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"Ralph?  Could I have a word with you?"

 
"I would beg to differ as well."

 
"Yeah, what are we?  Chopped liver?"

 
"You wouldn't say that bound by the Lasso of Truth."

"RRRAAAUUGGHHH!!!"

 
"Nuff Said!"

How does a cockney barber cut hair?
 
 

Why are snakes measured in meters?
 
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Don't forget, the gold standard for intelligence on Earth is humans.

I went in for surgery a while back. The anaesthesiologist said there were two options. First, he could put me under using traditional, if outdated, anaesthesia. Second, he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. It was an ether/oar scenario. 

The only reason this has never happened to me is that I don't drink coffee. The rest of it, though? Spot on.

Toys-R-Us To Attempt Brick & Mortar Comeback Again
 

Lego Releases Anti-Lego Slippers

My newest brilliant idea: Calling in healthy to work.
 
"Yeah, boss, I'm not going to be in today. I'm feeling fantastic today, and I don't feel like throwing the day away by spending it with you yahoos."

Has this happened to you as a player-hero?  Could your character punch over a hundred people in the mouth?  Or could you find a better way to handle the matter?

Actually, it's a short read.  The first 2 paragraphs:
 
 
I mean, they try SO HARD to suppress voting rights, then this stupid singer-chick disrupts their plans???  HOW DARE SHE?  DOES SHE KNOW WHO WE ARE??????

She’s allegedly dating Travis Kelce and is encouraging people to register to vote in high population areas. They’ll fixate on less.
 
 Oh and she’s an outspoken ally of LGBTQ groups and has been moving away from her historically apolitical positions to support progressive policies more openly. I figure they thought she was apolitical because she was secretly endorsing GOP positions, and there’s a sense of betrayal. 
 
People really really care what popular performers think about public policy and politics these days, so they’ve apparently tagged her as an adversary.