Pariah

My favorite is the bronze rat joke.

Have you seen their lawyers? They will sue despite common sense.

From a friend who's working on her PhD (and subsequently teaching some freshman-level classes):
 
Student: "Would you be worried about taking this midterm?"
 
My Friend: "Not at all. I'm the one writing it."

...and the major of people who don't have the math to become accountants.

Hail Hydra. By solid angle coverage on the sky, it's the largest of the 88 modern constellations.

Yeah, only PE teachers give exams they can't pass.

OT: Give 'em this one and have 'em guess what's what.

Hydrogen spectrum
Not a full rainbow. Why not?
Tell us, Mister Bohr.

She swore she recognized me from the vegan club meetings, but I told her I'd never met herbivore.

I bought my COM up to 8! Then stupid Steve Long...

Can't be much, I didn't seem to get any good stats or cool powers out of it.

The Fabulous Five vs Doctor Doom.
 
"As if Richards and his little family weren't enough, you had to go an one-up him."

That seems a little optimistic at this point. 

Q: Why is Joe such a blasted heathen?
 
A: "I Dig A Pygmy" by Charles Hawtrey and the Deaf Aids. Phase One, in which Doris gets her oats!

Precisely, because for this kind of thing my imagination, used in the direct whole-cloth way like those of other people I've seen do this, produces things that are overly simplistic and dully predictable. Pantheons cooked up by gamers don't resemble real pantheons for the same reasons gamers create dungeons populated by monsters which cannot possibly live in those dungeons for more than a few days, and yet they assert that said dungeons are "ancient" and "eternally threatening", or game-world maps which make utterly no sense in terms of real geophysics or population dynamics, and are in the artificial condition of being at a point where things must collapse ... must have collapsed long ago ... when players manifest in it.

You see an identical product marketed as "Electric Mole Killers" for use in your lawn.

I have yet to meet a beer I liked.
 
I would comment about sticking to rum and vodka, but I quit drinking 9+ years ago.
 
Holy heck! I almost qualify for a 10 year chit at AA!

If it's anything like my college, they were probably already a few Coronas in.

There was the time when I happened to discussing the geology of Venus in class on the 5th of May. Venus has some not-fully-understood features called coronas. I realized what was happening (and this too was completely unplanned), and I stopped in mid-sentence, looked up into the large lecture room, and said, "Somehow it seems appropriate to be discussing Coronas on Cinco de Mayo," and then continued with the lecture. There was no reaction from the students, and while I can think of a number of reasons why there might not be, I was surprised that I got nothing out of a room with 300 people in it. Oh well.

I had to go home on my lunch break today to take the car back to Lady Pariah (long story). I got back just after the 3rd period bell rang, so I found my whole class outside my door waiting for me. I let them in and once they got settled, I told them this:
 
"I apologize for keeping you waiting today. I was unavoidably detained. I can't go into detail, but if you hear anything on the news about North Korea, I had nothing to do with that."
 
I got a few grins. And a lot of blank stares, sadly.

Me: The current model of the atom is called the quantum mechanical model. It doesn't have anyone's name on it, because no one person came up with it. A lot of people worked on it. Bohr gave us the basic idea, but others contributed to it: Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrodinger, Albert Einstein....
 
Student: Did Schrodinger's cat contribute to it?
 
Me: Well, yes and no.

I'm a fan of ε Eridani as well, but it's mostly because of that space station.

For a fee. And I am cheap.
 
If there's something I really want to watch, I'll find a bar with it and eat and drink there.

Me: The current model of the atom is called the quantum mechanical model. It doesn't have anyone's name on it, because no one person came up with it. A lot of people worked on it. Bohr gave us the basic idea, but others contributed to it: Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrodinger, Albert Einstein....
 
Student: Did Schrodinger's cat contribute to it?
 
Me: Well, yes and no.

It's the same day you're giving up smoking, heroin, and sniffing glue.