Nemesis

[Rachel]

Re: Nemesis

 

Rachel' date=' I really like this stuff. The background is an homage to the Dark Knight, but the story and character are still your own. I liked the vignettes, and really wished there was more. I particularly liked the passage about the streetlights in the fog. Very descriptive. [/quote']

 

Thanks. I'm working on some ideas for more, but I have a definite deadline to have this done by, so they may end up being put into posts as flashbacks as events remind her of things she's done in her past to prepare for just the contingency she's facing at the time.

[AngryBug]

Re: Nemesis

 

 

She was another month in the hospital with daily therapy before being released. The Olympic hopeful walked out of the hospital on crutches, with both legs in braces. What the public didn’t know, and would never find out, is that her doctor sympathized with her dilemma and had lost someone to mob violence when he was younger, so he’d made sure her records showed that she didn’t respond to the physical therapy as had been hoped. The fact of the matter was that she’d shown remarkable progress, exhibiting a determination that wouldn’t be denied.

 

.

 

Ummm... I'm missing something here. Why does her doctor fake her records ? It sounds like an insurance scam to me ! Is she supposed to be thought to be crippled by the world at large? Does she use a wheelchair in her Secret ID or something? It just seems like odd behaviour for the doc- I really don't get his motives for this!

AngryBug confused , Rachel explain ...

Other than that, I really like female Batman/Punisher archetypes . Wasn't there a vigilante character in Alpha Flight called Nemesis? I think she had a sword that was supposed to be "one molecule thick"...

[Guest Skaramine]

Re: Nemesis

 

Just feedback in general. Does it suck? Is there a way to make it better? Constructive criticism is always welcome.

 

I won't be working on the actual character sheet until (hopefully) she gets accepted into the game.

Far from it. You're a great writer. I never realized that. You lied to me when you said you weren't creative!

[Christougher]

Re: Nemesis

 

I'm not sure whether to be supportive of you or not, Rachel, we're competing for the same spot, with characters who share strong similarities:

 

http://www.herogames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16622

 

Seriously, good character, and may the best Dark Avenger win.

[Guest Worldmaker]

Re: Nemesis

 

I'm not sure whether to be supportive of you or not, Rachel, we're competing for the same spot, with characters who share strong similarities:

 

http://www.herogames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16622

 

Seriously, good character, and may the best Dark Avenger win.

 

 

Just FYI, but a second solo campaign is in the planning stages.

[Christougher]

Re: Nemesis

 

Just FYI' date=' but a second solo campaign is in the planning stages.[/quote']

 

*Drool*

 

This just flashed past my mind:

 

The two dark-clad vigilantes simply stared at each other, waiting to see who would twitch first. The winged woman on the right asked, "Who are you?" Her contemporary replied, "Nemesis, from Newport." Answering her own question, the first offered her hand, "Raptor, from Raliegh. Whose butt are we going to kick tonight?"

[Hawksmoor]

Re: Nemesis

 

Just FYI' date=' but a second solo campaign is in the planning stages.[/quote']

 

That is good news!!

 

Hawksmoor

[Rachel]

Re: Nemesis

 

*Drool*

 

This just flashed past my mind:

 

The two dark-clad vigilantes simply stared at each other, waiting to see who would twitch first. The winged woman on the right asked, "Who are you?" Her contemporary replied, "Nemesis, from Newport." Answering her own question, the first offered her hand, "Raptor, from Raliegh. Whose butt are we going to kick tonight?"

 

Nemesis isn't that talkative.

[Guest Worldmaker]

Re: Nemesis

 

Nemesis isn't that talkative.

 

And the second one is going to be set in Miami.

[Rachel]

Re: Nemesis

 

Ummm... I'm missing something here. Why does her doctor fake her records ? It sounds like an insurance scam to me ! Is she supposed to be thought to be crippled by the world at large? Does she use a wheelchair in her Secret ID or something? It just seems like odd behaviour for the doc- I really don't get his motives for this!

AngryBug confused , Rachel explain ...

Other than that, I really like female Batman/Punisher archetypes . Wasn't there a vigilante character in Alpha Flight called Nemesis? I think she had a sword that was supposed to be "one molecule thick"...

 

She's supposed to be thought of as crippled by the world at large. I thought that was fairly self evident, but I guess not.

 

Have to look into fixing it. Thanks.

[Doug McCrae]

Re: Nemesis

 

I'm not sure whether to be supportive of you or not, Rachel, we're competing for the same spot, with characters who share strong similarities:

 

http://www.herogames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16622

 

Seriously, good character, and may the best Dark Avenger win.

I can see the logic in going for a Batman type for a solo game - it's the one chance you get to play that sort of character. But Spider-man is the really outstanding loner of the comics universe. Bats has Robin of course and he'll join a team if he gets to be leader but Spidey's never been one for team joining. And all those thought balloons - no one to talk to. The webslinger truly is deeply introverted.

[Doug McCrae]

Re: Nemesis

 

She's supposed to be thought of as crippled by the world at large.

Is that an Oracle/Barbara Gordon thing? Cool idea, combining the bats.

[Rachel]

Re: Nemesis

 

Okay, here's the "finished" background for Nemesis. Any feedback is welcome.

 

Nemesis

 

Real Name: Emily Cartier

Concept: Martial Artist

Hair/Eye Color: Black/Blue

Height/Mass: 5’ 10â€/160 lbs.

Nationality: American

Place of Birth: Newport City

Date of Birth: September 25, 1974

 

Background Story: The Cartiers were an American success story. Thomas was a successful businessman, heading a mutlinational conglomerate. His wife, Martha, was a renowned surgeon. They had three children, all very bright, ambitious children. Their oldest child, Emily, was a gymnast considered by many to be a front runner to make the US Olympic team. Thomas, Jr. showed a great scientific potential at a young age. Bruce was a talented artist, despite being only ten years old. They were the social elite of Newport City, until their world was destroyed.

 

The Cartiers were celebrating Emily’s 15th birthday with a small dinner at an exclusive Italian restaurant. All the Cartiers were in attendance, as was their butler, Pierre, at Emily’s request. It was a pleasant dinner that turned frighteningly wrong. The cake had just been brought out when several men walked in, calmly lifted automatic weapons and started firing. If that wasn’t bad enough, several men appeared from a back room and returned the fire. Screams filled the restaurant as patrons were caught in the crossfire, including the Cartiers. Emily felt a flash of pain in her lower back as she dove under the table, taking her youngest brother Bruce with her. She was horrified to see his surprised expression, wide open vacant eyes and the blood covering his shirt. She gritted her teeth as the gunfire continued, laying perfectly still and weeping over her brother’s body as she saw her family fall to the ground, dead. She was still laying with Bruce, crying, when the police arrived to clean up the carnage.

 

While Emily was laying in the hospital, in traction, Pierre’s brother Andres visited her, giving her someone to share her grief with. Someone who understood the pain she was going through. Emily had no family left, neither did Andres. It was in the hospital that she looked Andres in the eye and swore she wouldn’t rest until her family was avenged and Newport City was safe for other families.

 

Emily wasn’t able to attend her parents’ funeral due to her injuries, which was yet another reason in her mind to avenge them. She was released in a wheelchair for the reading of her parents’ will. At the reading, it was discovered that in the event of the Cartier parents’ death, Pierre would become the children’s legal guardian, Andres being named if Pierre wasn’t able to do so. Thus formed a relationship that has endured to the present day.

 

She was another month in the hospital with daily therapy before being released. The Olympic hopeful walked out of the hospital on crutches, with both legs in braces. What the public didn’t know, and would never find out, is that her doctor sympathized with her dilemma and had lost someone to mob violence when he was younger, so he’d made sure her records showed that she didn’t respond to the physical therapy as had been hoped. The fact of the matter was that she’d shown remarkable progress, exhibiting a determination that wouldn’t be denied.

 

With Andres shielding her from outside interference, Emily retired to her family’s penthouse to begin preparing herself for her mission. She’d been taking martial arts since a young age as a means of defending herself and helping with her conditioning and she continued her training in the martial arts and gymnastics on her own, working steadily for six hours a day. The rest of her time, she spent studying many subjects that would help her. Forensics, criminology, security systems, chemistry and many other subjects, bringing to bear a keen intelligence and an ability to focus that most had overlooked in her due to her athletic ability.

 

Finally, she decided that she’d learned all she could on her own, so she set out to find the finest teachers in the world to gain the benefit of their expertise. She disguised herself, using false names, as she sought the tutelage of the best the world had to offer.

