Gnaskar

Re: "Your Most Embarassing Game Mastering Moment" I've actually been fairly lucky on the Embarrassing Mistakes as a GM. Or I've never attempted anything as advanced as some of the things mentioned here. My most embarrassing moment is actually embarrassing mostly because it made everyone in the room greatly uncomfortable. Some basic background: I live in Norway, and more specifically, the city in Norway where the army made it's last real stand against the Nazis. Mostly because there isn't that much further north to protect (and there was even less back then). Needless to say, the Nazis didn't take too kindly to this final act of defiance and the city still bares the scars from it. Which, of course, means that players thoroughly enjoy fixing the time line when they discover that the Nazis won World War 2. In fact, they liked it really much, and it's referred to as the best part of the campaign thus far. That wasn't the cause of my concern. The cause of my concern was that one of my players is a German student living in Norway. There's still some bad blood between Norway and Germany (on the Norway side, at least) and pulling it all into the light in front of young man who had had no part in it, and who's parents had had no part in it seemed to be in bad taste. As it happened, he took the whole thing in his stride and I needn't have bothered worrying about. (Ok, that's the second false start. I'll cut to the point.) In fact, his first comment when I described the two thousand Stormtroopers lined up in front of the White House was "Minions!" And it all went down hill from there. Granted, for his character (an American scientist with very lose morals) this was a sensible in character reply. Even so, having a player with a very real and obvious German accent fitting perfectly into a Nazi control USA, and setting himself up for a political career within the Nazi Party, while the other players were doing history research and stealing time machines meant that all the Norwegians present were shifting nervously in their seats, trying to decide whether they were overreacting or he was out of line. By the half time break several people were visibly shaking and the tension in the air could probably have been cut with a knife, with several players running from the room the moment the break was called. I wasn't doing too good myself, despite priding myself on being in control of my emotions. I wish I could say I consciously thought out a solution that would make the character eager to change the time line and give the other players a way to vent their emotions without acknowledging the elephant in the room, but I didn't. It just naturally came together due to his character's character traits, a random phrase on an NPC's character sheet (which the players latched onto and became more and more certain it held the solution to the plot the more I tried to make it clear it was a red herring) and the seeds to the meta-plot I had carefully planted. In sort he ended up blowing up Mexico while attempting to make hell freeze over. These days, the players remember it as when he blew up Mexico, rather than the other stuff, and his defensive cry that it was in an alternate time line falls on deaf ears. In fact its become the sort of stock conversation that happens about once a week. The players have a clear, in character season, for distrusting the character, and his blowing stuff up has become a running gag. All's well that ends well, but it will still be a long time before I'll GM Nazis in a room with both Germans and people from the lands formerly occupied by them. Which is a pity, because it rules out a trio of planned plots.

Re: What should I add to my equipment list? While not exactly equipment as such, a food and drinks section goes a long way to add immersion to a setting. From what kind of fast food joints pop up on the larger stations, to what rich people eat at fancy parties; it helps to have something to describe when the players decide to plan their next move over a hot meal (or a bowl of algaeslush, depending on their budgets).

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Wight. This has gone on far too long. This is a page for wighting quotes, not making puns. So here are a couple of gems from a planning session between our two GMs: GM: They'll sent the Hovership Ragnarok, or its evil twin. … GM: they're trying to be subtle. Hence the lasers. … GM: "What the F**k" is the capital of Huh?

Re: OMG Spy rays are real And vice versa (vice pun not intended). That kind of activity has never been exclusively male. Admittedly, its rarer for females to be the instigating party, but it does occur (A very stupidly placed air vent in my old school traditionally had a towel covering on either side, for this reason). EDIT: Not that I know this from any other experience than when it was my turn to donate the towel, of course.

Re: Cheap Supers I've done some thinking about a similar setting, though I used vastly different distributions. 90% useless or cosmetic, 9% useful but dependent on outside power source (ability to store and release heat, instinctive understanding of how to build a battle-suit, etc), 0.9% low powered,0.09% medium powered, 0.009% high powered, and the remaining 0.001% cosmically powerful "Alphas". In addition, it was only a third of a generation who got powers, so there's only about 200 Alphas running around. They still wrecked havoc, though. Now, to your world. It takes about 100$ to build the super serum presuming you have none of the needed stuff, correct? That's my monthly "fun" budget, and I'm living on a student loan, meaning just about the entire population of Norway (only counting those older than about 14) could scrape the funding together. However, there aren't that many people in Zimbabwe who could afford that, even if they saved up a whole year. I would expect a lot of third world looting as desperate citizens scramble for the ingredients before local war lords and governments lock all the stuff down. The Wild Card nature of the serum, that you have no clue what powers you'll get means there will be a massive turnover in leadership and massive worsening of conflicts in Africa (and South America, I suppose, but I'm no expert on how things work there). The gears shift from "the richest war lord wins" to "the war lord with the best power wins" and the number of warbands increases by an order of magnitude. I figure any form of government collapses from Nigeria to Zimbabwe coast to coast. Half of Africa becomes a battlefield. The sudden shift in power balance triggers every other brewing conflict as well, from Tibet, Burma/Myanmar to Northern Ireland and the Confederate States of America. Every fringe group and maniac now has access to a super weapon (assuming the group has over about 15 members they'll have a complete superteam at their disposal). As each group gains publicity through crime or insurrection others flock to them, polarizing the populations. I'd guess it would take about a year before some kind of order is restored. Presuming Oddhat's apocalyptic vision hasn't already come to pass, of course. After that, things can go one of two ways: Either we get an authoritarian rule where the most powerful supers make the rules, or there are enough powerful super democrats (meaning believers in democracy, rather than member of an American political party that represents 2% of the world) to give us a global democracy. Note that this isn't saying dystopia or utopia; most likely it will be something in between in either case.

Re: Convention Help Amen to that. Having just finished running one at a Con, I can say with confidence that the intricate attention to detail and background information required for a mystery is difficult to build up during a four hour game. On the other hand, don't make a combat fest either. The HERO system is fairly confusing to new players, and the combat rules is the meat of the system. On a more constructive note, here are a few ideas I considered to make HERO system easier for people who have never tried it: Make OCV a skill. Say just about every NPC in the scenario have the same DCV. Why not list the Players' chance to hit that DCV in the style of skills rather than a far more cryptic OCV score. The OCV thing is the single most confusing thing for new players trying HERO system (with normal Body making a close second place). So how do you include high DCV opponents in such a setup? Apply a penalty to the roll, either upfront or by asking them to tell you how much they succeed by. Same with bonuses against low DCV opponents. You'll have to keep track of such things as halved DCV and modifiers yourself, which is the main reason I don't do this. Merge PD and ED. Saves some time during combat, and leaves the players with one less number to remember. Stick to either all Killing Attacks or all Normal Damage attacks. Keeping track of which is which is a bit of a pain to new players, so not having to can shave vital minutes of those combat rounds. Write out any complex builds in simple language. Pretty self explanatory. For example: In the game I ran today I had a player with astral projection (a group of 5 related powers to model the effect: your consciousness goes out exploring). Questions about it took several minutes of the game time, and disrupted the game's pace during a chase scene. Stick to a limited pallett of powers. Blast doesn't take that much to understand. Mind Control, Transform, and AVAD attacks takes longer to make sense off. Again from today: Another character had all the typical mentalist powers; he only ever used Telepathy, Mind Control and Mind Link, and needed a careful explanation of how each one works. With a limited variation in power mechanics, players can learn from each other's questions, and better yet, help each other understand, giving you free time to do the story stuff. Have a finished SPEED Chart. A bit obvious, but worth mentioning (especially as I didn't). Don't stay awake for the last thirty hours before running the game, chugging coffee during it, so you find yourself giving halfway useful advice on an internet forum when you should be sleeping to get ready for the next game you're running. Good night.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Joined up with a Mage: the Awakening group. There weren't that many good quotes from the first session, but there were a couple. Our team biologist defends his sanity: Myrmidon: I'm not a mad scientist, I collect mad scientist. *pause* Insects. I mean insects. The cabal name "The Collectors" is proposed: Myrmidon: I collect living things, you collect dead things. Banshee (Necromancer): And I collect living dead things.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This week's session of the League of Champions had a lot of entertaining events, though very few entertaining quotes shorter than a whole conversation. There was one summery that stood out, however: GM: So, the core of your uncertainty is that you are unsure of who is the greatest threat: the sniper with an Anti-materiel rifle or the teenager with a sharpened stick?

