Pariah

Denatured alcohol

Speaking of NIL... Revamped Utah bill aims to exempt college athletes' NIL agreements from open records law

According to NOAA's Pacific Marine Environmental Laboratory, the Earth's oceans have a carbonate ion concentration of about 0.002 mol/L. So technically not entirely non-carbonated.

Quiche No, really. We all love quiche, even the 10-year-old picky eater.

Not that it ultimately matters, but I thought this was interesting. Las Vegas mayor says Athletics should not relocate despite plans: 'Figure out a way to stay in Oakland'

"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course." ~Hank Aaron

Country singer-songwriter Toby Keith has died after battling stomach cancer

I feel like the ability to drop minor sports is going to be severely limited by Title IX, but I could be mistaken. It will be interesting to see how this plays out at a private FCS university. If it works, how long until other private schools pick it up? Notre Dame? Vanderbilt? USC? And if it happens at USC, how long until UCLA finds a way to follow suit? I don't know that I'm ready to proclaim this a Pandora moment just yet, but in the NIL world, who knows?

My favorite version of this particular scam: Kid: "What are you eating? Is it pie?" Me: "No, it's a fruit casserole." Kid: "Ugh. I hate casserole!" Me (to myself): "I know."

Zip drives New Topic: Things That Makes You Smile

Q: What can you tell me about Brockian Ultra-Cricket? A: Avocadoes are not an appropriate substitution for limes in this context.

Wimps (unless they're getting a boot to the head)

Displacer Beast plushie >> Flerkin plushie

Why did the chicken go to the gym? To work on his pecks.

Tickle Me Elmo

There was an ancient musical instrument called the Egyptian horn, but almost nobody alive today has ever seen or heard one. It's a toot uncommon.

February 4th 1983: Karen Carpenter died from complications related to anorexia nervosa. I wish that she had been able to get the help that she needed. She was only 32 years old. She had such an amazing voice. Imagine how much more of The Carpenters' music we could have had if she had lived another 20 or 30 years.

Me: "Dude, I'm bored. Text me some good jokes." Him: "Not now. I'm busy with my girlfriend." Me: "Awesome! Send me some more!"

Moonies, maniacs, Marmite eaters, male models, masochists, Mass murders and masseurs

Jingles for payday loan companies and personal injury law firms

Elon

Is the NCAA about to get the FA,FO they've been dancing around? SEC, Big Ten 'advisory group' stands as coded threat to NCAA: Figure it out, or we'll go off ourselves

"I love you. You're my Valentine." "For now. But what about when I'm eighty and I'm in a wheelchair on oxygen? You still going to want me?" "Do you think I'm so shallow that I'm going to leave you when you're old? What if I gained a hundred pounds? You going to leave me then?" [beat] "No!" "What's with the pause?" "Well, it's not exactly fair. I mean, I have to get old. You don't have to get fat." "If I want to get fat, I get fat." "Okay, fine. And if you do, I'll be there. You'll see." "Yeah, watch me! Watch me how I get fat! [beat] I can get fat." "And I'll be there."