Pariah

I made a chicken salad yesterday. It turns out they prefer grain.

CJ Stroud went from losing the Coach Harbaugh in college to losing to Coach Harbaugh in the NFL.

Yeah, I owned a car like that in college.

The late, great Aaron Allston

Working with cattle will bring that out in most folks.

Cue conspiracy theorist nutjobs complaining on social media about how the NFL scripted San Francisco's comeback win in three ... two ... one ... I feel like Niners - Packers could become a great rivalry in the coming years, something like Chiefs - Bills in the AFC.

I saw a graphic the other day pointing out that seven of the eight starting quarterbacks this weekend were drafted in the first round. And then there's Brock Purdy.

Taking a calculated risk works better if you don't suck at math.

What's the difference between a xylophone and a glockenspiel?

It's more complicated than that. Time sold Sports illustrated to another media outfit several years ago, who recently sold it to an outfit that is not a media company. That outfit has been trying to leverage The Sports illustrated name into lifestyle branding, e.g., resorts, etc. they fired about half their employees 3 years ago or so, and have recently been hit with a scandal about many of their articles being written by artificial intelligence. At this point it looks like the new owners are ready to just burn it down and start over, or maybe just let it die.

Don't look now, but it appears that the Raiders may have done something not entirely boneheaded. Raiders hiring Antonio Pierce as full-time head coach; went 5-4 after replacing Josh McDaniels Good for them. The dude has definitely earned it.

Report: Entire Sports Illustrated Staff Has Been Laid Off

Him: "Does your wife still roll her eyes at your Star Trek jokes?" Me: "No, they don't phaser anymore."

I saw a production of "The Abduction of Figaro" my first year in college. It was, as you say, brilliant.

RIP Peter Schickele ‘PDQ Bach’ musical satirist has died His musical comedy was remarkable in that the more you know about classical music, the funnier it is. I will miss him.

There's no point in being pessimistic. It won't change anything anyway.

Her: "I think White Wedding is his best song." Him: "I actually prefer Rebel Yell." Me: "That's enough Idol chit-chat from you two."

"I still don't know what 'transformation' means, but I feel like this forest has changed us all."

I'm a minute and a half in, and I have to take a break. "We are not astrology majors." It stings us, precioussss.

A long, long time ago In a galaxy far away Naboo was under an attack And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn Could talk the federation in To maybe cutting them a little slack But their response, it didn't thrill us They locked the doors and tried to kill us We escaped from that gas Then met Jar-Jar and Boss Nass We took a bongo from the scene And we went to Theed to see the Queen We all wound up on Tatooine That's where we found this boy Oh my, my this here Anakin guy Maybe Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi Did you know this junkyard slave Isn't even old enough to shave But he can use the Force, they say Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen Though he's just nine and she's 14 Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday Well, I know he built C-3PO And I've heard how fast his pod can go And we were broke, it's true So we made a wager or two He was a pre-pubescent flyin' ace And the minute Jabba started off that race Well, I knew who would win first place Oh yes, it was our boy We started singin' My, my this here Anakin guy Maybe Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi Now we finally got to Coruscant The Jedi Council we knew would want To see how good the boy could be So we took him there and we told the tale How his midichlorians were off the scale And he might fulfill that prophecy Oh, the Council was impressed, of course Could he bring balance, to the Force? They interviewed the kid All training they forbid Because Yoda sensed in him much fear And Qui-Gon said, "Now listen here" Just stick it in your pointy ear I still will teach this boy He was singin' My, my this here Anakin guy Maybe Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi We caught a ride back to Naboo 'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to I frankly would've liked to stay We all fought in that epic war And it wasn't long at all before Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day And in the end some Gunguns died Some ships blew up and some pilots fried A lot of folks were croakin' The battle droids were broken And the Jedi I admire most Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast Well, I'm still here, and he's a ghost I guess I'll train this boy And I was singin' My, my this here Anakin guy Maybe Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi We were singin' My, my this here Anakin guy Maybe Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

You're sliding down a dream, o yea Where nights are born in blue, that's the truth You're swimming in a stream, o yea Fish are jumping too, next to you Suddenly you notice someone's at the door You could swear you've been through this all before Then she runs her fingertips through your hair Your life has just begun Her fingers, they are everywhere You're floating light like air Leaving the ground And she shines on just like the sun You're gazing at the sky, o my The stars are out tonight, shining bright You're waving to a cloud, bye-bye You're drowning in the smile of his eyes Suddenly you feel there's no time for a deal Though a voice tells you it's for real And she runs her fingertips through your hair And life has just begun Her fingers, there and everywhere You're floating light like air Leaving the ground She shines on just like the sun It's just a sunny afternoon Somebody's singing songs of love, child You love a lazy afternoon once in a while Once in a while Then she runs her fingertips through your hair Your life has just begun Her fingers, they are everywhere You're floating light like air Leaving the ground and she shines on just like the sun

I see you comb your hair, and gimme that grin It's making me spin now, spinning within Before I melt like snow, I say hello How do you do? I love the way you undress now, baby begin Do your caress, honey, my heart's in a mess I love your blue eyed voice, like Tiny Tim shines thru How do you do? Well, here we are crackin' jokes in the corner of our mouths And I feel like I'm laughing in a dream If I was young I could wait outside your school 'Cause your face is like the cover of a magazine How do you do (do you do) the things that you do? No one I know could ever keep up with you How do you do? Did it ever make sense to you to say bye? (Bye bye) I see you in that chair with perfect skin Well, how have you been, baby, livin' in sin? Hey, I gotta know, did you say hello? How do you do? Well, here we are spending time in the louder part of town And it feels like everything's surreal When I get old I will wait outside your house 'Cause your hands have got the power meant to heal How do you do (do you do) the things that you do? No one I know could ever keep up with you How do you do? Did it ever make sense to you to say bye? (Bye bye) Well, here we are, crackin' jokes How do you do? Well, here we are spending time How do you do (do you do) the things that you do? No one I know could ever keep up with you How do you do? Did it ever make sense to you to cry bye? (Bye bye) How do you do (do you do) the things that you do? No one I know could ever keep up with you How do you do? Did it ever make sense to you to say bye? (Bye bye) Yeah, how do you do (do you do) the things you do? No one I know could ever keep up with you How do you do? Did it ever make sense to you to say bye? (Bye bye)

Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine, I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine. A million tomorrows shall all pass away Ere I forget all the joy that is mine Today I’ll be a dandy and I’ll be a rover You’ll know who I am by the songs that I sing I’ll feast at your table, I’ll sleep in your clover Who cares what tomorrow shall bring? Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine, I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine. A million tomorrows shall all pass away Ere I forget all the joy that is mine Today I can’t be contented with yesterday’s glory I can’t live on promises winter to spring Today is my moment, now is my story I’ll laugh and I’ll cry and I’ll sing Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine, I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine. A million tomorrows shall all pass away Ere I forget all the joy that is mine Today