Clonus

https://www.npr.org/2022/08/31/1120166328/jackson-mississippi-water-crisis

In all of my cycles of life in psychology, I have never had as difficult a time as I am now. My superior, a Keglicht by the name of T'chaalhim, ordered me early this daily cycle to study the species that only everyone has been speaking of. *HUMANS.* Bipedal abominations, they recently joined the great Galactic Federation, much to my personal horror. Four cycles after their first introduction, I still struggle with one thing that makes them true "space orks" as some call them. The Abyss. Every damned one of the humans I have studied, spoken with, Striga be damned, even slept with; they all speak of the same thing. The Void, The Abyss, whatever may be synonymous. It makes my fur stand on end. My species calls the Emptiness, and we are raised and schooled on the dangers of falling into this metaphorical "dimension". Then come along the blasted primates, and what do they do? They embrace it. How? They find some reason to justify glimpsing int the dark haze, and they actually find it fun! I often find humans on the station peering through any crack they can find to view the vast Emptiness. I fight internally not to drag them away. Sometimes, they notice me, and drag their muscles in a truly horrific way, calling it a "smile". Only a demon from the depths of space can enjoy staring into the Abyss. I hate it. It goes against everything I know. The Galactic Federation has recommended that any psychologist in the field should attend therapy! I just may do so. That aside, one story has stood out to me. Not because I find it intriguing, quite the opposite. It saddens me, crazy as it may sound. A merchant ship, the *Geithne'il*, was attacked by pirates. The *Geithne'il* had one human as a worker, and when the ship was seiged against, the human took matters in his, paws? Hands?? Anyway, the way he did it? He stole a jumpsuit rated for void usage from one of the Hurjiti technicians, and jumped from an airlock. To the pirate ship! In rumors across the mess hall during the night cycle, I oft hear that he fought his way to the bridge with nothing but his limbs. Just his limbs. It makes me wonder if all humans are like him. Several weeks after, I hear of a message supposedly sent BY the human. It was a pre-recorded message, and it was quite short.....but the meaning of it haunts all who listened to this day. "The Void called, I answered. It wanted it's children back." Soon after, we had an influx of humans traveling through Port. I was wandering around, observing them, when my curiosity peaked. I pulled one aside, a female with long blonde fur and astonishing green eyes. "Excuse me human, but...why are there so...many of your kind?" With that unnerving "smile", she gave me a reply. I weep in fear every time I recall it. "Why, y'all didn't hear? The Void called!" "The Void? Do you mean the Emptiness?" I nervously fiddled with my claws, as I secretly dreaded even communicating with this evilspawn. "Yup! We've been walking in the Void for so darn long, I was wonderin' when He would come a'callin'." "W-w-w-who is...He?" Apparently, many other humans had heard our conversation, as many replied in a terrifying response of yelling and howling, "LEEERRROOOYYY JEENNNKIIIIIINNNNSSSSS!"
 

In all of my cycles of life in psychology, I have never had as difficult a time as I am now. My superior, a Keglicht by the name of T'chaalhim, ordered me early this daily cycle to study the species that only everyone has been speaking of. *HUMANS.* Bipedal abominations, they recently joined the great Galactic Federation, much to my personal horror. Four cycles after their first introduction, I still struggle with one thing that makes them true "space orks" as some call them. The Abyss. Every damned one of the humans I have studied, spoken with, Striga be damned, even slept with; they all speak of the same thing. The Void, The Abyss, whatever may be synonymous. It makes my fur stand on end. My species calls the Emptiness, and we are raised and schooled on the dangers of falling into this metaphorical "dimension". Then come along the blasted primates, and what do they do? They embrace it. How? They find some reason to justify glimpsing int the dark haze, and they actually find it fun! I often find humans on the station peering through any crack they can find to view the vast Emptiness. I fight internally not to drag them away. Sometimes, they notice me, and drag their muscles in a truly horrific way, calling it a "smile". Only a demon from the depths of space can enjoy staring into the Abyss. I hate it. It goes against everything I know. The Galactic Federation has recommended that any psychologist in the field should attend therapy! I just may do so. That aside, one story has stood out to me. Not because I find it intriguing, quite the opposite. It saddens me, crazy as it may sound. A merchant ship, the *Geithne'il*, was attacked by pirates. The *Geithne'il* had one human as a worker, and when the ship was seiged against, the human took matters in his, paws? Hands?? Anyway, the way he did it? He stole a jumpsuit rated for void usage from one of the Hurjiti technicians, and jumped from an airlock. To the pirate ship! In rumors across the mess hall during the night cycle, I oft hear that he fought his way to the bridge with nothing but his limbs. Just his limbs. It makes me wonder if all humans are like him. Several weeks after, I hear of a message supposedly sent BY the human. It was a pre-recorded message, and it was quite short.....but the meaning of it haunts all who listened to this day. "The Void called, I answered. It wanted it's children back." Soon after, we had an influx of humans traveling through Port. I was wandering around, observing them, when my curiosity peaked. I pulled one aside, a female with long blonde fur and astonishing green eyes. "Excuse me human, but...why are there so...many of your kind?" With that unnerving "smile", she gave me a reply. I weep in fear every time I recall it. "Why, y'all didn't hear? The Void called!" "The Void? Do you mean the Emptiness?" I nervously fiddled with my claws, as I secretly dreaded even communicating with this evilspawn. "Yup! We've been walking in the Void for so darn long, I was wonderin' when He would come a'callin'." "W-w-w-who is...He?" Apparently, many other humans had heard our conversation, as many replied in a terrifying response of yelling and howling, "LEEERRROOOYYY JEENNNKIIIIIINNNNSSSSS!"
 

