Bazza

1. Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
2. Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
3. Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

American Idol.

I prefer to keep my plasma inside me, not on the wall or on my desk.

Re: Cyclone Monica
 

Best wishes!

Re: The Last Word
 

 
I just thought of the other most common trait associated with dragons - fire breathing.
 
As you know, plasma can be controlled with magnetic fields. You may not be able to crush the dragon, but you could certainly cook it with its own breath.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
I got this from these boards but the link (from the Old Boards) isn't working so I'm posting them again. Hope you get a smile.
 
 
Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Lovecraft...
 
Irrational fear is a God-given gift. Listen to your inner snivelling coward.
 
If you inherit an ancient house from a distant relative, burn it down for the insurance money no matter what riches the will promises if you move in.
 
Never read aloud, especially if the text is in a language other than modern English.
 
No matter how cute she is, never date the captain of the Innsmouth High School swim team.
 
If you hear a strange noise and your pet runs for cover, follow it.
 
Don't swim off Devil's Reef.
 
If you find unusual geometric markings on the floor of your newly aquired colonial house, redecorate (quickly)!
 
Don't go in the attic/cellar/old barn/hidden passageway.
 
Distrust strangers with expressionless, immobile faces, especially if they wear archaic clothing.
 
Curiosity killed the cat -- and your scholarly great-uncle, and his cleaning woman, and his next-door neighbor.
 
Install electric lighting.
 
Life's a beach, then you mutate.
 
Those ten-foot cone things in the basement are NOT part of mansion's heating or plumbing systems. Stay away from them.
 
If a friend or relative doesn't seem like himself, he isn't.
 
Why don't you skip that overseas expedition and subscribe to National Geographic instead?
 
Let the Arkham County sheriff investigate. That's what you're paying taxes for.
 
There is no need to repeat onself. If the word Hastur makes no sense the first time, it won't make any on the second. What could make the third time different?
 
When you are reading your late uncles diary and he talks about unspeakable horrors that are stealing his soul, it is never too soon to run screaming from the house.
 
Some colors really are evil.
 
Don't stay in any rooms whose corners meet at strange angles.
 
If you receive a strange book or manuscript in the mail from a relative you barely know, don't read it at night under bright starlight. Go to a crowded park or mall at noon and read it there.
 
If you find yourself in a town in the middle of nowhere that appears to have been forgotten by time, and one of the residents advises you to leave, take his advice.
 
Carry a flashlight at all times. In fact, carry a whole bunch. Carry bright halogen surefires, unbreakable LED flashlights, and million candle spotlights like in the X-Files. Tie them to your body so you don't lose them. And check the batteries.
 
If you find a bricked up opening/doorway, leave it blocked.
 
STAY AWAY FROM THE WELL!!!
 
Don't feed the ghouls.
 
Before you dismiss local tradition as "old wives' tales," recall that old wives are frequently correct.
 
Yes, Virginia, there is a Cthulhu.
 
Archaeology and library science are hazardous, stressful careers. Choose something safer, such as NASCAR racing or the U.S. Marines.
 
If an exotic men's fraternal organization opens in that old, abandoned church, politely refuse its membership drive and volunteer as a Scout master instead.
 
Should you insist on dating the captain of the Innsmouth High School swim team, avoid movies such as "The Little Mermaid," "Creature From the Black Lagoon," or "Jaws."
 
MS doesn't always mean muscular schlerosis, sometimes it means something -really- bad like Miskatonic State or Microsoft Software.
 
If you decide that all of this well intended advice must be ignored in a particular case, always investigate with someone who cannot run as fast as you.
 
As horrible as those old books are, volunteer to read them over investigating the odd light in the swamp, in-bred hill-billies, haunted house, or dubious new cult.
 
Don't eat the native cuisine of any foreign tribe whose name you cannot pronounce.
 
Cremation, its cheap, clean and protects you from unpleasant post-mortem surprises.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 
You know it's not your lucky life when the nymphos/himbos ignore you and seduce your cuddy plush death tribble.

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
Wow. Just, wow. It's been some kinda one crazy year.
 
I do not want to do that again.
 
Ever.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

*backpeddling* Oh you want a fair fight? I'll take the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography (60 volumes) with the OED (20 volumes) in reserve. In the interest of fairness, I'll allow you to use the Sefer ha-Zohar as well.
 