I have a vigilante player with Telekinetic powers (and a thousand knives with him) who wants the following power: First he stabs the target with a knife. Next action he stabs the target with an other knife, while the original knife stabs again. His next phase he uses three knives. etc. etc. Up to his theoretical max of a thousand. He's built some limitations into it (he can't change target, must remain within melee range, etc). The problem is how to depict this in hero system. We've gone through several iterations, using everything from boostable charges to autofire and DoT, but we're having trouble finding a combat useful build. Anyone up to the challenge? Resistant defenses range from 5-15 (with an average target at 12) and there is a "soft" action points limit av 50 points.

Re: Naming the first superhero Depending on how close your campaign is to reality I think the media would name a flying brick Superman. Most people would get the reference, and it's the sort of nick name that would stick. If he got to name himself on the other hand: Invincible, Paladin, Guardian, Guardian of Justice, or Defender. Vanguard is cool, too, but Lord Liaden beat me to it. Or maybe he's use some nickname, in joke or military call sign. A more religious dude (or dudete; the first being a female brick would be an unusual touch) could go for Salvation, Templar, or something biblical (David, Goliath or Adam spring to mind).

Re: Force Field's, MMO Style A field that reduces the potency of attacks sounds exactly like Damage Negation to me. However, from your reference to the actual Force Field power I assume you're playing 5th edition, so that doesn't do you any good. Maybe Damage Reduction could serve to purpose? The temporary buffer thing is easier. The Ablative limitation on page 115 in FRED is a way of doing it (the -1 option being most appropriate), or you could buy up an amount of BODY and STUN with non-persistent and costs END. That would normally apply after your other defenses though, but a kind GM might ignore that specific rule in light of the special effects. Mind you, it wouldn't recover any after than normal STUN and BODY, which might be a problem. Another option is Succor (134 in FRED) which does much the same thing, except being more expensive and not having that recovery problem. Hope this helps.

Re: What are some things , in terms of storytelling/plot, that are "off limits" in yo In the one pure Dark Champions scenario I've run, there ended up being a near rape against a player character. I generally avoid sexual content completely (as I have a player who's uncomfortable about role playing such content), but in this case it turned out a tense and dramatic scene that had the players at the edge of their chairs. The player, a cute female hacker, had decided to scout out the bad guy's warehouse, in a rundown part of Moscow, on a Friday night. It should be stated that the player in question had a sniper covering her as well as a fully charged taser concealed in a pocket. Finding a group of drunk never-do-wells by the warehouse, who were obviously interested, and likely to "insist" if things went badly. After about half an hour of tense conversation, the player managed to get the Alpha Thug alone into the warehouse (which she had wanted to sneak into and explore in the first place), and tased him. Otherwise, I don't do anything the players aren't comfortable with. We're all here to have fun

Re: How do you use The Champions in your campaign? I had the Champions fall apart after Nighthawk faked his death in order to infiltrate VIPER. Defender is still rather bitter about that fact, actually. Defender and Witchcraft were important in bringing the players together into the League of Champions, which is a spiritual descendant of the Champions, expect with over 30 members*. Nighthawk is operating which Project Mongoose, a group that occasionally works with the, eh, less publicity minded characters. The other Champions have joined the League, or retired.

Re: The Sun Rises I'm probably going to end up using one of these two options. Not sure which yet.

In their latest attempt to prove me wrong when I said "HERO System can do anything", one of my players asked for the power to make dawn come. After a short discussion where everything from Telekinetic rotating the planet to Images was considered. I didn't have a lot of time took discuss it with him, however, as helping a dozen new players build their characters with only one copy of 6E1 and the basic rulebook takes some effort. In an attempt to make a rarely useful power not cost him an arm and a leg, I looked at the problem from a different angle. I stated up the night as a Change Environment (-4 to Normal Sight) with mega area. Then I told him to buy his Dawn power as a Dispel with enough dice to dispel it. My questions: Is this thinking too far outside the box? And is there an easier way we've overlooked?

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Quotes from our brave changeling's attempt to save Earth from a fate best described as "A Post-apocalyptic Victorian Mars as governed by Skynet's Big Brother the immortal unkillable iron-immune dangerously genre savvy fae Dragon also known as Magneto". After allowing (if not out right begging) him to take power in the first place. Some choice events from the first year of Dzarûmazh Rex's rule over Britain: April 28th: Form the blood of his subjects' first born children he forged his Iron Sword. July 2nd: The Breeding Factories are finished and powered up, optimizing the process of creating new citizens. August 1st: Art is over. With the creation of the portrait of the King the disciple of art, having thus fulfilled its original function, is concluded. August 12th: The Corpse Engines begin converting dead flesh into servile undead revenants, eager to rejoin the fray. Thus, Britain proves that it is yet again spearheading the implementation of recycling and renewable energy into a modern State. September 21th: The Burning Gates manage to rip open a gate to Faerie, creating an unprecedented beachhead into these lands. Tir na Nog falls within the week. October 22th: Another feeble and cowardly attack by the UN against our nation is repelled by our Majesty, the enemy's planes torn from our skies. February 15th: The first batch of soldiers to be produced from childhood until adolescence are sent through the Burning Gates to seize Cair Paravel. Not a single one falls against the armies of the Reborn Lion. March 27th: Through a spineless conspiracy to overthrow our great nation, the states of Israel, Iran, India and the USA jointly unleash their nuclear arsenals against Dzarûmaz. To quote our almighty Majesty in that moment of glory, "I am rubber, you are glue; bounce off me, and sticks to you." The quotes without context: GM: How do you handle obnoxious ravens? Suduce them! ... GM: Little known fact about ghosts, they're allergic to people. ... GM: According to Merlin. Who's insane. And dead... ... Tom: This is no time for improvisation! I try what didn't work last time. ... Malcom: Cyborg Tree! A mission to find and recruit Dracula is proposed: GM1: He'd come over in a heart beat. GM2: Or lack of one. Powers are free if certain conditions are met: Malcom: I get it for free if I scream... GM: That's what she said! Malcom: What? GM: I have no clue. The plan is to sneak in in the shell of a Laser Cow (don't ask): Malcom: A Trojan horse? Doom Digger: A Trojan Cow, surely. GM: A wolf in sheep's clothing. Doom Digger: A changeling in cow's clothing. We face the Worm-That-Walks, a horribly lethal opponent. Malcom is the only one who's seen him before: Doom Digger (As Laser Cow): Moo. Worm-That-Walks: What?... Doom Digger: Statement: Moo? Malcom (recognizing the voice): RUN!!! *Bursts head out from Laser Cow's midsection (he was the front legs) and runs for the hills, using his ogre strength to carry the rest of them with him.* ... Malcom: He's horribly dangerous. Tom: Does he burn? Malcom: Sure. Fire and lightning was how... we... Killed... him. Damn. We're infiltrating a facility, who, as it turns out, are doing horrible things to a young boy: Malcom (pretending to be a soldier): Reinforcements are inbound, there are rogue changelings in the area. *See's what they're doing* F*** Subtle. *Three seconds later all hostiles in the room are out cold*