 

A hidden Ninja temple in Japan – She sat stoically, listening to the tirade. The master was upset. He’d tasked her to sneak into a room and poison someone’s tea while they were drinking it, then sneak back out, all without being noticed. She’d balked. She wouldn’t kill an innocent person just to pass a test. The master proceeded to lecture her, roundly criticizing her Western sensibilities, telling her she didn’t have the courage or the determination needed to be a ninja. He paused and lifted his cup to his lips. Her hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, stopping the cup just short of his mouth. She brought her other hand up slowly, showing the ninja master the empty vial of poison.

 

The jungles of Nicaragua – The air was hot and heavy, pressing in on the people in the makeshift camp. Sweat plastered her shirt to her back as she finished putting the automatic rifle together before whipping the blindfold off and taking aim at a nearby tree. There was a satisfying click as the hammer fell on the empty chamber. Pedro looked at her and grinned around his big cigar, his strong yellowed teeth showing prominently. “You put together every gun we have blindfolded. You can arm and disarm bombs faster than Jorge. You even taught us a thing or two about sneaking around. I can’t teach you any more,†he paused thoughtfully. “Join us. It will be a glorious revolution!â€

 

She reached into her pack and withdrew a bundle wrapped in plastic, then tossed it to Pedro as she shouldered the pack and walked away without a backward glance.

 

The streets of Paris – The night air was cool and damp, fog shrouding the streets, streetlights looking like small moons, their nimbus only showing their location without lighting the way. The dark shadow ahead of her walked along, unaware of her presence. Her Mossad trainer had given her a mission to kill this man, an international terrorist. She crept along behind, keeping her distance, every sense alert. She lost him when he rounded a corner and hurried to catch up. He was gone. A frown appeared on her face as she glanced around, moving forward stealthily. She turned to look over her shoulder to feel the cold barrel of a gun press against her forehead and the unmistakable sound of a hammer being drawn back.

 

“Bang! You’re dead!†the man said with a thick French accent. “Now, cherie, tell me what you did wrong.â€

 

She sighed in frustration.

 

Finally deeming herself ready, she returned home and proceeded to assemble the tools she would need for her mission. With money not being a problem, she carefully researched the best weaponsmiths and gadgeteers known. She also set up blind trusts and dummy corporations to leave as little a trail as possible for others to backtrack her. She found out about Stefan Tischler, the Weaponsmith. After researching him, she realized that the man who supplied villains their weaponry would be an ideal, and ironic, choice to supply hers. She arranged a meeting with him and told him what she wanted. The old man, seeing the irony in this young woman coming to him for her weaponry to fight crime, named a price with a twinkle in his eye. She agreed without hesitation. The business relationship continues to this day.

 

Once she was outfitted, she chose the name Nemesis and started her mission.

 

Quote: "Not in my town, scum!"

 

Personality: Nemesis is a grim, humorless woman. Protecting the innocent is her life, literally. Emily Cartier is the façade in her mind, useful for keeping people from finding out who she really is and having society contacts that prove invaluable in a town whose corruption is so pervasive. As Emily, she adopts a light, slightly bubbleheaded persona, coming across as a young lady who’s into charities and fundraising, but doesn’t seem to know what the big important issues are. As Nemesis, she’s a very intense woman whose obsessive devotion to her cause has caused people to be frightened of her. Nemesis likes people to be frightened of her. While she won’t kill unless absolutely necessary, she won’t shed any tears over a dead criminal, either.

 

Appearance: Nemesis is a grim figure dressed entirely in black, with a bright red representation of the scales of justice on her chest. She wears a mask that leaves her long black hair exposed, as well as her mouth and chin. As Emily, she wears her hair primly pulled back. Emily tends to wear long skirts and dresses to partially cover her leg braces. She’s never seen without her crutches.

 

Powers: Nemesis is a detective and a martial artist with no super-powers who uses a wide variety of gadgets in her war on crime. Her battlesuit has a utility belt, as well as various other gadgets built into it. When she is out as Emily, she keeps a set of lockpicks and a couple of other surprises in her leg braces and crutches, just in case.

[Rachel]

Re: Nemesis

 

Is that an Oracle/Barbara Gordon thing? Cool idea' date=' combining the bats.[/quote']

 

You know, that never occurred to me. lol Maybe I was doing it subconsciously.

[AngryBug]

Re: Nemesis

 

That's not creativity. I shamelessly plagiarized and stole ideas all over the place. lol

That just means that you're a great Hollywood writer.

(Tinseltown, where creativity means stealing something no one else is stealing...)

