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Samuraiko

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Posts posted by Samuraiko

  5. The cranky thread

    in Non-Gaming Discussion

    Posted

    Re: The cranky thread

     

    *wanders on grumbling*

     

    I just want to beat the tar out of the server teams in AHS and ATS at work. They didn't tell me they were migrating my site onto another server, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I couldn't republish my site with all the updates I'd made (or see the stats of the visitors right after I'd sent out a bunch of email announcements).

     

    Pooheads.

     

    On the bright side, in its first month, ANDTHEGREATESTOFTHESE.COM saw over 300 visitors (most of them unique, meaning that it's not the same five people showing up over and over again).

     

    And my shoulder hurts like hell, this humidity thing is going to be the death of me. I should really start thinking about moving out of state during the entire month of August.

     

    Michelle

    aka

    Samuraiko

  13. Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

    in Champions

    Posted

    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

     

    From Saturday's Champions game.

     

    The PCs are invited back to the Homestead after stopping the Horizon Casino from robbed and/or demolished. When Defender asks the PCs if they are willing to trust the Champions and work with them, Midnight (my PC) looks at him and says, "I'll show my face if you show yours."

     

    He thinks for a moment, obviously weighing this one up, then he removes his face plate. At which point Midnight stares, and then bursts out in uproarious laughter as she removes her own mask and hat. Defender stares at her, his jaw hanging open in disbelief as he realizes that Midnight is, in fact, the multimillionaire playgirl gambler who owns the estate next to his.

     

    Defender: "You're s***ing me."

     

    Michelle

    aka

    Samuraiko

  19. Your character's theme song would be?

    in Champions

    Posted

    Re: Your character's theme song would be?

     

    Neat! Here are mine! And in true Samuraiko fashion, they include both soundtrack and score listings. :D

     

    Michelle

    aka

    Samuraiko

     

    TaraLeila MacIntyre (7th Sea) - "I Stand Alone" by Godsmack/"Rogue Highlands Outtake" by Matt Uelman (the Diablo II score)

     

    Kakita Nasami (Legend of the Five Rings) - "Flash of the Blade" by Iron Maiden/"Calling Wisdom" by Karunesh

     

    Genevra Adair (Star Wars) - "Born for Adventure" by Styx/"The Asteroid Field" by John Williams (the Empire Strikes Back score)

     

    Christian Apollyon (Mutant Chronicles) - "Burning Times" by Iced Earth/"Escape from Mantua" by Craig Armstrong (the Romeo and Juliet score)

     

    Sarina Blackstone (AD&D) - "The Murderess" by Kim Fox and Kat Bjelland (the Songs of the Witchblade soundtrack)/"Escape" by Craig Armstrong (the Plunkett & Macleane score)

     

    Maureen D'Arcy aka Midnight (Champions) - "Turn of a Friendly Card" by the Alan Parsons Project/"The Hotel" by Jerry Goldsmith (the Shadow score)

     

    Jessica Murdock aka SR-71 (Shadowrun) - "High Voltage" by Linkin Park/"Pipeline" by David Arnold (the World Is Not Enough score)

     

    Tiriana Stormblade (Spelljammer) - "Maniac" by Michael Sembello/"You Have the Power" by Trevor Jones (the Dark City score)

     

    Kuni Shinonome (Legend of the Five Rings) - "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins/"Duel of the Fates" by John Williams (the Star Wars: the Phantom Menace score)

     

    Suishoku Kurenai (Champions) - "To Live Forever" by Dream Theater/"Awake" by Yuki Kajiura (the Aquarian Age soundtrack)

  20. A Thread for Random Musings

    in Non-Gaming Discussion

    Posted

    Re: A Thread for Random Musings

     

    I can't BELIEVE I'm stuck at work today... this is SO boring!

     

    So I'm keeping busy by doing other stuff... getting my website out onto the Internet (just submitted it to over 100+ search engines), watching my videos on it, next I'll start playing Jewel Quest or something...

     

    Boring, boring, boring...

     

    Michelle

    aka

    Samuraiko

  21. Your Character's Room at the Base

    in Champions

    Posted

    Re: Your Character's Room at the Base

     

    Midnight's room? Zen Decadent. It might be simplistic in its looks, but you can bet she's got silk sheets, the most expensive wall scrolls money can buy, a REAL daisho from Japan (you know, the kind that's normally in a museum somewhere), and so on.

     

    And she's probably fairly close to the base kitchen, and if it doesn't already have one, it's a safe assumption she put in a wine cellar.

     

    Michelle

    aka

    Samuraiko

  22. A Thread for Random Musings

    in Non-Gaming Discussion

    Posted

    Re: A Thread for Random Musings

     

    This is my job, in gaming terms.

     

    Michelle

    aka

    Samuraiko

     

    chonjurer's D&D Help Desk

     

    The New Guy sits down at the cubicle, this being his first day on the job. He is excited to be helping thousands of D&D players across the globe. It feels so magical being here. A figure approaches, the mentor who will train him.

