Michael Hopcroft Posted June 13, 2015 Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 A: Coulda been Mobile Suit Dentists. Q: "Drill is a Man's Romance?" Will you cut it out with the double entendres already, Konata-chan? A: Hatsune Miku's relationship with the Master Chief appears to be on the rocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 13, 2015 Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Q: How's your fan-fiction coming? A: Kicking the Man of Steel in the balls isn't going to do much more than break your toes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 13, 2015 Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 A: Kicking the Man of Steel in the balls isn't going to do much more than break your toes. Q - Guy Gardner, is that a boot cast you're wearing? A - There's really no such thing as Vitamin J, is there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 13, 2015 Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 A - There's really no such thing as Vitamin J, is there? Q: What made you realize that your infatuation with Ms Johansson had gone too far? A - In the donut shop of life, that counts as a road apple fritter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 13, 2015 Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 A - In the donut shop of life, that counts as a road apple fritter. Q: They hired me at 8:00 and laid me off at 11:30! Why would they even bother? A: He would never knowingly hire anyone who went to a public school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 14, 2015 Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Q: What makes you think Mitt Romney is an Elitist Snob? A: On second thought, lets just forget about the Dork Lord and run off to Vegas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 14, 2015 Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 A: On second thought, lets just forget about the Dork Lord and run off to Vegas. Q: Tickets to the Wil Wheaton event are sold out? A: Are you still talking? Because I can still hit you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Q: Tickets to the Wil Wheaton event are sold out? A: Are you still talking? Because I can still hit you. Q: "And soon I shall rule the... Hey! What are you do?! Are you seriously texting on your iPhone while I'm monologuing?!" A: Take whatever odds a snowball has of surviving the flames of Hell, and then cut them in half. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 A: Take whatever odds a snowball has of surviving the flames of Hell, and then cut them in half. Q: What are the chances of Rick Santorum accepting a chance to be Grand Marshal at the Gay Pride Day parade? A: And that's why God does not play dice with the Universe. The Universe always wins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Q: What are the chances of Rick Santorum accepting a chance to be Grand Marshal at the Gay Pride Day parade? A: And that's why God does not play dice with the Universe. The Universe always wins. Q: What do you mean that we now have a new master for the universe? A: The Queen in a witch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 A: The Queen in a witch. Q: What makes you think Sabrina's found a way to metabolize Compact Discs? A: Your little girl may be so cute it's scary, but my little girl is so scary it's cute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 A: Your little girl may be so cute it's scary, but my little girl is so scary it's cute! Q - Addams, is this your daughter? A - Twice in the morning, once at lunchtime, and three times before bed. And if you wake up in the middle of the night, you're on your own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 A - Twice in the morning, once at lunchtime, and three times before bed. And if you wake up in the middle of the night, you're on your own. Q: I eat small but frequent meals. Can you cook for me? A: Sure there's a point to life. And the edge is pretty sharp too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Q: You named your sword!? A: It's like an Omelet made a baby with a Croissant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 A: It's like an Omelet made a baby with a Croissant! Q: What's the new Burger King breakfast menu items nobody is going to order? A: I'm Pinkie Pie, and I approve this message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 Q: What's the new Burger King breakfast menu items nobody is going to order? A: I'm Pinkie Pie, and I approve this message. Q: Who is making this absurd message about Limburger Pies? A: From the office of the Fifth Assistant to the Deputy Vice President. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 A: I'm Pinkie Pie, and I approve this message. Q: "EAT MORE BLUE STUFF!!"?? A: Sorry, toe cheese is NOT on the list of permitted foods. Nuh-uh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 A: From the office of the Fifth Assistant to the Deputy Vice President. Q: Where did this invoice authorizing a million pounds of Spam come from? A: Sorry, toe cheese is NOT on the list of permitted foods. Nuh-uh. Q: What do you mean my new Cheese-In-a-Can tastes like feet? A: This is how it begins, with lots of "ooohs" and "awwwws." But later there will screaming. And Running. Lot's of Running. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 A: This is how it begins, with lots of "ooohs" and "awwwws." But later there will screaming. And Running. Lot's of Running. Q - These are the newborn pups of Cerberus! Aren't they cute? A - There used to be a man with a stick in his hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 Q: Where are you going with that Chainsaw? A: I would say that the math is beyond your ability to comprehend and the concept would escape you, but I find myself in the same boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 A: I would say that the math is beyond your ability to comprehend and the concept would escape you, but I find myself in the same boat. Q: Take a route across the Atlantic that doesn't cause you to collide with icebergs? Are you nuts? How can we become eternally famous if we don't collide with an iceberg? A: Yes, I know that this plan will result in all 75,000 fans in the stadium meeting a horrible demise, but think of the money we'll get on the insurance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 23, 2015 Report Share Posted June 23, 2015 A: Yes, I know that this plan will result in all 75,000 fans in the stadium meeting a horrible demise, but think of the money we'll get on the insurance! Q - If we release live bears into the stadium at halftime, won't that completely destroy our already-diminishing fan base? Wouldn't it be easier just to move the team back to Los Angeles? A - Sorry, delivery is not available on this order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 23, 2015 Report Share Posted June 23, 2015 Q: I'll have a Double-Armageddon with an Apocalypse to go, please. A: You do and I'll sue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 23, 2015 Report Share Posted June 23, 2015 A: You do and I'll sue! Q: Smoochy, smoochy? A: Sterilize the ground where that happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 A: Sterilize the ground where that happened. Q - Did you hear that Kim Kardashian and Snooki made an instructional video about Kepler's laws of planetary motion? A - Nothing a little molten tin won't fix! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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