Pariah Posted March 4, 2015 Report Share Posted March 4, 2015 A: You've never seen Tennessee Williams until you've seen it performed in the original Klingon. Q - Why does that p'tahk keep yelling, "STELLAAAAA!"? A - And now we return you to more of the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 5, 2015 Report Share Posted March 5, 2015 Q - Why does that p'tahk keep yelling, "STELLAAAAA!"? A - And now we return you to more of the same. Q: Why are all the channels showing the same program? A: When you said faceless, you meant it literally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 7, 2015 Report Share Posted March 7, 2015 A: When you said faceless, you meant it literally. Q: Behold! I have a horde of thousands with no individuality! Can you tell one apart from another? A: You're underprivileged for a reason, so shut up and get back in line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted March 8, 2015 Report Share Posted March 8, 2015 Q: Behold! I have a horde of thousands with no individuality! Can you tell one apart from another? A: You're underprivileged for a reason, so shut up and get back in line. Q: What words do the people of North Korean hear from their government most frequently? A: You idiot! You were supposed to throw stones at the infidel, not scones... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 A: You idiot! You were supposed to throw stones at the infidel, not scones... Q: But you must admit, isn't it a good thing that these Anti-Paladins don't look quite so eager to eat our children as they were before? A: That's odd. I had no idea the House Republican Caucus could all fit in such a tiny car! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 Q: But you must admit, isn't it a good thing that these Anti-Paladins don't look quite so eager to eat our children as they were before? A: That's odd. I had no idea the House Republican Caucus could all fit in such a tiny car! Q: Did anyone call for a tesseract car? A: Here is the greatest new thing - the vacuum tube! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 A: Here is the greatest new thing - the vacuum tube! Q: What do you use to deliver massive amounts of suck wherever you want it? Besides Congress, that is. A: No charge for extra derp! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 A: No charge for extra derp! Q - So the Raiders aren't raising their ticket prices after all? A - I've heard of pinkeye, all right, but yours seems to be more of a lilac color. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 A - I've heard of pinkeye, all right, but yours seems to be more of a lilac color. Q: Why is everything I see in an odd shade of violet? A: He's the best man a woman could hope for. How I hate him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 A: He's the best man a woman could hope for. How I hate him! Q - Hey, who is that guy with your ex? A - I don't think a shotgun is going to be enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 A - I don't think a shotgun is going to be enough. Q: OK, everyone in the bank freeze! You'll get out of this all right if you obey, and -- wait, do I hear Superman? A: This T-Shirt is my superhero costume. I wear Armani in my normal identity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 A: This T-Shirt is my superhero costume. I wear Armani in my normal identity. Q: "Sucks to be you, man" Man? What kind of super-suit is that? A: It's all we had budget for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 13, 2015 Report Share Posted March 13, 2015 A: It's all we had budget for. Q: I thought I was supposed to be the nation's greatest superhero! Why do I have to strap myself into these wires every time I want to fly? A: And that's why it's best not to emulate the political system portrayed in My Little Pony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 A: And that's why it's best not to emulate the political system portrayed in My Little Pony. Q - Anything's got to be better than Atlas Shrugged, right? A - I don't think that qualifies as a legitimate business expense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 Q - Anything's got to be better than Atlas Shrugged, right? A - I don't think that qualifies as a legitimate business expense. Q: Are you really going to trade the Earth to the Vogons? A: That is the final answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 A: That is the final answer. Q - "Armageddon"? What kind of answer is that? A - It's the only home I have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 A - It's the only home I have. Q; Aren't you tired of living in that hole in the ground, Bugs? A: That "hole in the ground" has a fully equipped kitchen, two walk-in closets, three guest rooms, a big-screen TV, and the best broadband Internet connection in miles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aylwin13 Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 A: That "hole in the ground" has a fully equipped kitchen, two walk-in closets, three guest rooms, a big-screen TV, and the best broadband Internet connection in miles. Q: Aren't most bomb shelters just a hole in the ground? A: Only on a weeknight when the moon is full. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 A: Only on a weeknight when the moon is full. Q: So you're going to pay me for doing my werewolf bit? A: Isn't this the sweetest-smelling Primordial Ooze you've ever encountered? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 Q: So you're going to pay me for doing my werewolf bit? A: Isn't this the sweetest-smelling Primordial Ooze you've ever encountered? Q: O.K. who time travelled the lavender back to the dawn of the Earth? A: Your planet-buster is only good for moons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 A: Your planet-buster is only good for moons. Q - Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom! A - Coffee is not a viable solution for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 A - Coffee is not a viable solution for that.Q: We need a more energetic rocket fuel for an interstellar probe. Any suggestions? A: Add some Irish, on the other hand, and now you're talking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 A: Add some Irish, on the other hand, and now you're talking! Q: My Scots bar is too quiet. I really wanted a huge, glorious brawl tearing the place apart so I could collect on the insurance. What to do? A: The might not be the best time to rally 'round the family with a pocket full of shells. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 18, 2015 Report Share Posted March 18, 2015 A: The might not be the best time to rally 'round the family with a pocket full of shells. Q - Why is ATF raiding our family reunion?! A - All right, let's go, let's go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 18, 2015 Report Share Posted March 18, 2015 A - All right, let's go, let's go! Q: TAKE US TO THE ZOO, DADDY! TAKE US TO THE ZOO, DADDY! TAKE US TO THE ZOO, DADDY! TAKE US TO THE.... A: I will look for you when the war is over, an hour and a half from now. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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