 
(somehow I think these words will hurt regardless of what the childrens' phrase says. )

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
Joy of tech comic XP on iMac
http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/index.html

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

I want some too [note the date]

Re: The Last Word
 
The wedding invitation
 
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend well she was a dream!
 
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
 
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
 
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
 
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the Wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
 
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
 
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
 
When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
 
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
 
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
 
 
 
The moral of this story is:
 
Always keep your condoms in your car!

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
I have been particularly witty and clever today.
 
I await my rep. *Checks mail box*
 
Dang.
 
EDIT: Gosh folks are nice. Thanks

Re: The "Nice Happy" Thread
 
No thread dedicated to me, that's embarrassing . Just the nice things in my rep messages. You guys are keen.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

All the spectators have left and you're still going.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
. . . How's your score? How geeky are you?
 
A good while ago, there was a test for nerdity and geekiness. I think I scored 24%.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
history-believe it or not
 
The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling! Kids should rule the world, as it would be a laugh a minute for us adults and therefore no time to war or argue.
 
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Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
 
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Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it .
 
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Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too.
 
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The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.
 
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Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock . Which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a Dramatic decline.
 
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In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.
 
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Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."
 
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Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems.
 
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Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen," As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.
 
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It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
 
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Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented Cigarettes and started smoking.
 
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Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.
 
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The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
 
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Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He Wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
 
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Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by Rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
 
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Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.
 
_________________________________________________________________
 
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got Shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career
 
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Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
 
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Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
 
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The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
 
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Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
 
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Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.
 
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Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.
 
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Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.
 
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Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
HOMELAND SECURITY DEPARTMENT UNVEILS CHENEY ALERT SYSTEM
Color-coded System Would Warn Nation of Future Attacks by Veep
Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced today that his department would immediately implement a Cheney Alertsystem to warn Americans if an attack by Vice President Dick Cheney is imminent.
 
The Department of Homeland Security has been under pressure to respond to the widespread panic and anxiety that have gripped the nation since Mr. Cheney shot and wounded a fellow quail hunter while on a hunting trip in Texas over the weekend.
 
Across the country, people have holed up in their homes and hoarded food and water, fearing another senseless attack by the gun-toting vice president.
 
"What we have learned, the hard way, is that Dick Cheney can attack without warning," Mr. Chertoff said. "It is our hope that with this Cheney Alert system we will be able to give the American people some warning before he strikes again.
 
The alert system, with five color-coded levels indicating the likelihood of another brutal pellet attack by the Vice President, was derided by some in Congress such as Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del), who likened it to "closing the barn door after the horses have escaped".
 
"The fact is, the White House already had ample warning that Dick Cheney was going to strike, and they sat on their hands and did nothing," Mr. Biden said, referring to a Presidential Daily Brief dated February 4 with the title, "Dick Cheney Determined to Strike in US".

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

It doesn't take a genius to work it out.
 
Who Posted?
Total Posts: 9,498
User Name Posts
Tim 1,781
Klytus 1,038
death tribble 1,002
 
Top three posters in the Answers & Questions thread.

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
Did anyone else catch that Lou Ferringo was made a Reserve Deputy Sherriff in Los Angeles ?
 
'Excuse me sir, Licence and Registration'
 
'I don't happen to have it, pig'
 
'Licence and registration or
 
HULK SMASH ! '
 
'ok'

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
How's this?
 
Luck 4d6 (20 Active Points); 1 Charge (-2), Only to help SuperSquirrel to get a job Power loses about half of its effectiveness (-1), No rainchecks or take-backs Power loses about a third of its effectiveness (-1/2) Real Cost: 4

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

 
Not sure, but I'd guess Zanoni, from the Bulwer-Lyton story of the same name. I've tried to read the e-text, but it's not in a modern enough style for me to get into these days.
 
Zanoni is an immortal mystic who gives up most of his powers out of love for an ordinary girl. This turns out to be a bad deal for everyone concerned.
 
Or it could have been a comment on "The Coming Race", a sci fi that helped start the lost world with near-magical science genre, but the Vril-ya were not exactly men at all.

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 

 
As they would say on FIREFLY ... Shiney!
 
PDS

Re: The Last Word
 
Cry fowl, and let loose the ducks of war.