Basil

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 

 
As they would say on FIREFLY ... Shiney!
 
PDS

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 

You mean, there's a context in which this makes sense?
 

 
Can I game with you?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 
"Will you be able to perform properly, or should I bring a vibrator for self-pleasure?"
 
 
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
All of us have experienced this at one time or another...
 
"There's no way he could fail this. He'd have to roll a one. ...Uh..."
 
Last night's D&D3.5 game, the climactic battle, our battered, bruised, and exhausted party is facing off against an ancient Black Dragon. We've barely laid a glove on the thing -- spells are bouncing off it's armored hide, most of the party can't even hit the thing 'cause it's armor class is so high, and it's slowly but steadily hammering us into the mud.
 
Then one of our henchmen (a Kobald wild-mage), in an act of desperation, pulls out his Wand of Wonder. Usually when he does that, we all yell at him to put it away. This time, we're like, "Meh, what can it hurt?"
 
So he fires it off, rolls on the random chart, and gets a Flesh to Stone spell (which involves a Fortitude save, which the dragon can't possibly fail), thus eliciting our GM's ill-fated comment. An ancient black dragon with hit points in the mid-200 range, felled by a lowly Kobald.

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q: WHat is the perfect condiment to put on a roast beef and swiss sandwhich?
(Truth)
 
A: I give you kisses sweeter than honey.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
"And I would have gotten away with it to, if it hadn't been for those meddling Earthlings!"
 
"Fine. I really am the sidekick."
 
"Excuse me while I whip this out."

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 
I think I have one commission before Death Tribbles... got to go back and check...
 
I've been a bit under the weather, but finally finished this one.
 
Continuing with my blue palette period... a Dire Wolf
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
One campaign I ran was a Fantasy Hero campaign, where the bad guys were a theocratic interstellar empire who masked their hi-tech stuff under religious trappings. Among their hi-tech stuff were neural whips, blaster pistols, ten-pound high explosive charges, some mind reading, etc.
 
At one point the PCs had overcome enough bad guy soldiers to have accumulated a number of captured weapons and had armed themselves with them. They knew some of the things they needed to know to use them, but one thing they hadn't learned at this point was how to read the charge indicator on the blasters ... they couldn't read the "Charges remaining: X" readout.
 
So sneak-thief infiltrates into a temple-fortress which has had its underground works opened by an explosive charge. He nips through the passages easily, and succeeds in coming up behind a warrior-priest completely by surprise. Because the baddies have a spiffy armor kit, he doesn't think he has any way of taking out this guard quickly, so he sneaks up and puts the muzzle of his an inch behind the guard's head, and presses the firing stud.
 
There are no charges left in his blaster (I've been keeping track) so my response is, "The blaster goes 'click'."
 
"S**T!!" hisses the thief player.
 
"Funny, the guard recognizes that sound too, and he says the same thing."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
If you have young girls around (not like that, you sick-os!) you know that every young girl want to be a princess. Thank you Disney. So this is from my beautiful and innocent niece...
"I want to be a Princess Chef!"
"Umm, ok so you want to be a cook for a princess?"
"Oh no, I want to cook princesses... for Dragons!"
Oh yea, subvert that dominant paradigm girl!

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Let's see - again, not this week, but nice quotes..
 
D&D, 3rd Edition. I'm playing a Elven Ranger/Rogue with a serious Batman "Always-Prepared, Borderline Sociopath" vibe.
 
We're commissioned by a country to ride along with a shipment to their northern colonies - it seems an Abyssal Dire Shark has been sinking the supply ships - and if this last batch doesn't get through before the winter freeze, all is lost.
 
My character being who he is, he spends most of his time in the Crow's nest, on lookout. He has a massive bonus to Spot checks, so it's no surprise that he is the first to spot the shark. He slides down to the deck, to comment to his compatriots : "We're gonna need a bigger boat."
 
I just couldn't resist!
 
---------------------------------------------------
 
One of the characters I play from time to time is Victor. Victor is a Swashbuckler and Wizard (Fire Elementalism) in a friend's homebrewed system. (http://www.greylotus.org - Shameless plug!) Victor is very, very smart. Victor pretends to be a very, very dim fop. Victor also like to tie a cloth with two eyeholes over his face and buckle swashes as 'the Crimson Mask' - but that's neither here nor there.
 
The point is, he gets some good lines now and then. Once, we were commissioned to rescue a Dragon from an evil Princess who'd imprisoned him in a dungeon. I piped in with "Oh, that's preposterous. Whoever heard of combining dungeons with dragons?"
 
I know, I know. My favorite line I've delivered through him is probably the following :
 
We were on a little island north of the main continent. We were after 'the Water Crest' - a mystical artifact we needed, that lay within the volcanic tubes that undermined the island. We found the artifact - and it's magic was holding the lava at bay. So we grabbed it and ran out very fast, as the lava - freed - began to move upwards.
 
