Pariah

Statistically speaking, it was bound to happen eventually. Don't blame me. Blame the math.

It's given via interpretive dance.

He just doesn't want to have to play Texas and Oklahoma every year. Nick Saban retires: Seven-time national championship-winning coach, 72, exits Alabama after 17 seasons

I wish I knew what to say. I'm so sorry. That seems woefully inadequate, I know.

I still have my Zip drive and 3 disks ... and no computer with parallel ports to attach it to.

I did not see this coming. Pete Carroll out as Seahawks head coach after 14 seasons, will remain with organization in adviser role

Q: So, are we getting married or what? A: I love the stuff, even though I know it's going to kill me.

How about this: Anyone remember Zip drives? I had a Zip 100 parallel port drive. And I worked in one of Iomega's call centers for a year back in the day.

To the guy who thought it was a good idea to tailgate me during a snow squall, I say this: Go to Hell. Go directly to Hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

Somebody made this in celebration of all three Lake Erie teams making it to the playoffs in the same year. It's never happened before.

"Blessed are the curious, for they shall have wonderful adventures."

X-ray vision, blocked by clothing

Sound and fury, signifying nothing. But more entertaining to think about than the $24M the team will be over the salary cap next year. Rumors swirl about Broncos' new uniforms Not bad. I'd prefer blue helmets, as there's already a team in the division with white helmets (and they suck). I presume they'd pair this jersey with white pants. I have ~0% confidence that this is what the team will ultimately unveil, but it's an interesting look.

So ... no more teams with purple in the finals, then?

Velociraptor whisperer

Snorkel spelunking

Why, Michigan, why must you wear navy pants in the biggest game of the year? Your signature look is maize and blue. The mono-navy look makes you look like an FCS team. Washington's white over white with gold helmets isn't bad, especially since the pants are striped. But I would have preferred either purple or gold pants. They didn't ask me, of course. They never do.

"Wilson, you're out. DiNucci, you're in. Make us proud, son." QB Ben DiNucci to Sign Futures Deal with Broncos

Q: Who wants to live forever? A: I want it all, and I want it now.

Kissing one's own backside

Despite the Russell Wilson debacle and the general disappointing state of the team, the Broncos are expected to bring GM George Paton back for 2024. What a joke.

Flatulence-powered Flight

Detect Sarcasm