In case you were wondering, the text in the orange banner says "German style" and that's the Spanish flag.  
 

Entirely wrong period in fashion history.

In case you were wondering, the text in the orange banner says "German style" and that's the Spanish flag.  
 

In case you were wondering, the text in the orange banner says "German style" and that's the Spanish flag.  
 

Either way, he got his lab results.  

Either way, he got his lab results.  

The Thing In The Night
ST=20
DX=16
IQ=12 Perception 18
HT=10
SM +1
Advantages:  Unkillable 2, Mindreading, Telesend, +6 Night Vision, Claws, Combat Reflexes, Extra limbs (switchable), Doublejointed
Disadvantage:  Sadist, Feral, Social Stigma Monster, Primitive TL 0, 
Skills:  Traps 14, Stealth 16, Brawling 18, Intimidation 18, Stealth 18,  
Quirks:  Enjoys challenging prey
Taunts it's prey
Sets primitive traps but doesn't use ranged or melee weapons
Sleeps in the day
Don't bother trying to guess what this is, the song is Paralyzed by Aviators. 

Open up a dimensional gate under the sea that leads to a total water world and let the water flood in until everything but the mountains is drowned.
Erase the memories of every human being who isn't under my protection
Trigger an electromagnetic pulse that will fry every civilian computer and power grid on the planet
Start a chain reaction that causes every volcano in the Ring of Fire to erupt, triggering a new Ice Age
Envelope the Earth in a shrink field that causes all humans to reduce in size.
Unite all of humanity into a single harmonious hive mind
Travel back in time and prevent the origins of every superhero.
Expose all of humanity to radiation that will give the survivors superpowers
Replace humanity with android duplicates
Start a zombie epidemic
Cause a nuclear exchange
Invite a invading alien or demonic army
Cause the sun to go nova
Abduct a city to a primitive world and then use it to conquer the natives
Use a power enhancement device to convince the lower level villains to unite and defeat the superheroes and the more powerful villains
Expose the superheroes to something that causes berserk rage, totally discrediting the survivors
Create and spread a biological weapon that will kill 99% of men.
Trap all the players of the most popular MMORPG in virtual reality
Cause every nuclear warhead to spontaneously explode.
Convince a large number of major investment players that the market is about to collapse, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy
Infilitrate the major drug syndicates, then poison the the product to eliminate the addicts.  
Accelerate plant growth so that a years growth happens in a day.  

Reminds me of an idea I had for a would-be alien conqueror who arrived on the planet he was supposed to take over for his overlord only to discover that it was in such a mess and in such constant peril of destruction and conquest that all of his energies ended up getting absorbed into defending the planet and fixing it up, until finally he ended up defending it from his former people.  

Magic is an extremely vague term that is less about defining a thing than defining someone’s attitude toward the thing. Call something “magic” and you are saying one of these things:
There is something about this I could never understand There is something about this I don’t want to want to understand because that would make it less special. While I understand this thing just fine, I don’t want other people to understand it. There is something that we once thought we’d never understand and called magic then, and are still calling “magic” out of force of habit.

Well done.  Quackhell gets the next image.