     

    chonjurer: Ahhh, you must be the new guy. So are ya excited?

    New Guy: This is great. I can’t wait to get started.

    chonjurer: Yeah, Yeah. They all say that. Wait until you talk to about 1000 of these people and we will see. Alrighty then, lets get started.

     

    *Phone Rings*

     

    chonjurer: Thank you for calling D&D Help Desk. Your call is very important to us. Please hold until one of our qualified specialists can help you.

     

    *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and begins reading*

     

    New Guy: What are you doing?

    chonjurer: Always put them on hold at the beginning of the call. Lets them know who is in charge. You can’t show weakness to the average gamer. Once they smell fear, they have you! Ok, now we are ready. (Hits Talk Button) Thank you for holding. Please Hold. (Hits Hold button).

     

    *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and continues reading. 10 minutes later hits talk button.*

     

    chonjurer: Ok, thanks for holding. How can I help you?

    Customer #1: Ok, I am having a problem with my group. They seem to be killing all my monsters. They are just pushing me around. My latest effort was to send 4 Tarrasques at them. They keep critical hitting them once they are swallowed and…

    chonjurer: Ok, Ok. Hold on a moment sir. Do you have a Monster Manual or Dungeon Masters Guide?

    Customer #1: Ummm, yes.

    chonjurer: Ok Sir, I think I have found your problem. It sounds like the issue is you haven’t read them. Knowing the rules gives you a framework to actually running the game. It sounds like your players are doing that for you. I can’t really help you though with your lack of backbone. I suggest some Self-Help courses. See how that goes, and give us a call back. *Click*

    New Guy: Umm… the way you… so does that…

    chonjurer: Happen a lot. Yeah. We call them Leapers then Panickers. They never read the rules and their friends eat them alive.

     

    *In the distance there is an anguished scream*

     

    chonjurer: Poor Arturick. By the gods.

    New Guy: What is wrong with him?

    chonjurer: He got ‘promoted’ to Forgotten Realms support. It’s rough because you also have to answer questions on using the novels in your game. Buddy, after you deal with 100 callers asking about how to make their characters like Elminster or Drizz’t, you are ready to take anyone’s head off with a shovel.

    New Guy: Who is that guy way over there in the corner. Why are there cobwebs all over him?

    chonjurer: That is Roele. He does Legacy Birthright Support. Hasn’t had a call in years. They keep him there just in case. We have an office pool that costs $5 to enter. The bet is when the spiders will eat him. Well then, next caller.

     

    *Phone Rings*

     

    chonjurer: Thank you for calling D&D Help Desk. Your call is very important to us. Please hold until one of our qualified specialists can help you.

     

    *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and begins reading*

     

    chonjurer: Ok, thanks for holding. How can I help you?

    Customer #2: I WANT A PROBLEM FIXED!!! I rolled up a Ranger and played him up to 20th level. I have +25/+20/+15/+10 to attack. My sister rolls up a Cleric and she has comparable combat ability with a +19/+14/+8 and can cast spells. THERE IS NO CLASS BALANCE!!! RANGERS SUCK!!! I sat down and calculated the feats, skills, and bonuses. They don’t stack up to other classes. I rolled up a far better…

     

    *chonjurer hits the mute button *

     

    chonjurer: Ugghhh. These are the worst kind. No matter what it is… it sucks. This guy could be given a Vorpal Sword by his DM, and he will still say it sucks. (Hits Talk Button). Ok Sir, if you read your DMG, then you realize that the DM can customize the core rules. In D&D terminology we call them "House Rules". You will need to talk to your DM…

    Customer #2: THIS SUCKS!!! THEY SHOULD BE INCLUDED IN…

    chonjurer: Please hold while I concur with my supervisor.

     

    *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and begins reading*

     

    New Guy: What if he has a valid point?

    chonjurer (dripping in sarcasm): Oh they all have ‘valid’ points and can design the game better. Believe me, the average gamer is never right in matters of fact. Only opinion. Newbie, we just can’t let the floodgates open. The hyperinflation of abilities and bonuses will end D20 as we know it. We'll end up with D100, or worse… turn into FASA.

    New Guy: I see your point.

    chonjurer: Hey, look lively. The Supervisor is coming.

    Jenny: Good Morning!!! What a wonderful day!!! How are things going chonjurer? Difficult caller?

    chonjurer: Your standard rules whiner. You know, the everything sucks type. I can’t seem to talk him down. Listen to this…

    Jenny: Boy he is a one sad kitten. Well he isn’t going to ruin my day. Let me talk to him. (Gets on phone). Sir, I really understand your point of view but won’t changing the rules make your sister feel bad. What about other people who play Clerics. A cleric is hard enough as it is to role-play…

    Customer #2: SHE IS A PACIFISTIC CLERIC OF SUNE AND STILL MORE POWERFUL THAN ME!!!!!!