Re: Anyone else want one of these? Add two 50lb gattling guns and about 200lbs of armor and reinforcement. Optionally add a jet pack. And a shoulder-mounted bazooka. Then I'd be happy to buy one. Also, it should in all fairness be mentioned that both the Matrix and Avatar has these in some form. And the original Starship Troopers (the book). So the idea is not new in any sense of the word. Just awesome.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The Changlling super-campaign is beginning to rap up, and the subtle hints that the Apocalypse is coming have stopped being subtle or even hints. In the plot I wasn't on they were investigating a cartoon where we were the main characters and the theme song: "we have four weeks left to save the world". We, on the other hand, were going fishing in Loch Ness. Two of our party, Ace and I, are slaves to an ancient evil (we died in the underworld while seeking the water of life) and were ordered to kill Nessi. The others were here seeking an expert on Magic who could help us stop the ritual the Summer Court started last summer. The players: Storyteller: Our Storyteller this week normally plays His Majesty Duke King Frostburn the Cruel, Lord of the Frozen Heart, ect. The king of the Winter Court. Lil: Or technically Queen Lil of Spring, but she refuses to be called that. A hippy succubus with healing magic. Malcom McGuire: Me. An uncharacteristically intelligent ogre. A walking stone statue in car mechanic gear. Also the best boxer in the campaign. Courtless after leaving Summer in disgust. Ace: A stereotypical dark gambler; compulsive kleptomaniac with a phobia against stealing things. Has the least Clarity (sanity) in the campaign. Autumn Court. Hornblower: A Spring Court musician who's addicted to living in fairytales and has the magic to make the world more fairytale like. Avoid saying things like "so far, so good" within earshot of him. First a quote that just sums up the plot: Lil: We're going to need a lot of spam delivered to Loch Ness regularly. And do we have anything growth inhibiting to spike it with? Some quotes that need (or at least have) no explanation: Hornblower: Knock, knock. Was there a doorbell? ... Malcom: I'm here because my toilet ordered me here. ... Malcom: (explaining) The Turtle with the Spear of Destiny was from the Moon. ... Storyteller: So your argument is: (Dramatically) You can't handle the Sheep! ... Storyteller: You feel up the sheep. We are not surprised. ... Storyteller: You are surrounded by carnivorous fish. What do you do? ... Storyteller: A poisoned Sombrero of Death as a gift to Nessi?! ... Storyteller: No Fish Left Behind. ... Hornblower: Nah. Take me to your fish. ... Lil: All roads lead to eating London. ... Storyteller: The fish is allowed to speak freely? ... Ace: I think we should go to the castle before the car is surrounded by fish. ... Lil: Nessincest ... Hornblower: Spam the lake! On Ace's approach to social gambling: Lil: If you can't join them, beat them. We need information: Old Bar Client: The first thing to go is the memory, you know... And petty cash the second. The old bar client begins hitting on Lil: Malcom: *Sigh* See you in an hour? Lil: Sure. You go talk to Sam. ... Storyteller: His mates stare from him to you with a look of "we've seen him do that many times before, but it's never actually worked!" A plan forms: Hornblower: Wasn't the plan to sell them sheep? Storyteller: Did you bring any sheep? Malcom: We could dress Ace up as one. ... Lil: You must have this little Clarity to be a sheep. ... Storyteller: Baaaaah-d plan. Commenting on Ace's disguise/acting roll: Hornblower: You are such an awesome sheep. Comments regarding another plot: Storyteller: The quote: "We lost the Prince of Wales?" just says it all. Ace: We're Changlings. We lose everything important. Malcom: The Spear of Destiny. Excalibur. Lil: Hrunting. The king Sword of the North... Hornblower gets a phone call from Lancelot, a player currently on the other plot of the day, in the middle of the night: Lancelot: You are going to die! *hangs up* Hornblower: (to himself) right. No sleep for me tonight. (Lancelot's player refuses to explain the context that lead Lancelot to make such a call) Changlings have ways of getting information, even from captured and gagged fish: Storyteller: Most significant upcoming event the next six months? I'd say eating Big Ben. While spitting acid on the fleeing crowd. Well, the one's that aren't already on fire. London's burning. Hornblower: Why do I always look into the future? Malcom: What? Hornblower: It's going to eat Big Ben. Lil: Bad fish. Very bad fish. No haggis for you! We get close to insulting Nessi: Lil: No, no, you look very fertile. Nessi: So do you. I wish you luck when the time comes. Lil: Alas, like all Changlings, I am infertile. Nessi: Then how are you pregnant? Thinking back on her being crowned: Storyteller: There was a fertility ritual. You ate the fruit, drank the Water of Life and danced with the werewolves. You are thrice blessed with fertility. Malcom: And we all know what the number three does to magic. Hornblower: It makes it awesome. ... Lil: (Considering the obvious question of who the father is) Then (after the ritual) we had an orgy. Hornblower: With every member of the Spring Court. Malcom: And most of the other Changlings. Lil: And the werewolves. Storyteller: And a Vampire Delegation. Hornblower reads Lil's future: Hornblower: I am so going to regret this. Storyteller: You see Aberdeen (the campaign city), except it looks more like Mordor. On fire. You also see Lil giving birth to twins in a slimy evil cave. Lil: (seeing the look on Hornblower's face) What?! Hornblower: (still looking terrified) Congratulations, you're going to have twins. Our plan for dealing with Nessi's 666 carnivorous children: Hornblower: Healthy additives. Healthy for us. ... Lil: We're going to need a lot of spam delivered to Loch Ness regularly. And do we have anything growth inhibiting to spike it with?

