Pariah

Yes, that's right.

Damned Fratboys. They assume their nude jello wrestling fundraiser needs to involve the whole town.

Me. And it was a drunken bet that I will not repeat again.

Isn't the correct answer to that question technically everyone in this thread?

...and we have a large contingent of anti-vax nutcases in my part of the world as a result.
 
(If I ever meet that guy, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. And by 'piece of my mind' I mean 'boot to the head'.)

#3 reminds me of this one:
 
Always give 100%...unless you're donating blood.

Mulan and Merida, fighting back-to-back, wipe out the rest of the Disney animated canon.
 
New Topic: Subtle signs that Tim Taylor is done putting up with your crap.

Q: What do your players have after a long night session of battling supervillains?
 
A: I don't think "Hangin' with Nathan Hale" is the best choice as a Revolutionary War tag-line.

A farmer had 97 sheep in his field. But when he rounded them up, he had 100.

You are overqualified for American politics, then.

If you can steal from many authors and integrate the stolen bits into a coherent composition, ... you're ahead of a lot of folks.

In my classes they are. Some still choose to roll the dice and hope I won't notice that what they're submitting...
a - Sounds like something written by someone with much more than a high school education,
b - Sounds exactly like what their best friend submitted, and/or
c - Is in a different font/typeface than the rest of their assignment.
 
The only thing more stupid than plagiarizing is plagiarizing stupidly.

In my classes they are. Some still choose to roll the dice and hope I won't notice that what they're submitting...
a - Sounds like something written by someone with much more than a high school education,
b - Sounds exactly like what their best friend submitted, and/or
c - Is in a different font/typeface than the rest of their assignment.
 
The only thing more stupid than plagiarizing is plagiarizing stupidly.

Relish on a salad? Absurd! Everyone knows it was made for the frankfurter.

Who has the Pooper Scooper in his hands?

You mean this?
 

 
 
Or this?
 

"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day, because that means it's going to be up all night." -Stephen Wright

Poetry This Morning


Foot is asleep,
Foot is asleep,
Ow ow ow,
Foot is asleep.
 
Foot is asleep,
Foot is asleep,
Quit sitting cross-legged like that you imbecile,
Foot is asleep.
 

I poured root beer into a square cup. Now it's just beer.

Even late in his life, Roy Orbison was amazing (especially that voice....)
 

I blame the pak'ma'ra. They eat carrion, so I'm pretty sure they'll drink anything.

Which leads to this:
 

 
 
Had a friend in school with Asperger's. He was not an easy person to get along with. Even after we got to college (and he got there a year before I did when he was a year behind me in High School as he dropped out and maxed his ACT) he managed to completely alienate everyone one of our social group. When someone asked how I could stand being his friend, I looked them in the eye and said "If he was intentionally being a dick to everyone then I'd be the first person in line to kick his ass. But he's got issues. Hell, his issues have issues. I've known Kyle for four years. And yes, he can be an annoying little prick. But I know what his home life is like and that he has a condition. And since I actually know who Kyle is and why he is the way he is, I'll still call him my friend even if everyone else in the world hates him."
 
And to this day, as much as the little shit would probably still annoy me, I would call him my friend even though I lost contact with him after he left to join the army when he turned 18 and my poor choices landed me in prison.

Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr, and Dean Martin were walking along the beach when they saw a strange creature that had been washed ashore. Frank took a closer look and said, "What do you think, boys? Some weird kind of fish?"
 
Sammy took a closer look and said, "That's no fish. It doesn't have any fins. It's got to be a snake of some kind."
 
Dean took a closer look and said, "That, my friends, is neither a snake nor a fish. That's a moray."

The Evil Captain Lensflare...