    Jenny: Well Sir, I would really like to be helpful to your problem, really, but this a Forgotten Realms issue, let me transfer you too one of our highly trained…

    Customer #2: NO… PLEASE!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! NO TRANSFERS!!!

    Jenny: (Smiles Evilly) You have yourself a wonderful, special day now… (click).

     

    *In the distance a phone rings and there is an anguished scream*

     

    chonjurer: SORRY!!! Hey thanks for the assist Jenny. This is the New Guy.

    Jenny: Nice to meet you. Remember Mr. Newbie, Be friendly, nice, and all will be fine. I have to check on the others. Bye Now.

    New Guy: She scares me.

    chonjurer: Don’t worry about it. Jenny’s cool. Only be scared when you get your Pink Slip with smiley faces on it. Onto the next call.

     

    *Phone Rings*

     

    chonjurer: Thank you for calling D&D Help Desk. Your call is very important to us. Please hold until one of our qualified specialists can help you.

     

    *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and begins reading*

     

    chonjurer: Look at this article. Nice supplements on Dwarves. Boy I can see the calls on this template already… people need to stop taking this stuff as if it is "mandatory canon". You would swear that the word optional isn’t in the English language.

    New Guy: It seems you get nothing but complainers and people that don’t use common sense?

    chonjurer: Boy you catch on quick. (Hits Talk Button) Ok, thanks for holding. How can I help you?

    Customer #3 (Hysterical): I‘m having major problems!!! I am in the middle of my gaming session and I am trying to calculate XP. I was on the phone with someone named Josh and he explained CR to me. I just can’t figure this out!!!

    chonjurer: Okay Sir, let me ask you something. Do all the appliances in your house flash 12:00am?

    Customer #3 (Sobbing): Yes.

    chonjurer: Okay Sir. Please Hold. (Presses Hold and tosses headset down). Oh boy. We have a 12 o’clock Flasher. He can’t set any of his appliances and can’t figure out directions. There is no possible way for a 12 o’clock Flasher to calculate XP for a gaming group. If he has already talked to Josh, gone though the "baby-steps" of CR, then we are in big trouble. I have seen people eat their headsets trying to get these guys to calculate XP.

    New Guy: What are you going to do?

    chonjurer: The only thing I can. (Puts headset on and Presses Talk Button). Okay Sir, do you happen to have a small child nearby… you do!!! Great!!!! Put them on!!!

    Hi, what is your name? Jessica? Hey that is a wonderful name. Jessica, your Daddy is trying to calculate XP for your gaming group. Could you look at his encounter sheet… yeah… that is right… yep… adjust for the levels and divide by the number of players. Very Good.!!

    Ok this is what I want you to do. I want you to tell your Daddy to give you the Books. Yes. I want you to take over running his gaming group. Tell your daddy he should go out an buy "Pokemon Cards". Yes. That is Gaming for Mommies and Daddies. No I don’t need to talk to him. Have a nice day now… *click*

    chonjurer: Phew. That was a close call. Whoa. Hey I need a break. Why don’t you take over for a few…..be right back.

     

    *Phone Rings*

     

    New Guy: Thank you for calling D&D Help Desk. Your call is very important to us. Please hold until one of our qualified specialists can help you.

  23. Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

    in Champions

    Posted

    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

     

    From Sunday's 7th Sea game...

     

    The Castillian in our group (who has been giving the Montaigne no end of grief) is leading a group of Montaigne toward the city walls (which have just been blasted by cannon fire) to try and rescue those who are trapped.

     

    "Come on, put your backs into it!" he urges them, and then, to lead by example, rolls his Brawn check to lift a rock.

     

    And rolls a 4. This is bad. Really, really bad. The entire game screeches to a halt as the players fall over from hysterical laughter.

     

    This led to a volley of good-natured insults being thrown at the player, ranging from:

     

    "Okay, now someone put the papier-mache rock back so Inigo can lift it."

     

    to

     

    "No wonder you have the Whirl skill, it's the only way you can actually lift a sword! By using centrifugal force!"

     

    and

     

    "I can see it now - the Montaigne all probably have the "WTF" look on their face... or however you say WTF in French."

     

     

    Another good one came from the Highlander and one of the Vodacce stopping a group of infiltrators from firing the cannons again by taking the commander hostage.

     

    Montaigne soldier (not realizing that the commander is a spy): "Why should we take your word over his?"

    Vera (who has the commander at gunpoint): "Because if you don't, most of his head will be all over you."

     

    Michelle

    aka

    Samuraiko

  25. A Thread for Random Musings

    in Non-Gaming Discussion

    Posted

    Re: A Thread for Random Musings

     

    I am quite mystified as to why I can create a Flash animation in Powerbullet, but for some weird reason, it won't automatically play when I open it in an HTML document... most odd. I have to right-click on it and TELL it to play...

     

    Michelle

    aka

    Samuraiko

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