Michael Hopcroft

Q: I've got some extra sauerkraut-and-toadstool sandwiches with arsenic sauce. Want one?
 
A: Maybe thrusting the planet into eternal winter might not be the best way to work off your sister issues after all.

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Spock
Holiday season has him in shock....

Q: LINDSAY LOHAN IS ON FIRE?!?
 
A: As offensive fouls go, that's about as offensive as you can get.

The Amazing Darkon asked for a helmet that isn't made of cardboard.
 
NT: Situations where it might actually benefit you if your helmet is made of cardboard.

Foxbat, wrapped up head to toe in festive green-and-yellow duct tape. That happens to be invulnerable. With just enough spaces left on his head so he can breathe and see.

Q: What makes you think 73 is a different sort of number from 58,124 and 17,862?
 
A: Isocoles Bread buils stong bodies pi ways.

Ah! I knew you weren't really Devil Bunny!
 
Q: Mommy, why does Santa Claus have a barber pole sticking out of his chest?
 
A: It should be noted at this time that I did not tell you that throwing live turkeys out of a helicopter from two thousand feet was a good idea.

Q: What did your PC say when you tried to install Windows 8?
 
A: Even Siri thinks you're a jerk.

It's worse than that, he's pregnant, Jim!

I'd suggest Twilight versus Buffy but it would be a very short movie. "Roll opening credits. Buffy stakes Edward and refers Bella to therapy. roll end credits."

"Ugh! This gin is awful! Did you make it in the bathtub?"
 
"No, not the bathtub."
 
"Then where?"
 
"In the -- um,in the -- Oh, look! the appetizers are ready!"

I'm blaming Obama for all those people blaming Obama...   Wait... 

"Ever since Iron Man went public with his identity, not one of the girls I meet will give me the time of day."

"Ever since Iron Man went public with his identity, not one of the girls I meet will give me the time of day."

"It has no file structure and no external memory connections, and it's $200 more than its competitors, but it's uber-cool because Steve Jobs designed it!"
 
New Topic: New ways to blame our personal problems on superheroes and/or supervillains.

"What do you mean every player on my roster got suspended?"
 
NT: Subtle signs the man selling you your new taablet computer is out of his mind.

"Now that we've passed a ban on illegal drugs and guns, we will outlaw crime!"
 
NT: Subtle signs your kid's entire kindergarten class is on steroids.

Q: What do you mean my new girlfriend built a steam-powered bipedal hunter robot thing in my backyard using only the parts from a pot-bellied stove?
 
A: You will understand in due time. Here! Drink this!

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

Sea Slug Man, Sea Slug Man!
Does Whatever a Sea Slug can!
Lies around in the drink!
Doesn't move, doesn't think!
Please don't step on the Sea Slug Man!

Re: Self Defeating Powers
 

And there you have the Tex Avery Uberbabe, wioth the Limitation "Only Against Wolves" (-1).
 
What is the game effect of having an extremely high COM (or for that matter an extremely low one)? And wouldn't it be relative anyway? (Miss Gondor with COM 25 would knock Men and Hobbits for a loop, but she'd still be an ugly human to an Orc!)

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

"I can't believe the Bastille is being stormed by mimes."
"What do they want?"
"How would I know? They haven't said a word! besides, the guy we sent to negotiate hasn't come back. Wait -- there he is. Captain, we'd better send out a rescue party."
"Why?"
"Because they've locked him in an invisble box."
"AGAIN?"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

Fellatia the Extremely Skilled
 
NT: "Oh great! A thousand cursed sptings here at Jusenkyo, and I had to pick The Spring Of Drowned _________! I am so screwed!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

The entire nation of Paraguay in ruins at my feet? How did that happen? I've never done THAT before!!!!!!

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
So I asked her "Would you have sex with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" and she said "Sure! Can you arrange it?", and I answered "No, but you can have sex with me for ten bucks if you want!", then she said "WHAT do you think I AM?" and I said "I KNOW what you are -- maybe you want twenty bucks?" -- and that's when she hit me.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat