BoloOfEarth

Sometimes I think the Republican Party should make "Cruelty is the Point" their motto.

Sometimes I think the Republican Party should make "Cruelty is the Point" their motto.

I'm guessing the army, because, Colonel.

A doctor is examining three old men for signs of senility. He asks the first one, "What is three times three?"
 
The first old man says, "A hundred and fifty-six."
 
The doctor asks the second old man, "What is three times three?"
 
The second old man says, "Tuesday."
 
The doctor asks the third old man "What is three times three?"
 
The third old man says, "Nine."
 
The doctor says, "That's right. How did you come up with that answer?"
 
The third old man says, "Easy. I just subtracted Tuesday from a hundred and fifty-six."
 

I don't think Florida is a joke to the rest of America.  I think, as a joke, the state of Florida has international potential.
 
I think that, when presented with an American doing something idiotic abroad, the person in that country might ask, "You're from Florida, aren't you?"

That reminded me of a juggler/comedian I saw once (I think on Saturday Night Live).  He was juggling an axe, a machete, and a cleaver.  When he held up the axe, he said, "This is actually the axe George Washington used to chop down the cherry tree.  I've just had to replace the handle... and the blade..."

That reminded me of a juggler/comedian I saw once (I think on Saturday Night Live).  He was juggling an axe, a machete, and a cleaver.  When he held up the axe, he said, "This is actually the axe George Washington used to chop down the cherry tree.  I've just had to replace the handle... and the blade..."

You're killing me.  You lost half the joke.
 

Penguins

Only semi-related, but let me tell you about a race I ran in high school track.  True story.
 
I was running the mile relay, in the second position for our team, because I really wasn't all that good.  For those not familiar with the mile relay, the starting runners run once around the track each holding a baton.  When they get all the way around, they pass their batons to the next runners on their teams, who then run around the track to pass the batons to the third runners, who run around the track to pass the batons to the last runners, who make the final lap around the track. 
 
So after the first set of runners start out, I take my position and wait for my teammate to come back around and pass me our baton.  As they're coming up, I can see that our team's runner is just barely ahead of the other team's runner.  So as soon as I grab the baton, I take off at my fastest.  And I can hear the "crunch, crunch, crunch" of footsteps right behind me.  So I push harder, but dang it, I can hear he's still right there, on my tail.  I keep pushing myself faster than I'd ever run before, with that "crunch, crunch, crunch" of footsteps right behind me all the way.  I get back around, pass my baton to the next runner on our team, and stumble off the track, too wiped out to even watch the rest of the race.
 
Our coach comes up to me, puts his arm around my shoulders, and says, "That was incredible!  That's the fastest I've ever seen you run!"  He chuckles.  "Too bad you didn't need to run that hard."
 
Apparently, when the other team went to pass the baton, they dropped it.  By the time their runner picked it up and started running, he was waaaay behind me.
 
I was hearing my own footsteps and was trying to outrun... myself.

Only semi-related, but let me tell you about a race I ran in high school track.  True story.
 
I was running the mile relay, in the second position for our team, because I really wasn't all that good.  For those not familiar with the mile relay, the starting runners run once around the track each holding a baton.  When they get all the way around, they pass their batons to the next runners on their teams, who then run around the track to pass the batons to the third runners, who run around the track to pass the batons to the last runners, who make the final lap around the track. 
 
So after the first set of runners start out, I take my position and wait for my teammate to come back around and pass me our baton.  As they're coming up, I can see that our team's runner is just barely ahead of the other team's runner.  So as soon as I grab the baton, I take off at my fastest.  And I can hear the "crunch, crunch, crunch" of footsteps right behind me.  So I push harder, but dang it, I can hear he's still right there, on my tail.  I keep pushing myself faster than I'd ever run before, with that "crunch, crunch, crunch" of footsteps right behind me all the way.  I get back around, pass my baton to the next runner on our team, and stumble off the track, too wiped out to even watch the rest of the race.
 
Our coach comes up to me, puts his arm around my shoulders, and says, "That was incredible!  That's the fastest I've ever seen you run!"  He chuckles.  "Too bad you didn't need to run that hard."
 
Apparently, when the other team went to pass the baton, they dropped it.  By the time their runner picked it up and started running, he was waaaay behind me.
 
I was hearing my own footsteps and was trying to outrun... myself.

I dunno, you might have trouble getting the horn down.

Only semi-related, but let me tell you about a race I ran in high school track.  True story.
 
I was running the mile relay, in the second position for our team, because I really wasn't all that good.  For those not familiar with the mile relay, the starting runners run once around the track each holding a baton.  When they get all the way around, they pass their batons to the next runners on their teams, who then run around the track to pass the batons to the third runners, who run around the track to pass the batons to the last runners, who make the final lap around the track. 
 
So after the first set of runners start out, I take my position and wait for my teammate to come back around and pass me our baton.  As they're coming up, I can see that our team's runner is just barely ahead of the other team's runner.  So as soon as I grab the baton, I take off at my fastest.  And I can hear the "crunch, crunch, crunch" of footsteps right behind me.  So I push harder, but dang it, I can hear he's still right there, on my tail.  I keep pushing myself faster than I'd ever run before, with that "crunch, crunch, crunch" of footsteps right behind me all the way.  I get back around, pass my baton to the next runner on our team, and stumble off the track, too wiped out to even watch the rest of the race.
 
Our coach comes up to me, puts his arm around my shoulders, and says, "That was incredible!  That's the fastest I've ever seen you run!"  He chuckles.  "Too bad you didn't need to run that hard."
 
Apparently, when the other team went to pass the baton, they dropped it.  By the time their runner picked it up and started running, he was waaaay behind me.
 
I was hearing my own footsteps and was trying to outrun... myself.

I dunno, you might have trouble getting the horn down.

Firewing's obsession with great victories in honorable combat is really just an excuse to have a big super battle. There's no need to rationalize why a battle would break out, Firewing just showing up probably means one will.
 
For my own use of Firewing, I gradually transitioned him toward the motivation of the Firewing from the year 3000 written up in Galactic Champions: to reignite the passion and ambition that once burned in the Malvan race, and lead them to again become the dominant power in the galaxy. PCs encountering Firewing along that path can be drawn after him out to the stars, and become enmeshed in determining the fate of worlds.

I've long told new parents that an ounce of distraction is worth a pound of cure.

Regarding villain secret IDs and capture, in past campaigns I've had some high-tech supervillains start a support company to manufacture near-perfect fake IDs (complete with hacked-in info inserted into official databases), "cleansing" the villain's actual fingerprints / other identifying info, etc.  All as justification for villains buying Deep Cover, plus it gives the heroes something to investigate.

For SHIELD, I had to appreciate what they did in the pilot for Agents of SHIELD:
 

 

For SHIELD, I had to appreciate what they did in the pilot for Agents of SHIELD:
 

 

Regarding hero secret IDs and sanctioning by the government, I've used Bob Greenwade's Oregon Hero Sanction before to good effect.  

If Medieval art treasures are involved, the heroes might consult the art appraiser Jos Terhune, a.k.a. Tartarus of the Devil's Advocates (CV2). Or hey, bring Walker, Terhune, and Professor John Black together, none knowing who the others are! That should be good for a few laughs, as well as a brawl.
 
Dean Shomshak