Pariah

Which leads to this:
 

 
 
Had a friend in school with Asperger's. He was not an easy person to get along with. Even after we got to college (and he got there a year before I did when he was a year behind me in High School as he dropped out and maxed his ACT) he managed to completely alienate everyone one of our social group. When someone asked how I could stand being his friend, I looked them in the eye and said "If he was intentionally being a dick to everyone then I'd be the first person in line to kick his ass. But he's got issues. Hell, his issues have issues. I've known Kyle for four years. And yes, he can be an annoying little prick. But I know what his home life is like and that he has a condition. And since I actually know who Kyle is and why he is the way he is, I'll still call him my friend even if everyone else in the world hates him."
 
And to this day, as much as the little shit would probably still annoy me, I would call him my friend even though I lost contact with him after he left to join the army when he turned 18 and my poor choices landed me in prison.

Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr, and Dean Martin were walking along the beach when they saw a strange creature that had been washed ashore. Frank took a closer look and said, "What do you think, boys? Some weird kind of fish?"
 
Sammy took a closer look and said, "That's no fish. It doesn't have any fins. It's got to be a snake of some kind."
 
Dean took a closer look and said, "That, my friends, is neither a snake nor a fish. That's a moray."

The Evil Captain Lensflare...

George Lucas, for making Star Wars I-III.

Q - What's long, brown, and sticky?
 
 
 

Q - What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a kitchen in Paris?
 
 

Re: Jokes
 
RETIRED/BORED HUSBAND
 
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
 
Dear Mrs. Harris:
 
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
 
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
 
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
 
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
 
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.” This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
 
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
 
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
 
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
 
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?” EMTs were called.
 
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
 
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
 
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible' theme.
 
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.
 
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
 
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!”
 
15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
 
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.” One of the clerks passed out.

Re: Jokes
 
As a Catholic I have reported the person above to the Office of the Inquisition. No-one was expecting that.

Who is Greek goddess of hunting poultry?
 
 
 

They all glow in the dark and they have any combination of the following: nausea, vomiting, water weight gain, lower back pain, receding hairline, eczema, reportorial psoriasis, itching, chafing clothing, liver spots, blood clots, ringworm, excessive body odor, uneven tire wear, pyorrhea, gonorrhea, diarrhea, halitosis, scoliosis, loss of bladder control, hammertoe, the shanks, low sperm count, warped floors, cluttered drawers, hunchback, heart attack, low resale value on your home... feline leukemia, athlete's foot, head lice, clubfoot, MS, MD, VD, fleas, anxiety, sleeplessness, drowsiness, poor gas mileage, tooth decay, parvo, warts, unibrow, lazy eye, fruit flies, chest pains, clogged drains, hemorrhoids, dry heaving and sexual dysfunction.

That's the magic of science.

I feel that the more one knows about the Universe, the more fully one can appreciate how amazingly beautiful and complex it is.

I wonder if space trout would be Pisces, Piscis Austrinus, Volans, Cetus, or Dorado.

Obviously steel drum bands are not counted as metal, even though steel is a good metal. If they were so counted, the Caribbean would be so red the rest of the Western Hemisphere rould catch fire and burn.

Rocks fall, everybody dies. Including the rich people who have the people warning about falling rocks ostracized and hounded into abject poverty. In 65 million years, another sentient species gets another crack at it.

There is a support group for that. It's called Everyone and they meet at the bar.

I went up to Multnomah Falls with my dad for a little photo excursion, and I thought this turned out fun.  I took 3 pictures of the same rock.  Then I took one Red, Green, or Blue channel from each and combined. Since the rock was exposed the same way each time, it turned out normally exposed, but the waterfall went wacky.  An old trick, but still fun.
 
 
 
 

J.J. Thomson was partial to plum pudding.

I don't know if you've heard this cover by Santana:
 

"Step Beyond" from the new Yes album, Heaven & Earth.

An original tune called "Stalking Miss Gillian" 

"Be a hero. Be a villain. Just don't be a minion." ~Miss Match

Are we left-handed?

Who in their right mind actually cares about celebrity marriages!?