Cancer Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 A: If you don't mind, Mom, I'll eat in the cafeteria today. It's safer.Q: Hey kid, you want the coupon for the free regular rat from Rat On A Stick, or the full punch-card from Dominic's Day-Old Sushi? A: He puts the double-tap in double tapioca. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Q: Why does Pete have zombie brains splattered all over his clothes? A: You say I'm evil. I say I'm awesome. It's all a matter of perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 A: You say I'm evil. I say I'm awesome. It's all a matter of perspective. Q - You made a half-pony half-monkey monster to try to please the beautiful woman you've abducted to your secret lair? That's just evil! A - I won't come down today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Q: While I commend you on your perseverance in protesting the logging of these trees, you do know you can't stay up there forever, right? A: Han. Shot. First. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 A: Han. Shot. First. Q - How does William Shatner describe the ideal version of Star Wars? A - Not really talent, as such, but certainly notoriety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 A - Not really talent, as such, but certainly notoriety. Q: Why do you think that Gibbs is such a good investigator? A: the Lunar Core. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 A: the Lunar Core. Q: What makes an Exalted GM's computer go? A: You can't all get to be King. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 1, 2014 Report Share Posted February 1, 2014 A: You can't all get to be King. Q: What was the real reason for the hundred years war? A: Give them reverse invisibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 1, 2014 Report Share Posted February 1, 2014 A: Give them reverse invisibility. Q: How do you really tick off that annoying guy in your group who always has to play a ninja? A: I think your dog has had too much cheese already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 1, 2014 Report Share Posted February 1, 2014 Q: Let's see, should I put Nacho Cheese or Pepper Jack on my Chili-Cheese-Coney? A: It's times like these that make me glad I carry holy water and a .45 HP. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 1, 2014 Report Share Posted February 1, 2014 A: It's times like these that make me glad I carry holy water and a .45 HP. Q: How is your hunt for virtual vampires going? A: This is what super-strength acid antacids and plausible deniability are for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 2, 2014 Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 Q: Uh-oh. The president of Russia was just assassinated by a CIA operative. What do we tell the Press? A: Flowers - check. Wines - check. Romantic music - check. A shotgun and belt of grenades - double-check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 A: Flowers - check. Wines - check. Romantic music - check. A shotgun and belt of grenades - double-check. Q - How do Ivan and Victoria celebrate Valentine's Day? A - That candy is disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Q: Do you want some Bertie-Botts' Every-Flavor-Beans? A: You can't leave that lyin' there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 A: You can't leave that lyin' there! Q - I left my heart in San Francisco.... A - I have no idea what you're asking me to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 A - I have no idea what you're asking me to do.Q: Integrate along the relativistic worldline for a starship that accelerates uniformly at 1 g in its frame of reference for some rest frame distance R, reverses the direction of its acceleration in mid-trip, and comes to zero velocity at rest frame distance 2R from its start point, and obtain the time elapsed during the trip for a passenger in the accelerated frame. Evaluate this numerically for the distance to M31, about 700 kiloparsecs. A: More than some. Not as many as lots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Q: Integrate along the relativistic worldline for a starship that accelerates uniformly at 1 g in its frame of reference for some rest frame distance R, reverses the direction of its acceleration in mid-trip, and comes to zero velocity at rest frame distance 2R from its start point, and obtain the time elapsed during the trip for a passenger in the accelerated frame. Evaluate this numerically for the distance to M31, about 700 kiloparsecs. A: More than some. Not as many as lots. Q - How many students will score more than zero points on the question above? A - I think I need a penguin upgrade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 A - I think I need a penguin upgrade. Q: Fly? Of course it won't fly! It's not supposed to fly! Why do you even want it to fly? A: Petey the Stone Cold Penguin (Mascot of the sport of Curling) will love that outfit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 A: Petey the Stone Cold Penguin (Mascot of the sport of Curling) will love that outfit! Q: Like my big, smooth, round rock? A: Hopefully in a purely platonic way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 6, 2014 Report Share Posted February 6, 2014 A: Hopefully in a purely platonic way. Q - Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are dancing the Masochism Tango? A - Leftovers again, I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 6, 2014 Report Share Posted February 6, 2014 A - Leftovers again, I'm afraid. Q: Orcs are always hungry, aren't they, Saruman? How many prisoners have we got left to feed them? A: Stuck in a closet with Vanna White. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 6, 2014 Report Share Posted February 6, 2014 A: Stuck in a closet with Vanna White. Q: What are we going to do with all these vowels? A: Your homework ate the asteroid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 6, 2014 Report Share Posted February 6, 2014 A: Your homework ate the asteroid. Q: Dad, why can't I go to Astronaut School anymore? A: Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 A: Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna. Q: Is that why we send monkeys into space? A: They will never find us - we are now hidden in plain sight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 8, 2014 Report Share Posted February 8, 2014 A: They will never find us - we are now hidden in plain sight. Q: The Orcs have gone Ent-hunting again, Treebeard. Aren't you worried? A: And that's the part of "Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn." I don't quite understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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