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... It's time for the final quotes from The ULTICORP Champions, season one. It's December 21, 2012 and a ten thousand year old game between the forces of hell and heaven is about to come to it's final stage. Caught in the middle of it as one of the most important pieces are the ULTICORP Champions: Silverbolt: Lightning mage. Also a bit of a transmuter, being able to make food out of thing air, and change clothes as a half action. Fond of practical jokes. Starts this mission kidnapped by DEMON. Mentor: Silverbolt's mentor, a senile old wizard with a habit of talking to objects, made an appearance. Silverbolt's suspicion that he isn't as crazy as he seems has recently been confirmed, as he discovered that his mentor is in league with Mage-Turned-God Trismegistus. Ultisaur: Genetically modified Brick. ULTICORP's latest genetic super-soldier prototype. His spit is acidic and he's somewhat aggressive. Steamjack: Steam-powered Power-Armoured Brit. Enough said. Also, he's going slowly mad. Pinpoint: Asian Acupuncturist hero, and natrual enemy of the Triad. Speedster Cyborg after an incident involving the Triad and an experimental procedure. Andy: Snot Elemental controller. At 14, he is the team's youngest member, and a constant headache for ULTICORP's legal division (child labor laws being what they are). The first thing on my recording: Andy: Can we cut someone? Other random comments: Andy(OOC to GM): We've decided that you should be a double agent. … Silverbolt(OOC about GM): Him breeding, Oh dear gods! … GM: Right, shall we get started? We're only an hour late, that must be some kind of record. … GM: Silverbolt, no viewing your character sheet until you die. … Andy: do I have hiccups? …after the radioactive acid… … Steamjack: Uninstaller? I hardly know 'er! … GM (about Ultisaur, OOC): Do we have a sedative? … Andy: My mother stuffed me. Not like a turkey! … Andy: Do you have a loud, I'm mean small, vacuum cleaner? … Andy: How nice. I have two fingers for picking my nose, and two fingers for scratching mosquito bites. … Ultisaur: That zombie there is my newest improvised weapon. … Silverbolt: They are bound by chains of lightning. Chained lightning, get it? … GM: the rest of the agents act like agents normally do. Stormtrooper effect!!! … GM (looking at DEX chart): We're in Zombie Land. Good movie. … GM: Yeah, the cat attacks Christmas Trees. … GM (Eating a dried fish): Tastes like good quality paper. … Silverbolt: Good rolls are lethal, but take forever to calculate. … GM: Zombie rolls 18; zombie has head buried in sand here. Through pavement. … Steamjack: Must. Refrain. From. Calling. GM faggot. … Steamjack: I abort to name my first born. … Steamjack: I forgot I had an oscillating fist. … Steamjack: We're forcing the GM into pedophilia. … GM: Yes, there will be apocalypse Fallout. … GM: Do not make an attack roll with my cookies! … GM: I have a special knockback dice that… only works in 6th Edition. Right. … Andy: You have teeth of lead. … GM: Steam is hot. … GM: Have You ever tried to shovel dung into a fourteen year old's mouth? … Silverbolt: You just circumcised a demon. Who now has open wounds. In a storm of crap. … Steamjack: I gather my fist, punch strait through the fourth wall, and steal his thoughts. … Andy: We should all fail collage so we can continue this campaign. … Silverbolt: you're flying the Iron Storm, and you're worrying about hitting things?! … Pinpoint: I aim at this horny guy. Er, this guy with horns. … GM: your train now vibrates to the tune of The Final Countdown. … Steamjack: We've lost a lot of crew to suicidal dives. Fortune Cookies: Silverbolt: What you dish out will come back to you… In bed. GM: Except in bed. Silverbolt: Humans invented language to satisfy the need to complain … in bed. … Silverbolt: be smart, be intelligent, and be informed … in bed. GM: Except in bed. Andy: Does it really say that?! … Silverbolt: Do what you wish as long as you harm no one … in bed. GM: ...Except in bed? The traditional family cooking is an acquired taste: Ultisaur: I hate to be rude, but you could kill someone with these cookies. Literally bludgeon them to death. ... Ultisaur: I have to hand it to you, a weapon that doubles as food isn't easy to pull off. … Silverbolt: Why are you eating the hockey pucks? GM: They're edible. Silverbolt: That's debatable. … Andy: Tests of manhood; In some countries they put ants on their skin. In Norway, we eat cookies. The recap and events since last session: (current date in campaign world dec 21, 2012) GM: Signs of the apocalypse have been surprisingly …missing. In fact, most of Silverbolt's clients have been suing the Mayans for fake prophesies. Silverbolt o O (the Apocalypse doesn't happen and they'll sue for it. Yep, I picked the right profession.) Ultisaur: Lawyers are like cockroaches. You could nuke 'em and they'd still survive to pee on you. Andy: And make money doing it. … GM: On the morning of the 21th, Silverbolt is missing. Ultisaur: The 21th? We have to save Christmas! (chanting) Keep him kidnapped! Keep him kidnapped! A short detour down memory lane: GM: The first thing you did was attack a DEMON held museum. And destroying a hundred priceless artifacts, nearly tearing the building in two, and destroying a dinosaur. Ultisaur: That was fun. Andy: And there was pancakes in the elevator. … GM: your second mission was preventing the second civil war by… Ultisaur: Beating the confederate army to hell and back. GM: Pretty much. Then you stole their flag ship train. … GM: Then you raided a VIPER lab, saving Wallace after he was scalyfied. Andy: Who's Wallace? GM: The guy you've asked that question about the most times. Lizard cop. … Andy: Oh, yeah. I remember Barney. Barney and us, good times. GM: You don't remember Barney either, do you? Silverbolt is missing, the trail ends outside a phone booth: GM: The Champions standing around outside a phone booth "Oh! It might like in Harry Potter..." "I should dig here." *lick lick* *poke* … GM: Yes, he can track him. The problem is, he walked out of the phone book and then the trail goes absolutely cold. *pause* Pinpoint: Why was he in a phone book? Silverbolt: I'm a listed lawyer… GM: Phone BOOTH. … Ultisaur: 10, that's a pass. GM: First of all, there's the unmistakable stench of dung outside the phone bush… Damn you, dyslexics. And the caffeine doesn't help. Ultisaur's special senses provide a vital clue to what happened here: Ultisaur: "Oi! I smell Morbane, pooh, and death. Possibly related." … Andy: I say why just morn him and move on. Silverbolt: I'm not dead! Andy: You pooped, you're dead. … GM: At this point thunder and lightning appears, and ash starts falling from the sky. Silverbolt: Wasn't me! GM: Yes it was. … Ultisaur: "I just lost a dollar to Wallace. I knew I shouldn't have bet against the Mayans." … Andy (about the Mobane): He wouldn't be alive if I could split molecules. Ultisaur: If you could split molecules the world would end. GM: Actually, delay the ash until he says that. Never argue with the GM: (this is the later part of a long argument) Ultisaur: He did get a tracking implant so you could communicate. GM: I've been through all the recordings, you never got implants! Pinpoint: Those were ear pieces. Ultisaur: Oh. Can we track those? GM: Yes. Roll. ULTICORP contacts. Pinpoint: That means no. (8- never works) … Pinpoint: Look, I found his ear piece. It was lying next to the booth. The players hurry toward the center of the storm: GM: You crash into a force field. Ultisaur: Dig under it. GM: Doesn't work. Ultisaur: Spit acid on it. GM: nope. Ultisaur: Ok, I'm out of ideas. … GM: At this point a truck arrives. Pinpoint: Ultisaur, throw the truck at the force field. GM: No. Cut scene. The truck does a donut, and stops right in front of you. Silverbolt (expecting his mentor to show up): And guess which old geezer walks out of it. GM: Well, an old geezer, escorted by no less than four VIPER heavies. (I love surprising my players) … VIPER Sergeant: "He insisted we bring him here. Said you'd be waiting for us." Ultisaur: "Ok, you can come with us. But if you turn on us, A: my scales are bullet proof, B: I will spit acid on you." Steamjack (eyeing the agent's weapons): "They don't use bullets." Ultisaur: "C: I WILL spit acid on you." Silverbolt (OOC): They're VIPER, they're probably prepared for that eventuality. … Ultisaur: Lets just ask the old freak to get us through the force field. GM: Silverbolt, you are now playing the old freak. His words. … Andy: Why is VIPER on our side? Have I missed something? GM: They hate DEMON, they've been fighting for years. Silverbolt: You can never have too many enemies. They eventually just get in each others way. The mentor knows where Silverbolt is, and it isn't inside the force field: Silverbolt (as mentor): Idiots who hang out with my apprentice. That way! Ultisaur: Call me an idiot again and I'll spit acid on you. Silverbolt: Irrelevant. That way. Meanwhile, Silverbolt is dead: Silverbolt (looking at the battlemap): Oh, good, you have it all set up. Wait… They crucified me? GM: They crucified you and drained you of blood. … GM: You are not in heaven, but in some kind of mud hut. An African mud hut with all the masks and drums and everything. (note: The room we're roleplaying in is covered with african masks and drums) Sitting across from you is a man in a gray business suit. Silverbolt: "I take it your business isn't going so well, either." Trismegistus: "My business is going perfectly well, thank you. My ten-thousand year old plan is just coming to conclusion." Silverbolt: "Oh, right, you're that guy. Quick question: Is it your fault that I'm dead?" Trismegistus: " Sort of. I wrote the prophesy that made them kill you." Silverbolt(sarcastic): "Thank you so very, very much" Trismegistus: "Don't worry. As long as your senile mentor and your teammates don't mess up, you'll be back in a jiffy. " Silverbolt: "Why not just destroy the world now and get it over with." Trismegistus: "In my defense, I couldn't modify the Prophesy too much, or they wouldn't attempt this thing and the world would end anyway. I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place." Silverbolt: "Ok then. One last question: Got any popcorn?" Trismegistus: *pomth* (casts Silverbolt's signature food summoning spell) … GM: It's a random dimension. He tore it out from the time-space continuum around ancient Mesopotamia, for fun. Silverbolt: Something taken completely out of context, then. Steamjack: What happens when you remove matter from a point in the time stream? GM: He replaced the lost matter with food, thus avoiding any side effects. Combat begins: Silverbolt: I don't have this guy's character sheet, so just tell me when I'm up. GM: No worries, you have the exact same DEX as Silverbolt. Silverbolt: Oh great, tied with Steamjack again. Just lower his DEX for being senile, please? Steamjack: I'm not senile. Oh, wait. … Ultisaur: Where's the closest enemy, I need to kill someone. Silverbolt: "Oh, that's giving me a lot of confidence. (to Trismegistus) That's the idiot who kills everyone." … Silverbolt (playing the mentor with a cosmic power pool): Why do you let me do these things? GM: 'cause its an 11- activation roll, and I get to decide the side effects if it fails. Silverbolt: worth it. So very, very worth it. … GM: stop sign powers should not be used in a power pool, except in very special circumcises. Which boils down to "when it's funny". … Steamjack: Zombies, though. I can use my chainsaw. GM: Appropriate tools for the job is a +1 OCV bonus. Discussing the power level of the mentor: Pinpoint: Senile magician, that's a scary thought. GM: Yeah. At the peek of him power, he could probably have killed everyone in this room. And you're outdoors. Another dice is dropped on the floor: Andy: there's a black hole under the table. GM: Does it contain anything dangerous? Steamjack: It's a black hole! It contains a lot of … dense. Many, many dense. Andy: Dense dice. Steamjack: It's a cubic singularity that could be used as a dice in a pinch, though that's probably not a good idea. The player's have each gotten a damage upgrade from various sources: Silverbolt: Roll the chainsaw damage. 3d6+1 AP. Steamjack: It's not armor piercing. GM: It is now. Silverbolt: Don't argue with the GM. GM (doing points calculations): Actually, wait. Andy: Roll! Roll! GM: Nope, still 3d6+1 AP. Counting the damage of our friendly neighborhood Ultisaur: Ultisaur: 18 BODY. GM: 30, 40, 50, 60… Ultisaur: I think he's in GM's Discretion Land. GM: I think he got knocked completely through GM's Discretion Land and came out on the other side. Ultisaur: I may or may not have just ripped someone in two again. GM: 72 stun. That's a campaign record. Silverbolt: Wait! Knockback! GM: 18 minus … 3. Roll that again, but add another dice. Silverbolt: Look at the knockback vector. 3 DEMON agents knocked off the map. The one he punched was at -4 BODY, and -120 STUN. Ultisaur: I'm doing that again! … Silverbolt (after similar attacks from the other players): bet you weren't expecting us to be this lucky. GM: I was. I had a backup plan; it's about to initiate. GM hints: Steamjack: Could I haymaker? GM: You could. And that would normally be safe, as zombies normally have speed 3, so haymakering this segment would normally be OK. Silverbolt: that means don't. Ultisaur wants to mess with the DEMON ritual that, unknown to DEMON, will prevent the end of the universe: Silverbolt: Don't touch it. Don't. Ultisaur: See, you're saying that, but I'm just hearing "pick up the whole cross and attack someone with it." Silverbolt: GM? Is he going to doom the entire universe? GM: Probably. Pinpoint: Does that count as collateral damage? Steamjack: That would be a fun end to the campaign, actually. Ultisaur: Pretty fitting actually. Side effects? Ultisaur: Get the mage guy over here. Silverbolt needs a rez. Silverbolt: He's busy putting out the fire on his cloak. Silverbolt shares his grade sheet: Andy: F*** you. F*** you hard. In the anus. With a carrot. A spiky carrot. GM: I've taken a lot of your quotes out of my book, but I'm keeping that one. There is no way of misunderstanding it in a good way. Steamjack gets knocked out by a zombie who plans to attack him again. Pinpoint is up next: Pinpoint: I sit down and laugh. GM: Pinpoint takes a recovery. A force field is blocking of access to the city center were DEMON is opening a Hellgate: Ultisaur: how do we get through the force field? Steamjack: The sewers, of course. The answer is always the sewers. After an insane amount of suggestions for how to handle a situation, Steamjack offers another strange alternative involving ramps, steam trains, a cross and a donkey: GM: so you're going to… Steamjack (interrupting): SCIENCE!!! … GM: You don't have the time to build a giant air cannon for the lizard. Steamjack: SCIENCE!!! The players decide to simply walk through the obstruction, to face an old friend: GM: Heading through the maelstrom of mana, you are met with a battle cry of "You bastards! You left me paralyzed on a toilet!". About two tons of dung shortly materializes above your (Pinpoint's) head. Silverbolt: I abort to catch it in a force wall. Andy: Was I asleep during this session? … Ultisaur: I wanna throw him off the building. Silverbolt: Please don't. *repeat four times* Ultisaur: I wanna throw him into the orphanage. Silverbolt: Ok. Andy: Sure. Pinpoint: Fine. The players are currently in a building designed to pull in mana and store it, with the side effect that it's prone to suddenly releasing all this energy when effected by kinetic force (this was established in an earlier mission). Also in the building is an Atlantian Warding Stone which, as well as being known to be able to set up impenetrable force fields, focuses and amplifies mana effects. This ability can be enhanced by an electric device (which has been done here). On site is Captain Collateral (Ultisaur) and a storm mage. A rough estimate suggests somewhere around 200d6. Silverbolt: "Good evening, sir, would you like to see our menu of apocalypses?" Steamjack: I just want to say: By burning a lot of ozone, I can pump up to 70 END worth of mana into the building per turn. … Silverbolt: "I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of Apocalypse." Pinpoint: Chunk Norris. Andy makes her/his move: Andy (pointing at a battlemap model): Can I hit him from here? GM: Yes… But it's Pinpoint. … Andy: Can I Cannonball him? Ultisaur: That sounds vaguely dirty. Pinpoint: It's (s)not. … Andy: I'd like a Snot cocoonie in real life sometimes. Ultisaur: That's disgusting. GM: I agree, actually. Not with him, with you. Ultisaur: I'd like to have acid spit in real life sometimes. Steamjack: That's disgusting. Andy: I agree, actually. With Steamjack. Silverbolt is attacked by a crap based entangle. He sets up a force wall to intercept: GM: Congratulations on your new cocoon. Silverbolt: Next phase: hamsterball attack. … Silverbolt: I'm reading the newspaper in there. GM: You summon today's newspaper. The headline: Apocalypse Now. Steamjack has steam vented, playing marry hell with everyone's senses: Pinpoint: Can I feel anyone? Silverbolt: You realize that anyone you could feel would be covered in fecal matter? This is a battle hampered by how disgusted we all are. A crap golem is destroyed and knocked into the surround mana storm: GM: Mechanical effect: Darkness to sight, hearing and smell/taste over the entire area. SPX: The sh** just hit the fan. It's flying everywhere to the point where it is hard to see. Think dysentery. After a lot of work, the players defeat the crapomancer and open a hole in the force field blocking of the city center. They also now have recovered an Atlantian Warding Stone: Steamjack: I channel a few END worth of mana into it. GM: The hole gets smaller. Steamjack: I channel 70 END a turn into it. He's knocked out by his teammates. … Ultisaur: Silverbolt? Can you drain away the mana? GM: This is the mana gained from the sacrifices