to offset Encumbrance, or "Phantom Servant" which is purchased as a Persistent Telekinesis and often used as a pack-horse.

Thank goodness, I was beginning to worry something had happened to Rich

Three doctors, a German, an American, and a Russian, are discussing various surgeries, when the question of what the most difficult operation is comes up. The German doctor says "It has to be brain surgery, it is so complex, and one slip and your patient could be a vegetable." The American doctor says "No, I think it has to be heart surgery. There is such time pressure, and if you make a mistake, your patient dies." They turn to the Russian expectantly, and the Russian says "I find the most difficult surgery to be a tonsillectomy." The American says "That's ridiculous, those are so routine, how could you possibly claim that removing someone's tonsils is the most difficult surgery?" The Russian replies "In Russia, the government keeps everyone so tight-lipped that you have to perform the surgery from the other end."

After their ship went down, two guys find themselves stuck in a life raft. In the small box of supplies they find a pack of cigarettes, but no matches. "Well, what good are these if we don't have any way to light them?" the first guy says. "Give them to me, I have an idea." the second guy says. He opens the pack, pulls out a cigarette, and throws it out of the raft into the water. "What the heck was that supposed to accomplish?" the first guy asks. The second guy responds, "Well, now our life raft is a cigarette lighter."

1001 Arabian Nights. Really this is a collection of short stories, and some were good, but some were terrible and/or stupid. My big problem with it (other than the repetitive descriptions of luxury) was that there were so few likeable protagonists. They aren't clever or skillful or kind, just self-serving. Aladdin is just a lucky twit that is able to use genies for his own personal gain. Sinbad was a particularly awful character with no redeeming qualities whatsoever except that he was lucky to survive all his adventures and get rich in the process. At one point, he literally murders a woman so he can steal her bread and this is portrayed as a shrewd move. The overarching story of Scheherazade was the best aspect of this book (she at least is clever), and the fact that she stopped the king from raping and murdering young women on a regular basis was good, although it isn't like he is ever brought to justice. Arguably she has reformed him, but I don't really buy that. This book really left a bad taste in my mouth.

You can be anything you want on the Internet. It is strange to me that so many people choose to be stupid.

At the safety meeting we had at work, they asked me "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?" "F***ing big ones!" was the wrong answer.

I was surprised when my neighbor got arrested for growing marijuana. Guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.

A little girl asked her mother "Mommy, how was I born?" Her mother replies, "Well, dear, once upon a time, your Daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. So Daddy planted it, and then I took care of it every single day. And it grew and grew and after several months it was a beautiful healthy plant! So then we took the plant and dried it and smoked it and got so high that we screwed without a condom."

I have got to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I'm beginning to think people are taking it as a challenge.