Michael Hopcroft Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 The things you see when the video director of your local SF convention is a serious student of media history. Last night at Orycon I got to see several episodes of one of the more intriguing footnotes in the hisotry of TV Sci-Fi. Quark was a comedy series commissioned iin the 1970's as a summer replacement. They ordered eight episodes, aired them, and nothing more was heard from it. I don't know if contemporary TV critics even bothered to review it. Sounds forgettable -- until I mention that the series was created and guided by Buck Henry, one of the minds behind the legendary spy spoof Get Smart. The result was anything but forgettable. Quark is cheesy, cheap, full of classic sci-fi cliches turned on their head -- and extremely entertaining. And how it passed Standards and Practices is something I will never know.... The series deatisl the "Adventures" of Adam Quark (an understated Richard benjamin), a Commander in the Space Fleet5. Quark is smart and competent, but he must have done something to offend his uber-bureaucratic superviros Palindrome (Mork and Mindy's Conrad Janis) because he has about the worst position a man of his rank could have -- commander of a galactic garbage scow. Most of the time, Quark's job is to seek out strange new worlds and take away their trash. Not that trouble doesn't have a way of finding him, though -- many is the time a seemingly simple run turned into something much more dangerous. Quark is "aided" (if you can call most of it aid) by a small and throughly eccentric crew. There are two identical and gorgeous women named Betty (one is a clone, but even they have no idea which), both of whom burn with an all-consuming and passionate desire for Quark. "Gene Jean" is a "transmete" -- a person who has a full set of both male and female chormosones. This makes him/her dangerously unstable -- the male side of his personailty is gung-ho and extremely violent, while the female side is a cowardly pacifist who would rather make cookies. And Fiscus is a Vegeton -- a humanoid plant who is extreemly intelligent and knowledgible but incapable of either experienceing "animal" feelings or being at all tactful about it (or anything else). (Like I said I don't know Gene jean in particular made it through Standards and Pracitices in 1978, when nobody talked about gender identity.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithcurtis Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 Re: Quark! I loved that show. I have a cast photo. I used to have several episodes on casette tape (Yes, children, there was a time when there was no such thing as VHS, at least for the common man). I fear to watch it. I know it can't be as funny as I remember. Oh, the Vegeton was Ficus, not Fiscus. Ficus Panderata. He died shortly after the run of the series. That may have something to do with it's non-renewal. He was definitely one of the funniest cast members. Keith "The Galaxy, ad Infinitum! and Happy Holiday Number 11!" Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Anomaly Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 Re: Quark! I remember and love that show, too. I keep expecting that one day they'll make it available on DVD, but no luck so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutant for Hire Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Re: Quark! I have some tapes of the old series. I too pray for a DVD release. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
austenandrews Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Re: Quark! I remember totally digging that show. I'd love to see it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McCoy Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Re: Quark! I saw it in original run. The crew included a robot too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Anomaly Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Re: Quark! Yup. His name was Andy, IIRC. I recall at the end of one episode, where he'd done something especially heroic or self-sacrificing, the crew were telling him how much they appreciated him and that they were going to try and find a way to make him into a human being as a reward. There was a moment's silence, then he started pounding on the airlock crying "Let me out! Let me out!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Re: Quark! One of the all-time funniest moments in Tv Sci-Fi was when the Princess Libido, daughter of the Evil Emperor of the Galaxy, tried to seduce Ficus. he had been ordered to cooperate so Libido would betray her father, but Ficus is a plant so it got rather strange. When Libido realizes that her kisses did not arouse him at all, she asked what he did. he explains that instead of kissing, Vegetons "pollinate". Ficus lies down on the floor, lifts his arms and legs. Libido asks what comes next. So Ficus starts caying "BeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBee". "Now what?" "We wait for the bee." Libido lies down in the same position and they both start saying "BeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBee". They are interrupted by Daddy, who tries to have Ficus killed. And Libido? She becomes really enthusastic about pollination! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyrath Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Re: Quark! When I saw the show I remember thinking that the writers did a good job of making characters who all had their own individual great gimmicks. Logical as well, I'm sure a plant would have even less emotion than Mr. Spock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Frisbee Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 Re: Quark! Oh Lordie! I remember this show! I finally have found people who remember this show! The problem is, those of you posting to the thread remember far more about it than I do... *sigh* I think I'll echo the sentiment that it should be released on DVD. That and the FOX series Whoops! Matt "Loving-the-fuzzy-memories" Frisbee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devlin1 Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 Re: Quark! Y'know, I don't really post around here, but when I saw this thread I had to reply. Though I was but a wee lad at the time, I loved Quark in its original run. I'll be in line for the DVDs when (I'm an optimist) they come out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBikle Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 Re: Quark! Very funny show. I think Tim Thomerson played Gene/Jean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Hiemforth Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 Re: Quark! I thought Gene Jean was from The Gong Show... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdamnhero Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 Re: Quark! Sign another one up for the "I thought I was the only one who remembered that show!" nostalgia train. I thought Gene Jean was from The Gong Show... Oh man, now instead of fond (if fuzzy) memories of Quark I'm going to have images of "Gene Gene the Dancing Machine" stuck in my head all afternoon. bigdamnhero And that’s when I shot him, your honor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBikle Posted November 26, 2005 Report Share Posted November 26, 2005 Re: Quark! Oh man, now instead of fond (if fuzzy) memories of Quark I'm going to have images of "Gene Gene the Dancing Machine" stuck in my head all afternoon. Here you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted November 26, 2005 Report Share Posted November 26, 2005 Re: Quark! I also fonldly remember Quark, and would love to get them on DVD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutant for Hire Posted November 26, 2005 Report Share Posted November 26, 2005 Re: Quark! The question is, does anyone have HERO stats for them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale A. Ward Posted November 26, 2005 Report Share Posted November 26, 2005 Re: Quark! ~looks expectantly towards Michael Surbrook~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithcurtis Posted November 28, 2005 Report Share Posted November 28, 2005 Re: Quark! For reference, the cast members are shown here: Upper right is their boss, Otto Bob Palindrome (You may remember him as Mindy's Dad) Then come the Betty's, (The pretty one is the clone) They flank Andy, the robot built by Quark (I believe the character was retconned a bit during the series) In the center is Adam Quark (Richard Benjamin, a very funny fellow). Lower left is Gene/Jean (The male/female transformation was done with mannerisms; he didn't morph or even change costume) Lower Right is Ficus Panderata, the Vegeton. Keith "Quark Fan" Curtis PS. The photo was a widely and freely distributed promotional photo. I have a copy and nearly every google reference is this image. Posted without permission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2005 Re: Quark! Oh yes, Palindrome, outer space's answer to the Point-Haired Man, only without hair. He was the quintiessential middle-manager -- a nightmare tyrant to those below him on the organizational chart and a shamessly syncophantic toady to those above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyrath Posted November 28, 2005 Report Share Posted November 28, 2005 Re: Quark! There are some images here: http://www.snowcrest.net/fox/quark/galery1/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Frisbee Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 Re: Quark! Thanks for posting the images site! Man, do those images bring back memories -- but does anyone have a link to an episode guide? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 Re: Quark! The Wikipedia article on the series, to which I made some substantial contributions, may have a great deal of what you're looking for.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
incrdbil Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 Re: Quark! For so long I thought I was one of 5 people who remembered this series. Greetings, Brotherhood of the Obscure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 Re: Quark! For so long I thought I was one of 5 people who remembered this series. Greetings, Brotherhood of the Obscure! HI! *waves* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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