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Unreal Darwin Awards


Shadowsoul

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

Not a death, but very fun: I was running a Star Wars game, and they had captured a mercenary. While kneeling, and tied up, he started to taunt one of the Jedi. She got so mad she hauled off and belted him.

 

"Are you sure you want to do this? He's tied up."

"I don't care, I'm really mad at him."

 

She knocked him out, and I gave her a Dark-Side point. She looked at me like I had just killed a puppy.

 

"What's this about?"

"You FILLED YOURSELF WITH RAGE and then STRUCK A HELPLESS CAPTIVE!" Everybody started laughing, and she was just so pissed at me she couldn't talk.

 

After that we started sort of a running joke: "I fill myself with rage and clean the refrigerator!" "I fill myself with rage and scrub the floors." "I fill myself with rage and brush my teeth."

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

The head of Vecna has to show it's ugly face here at some point.

 

Me. Me, personally? Well, Not quite a Darwin. I was playing an 11th level cleric in 1st ED D&D circa 1983. The GM had run an extensive campaign based off the old Role-Aids module The Lich Lords. Man was it ugly. Those dang liches could kill like no ones business.

 

The battle started when our ships were attacked. Luckily there were several 11th-17th level characters who were by this time quite famous for their prowess. Boarding parties launched and counter launched. Dekr (my cleric of Thor) got into a knock down drag out with an axe of Sharpness toting dwarf who had already torn through two party members. I won but at the cost of my hammer arm.

 

Bleeding and battered, I knelt to pray for some sort of intervention. We were getting creamed. Two of the Lich Lords proved to be far too much for us to handle. One had gone into hiding but the other was unloading a can of magic butt kicking.

 

I was rewarded in my prayers. Thor himself appeared to me in a frightening visage (I had to make a saving throw versus Paralyzation/Death Magic just to avoid fleeing in his majesty). Thor granted me a Gem of Might... a shining red crystal pulsing with magic ready to be unleashed on my enemies. All that I needed to do was meditate upon said gem for 777 seconds.

 

I had meditated for 4 rounds when my party fought their way to myself and another party member. Both of us fearsomely wounded. They gathered around while I prepared to layout some holy vengeance.....

 

Then the gem -a delayed blast fireball- exploded. I was brought to negative 49 hit points, several party members were grievously wounded, and another killed.

 

One of the Lich Lords (the one who was in hiding) had gone invisible and cast read thoughts/ESP. When he knew what I was doing, he developed his own plan. His aura of fear nearly made me run away but luckily I was able to make that save... Luckily.

 

A character gamed 2-3 times a week for more than 5 years blown to smithereens by a lich pretending to be Thor. Handing me a delayed blast fireball which I gladly held to my forehead in meditative prayers.

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

early AD&D Campaign, characters are exploring a chain of small islands, when they find an island with a circle of blackened sand in the rough center, there is a sword buried to the hilt in the sand. the characters use a detect magic and its magical, the party of 1-3rd level characters decide discretion being the better part of valor, are going to ignore the sword. that night after the party made camp the thief snuck back to take the sword, immediately after grabbing the sword a Type 1 Demon appears and grabs the thief, and starts flying away with the thief...

 

the thief is beating uselessly on the chest of the demon screaming "Let me go" and finally at about 500 feet up the rather annoyed demon says "Fine Mortal" and does just that

 

the party standing helplessly below decides the only thing they can do is hit the thief with a sleep spell.... and hold up scorecards for the landing

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

Bureau 13 game: the players are sneaking around the desert near Area 51 when the teams van and driver get snatched up by an alien spaceship and encased in a telekinetic force bubble. the driver decides to try escaping from the van, the doors are stuck closed, but he can roll down the windows. after trying to climb out a window to no avail, he decides to blast his way out with a LAW rocket.

 

after being reminded of the backblast from the LAW, he says "No problem, I will just roll down the passenger window and vent the backblast out the other window."

 

the LAW rocket bounces off the forcebubble set 2" outside the windows

to land almost litterally in the players lap, it hadnt armed yet...

however then the player tossed the round in the back of the van where it landed in an open box of grenades or other explosives... player fumbled the roll to toss it someplace safe or at least outside the window. then rolled another 1 for where it landed.

 

the resulting explosion obliterated the van and driver and set off a chain reaction explosion in the ships cargo bay.... crashing and destroying the ship itself.

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

James Bond RPG: just two of us, I was running a DEA agent and my partner was with MI-6, we were investigating drug trafficking to finance terrorism and were in London for a conference[this goes back to the early or mid nineties real time] we had just checked into our hotel when I spotted a guy who we knew was a rogue CIA agent with ties to the russian mafia, and started chasing him, at which point he threw a suitcase at us... in the middle of a crowded hotel, and so I dove to the floor trying to catch the case thinking it might be a bomb or something, only to get a facefull of clothes when it popped open.

