Pariah

Where does one enlist? Asking for a friend.

I'm quite certain I have no idea what you're talking about.

Show us the merchandise or you'll lose another head, Jeebs.

Gratuity

'Fword' or 'Fnord'?

And I've drafted all three of them. That's hilarious.

Water

Tuba

I usually just use [REDACTED], with a nod to Heinlein and other writers of that generation.

Playing room monitor while someone else administers the ASVAB is not as exciting as, say, watching bread dough rise. But at least I got those labs graded!

Q: You want me to ship the President and Killer Frost together? A: Look at how prettily that bridge burns!

Ahem.... Short answer: Self-policing. (And seriously, how many fans of Motörhead could there be out there, anyway?)

Q: So, you and the Duchess of Eastern Slobovia have a complicated history, no? A: Penguin and Sheepdog.

Pentagon

Or maybe just foreshadowed.

Being in the same room with it was a little disconcerting, Victor thought. He knew there was no reason for him to be concerned. This being had saved the world a dozen times over, often sacrificing its own physical form in the process. Still, there was something...menacing, almost, about it. Victor began to understand the battle Magneto had fought all his life. Everyone, it seemed, was frightened of that which was different. It didn't seem to notice Victor's misgivings, however...or if it did, it wasn't concerned by them "Of course I will help you," it said in its emotionless monotone voice. "My programming mandates that I protect life." "Does that include the lives of the invaders?" "Yes. I will not destroy them. Destruction is not my purpose. Protection is my purpose." "Will you protect the Invaders from us? Will you prevent us from destroying them, if we decide it is necessary to protect our world?" It hesitated to answer for almost a full second. That must seem like an eternity to it, Victor thought. But the response was clear. "I am programmed to protect the people of Earth. If it is necessary for you to destroy the Invaders, I will not stop you. But I will not destroy them for you." "I wouldn't ask you to. Thank you." Protagonist: Mechanon

Celebration

Q: What can you tell me about Spoo? A: Not as much fun as, say, being dipped naked in a tank of liquid helium.

Arrive

Q: Honey, why would you want to make out with William Shatner? A: Half as much money, twice as many oatmeal raisin cookies.

Full beer cans are probably not ideal either.

Spam and eggs. With cheddar and salsa. Wrapped in a tortilla. It's the perfect redneck breakfast. Speaking of Which: Ron White vs. Larry the Cable Guy

Arthritis

Small pieces of talc?

True, the best thing about the Bears' Super Bowl win in the 80s was that it didn't come at the Broncos' expense.