 

(P.S. Now that I see the whole write-up my confusion is cleared up. The whole posing-as-handicapped ("differently-abled", sorry) thing is sure to cause some interesting problems when she encounters baddies in her Secret ID...)

[Rachel]

Re: Nemesis

 

That just means that you're a great Hollywood writer.

(Tinseltown, where creativity means stealing something no one else is stealing...)

 

(P.S. Now that I see the whole write-up my confusion is cleared up. The whole posing-as-handicapped ("differently-abled", sorry) thing is sure to cause some interesting problems when she encounters baddies in her Secret ID...)

 

I would certainly hope so. I enjoy writing for the character. I seem best suited for dark campaigns. I know they appeal to me more.

[AngryBug]

Re: Nemesis

 

I would certainly hope so. I enjoy writing for the character. I seem best suited for dark campaigns. I know they appeal to me more.

Yeah, it can be very liberating to explore the "Dark Side" . It will be fun for you to see just where the character will "draw the line", especially down the road, if and when she meets up with her own personal "Joe Chill". Justice, vengeance, revenge... it's a blurry line. Nemesis has a lot of anger to work out- that must be why I like her!

[zornwil]

Re: Nemesis

 

She's supposed to be thought of as crippled by the world at large. I thought that was fairly self evident, but I guess not.

 

Have to look into fixing it. Thanks.

 

It would be nice to have a few more sentences or such on how the doctor realized this woman would be such a force that he would cover it up - such as some mutation evidence (not seriously suggesting that one, just an example), or his familiarity with other super vigilantes doing something vaguely similar, or such. It's a leap in the original text and I'm not so clear entirely, except of course for being genre-familiar enough to take it at face value.

[zornwil]

Re: Nemesis

 

Just FYI' date=' but a second solo campaign is in the planning stages.[/quote']

Didn't realize solo campaigns were done as part of that. Sometime will have to check it out, I keep wanting to do PBEM but one of the primary concerns I have is time, and in a solo adventure you don't have to worry about holding everyone up if you get waylaid for a bit. Then again, of course, I still want to do PBEM in a regular group but just don't know how long before I'd feel comfortable committing the time. I tried it out with that Epic listserv but the participation (of others, including GMs) was poor and it folded.

[zippercomics]

Re: Nemesis

 

That's precisely one of the best things about solo superhero adventuring, and personally, why I feel it works better in a pbem environment than in a face to face environment. We all know that one of the best parts about roleplaying is getting together, sharing laughs, having good times and just hanging out. But in a face to face environment, a lot of that "togetherness", the team spirit, is lost if there's only one player and one GM. It almost feels competitive.

 

In a pbem, however, these solo campaigns work better, since they function more as collaborative writings and less like competitive battles or whatever.

 

This will be the second solo game I've run, and the first remains quite successful. Muchos fun.

[Rachel]

Re: Nemesis

 

She was the Batman of the Guardians Universe for a long time' date=' and hopefully will be again.[/quote']

 

Well, all I have to do is deliver on it now.

 

She's in!

[Guest Skaramine]

Re: Nemesis

 

Well, all I have to do is deliver on it now.

 

She's in!

CONGRADULATIONS!

[Bazza]

Re: Nemesis

 

mutlinational

multinational. (I printed it off and was reading it in my Data Comms lecture and noticed the spelling/typo, thought I'd let you know).

[Rachel]

Re: Nemesis

 

multinational. (I printed it off and was reading it in my Data Comms lecture and noticed the spelling/typo' date=' thought I'd let you know).[/quote']

 

Thanks. I hate typos. lol

[Bazza]

Re: Nemesis

 

It would be nice to have a few more sentences or such on how the doctor realized this woman would be such a force that he would cover it up - such as some mutation evidence (not seriously suggesting that one' date=' just an example), or his familiarity with other super vigilantes doing something vaguely similar, or such. It's a leap in the original text and I'm not so clear entirely, except of course for being genre-familiar enough to take it at face value.[/quote'] Sine the Cartiers are wealthy, why not make him a friend of the family (or family docter). It could be useful if (when) things go wrong for Nemesis and she needs medical help. If she does need medical help, who is she going to call? Everyone else believes her to be in a wheelchair, if Nemesis comes in and they identify her as her civilian identity, the who facade comes to naught. A point-person, contact, in the hospital, would be needed. And if that person is a family friend that strengthens the need to create the facade in the first place.

 

The relevance that he was also a victim of mob violence becomes a side issue not the prime motivation. .