WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

[Wormhole]

A nutty theme villain, using the moniker "Blonde Beard", just got busted after nearly a week-long crime spree. As Blonde Beard and his pirate-themed henchers are being carted off to jail, the issue of his pet parrot, Polly, comes up. After the bird squeaks and says some cute, stereotypical parrot stuff ("Arrk, polly want a cracker," "Arrk, shiver me timbers," etc.), you or one of your teammates decides to take Polly in, at least until you can find a good home for it.

 

Later, one of the group's contacts informs you that- according to a psych evaluation done on him in prison- Blonde Beard lacked the mental faculties to have come up with the capers he and his goons perpetrated, and was most likely just a puppet of the real mastermind. Shortly thereafter, a review of surveillance footage from Blonde Beard's crimes turns up something shocking: on several occasions, Polly the parrot appears to be whispering in Blonde Beard's ear when it thinks no one's looking.

 

WWYCD?

[Chuckg]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Ahhhh, the 4e "Golden Age Champions" strikes again.

 

Starguard / New Sentinels -- have Warmaster Fielan mentally probe the parrot.

 

Dr. Pain -- '... first, it's invisible friends who might be demons, and now it's talking parrots. God, please, just send me something I can PUNCH, ok? Do I freakin' LOOK like Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"

 

Baron von Darien -- grabs Polly and twists his head off.

 

... hey, if he's right, he just solved the problem. If he's wrong -- in 1100 years of undeath as a master vampire, he's got a lot more and graver sins on his conscience than mistakenly killing a parrot.

[OddHat]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Style - Telepathically probes the parrot.

 

AnimeGai - Patiently question the parrot. Scan it for anomalies using his sensor suite.

 

FleshGordon - "Whoa, a parrot. I'd look really cool with a parrot. I could use one of the pirate costumes we got off those guys! We could do a buddy feature, like Turner and Hooch but with a bird. Or maybe a pirate sends the wrong message? Maybe I should make a little costume for the parrot? Here, we can make a little cape, and some little boots, and ... hmm, I think the parrot is angry. He is Angry Parrot, The Parrot Patriot! Here, let's try a little Flag Cape, and a Red-White-and-Blue mask!" Flesh will continue dressing the parrot in costumes and playing with it until it loudly and repeatedly admits its crimes.

[The Watcher]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Warp: "Step away from the parrot, Starguard!"

 

*Entraps parrot in Spatial Distortion Trap*

 

"All right, the jig is up! Your buddies all rolled over on you! You might as well confess now to make things easy on you."

 

If the above bluff doesn't get the parrot talking, then he calls the team mentalist.

 

Spectrum: NND's (Immunity to High Radiation is the Defense) the bird and then turns it over to the team mentalist.

 

Mystic: Immobilizes it with the Ruby Bands of Bakerak, and then casts a spell to read its mind.

[Metaphysician]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Microman II would hand the job of verification off. Still, don't assume Starguard is the one with the parrot, imagine a pirate parrot hanging out on Microman's shoulder. . .

[dbsousa]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Mystic: Immobilizes it with the Ruby Bands of Bakerak' date=' and then casts a spell to read its mind.[/quote']

 

But what if the parrot knows the way to San Jose?

[PoorWandering 1]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

But what if the parrot knows the way to San Jose?

 

Oooo foul pun!! 15 yard penalty, loss of down and a red card.

 

I liked it!

[Guest WhammeWhamme]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Flippant:

Remember that time he went through the AnimalCartoonVerse (every time he teleports, he passes through another dimension...). Take the parrot there for safe keeping. Looks like someone's banishment plan failed...

 

Estatua:

Be decidedly creeped. Discuss with team, don't take independent action, that kind of thing.

[philnicau]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

A nutty theme villain, using the moniker "Blonde Beard", just got busted after nearly a week-long crime spree. As Blonde Beard and his pirate-themed henchers are being carted off to jail, the issue of his pet parrot, Polly, comes up. After the bird squeaks and says some cute, stereotypical parrot stuff ("Arrk, polly want a cracker," "Arrk, shiver me timbers," etc.), you or one of your teammates decides to take Polly in, at least until you can find a good home for it.

 

Later, one of the group's contacts informs you that- according to a psych evaluation done on him in prison- Blonde Beard lacked the mental faculties to have come up with the capers he and his goons perpetrated, and was most likely just a puppet of the real mastermind. Shortly thereafter, a review of surveillance footage from Blonde Beard's crimes turns up something shocking: on several occasions, Polly the parrot appears to be whispering in Blonde Beard's ear when it thinks no one's looking.

 

WWYCD?

 

Someones been reading Golden Age of Champions!!

[SKJAM!]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

The Mask of Justice: Sets up an elaborate playlet which tricks Polly into revealing its sentience. The last panel of the story is Polly in its own little cage in Blondbeard's cell, vowing vengeance.

 

Rock Bottom: This looks like a job for Tao, our kitchen sink expert.

 

Calculus: "Thank goodness I didn't take off my mask in front of the little devil." Attempts to discover if the parrot's intelligence is natural, so he can boost his own IQ even further.

 

Kira Midori: "Sloppy, sloppy, forgot to mind probe the parrot." This is done.

 

Talion: Accidentally leaves the door open when his teammate mentions the parrot's apparent intelligence. Polly books.

[farik]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Since Kenneth would be the one viewing the tapes instantly nearly 100 hundred robots are scrambled to locate and detain the bird. If there was any chance the bird witnessed Husky's transformation into Kenneth 2 or three Lab Assistant Bots and one of the construction Droids will be called off the search to start helping with the robotic parrot or maybe even the tailor made parrot clone.

 

Once the parrot is captured there will be testing, lots and lots of testing. Husky would only be involved if the parrot suddenly demonstrated physical super powers that might endanger the general robot population of the base.

[Badger]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Being the most likely one to bring it home Superbadger after finding out about its level of intellingence promptly kills it with a well-placed energy blast. Cant have anyone finding out about the location of the secret cave.

[S7Michelle]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Cannis grins as she listens to the news report and then glances over to the parrot perched on the back of a chair near the TV. “I knew rescuing you would be a good idea.†She chuckles, “I have a feeling this could be the start of a very profitable relationship. You share ideas and tactics and I see to it that you get the best assortment of crackers and fruit available.†Her expression grows a bit more firm. “I am –NOT- dressing up as a pirate though. And all five of my dogs have to approve.â€

 

 

For the life of me, I can’t quite figure out how to make this one fit in the Sailor Moon campaign. But for the sake of the WWYCD will just assume that somehow the Senshi managed to get a parrot criminal mastermind.

 

Sailor Io smiles as she glances from the parrot to three other pets in the room, all of which are just as sentient as the parrot seems to be. Jade (Io’s parrot), Sebastian (Centari’s cat), and Dameon (Moon’s Dragonrabbit) all return her glance. “I know you three always seem to get left out of the action. Would you like to handle this one?†She sits back to watch, ready to interfere if the new parrot suddenly transforms into something that could actually hurt the pets.

[ParitySoul]

Re: WWYCD? #112: Polly Want A Cracker?

 

Brand X - He eyes the cage with the bird and walks over to it. Putting his hands on the carry he ups the gees in the cage to something around 3 to 4 just to make sure it can't get away. Then proceeds to carry it over to UNTIL R&D for info extraction. Quietly makes addendum to his report to UNITY.