of five of the world's most powerful mages done on layline intersection points, all from a bloodline that's over ten thousand years old. Including him. Silverbolt: This I why I never do anything he asks me to. Steamjack: If I could funnel that through my arcane turbine I could destroy all the world's ozone. Silverbolt has a vision about what DEMON is going to do: GM: Your vision has 333 DEMON brothers singing in perfect harmony with 333 demons, making 666 total, duh. Steamjack: All singing off key? GM: In front of a massive Hellgate in the city park. Silverbolt: Everyone into the train. Road trip. … GM (Revealing a battle map of the city park): This was the first battlemap I made, and it was supposed to be used in the final battle of the campaign. Then, last night, it hit me: Nah, they're going to use the Steam Train. (Reveals scaled down map underneath) … Ultisaur: Where are we? GM: Imagine for a moment that you have a city map. Which you probably do. Steamjack: It's more of a city etching. … Silverbolt: On the way over there I summon a storm of epic proportions. GM: There already is one. Silverbolt: I intensify it. GM: The sky is bleeding, amongst other things. It's raining custard from the heavens. Silverbolt: I kept the umbrella! ... Silverbolt: The ultimate power roll! I want to make it rain holy water. Ultisaur: Holy Custard! GM: Ok, it's raining holy water. I need a walk… You broke the DM. Silverbolt: DM? GM: See how broken I am? … Silverbolt: Today's weather forecast is holy, with a chance of Armageddon. The stats on the captured team transport, the Iron Storm, are listed: Andy: How did we beat this thing in the first place? GM: You cut of the balloons, pushed it into a ditch, then dug it up again to chase down it's creator. Silverbolt is still coming to terms with his new form: Silverbolt: I'm a lawyer and [the holy water] isn't effecting me. GM: You're an angel. Silverbolt: How did that happen, anyway? GM: Remember the stuff the pumped into you on the cross? Angel blood. Silverbolt: Not very bright, are they? GM: Remember who altered the prophesy just a little bit? The morbane's turn; the GM looks over what he can do at the currently extreme range: GM: That would be stupid. Do you know just how stupid that would be? (rolls INT) You idiot. Silverbolt: He shocks it, doesn't he. GM: Yup. Silverbolt: He shocks the lightning tank. Let us return the favor. Referring to a zombie model: GM: It was actually originally supposed to serve as a Daemonhost. Steamjack: (stares blankly for a few seconds) Oh, right, Dark Heresy, a roleplaying game. Later in the battle (after Ultisaur fell out of the sky and Silverbolt killed a giant demon) Pinpoint figures he should help Ultisaur fight the morbane: GM: The Chinese guy jumps of the train. It's 250 meters up in the air. … GM: Segment 12. You're airborne. You've moved another 120 hexes. Pinpoint: I haymaker an attack on the morbane. GM: Well, nowhere does it say that you have to be stationary to haymaker, and you arrive next segment… Pinpoint: And I have nothing better to do. GM: You should do a move through. The velocity damage would be amazing. Silverbolt: So would the velocity penalty to OCV. Surprise bonus. Surprise bonus! … GM: The demon in between you and the morbane moves to intercept. He whacks at you with his sword. Silverbolt: Velocity based DCV. … GM: The morbane attacks Ultisaur, taking a bit of a risk. Pinpoint: Lowering his DCV? GM: Among other things. … GM: I just realized something horrible. Players: what? GM: (pointing at an object directly in-between Pinpoint and the morbane) That is a portal to hell. … GM: Alright. Pinpoint is up. Silverbolt: You're either gonna have to make an attack roll, or abort the whole thing. Pinpoint: How do I abort at this point? Silverbolt: You don't. GM: First make an acrobatics roll to jump the portal. And god help you if you fail. And me, because I need to figure out what happens. Pinpoint: God help the devil, for I will poke him. … GM: So -20 on your OCV, and +33d6 damage. Get a +10 coolness bonus. Pinpoint: I beat my acrobatics by 9, does that help? GM: You beat it by more than half. Take another +5. Steamjack: You're being generous today, aren't you? GM: It's a one in a million, and if he fails his attack roll he takes the whole 40 something dice of damage. … GM: Holy F***, he could spread the attack. … GM: So at the moment 23 DCs plus whatever needle you're using. Pinpoint: Healing needle! … GM (muttering repeatedly): The f***er, he would. … GM: what DCV did you hit, exactly? Pinpoint: 13. GM: He currently has DCV 12. Her is the problem: he has a held action, and he is a smart and resourceful mage. He teleports. Silverbolt: Can I abort to counterspell? … Silverbolt: So I need a 9 or less. (rolls) 11. The rolled six then mysteriously turned to a two. Counting the damage of the attack: GM: You put the Final Countdown back on, I'll do the Final Countdown. 40 BODY, 138 STUN, and -2 on the knockback roll. We didn't bother rolling the damage from the knockback. … Pinpoint: He crashes into the morbane at 178 km/h, creates a 50 meter deep crater, then gets back up "I'm ok" . Steamjack lands the train on the portal to hell: Silverbolt: There goes my cool idea for wrecking it. GM: You'd think the business end of a Flying Steam Train would be cool enough. Steamjack: Which end is the business end? All of them! The after action report: GM: DEMON tried and managed the same thing in London. Pinpoint: Hellgate London? Interesting. GM: In other words, the weather in London has improved. … GM: So ends season one of the ULTICORP Champions. Silverbolt: Even when we save the world from utter destruction, the collateral we cause is quite spectacular. … GM: Season two actually has slightly more intrigue. *worried looks from several players* GM: There will still be plenty of combat and explosions, of course. To finish off, here are some of the epic things that occurred: GM: End of Segment 4: harpy reinforcements arrive. Beginning of Segment 5: Pinpoint jumps twelve meters straight up, places a pair of needles neatly into the nerve centers controlling their wings, lands here, and the reinforcement crash down on either side of him, and are knocked out. … GM (After the holy rain): This must be what the apocalypse would be like. If it was happening to hell. The flights of harpies patrolling the area become screaming missiles as they crash, bleeding, into the ground. The morbane, hooked up to a PA system, curses so loud it rocks the nearby buildings. The few windows that still have glass in them shatter. The hell hounds running around wither and die like weeds sprayed with acid. The morbane takes flight, with a pair of greater demons. The greater demons are the size of your steam train, and look like the Balrog, except the rain is putting out their fires. … GM: All the hiding civilians scattered around the inner city have been listening to this creepy chanting for hours, and then the ULTICORP Champions arrive and start playing this loud enough to drone out DEMON. (The Final Countdown starts playing) Having turned the train into a giant speaker. A pair of UNTIL jetbikes arrive and move into wingman positions on either side of the train. … GM: Pinpoint jumps off the train, goes into standard skydiving position, and takes aim towards the black winged Morbane. While moving at 178 kilometers per hour, he leapfrogs over a portal to hell using the opportunity to refine his aim. Just before hitting the Morbane He lets out a cloud of needles, and hits every nerve center with them. He then bounces off him, transferring enough pure kinetic energy to create a crater 50 meters deep. He then lands on his feet directly in front of Ultisaur, and begins dusting off. He's attacked by the last of the Mega-Demons, but Ultisaur punches it, and Steamjack finishes it off by landing the steam train on it and the portal to hell. … GM: The sky starts clearing up, with the first ray of sunshine coming down as a pillar of light on Silverbolt, expanding out to your gathering comrades. The wave of light dispelling the ash filled darkness moves out to take in the destruction of the scene, from the steam train park in a pile of rubble next to a crater; to the corpses and demon parts and custard lying around the city park battlefield; to the ruins of the inner city, where most of the buildings are in pieces; the dead harpies scattered over the few still standing buildings. Past the ULTICORP main building, where Agent Wallace is just finishing up the last demon in the lobby, before squinting up at the sudden light. The surviving UNTIL agents wander over to him to look out at what left of the city. It hits the force field surrounding the inner city, which then collapses, and the buildings that the force field has gone through collapse around it as the wave of light reaches them. It expands ever further outwards until the entire city is drowning the angelic light of a dawn they never thought would come. Ultisaur: In other words, just how Detroit used to be.