 

so we chase him outside the hotel, and he pulls out a skorpion machine pistol and starts shooting at us. while he takes off running. at this point the rogue runs afoul of a little old lady walking her dog as he trips over the leash and falls flat on his face... we arrive on the scene to find the lady beating the rogue to death with a cane, while the dog is chewing on him. we also realize the guy is dead... having bitten on a poison capsule in his mouth. then we watch the dog keel over, the dog having come in contact with the poison on his face or some such.

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

another AD&D Campaign, high level around 12-13ish, we were bashing a set of trapped double doors, my partner in crime was Lord Vas Devrens, the trap caused the two doors when bashed to fold in on themselves and snap shut, usually making a real mess of the bashers. we hit the door as usual, I made a save to avoid, Vas didnt, and when the doors reset there wasnt anything left of Lord Vas except a black oily goo.

 

at which point I looked at the rest of the party and said "He was Lord Vas Devrens... but alas now hes just Lord Vaseline"

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

another AD&D Campaign, high level around 12-13ish, we were bashing a set of trapped double doors, my partner in crime was Lord Vas Devrens, the trap caused the two doors when bashed to fold in on themselves and snap shut, usually making a real mess of the bashers. we hit the door as usual, I made a save to avoid, Vas didnt, and when the doors reset there wasnt anything left of Lord Vas except a black oily goo.

 

at which point I looked at the rest of the party and said "He was Lord Vas Devrens... but alas now hes just Lord Vaseline"

 

There's a Vas Devrens between success and failure?

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

My friend when we first really went beyond basic fighting and stuff got his fighter to become a Lord with keep, land and people.

 

He began to get into being Lord of the Manor and having people and reesponsibilities. But when the GM decided to challenge him - a horde of kobolds infested his forest and began to kill his people and (worse) his game he decided to do something about it.

 

He was 16th level, there were over 200 kobolds in the forest. He decided to do it himself - just him, his +5 plate armour, mega-damage sword and rod of Lordly Might and his warhorse with magical plate barding. There were two councils of war where his advisors pleaded with him to take men with him. He refused. They were only kobolds.

 

He did well initially, over 50 kobolds died swiftly at his hands, all of them failing to take a single hit point off him. He chased the last few towards what he believed was their stronghold. He was right but their leader had prepared. He went through a small copse of tightly placed trees and was inundated with dozens of kobolds, all of them bearing the most dangerous of weapons, weighted ropes and nets and all of them grappling. He waded through - horse advantage gone due to lack of manoueverability - still managing to kill almost another 50 before he found himself on the ground, three kobolds on each arm and leg.

 

The last thing he saw was the kobold chieftain lifting his helmet off his head and raising its club....

 

 

 

...the GM ended the session there and when the next session began he started with "A man walks naked through the forest, he was a Lord, a mighty paragon of justice for his people, now all he hoped for was a club with which to protect himself until he could regain his keep and re-equip himself with a newfound appreciation of the value of tactics over raw power."

 

We thought the GM was very generous.

 

 

Doc

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

Shadowrun: my charakter with an obsession for explosives tried to build his own grenade launcher. so far so good, but I forgot to test my new launcher build from an old chainsaw and some scrap metal.

The Gm told me that It "might" be working.

Well, It doesn´t and I blew myself into a giant ball of meat and electronics :-(

 

 

Wulfi, now I´m gonna try everything before I use it.

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

You can copy the link for a Hero Thread from the web address bar just like anything else. There's an insert link button in the posting task bar.

 

If you left-click on your own Forum Name on a post you made somewhere then you'll be given the option of looking at all the posts you've ever made. You can just trawl through them until you find one on the right thread. Then open it up and copy the link.

 

On the other hand you have a lot of posts so we might just want to use the search button. Google being preferable to the one on this site.

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

A loooong time back (junior high equiv) I was playing D&D. All of us were in a scrap with orcs. My PC is down to 2 HP. What do I decide to do? Barge into the main part of the stronghold, where the chief orc is.

 

Oy. :help::thumbdown:eek::nonp: Never again.

 

(I like to think I've learned a little about tactics since then - or just plain common sense)

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Re: Unreal Darwin Awards

 

Just do a Google search' date=' or a search on YouTube. It's in both places. There is also a www.leeroyjenkins.net site.

 

Is this supposed to mean something? It looks like it's something to do with a WoW character. Does he die in funny ways or something?

 

Edit - I looked at the wikipedia entry. You really have got to be kidding me. That tripe becomes an "internet legend"? Seriously? Sorry, I'll never understand what becomes popular.

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