BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 8, 2014 Report Share Posted February 8, 2014 Q: Who wants to help me summon and Elder God and destroy All Of Creation? A: I do believe that is a Dragon. Eating a pineapple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 8, 2014 Report Share Posted February 8, 2014 A: I do believe that is a Dragon. Eating a pineapple. Q: Well, I didn't expect to see that when I opened the door in the TARDIS! A: Egg-laying rouge planets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 8, 2014 Report Share Posted February 8, 2014 Q: What could possibly be worse than an egg-laying, teal planet? A: If it's good enough for Mr. T, then its good enough for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 8, 2014 Report Share Posted February 8, 2014 A: If it's good enough for Mr. T, then its good enough for me. Q: Don't you ever get tired of pitying fools? A: It's all Klingon to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 Q: Are you watching Star Trek in Russian? Why Russian? A: Just because you have a time machine doesn't mean you get to muck about with history! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 A: Just because you have a time machine doesn't mean you get to muck about with history! Q: What makes you think that you are the best one Doctor? A: dehydrated water mixed with rehydrated dark matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 A: dehydrated water mixed with rehydrated dark matter. Q: This is the weirdest-tasting latte I've ever had! How did you do it? A: I know there were twenty people behind me in line, but I was on a cellphone call to my mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 12, 2014 Report Share Posted February 12, 2014 A: I know there were twenty people behind me in line, but I was on a cellphone call to my mother.Q: How did you come to be given a swirly and your cell phone dropped in the deep fryer while you were off at the lavatory? A: I am become Drek, Shatterer of Words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 12, 2014 Report Share Posted February 12, 2014 Q: Did you say you were related to Shrek by marriage? A: He did it! *Points at Donkey* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 12, 2014 Report Share Posted February 12, 2014 A: He did it! *Points at Donkey* Q: Did we have a splice of ogre and monkey come through here? A: Dead or dead - you are mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 14, 2014 Report Share Posted February 14, 2014 A: Dead or dead - you are mine. Q: How do you know your Valentine has been watching too many horror movies? A: There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 14, 2014 Report Share Posted February 14, 2014 A: There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you. Q - You bought a Valentine's Day card for you cardiologist? What does it say? A - I only have eyes for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 14, 2014 Report Share Posted February 14, 2014 A - I only have eyes for you. Q: Why is my optometrist complaining about tunnel vision? A: Polaris merging into Sol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 14, 2014 Report Share Posted February 14, 2014 A: Polaris merging into Sol. Q: What do you see on that hyperbolic slingshot manuver northbound out of the Solar System that's impossible any other way? A: Too technical, man. Talk Foxnewsy to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 15, 2014 Report Share Posted February 15, 2014 Q: Which do you think will happen first - man managing to build a quantum tunneling device to travel amongst the stars or man managing to put an end to those ridiculous reality TV shows? A: It's all in the hips, it's all in the hips! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 15, 2014 Report Share Posted February 15, 2014 A: It's all in the hips, it's all in the hips! Q: Where does Sir Mix-a-Lot like his girls to keep their body fat? A: Dimetrodon! It ate sharks and was ten feet long! Dimetrodon! It's a thought that I can count on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 16, 2014 Report Share Posted February 16, 2014 A: Dimetrodon! It ate sharks and was ten feet long! Dimetrodon! It's a thought that I can count on! Q: Have you been fiddling with time again? A: "Screw this superhero crap, I'll just take over the planet and make Chloe and Lana my sex slaves." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 16, 2014 Report Share Posted February 16, 2014 A: "Screw this superhero crap, I'll just take over the planet and make Chloe and Lana my sex slaves." Q - So, in order to appeal to a new, younger audience, we want to make the Superman franchise darker and edgier. Ideas for the next motion picture? A - Superheroes are SO last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 17, 2014 Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 A - Superheroes are SO last year. Q: What do movie critics tell themselves at the start of every year, only to have to backtrack on by the end? A: And this, gentlemen, is why giving household pets the vote rarely ends well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 17, 2014 Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 Q: Did you know I voted for Gore but my cat voted for Bush? A: I've got a thousand rounds of ammo I'm going to keep firing until I find one that has your name on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 17, 2014 Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 A: I've got a thousand rounds of ammo I'm going to keep firing until I find one that has your name on it. Q: What is the personal motto of Frank Castle? A: Alex Summers is President! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Q: Why is the president causing so much havoc? A: I bet Dr. Doom never has this problem. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 A: I bet Dr. Doom never has this problem. Q: Mid-Terms are coming up, President Luthor, and we may have trouble keeping our majorities. Do you have a plan? A: You're all wondering what I'm doing up at this podium. Well, so am I. I wish somebody would tell me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 A: You're all wondering what I'm doing up at this podium. Well, so am I. I wish somebody would tell me. Q - Is the President's teleprompter broken again? A - Approximately the same density as neutron star matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 A - Approximately the same density as neutron star matter. Q: Alex, what is infinity squared? A: The reverse of antimatter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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