Badger

Magic: The Gathering. Because Pokemon.

Seppuku sounds too easy. I'd rather the Spanish Inquisition get me (and take their time afterwards), than deal with LA or NY for 5 minutes

I screwed by forgetting the challenge again. Polar Bear vs Wampa

Mayans have the rep, and probably get the win, but if it is a seafaring contest of any sort bet on the Polynesians. (although maybe the Polynesians should get a win on account of their women, the crew of the Bounty evidently thought a mutiny was worth the trouble)

Course, A-Rod did last 13 years in NY, albeit as a headache. And he did get himself a ring.

Probably shouldn't dig under an outhouse, water or not

I do have to admit I don't really like eating out (or shopping at Wal-Mart*) because of noise. *Never shop there the Saturday before Christmas. The noise did cause me to have a near-freakout. Afterwards, at lunch I ate 2 slices of pizza in about a minute and a half out of nervousness and had hiccups the rest of the weekend. And at one point at Wal-Mart, the dope in front of me, decided to stop right in the middle of the aisle, I took the long way around because I was literally almost ready to start pushing him out of the way from panic. Not doing that again. (and I've only gone to Wal-Mart about 3 times in the decade since)

Hmm, my mother has complained of dizziness when she has had too much salt in the past. (though she only gets too much salt really from outside food, she doesn't add salt, and usually avoids high sodium food).

Those bears are now being laughed at by their brethren.

Well, if he can do the first 2 mentioned, he'll at least be valuable. Wont stop him from being a disappointment at #2 (and Daddy Ball want help matters) but he at least will not be Darko Milicic.

Yeah, even Stephen Curry is allowed a bad game or 2.

Did you ever consider that was his superpower?

I prefer Jam. Aztec vs Inca

COurse, at least in baseball season, the East Coast does get screwed due to the determination to make sure the games dont start until just before bedtime of most kids. Though, working 2nd shift, it works for me. (I can actually watch the end of the game when I get home). If it wasnt for the Nationals/Orioles station replaying games late at night, I'd only be able to watch games on the weekend during the season. (even though I dislike the Orioles, and am neutral on the Nationals)

Spongebob vs Ariel the mermaid

Small dog, theoretically cheaper (though cats are better still). Big dogs will eat like a husky teenager, I poop all over your yard.

Is kind of ironic, most sports seem to see the talent go East. (albeit the gap in football and baseball doesn't seem as wide as in basketball)

supervolcano vs asteroid

hamburgers, because the church socials in my youth loved getting the cheap hot dogs that always made me sick.

Ricky Ricardo's head explodes! (at least it wasn't rough, through, etc)

"Holiday" Movies Independence Day vs Groundhog Day

Books, you can actually read them when the power goes out.

Australia returns! Australia vs Hell (not the town in Michigan)

Sphincter, if not for its strength, I would have messed my pants at a bad time on more than one occasion

I completely forgot to add one: Maleficent vs Evil-Lyn (He-Man franchise)