Zeropoint Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Re: Your evil army That was good, Lucius. I'd rep you if I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Re: Your evil army Achmed the Agile looks out over the enormous army. He raises his voice. "Commanders and most experienced warriors: assemble there." He points. "Await instructions. Oh - and secure HIM." Indicating the unconscious Democulus. "Strip him bare. Carefully, he may have magic boobytraps. If he comes to, warn him to silence. If he says one word, kill him." Turning to the summoner, Achmed barks more orders. "I need you to call Sepherin. And call The Dragon." "A dragon? I just raised an army and you want me to summon a dragon? I can't, boy, I don't have it in me. I don't have energy left to light a candle." "Not A dragon. THE Dragon. And you don't 'summon' Gods like Sepherin, Judge of the Dead or The Dragon, Warden of the Balance. I know nothing of summoning, but I know that. But you were a priest of Sepherin, and you can get His attention." "The last thing I WANT is His attention, but if you're such a fool, slaughter a few dozen soldiers in His Name and He'll know you're here. Whether He responds is up to Him." Achmed looked grim. "I can get His attention with only one death." Turning to the soldiers guarding the fallen Democulus, he raised his voice again. "Bring the prisoner up here." Soon his hated enemy was dumped at his feet, and he crouched down. "I have faked death or unconsciousness myself many times. I know you're faking. Don't dare say a word, Democulus, but I want you to look me in the eyes." When they opened, the defeated villain's eyes were full of hate and helpless rage. "I am sure Sepherin is looking forward to meeting you. Tell Him I have an army a few days march from the Defiled Lands. He has an opportunity that will not come again in a millennia." The hate filled eyes widened in shock. "You'd give this army to the Damned Drowned...." His words died in a gurgling choking cry and his throat was cut. Achmed wiped his blade on the corpse's hair and stood. The look of approval in the eyes of the troops nearby sickened him. He turned to the exhausted summoner. "If I'm to bargain with the Great Corruptor, I need a witness, and there's only one I trust beneath the Pancreator Himself. How do I get the attention of The Dragon?!" Wordlessly the summoner pointed. Achmed looked, puzzled, and then he saw it. A massive shape he had taken for clouds blocking part of the starry sky resolved itself, somehow, into a face. Not a Human face. Awed, Achmed bowed in that direction. Then jerked upright as the body of his enemy stirred and began to drag itself to its feet. The corpse of Democulus spoke. "You have My attention, mortal. And when I'm through using this meat, it is my present to you. Let the lifeless flesh of Democulus serve you, moving at your will, as bound within it the hatred of Democulus smolders. A fitting punishment for a would be usurper, and the smallest part of the rewards I have in mind for you." "Lord of the Dead, I offer to lead this army to take back for You the lands that were Yours, but my price is not undead servants." "Of course. You want your brother back, the noble Ali. Perhaps I can...." "NO!" Achmed trembled with rage, and with terror, for he had interrupted a God. "No. There was a time I wanted that more than anything, but now.....I see it would cheapen his sacrifice. I want more than the life of one man, even the best of men. I want the Balance." He had not been stricken where he stood, so he continued. "I want You in the Defiled Lands, where You belong. I want the usurper Pellnor who dared to steal power from a God, overthrown. I want the Defilement confined to the ancient borders, I want an end to vampires and hags and demons haunting the lands that rightfully belong to the living. You have been called Corruptor, but never have You been utterly Corrupt; always You have been Judge of the Dead, and in that office have condemned none but by their own chosen deeds. I want You honored among the Gods, as once You were." "This, from a mortal who has stumbled into command of an army and has no power of his own and had much to fear from judges even before ever meddling in the affairs of Gods. Even to do as you pledge will risk your life and soul and you may fail. And I suppose you have a plan to return the Amorin to Me, My people who turned from Me when the new God Decker gave them forms like unto those of Humans?" Perhaps some one of the other Gods inspired Achmed to his gambit. "If You return to Your old glory, You to whom every mortal must submit at the end as Judge, if You are honored again as a God of Justice and not feared as an embodiment of revenge and malice, do You not think they would turn to You of their own wills? They know Who gave them Being." And if You do not accept my offer, he thought, I will march in the other direction, and conquer the Bel Kingdom, putting an end to their persecution and violence against all who are unlike themselves, and give it to the Amorin as a homeland, doing all in the name of Decker. That would mark me as Decker's so that even if I fall in the attempt, Sepherin would be obliged to pass my soul on to the Human God - no matter how much the Judge would hate pronouncing that verdict. A voice came from everywhere and nowhere - The Dragon spoke. "The bargain is permitted. The mortal speaks only for himself and offers to attempt only what he may succeed in doing. If the God agrees, He will, if the mortal keeps his end of the bargain, be bound to His allotted land, to His temples, and to His roles: to judge the dead as they die, but not to bring them death before their time; to command the corrupt, but not to spread corruption in any sense; to raise undead to defend what is His, but not to send them abroad to trouble the living; to rule the Defiled, but not to defile further of His own accord. It is for Sepherin to judge whether He accepts these terms." Lucius Alexander Copyright Palindromedary Enterprises I think it goes without saying that there's a catch somewhere in all of that. It's just a question of when the other shoe's going to drop. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DusterBoy Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Re: Your evil army Lucius, there's a god called "Decker"? It wouldn't be this Decker, would it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Re: Your evil army Lucius' date=' there's a god called "Decker"? It wouldn't be this Decker, would it? I didn't create the mythology; here's the game's website. http://trindar.com/ And what I wrote supposes that Achmed will have some more time to mature and get over some things before any such opportunity falls in his lap. Although he HAS told off a major wizard a couple times now......and literally danced on the altar of perhaps the greatest necromancer outside the Defiled Lands.... Lucius Alexander The palindromedary thinks that no matter what, it's probably the God of Chaos that will get Achmed's soul in the end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Re: Your evil army I think it goes without saying that there's a catch somewhere in all of that. It's just a question of when the other shoe's going to drop. Major Tom 2009 If Achmed tries, and fails, he dies in service to Sepherin....and dies FAILING in service to Sepherin. His afterlife would be a horror. That's assuming Pellnor doesn't convert him to undead and add him to the Army of the Defiled. Maybe we should just turn north and march on Bel after all.....their God is dead, so all THEY can do is kill you..... Lucius Alexander The palindromedary doesn't think Achmed the Agile will ever face such a choice anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DusterBoy Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Re: Your evil army Well, I certainly have nothing as inspired (and as dark) as that. I think all my characters would tell the army to go back to where it came from as quickly and as safely as possible. Also most of them would want "a quiet word" with the mystic who summoned the army here in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Weapon Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Re: Your evil army Ok, first of all you have only his word they're evil. Select a few at random and question them about their background, morality, homeland legal codes etc. If it turns out that they are both evil and utterly incapable of disobeying your commands (which is a big philosophical contradictions in my mind) simply tell them "Be good, respectful of the rights of others to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and all the rights that flow from them, and don't steal or start a fight.". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 Re: Your evil army [...]simply tell them "Be good' date=' respectful of the rights of others to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and all the rights that flow from them, and don't steal or start a fight.".[/quote'] As I understand it you have to tell them exact names/descriptions everyone not to be hurt whenever issuing an order, to override their natural evilness/evil instincts on a chase by chase basis. For all orders containing "behave good for the rest of your life", this might only work for some time (one day to a few weeks). Grey Angel: Her nemesis is a robot that tries to create a robot army to take over the world. So replace "magician" with "sentient robot factory" and asume that she somehow managed to get them all imprinted to her as commander: - if they are simple "kill all human" automatons with built in weapons (her nemesis "main type"): "Group in pairs of two units. Shot each other simultaniously into the central pocessor". Thanks to very precise clocks and mental communcation, this problem is solved in less than 5 minutes - complete automated. - if they were built as fully sentient but "imprinted" robots: See above. When they can't even overcome the urge to follow her order, they aren't sentient in her book. Asymovs three laws are a equally "dead end" for her. The only real way to make A.I. is to not make A.I. - it's to make Artifical Personalities (A.P.) and treat them like people. - if they are real people/really sentient robots (say the Decepticons) that are forced to stay/follow her orders by the spell that summoned them, then she would work on sending them back. If all she can do is releasing them, she does exacly that gradually (even if that means 10.000 more Villains). She does her heroing 1960 and want's to prevent WW3, having a Personal Evil Superarmy at her command in the United States is not going to help with that. And if she keeps them, somebody could take the controll via impersonation... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted December 29, 2011 Report Share Posted December 29, 2011 Re: Your evil army Well, they are defined as just people in the OP, but they could be an army of evil amazon beauties. How would that change reactions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alverant Posted December 30, 2011 Report Share Posted December 30, 2011 Re: Your evil army Well' date=' they are defined as just people in the OP, but they could be an army of evil amazon beauties. How would that change reactions?[/quote']Don't amazons kill the man after the (ummm) fun? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 30, 2011 Report Share Posted December 30, 2011 Re: Your evil army Vitus would slowly develop a ghastly grin. "My, I seem to have acquired an army of 100,000 utterly loyal minions. Now, who has pissed me off the most this week?" Zero, appalled, would get them involved in large-scale environmental projects, or UN programs, or something. Keeping them provisioned is going to be a nightmare. ROVER would be baffled by the authority to give an organic orders. Girl Anachronism "Oh! Oooh! I remember how this is going to go! I'd better remember to invest some money 90 years ago, so I can afford to do this now... *checks bank balance* See! I knew I would. OK, all you people? Hello! We're going to have had so much fun! *Splits them up among the hundreds of outstanding projects that simply haven't had the manpower they need - the rebuilding of the nuked parts of Bangladesh, clearing out all those cultist temples and hideouts under Millenium City, marching through Vibora Bay with supersoakers filled with silver nitrate, wolfbane, and holywater, etc....* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 30, 2011 Report Share Posted December 30, 2011 Re: Your evil army Well' date=' they are defined as just people in the OP, but they could be an army of evil amazon beauties. How would that change reactions?[/quote'] It would get moved to another thread, and you know where. Lucius Alexander And an army of palindromedaries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister E Posted December 30, 2011 Report Share Posted December 30, 2011 Re: Your evil army Plutonicman would construct a new underground POW arcology for the evil army inside the hill he standing on, w/ his bare hands. Then Plutonicman would force the evil army to watch him perform an endless series of heavily moralized reenactments of dramatic episodes from his own superheroic life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 Re: Your evil army Don't amazons kill the man after the (ummm) fun? Only their parodies and only if the man is a jerk: http://nonadventures.com/2011/12/03/straight-from-the-norses-mouth/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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