I participate in a local gaming club. We meet once a week, play some board games and do some role-playing. This school year we've done Changeling the Lost, but the most influential members of the club are getting bored with Urban Fantasy, and with the World of Darkness system. So they've asked for volunteers to run next year's campaign and ideas for a system to use that isn't DnD or WoD. Naturally I pulled my Basic Rulebook out of my bag and suggested Champions as a possible campaign; I was met with overwhelming support and a pile of questions. It seems likely that I'll be running the campaign next year, and that it will be a variation of Champions. My problem is that on a average day this club has 15 players and 3 GMs. We peak at over 25 people. As a GM, it's simply epic. Rather than playing the life of an adventuring group we model a whole society. It requires thinking far outside the regular box, and frankly I'm afraid its a bit more than I can handle. Hence, I appeal to the collected genius of the forums. The first thing I need is plot ideas. My previous champions game was a collection kidnapped DNPCs and robberies in progress. I'll need more of a repertoire, essentially plots that are low on combat, or without combat entirely. I've never actually run any non-combat encounters. Remember that the rather unique nature of the club allows for added dimensions to the plot, like two groups working at the same problem from different angles. Secondly, I need villains. The awesome, the evil, notes on running official ones, crazy teams you're made yourself, theme groups, ect. I've got 140 missions to plan; everything goes. My Plan, or what I have so far First off, the players will have part of some larger group of heroes than in a normal campaign. A League like organization is the best idea I've been able to come up with. It allows for a rotating roster for teams for different tasks, makes it possible for them to be asked on expeditions, and is a large enough organization to allow for infiltration by hostile groups. I also figure internal politics and rule changes could be a spring board for non combat scenarios. As for plot, I need a big and scary foe for a campaign spanning meta arc. The problem is that it's hard to choose just one big bad. Between MECHANON, VIPER, DEMON, ARGENT, Istvatha V'han, Takofanes, Dr. Destroyer (shadow or standard) or even Foxbat, there are a lot of potential masterminds out there. As it stands I'm considering two half year storylines, first Istvatha V'han then Takofanes, with the others coming in on semi related month long storylines, and/or making appearances occasionally on scenarios not related to the main plot. As a starting point to the campaign, I figure some disaster strikes Millennium City, a general call for heroes is issued, and a coalition forms from the gathered heroes. An alien invasion would do nicely, especially if it's a race of aliens working for Istvatha V'han. Of course, if I later figure another master villain for the main role another disaster might be more appropriate. And that's all I've got. Ideas will be rewarded with rep.

