Pariah

Cats are damnably hard to use effectively in a control group.

Q - How do you explain the non-Euclidian driving directions I keep getting on Google Maps? A - Just throw some more on top there. That'll fix it.

By pretty much any real and/or measurable criterion, wouldn't you say?

You're claiming to be real and/or measurable?

"It has no file structure and no external memory connections, and it's $200 more than its competitors, but it's uber-cool because Steve Jobs designed it!" New Topic: New ways to blame our personal problems on superheroes and/or supervillains.

Q - I don't know why you're so upset about our payroll. You're the one who told me to hire an infinite number of monks! A - Hey hey, you're a monkey!

Five-fifteen a.m. Coughing, just like yesterday. Hate this stupid cold.

Would that really fit into the realm of science?

Do I even really want to know?

Where the heck have you guys been for the last three months?

The new software rocks! Still some bugs, but much improved. Simon is The Man.

"Ha! I scored Michael Jordan!" "Um, this is a baseball fantasy league." "Aw, frell."

Q - What is the Americam voting public effectively told every 2/4/6 years at election time? A - I say we nominate him for a Nobel prize.

Q - What can pretty much every seven-year-old say to their grandparents? A - Cream of Arsenic soup.

He says "Fascinating" as he strolls in your direction carrying a cricket bat. New Topic: Superheroes as contestants on game shows.

At my wife's recommendation, I recently read Austenland by Shannon Hale with her. It's the story of a thirtysomething single woman in NYC who keeps (mostly) unintentionally sabotaging her relationships because she's obsessed with Mr. Darcy (specifically as portrayed by Colin Firth) and none of the men in her life can quite measure up. Her wealthy and eccentric great-aunt, who doesn't want to see the girl waste her life this way, bequeaths her a trip to a Pride and Prejudice-themed resort in England, where she spends three weeks living the Regency lifestyle and getting her head together (eventually). It was a fun read. There's also a sequel called Midnight in Austenland, which features a recently divorced single mother who goes to the same resort a season or two later. Her story is complicated by the fact that a murder may or may not have taken place in the middle of everything. Also recommended. (Naturally we had to read Pride and Prejudice after these.)

I read that book on lunch breaks and such once. It took me three months. Not bad.

Q - How am I supposed to play a holographic guitar? A - I like my steaks well-done, but this is ridiculous.

Stay.

Their names are Braun, Rodriguez, Bonds, Sosa, McGuire, Canseco, etc.

Q - Are we really going to watch Gigli? On purpose? Why? A - There is no victory but through surrender.

Two Dire Straits songs for the same topic! I love it!

That ain't workin'. That's the way you do it.

* "Take This Job and Shove It" by Johnny Paycheck * "It's My Job" by Jimmy Buffett * "Manic Monday" by the Bangles

A big thumbs up for "Minimum Wage". (Hyah!")