Re: Forget about flying cars... It needs a pair of front mounted machine guns, and some missiles. Also a Stealth mod.

Re: Total Joy, campaign notes I lost are now found! I'm in. Also, who ever made hero central is insane.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... They're back, and they're wackier than ever. Part four of the ULTICORP Champions Quotes (from our mega weekend session last summer). This is the last session from that summer, with me finally having gone through the recording. After this, there's only one more 8 hour session left from that entire campaign. Silverbolt: Lightning mage. Also a bit of a transmuter, being able to make food out of thing air, and change clothes as a half action. Fond of practical jokes. Ultisaur: Genetically modified Brick. ULTICORPs latest genetic super-soldier prototype. His spit is acidic and he's somewhat aggressive. Couldn't make it to this session. Steamjack: Steam-powered Power-Armoured Brit. Enough said. Also, he's going slowly mad. Pinpoint: Asian Acupuncturist hero, and natrual enemy of the Triad. Speedster Cyborg after an incident involving the Triad and an experimental procedure. Andy: Snot Elemental controller. Hunted by schoolground bully Butch, who as it turned out is a "son" of Telios. The Random: Silverbolt: It's interesting that our brakes for HERO system are as long as the sessions. ... GM: Your existence disturbs me. ... Steamjack: If he takes the ring off, the whole world explodes. *pause* In theory. ... GM: There's always property damage. This is a Super Heroic Campaign. ... Steamjack: You're not quite grasping this Cthulhu thing. There is more to Cthulhu than squid-face. ... GM: An Autofire tree is throwing pine cones at her. ... Steamjack: I scream at my fish. That is: I blame them for this. ... Steamjack: What sort of dog was it before it shook of his face? ... GM: You succeed in finding something nervous to hit. ... GM: It's sort of like trying to hit the broad side of a barn while inside it. An ork could do that. Two out of three times. ... GM: Gaia fails to spot you. ... GM: I don't have six fingers, contrary to popular belief. ... Silverbolt: Kick the dog, except don't, its spiky. ... Andy: Get Bush! Wait, I mean Butch! Steamjack: Too late, I'm on my way to the White House. ... GM: you may want to abort to dig for cover. ... Steamjack: I need three fairly unique dice! ... Silverbolt: Hey! Give me back myself! ... GM: Your segments. It is 12. ... Andy: The Christmas session is gonna have one hell of a recap. "Do you remember way back when..." ... GM: You're going to push enemy agents into radioactive goo? Do you want a team of VIPER super agents to hunt you guys? ... Steamjack: I makes sense from the munchkin standpoint. ... GM: The machinegun was relatively unpathetic. ... GM: Cybernetic = awesome. It says so in the SPX. ... Steamjack: Entangler? I haven't even met 'er! ... Pinpoint: Never fart in a wetsuit. ... GM: Fear of the Huldra caused a time honored Viking tradition of checking whether a pretty woman has a tail. (mimes slapping an ass) ... Steamjack: Where did that dice go? It must be a sign from the gods. I only need to roll to dice. ... GM: Always stand somewhere where you have duct tape and a weapon within easy reach. (Everyone draws a weapon) Concerning hobbits: Andy: They eat ten times a day, they're like locus. GM: "Oh my god, we have Hobbits in the field. Bring out the pesticide." A disturbing conversation: Andy: Steamjack! Silverbolt: He's in the crapper. Andy: Nevermind! Pinpoint: Good Luck! Andy: Don't hurt yourself! ... Silverbolt: Are you analyzing his actions? ... Andy: I hear you! Silverbolt: Careful! She's buying targeting with hearing! Andy: I can target you! GM: She doesn't have line of effect so it doesn't matter. Andy: The door's pretty flimsy, a snot cannonball would go right through. GM: It's reinforced with lead. I don't want people scrying on me while I'm in the bathroom. Silverbolt: You're gonna die of lead poisoning, you know that? GM: Nah, the radon will get me first. And another one: Andy: I pretty much peed on his bed yesterday. GM: That would explain a lot, actually. Andy: NO! What are you talking about?! Silverbolt: Don't wet other peoples beds! Andy: I marked it as my own. A perfectly natural phenomenon. Silverbolt: At least you're moving out. GM: Yes. You've marked by little brother's territory. And he's throwing the bed away. ... Andy: I like this chair. I should pee on it. Silverbolt: Will you stop peeing on the GM's things! Might as well change your character's focus from snot to piss. ... GM: It would be hard to justify an entangle with those special effects. Silverbolt: No, no, no, no , no. Not an entangle, a sight group flash. GM: "not the eyes, not the eyes" Discussing and recaping the plot so far: Steamjack: [The alien probe] kept walking in and out of buildings to shake Ultisaur off. GM: Not so much shake as scrape. ... Silverbolt: I'm the only one in this party who has yet to commit evil acts. GM: You're a lawyer. Laaawyeer! Silverbolt: It's legal Steamjack: Yeah, he's lawful evil. ... GM: After a vicious fight in the bowels of the city under the ruins of a city block... That was your fault by the way, ... Silverbolt: We destroyed an entire city block. Actually, all his [steamjack] fault. Steamjack: Huh? Silverbolt: Who detonated it?! Steamjack: Detonated what? Silverbolt: The building. Steamjack: Oh, right, the building. ... GM: That DEMON would be Devious enough to use the Distraction... Lots of alliteration. To much. Andy: Just when in the night did you write that? GM: ten minutes ago. ... GM: Though ULTICORP is it's usual Silent Self on the Subject... crap. The rumor has it that the probe is being S-studied for new weapon S-systems. ... GM: They stole the stuff you stole from them when they were trying to steal it from the museum. Silverbolt and Ultisaur's mother is threatening to take them home because they didn't clean the house sufficiently: GM (after Steamjack has explained the situation, with Silverbolt still pleading over the phone): Now all he has to do, is make his bureaucratics roll. *rolls a 7* He should be fine. He was. GM: While On his way home from school one autumn day, Andy is struck with the feeling that he is being followed: Silverbolt: "I think someone is following me" Whack! "Oh, they were." Andy is attacked by a middle school bully (Butch), and a pair of dogs with squid faces: Steamjack: She contacted us right? I assume it is a conspiracy related to the Fish, and inform her that I am on my way. ... Silverbolt: I know. I'll show up a threaten to sue them and they'll run away whimpering. ... Silverbolt: How far away from this place are we? GM: to. Silverbolt: Two turns?! GM: Too far. Silverbolt: How far away from this place is our steam train? ... GM: I see that in the long term Andy is faster than the Cthulhu dogs. Silverbolt: Unless they move non-combat. GM: Which they wouldn't. Silverbolt: Unless to try to get in front of her. Steamjack: Which would require intelligence. GM: Checking their INT score... *rolls 18 on the INT roll* GM: They trip over their own tentacles trying to keep up with you. Silverbolt does a KS: Arcane World roll to see if he can identify these critters: GM: Lovecraft was a moron. Nothing he wrote about really exists, except in the dreamscape, and there only because some people read too much Lovecraft. ... Silverbolt (having gone through most of his knowledge list): Magical effects and side effects. Beaten by 6. GM: It could be a transformation spell that has gone horribly, horribly wrong. Steamjack: Or horribly, horribly right, depending on what they were trying to do. Andy rolls box cars on her TV entertainment roll (the players try everything before going on to do actual leg work): GM: You think you might have seen it on Teletubies. ... On second thought, that might have been the vacuum cleaner. ... GM: Clearly your knowledge of the Arcane has failed you on this matter. Clearly your knowledge of Mordern Culture have failed you on this matter. And clearly your knowledge of Steampunk Mechanics have failed you on this matter. Pinpoint: Acupuncture! I beat it by 2. ... Pinpoint: Steamjack, assist my inventor roll, I'm making Deep Thought. ... Pinpoint: Does it at least make a Mac? GM: nope, you don't succeed by enough for a Mac; you make a Windows. Andy: Run-time Error! Steamjack: I press ctrl-alt-del. GM: reality crashes. Silverbolt makes a bold plan: Silverbolt: I'll disguise myself as a lawyer, and go over to his house with a court summoning for running Annie down with Cthulhu Dogs. Steamjack: You ARE a lawyer, just take off your disguise. Butch's garden starts attacking the players: Andy: It was a pine tree?! You could have warned us! What kind of a GM are you?! Silverbolt: He did tell us. We just ignored it because it's a pine tree. ... Silverbolt: His plants are programmed to attack anything that walks down his garden? GM: Apparently. Or just lawyers. Silverbolt unleashes hellfire on the gas attacking rose bushes: GM: I wonder whether the gas is flammable. I guess we're about to find out. But first, Steamjack. Steamjack: no, no, no, I want to see this. I put a hat on that would put Jayne's to shame: Silverbolt: Why are you wearing a hat? GM: Its cool. Silverbolt: No. No it isn't. GM: It's been lieing in the shade under my bed. Its not warm, hence cool. It's a running gag that Andy is a girl (because of the female player): GM: There is now a boy on your back. Steamjack: Girl. GM: I will not confuse her gender. *pause* Note that I said "her". Steamjack tries to pull Butch over to him: GM: He catches fire. Silverbolt: Does he appear to be in pain. GM: He appears to be charcoal. He catches fire quite quickly. Steamjack: I scream like a girl and throw him away. ... GM: Right. Your archenemy spontaneously combusted. Andy: I'm feeling pretty good about that actually. The players find out that "Butch" is one of the creations of Telios, the perfect man: Andy: As in he is a demon? GM: No, as in he has genetically modified himself to be virtually awesome. Steamjack: I abort to disagree. Steamjack tried to steal a poison gas rose while the fire department and ULTICORP R&D argue over who should get them, but it explodes: Steamjack: Rocket fuel roses. ... Steamjack (underground): I stick up my hand, and imitate a rose bush. GM: ULTICORP fails their PER roll badly, you feel your hand being grabbed. Steamjack: I counter grab. *Thoomp* "there you are!" GM: The fire department comments: "bloody gophers" ... Steamjack: I pick up the R&D department and put it in my pocket. Does the R&D department object to this? ... Steamjack: I scream "My science!" and start up the Arcane Turbine. Which means I start burning ozone. GM: Which means the R&D department takes three steps back and set up their sensor arrays. A discussion on the quality of the various chairs in the room: Steamjack: You need to be able to lean back like this. *Silverbolt deliberately sits as to ignore his advice, and looks comfortable* This is also why I think Silverbolt is subhuman. GM: That's your reason?! Silverbolt: Sub? Sub?! Steamjack: One of them... The players head into the sewers to interrupt a trade between Telios and VIPER: GM: Trying to find the old chemical plant is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Except the haystack smells far worse and is half a mile wide. Pinpoint: No problem; needles are my specialty. GM: It's a metaphor! Pinpoint: No, its not. GM: yes, it is. *repeat trice* Andy: Actually, its a simile. GM: ... Boring person. Navigational cut scene: GM: It takes about ten minutes to find an entrance into the old sewers Steamjack: Excuse me?! I could dig a straight line. GM: Yes. And if you miss the sewers you'd dig a straight line until you hit magma. Steamjack: That would be annoying... Silverbolt: But he has sonar... GM: Sigh. Can you not mess with my cut scene? Steamjack: Sorry, I thought this one was interactive. I did this on purpose: GM: For here it's just following the sign posts and avoiding the more unstable regions. What could possibly go wrong? ... Steamjack: Oh, come on. Don't say stuff like that. Silverbolt: You had to say it! GM: Of course I had to say it. Silverbolt: Alright every one. PER rolls! Terrain description: GM: Platform, Platform, Catwalk, Catwalk, Catwalk, Platform, Pile of Radioactive Goo, Pile of Radioactive Goo. Silverbolt (to Andy): Up for a swim? Silverbolt tries to take out the lights: GM: Only one problem: Capacitor. There was a capacitor here *gestures to space next to a vat of radioactive goo*. Andy (dripping with sarcasm): That's secure. GM: They weren't expecting a lightning strike two hundred meters below ground. The vat was damaged, rapidly making the ground level a very dangerous place to be. ... GM: So the protective rails are more solid than the containers for radioactive stuff. Yay for Detroit engineering. ... Silverbolt: It's pitch black? GM: yep. Steamjack: Doesn't the radioactive goo glow? GM: true, I guess there is some light. Pinpoint: Very ominous lighting. A radiation accident: GM: Ultisaur crouches down, grabs a Brutus and a Nimbus Injection, jabbing himself going Roar!, as he always does. Silverbolt: who gave him one of those?! GM: Who knows. Its a cutscene. He flies over here. You (Andy) go "sigh" and follow him over for support. (both players are now using restrainable movement modes and directly over a vat of radioactive goo.) This guy opens fire. With his entangle. Best without comment: GM: I can already see it on the forums. Best without comment: Andy: Where do you think the lizard has its penis? Andy: ... Fine. Pinpoint: Said in a pool of radioactive acid. Another glance at a character sheet: Steamjack: PRE GM: Presence. The ability to go Buga-buga-buga! Steamjack: And not being impressed by others going Buga-buga-buga! Silverbolt: Why do we never go Buga-buga-buga! ? Steamjack: Actually I'm planning on doing that now. All players at once: Buga-buga-buga! Directly from the recording: Silverbolt: How did he... What the... Shi... Eh, Pinpoint? You're dead. You're very, very dead. ... (The joys of having a weapon in VIPER's arsenal that the players are deadly afraid of.) GM: You may wanna divide for cover. Silverbolt: ... That works too. ... Pinpoint escapes elegantly: GM: The Thumper continues firing. *to Steamjack* You know that wall you were hiding in? You are now in the open. Steamjack: I abort to dig for cover. The VIPER agent are now outnumbered: GM: The remaining VIPER agents surrender. Andy: Seriously? VIPER agents surrender? I didn't know they could do that. A characteristics descussion: Silverbolt: If a 12 year old has high Comeliness it means he's a pretty-boy and gets picked on a lot. Andy: 20... GM: He is a pretty-boy who gets picked on a lot, as witnessed by the flammable one. Hexagons: GM: the sum of the outer angles on a hexagon is 60 times 6, so 360. Andy: How lame. GM: You're lame. Andy: you're getting defensive because I dissed hexagons? That's kind of pathetic. GM: I've gotten used to making maps with them...

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/01/27/obama-budget-drop-nasa-constellation-program/?test=faces NASA's plans for sending humans back to the moon by 2020 have been brutally terminated by the new budget. Now its all up to the private sector, it seems.

Re: Secret Wars Campaign Log And bump.