We were having a conversation with the mayor-type of the Island, and I was assuring him everything was going smoothly, nothing to worry about, et cetera. The GM informs us that the island was shaking, and began to sink (somewhat) into the ocean - apparently the pressure of the lava had been holding up the very tall island, and as the lava roiled out to meet the sea, there was a corresponding drop in height.
 
I sort of cleared my throat nervously, and added to the mayor : "Well, some settling may occur."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
After roleplaying the scene where the streetwise detective met with a contact:
 
Player 1: Why does your St. Louis underworld contact sound like he's from New Jersey?
 
Player 2: [knowingly] *All* underworld contacts are from New Jersey.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 
Just for Steve, Ultimate CLOWN

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
"I didn't know Native Americans came in blonde."
 
"Well, you have to special order them."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From tonight's Pulp Hero game:
 
The Countess, insane German noblewoman, meets with Queen Nefira, reincarnated Egyptian Queen. She has a choice between betraying the heroes and joining Nefira, or attacking her. Prodded on by the millions of dollars of jewels she's wearing, she attacks.
 
Player 1 (aside): Well, the lustre of those jewels was too strong for the Countess to resist.
Player 2 (aside): She decided to choose the lustre of two evils.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
I was running my Zombie Apocalypse game, with several long-time friends.
 
The three PC's and one NPC are on the top of a sporting goods store that they and their survivor group has been holed up in for a couple of days, as they prep to leave L.A.
 
The three PC's are Jordan, a gorgeous LAPD "kiddie cop" (think of Eliza Dushku in the LAPD uniform. Now youre on track), Eric, a recently-graduated high-school athletic star who was about to turn pro before the world ended (looks like Tom Welling), and Gabriel, a six foot ten EMT ambulance driver (who looks like Abraham Benrubi). The NPC with them is most often referred to as "Conspiracy Man", and goes only by the name of Ed. Despite a few comments about the "alien overlords" and the "flouride mind-control policy", they nevertheless gave Ed a rifle, as they had just raided a pawn shop, and his oddly useful skill-set was instrumental in their success. (They suspect he is ex military, and has seen too much).
 
The group has recently discovered that there are a few more survivors trapped on the fourht floor of a building about a block away from their own hideout. The people trapped in the office building have smashed out a window and hung a sign out of it written on a drape that says "Help Us".
 
As the characters are deciding what to do next, the sounds of gunfire erupt from a rooftop a few buildings away. The characters look around, and realize that it is coming from four gang-banger types who are taking shots at the "Help Us" sign, and the people behind it. (These are people with the same mentality as those who were shooting at police, ambulances, and fire fighters during the L.A.riots).
 
Jordan, the cop, is the first to spot the perps. She aims her rifle at them. The others follow suit. I tell them that one is shooting, another has a rifle also, and there are two others with pistols besides. They look like they are in their early twenties, of mixed ethnicity, and are wearing loose clothes with alot of sports team endorsements. Jordan makes a Perception roll and recognizes them as wearing local gang colors.
 
Ed: Firing order?
 
Jordan: Im taking down the shooter.
 
Ed: Ill take the other one who has a rifle.
 
Eric and Gabriel's Players both indicate they are also going to fire. I ask them to pick targets. And then...
 
Gabriel's Player: Ill shoot whichever one has the most underwear showing.
 
 
 
 
After we all finally stopped laughing, Garbiel then proceeded to randomly hit the unlucky s.o.b. in Location 13. For near-max damag,e and maximum Stun.
 
I guess Gabriel -really- didnt want to see that guys underwear!
 
(Edit: If this post accidentally offends anyone out there who habitually "busts a sag"... TOUGH! Pull your gorram pants up!)

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
I couldn't resist.
 
Nathan's brows furrowed involuntarily as he thought about what Clarke had just said.
 
"Alrighty! So, doesn't anyone else see what's up? It's a new power source. New, which means not many people know about it yet, right? It hasn't even got a patent on it, right? You guys thinking what I'm thinking?" he said.
 
"Hippos look silly in tutus," said Clarke.
 
CES

Re: Answers & Questions
 

 
Q: Blast, how can we slow Catwoman down long enough to capture her?
 
A: I was Bjorn to be wild.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
A GURPS Swashbuckler/Magic/Psionics campaign.
 
Cast Of Characters: (The two PC's involved are)
Mr.Davies the Shipbuilder/Tinkerer
Mr. Skinner the Marine/Scout if you please.
 
The Scene:
The Crew took a carriage from the city to a road side Tavern to secretly meet with the Prince's Agent. The Tavern is all but empty when they arrive. The Propriator is behind the bar wiping a dark stained rag accross the counter when we walk in. There is blood on his apron.
 
We signal for drinks and food. The Propriator seems nervous and replies that he will have to prepare the food himself as the cook died not long ago. We think nothing of it when he leaves without serving our drinks. Thinking more about the meeting with the Prince's Agent than the distracted Propriator.
 
Mr. Davies goes to the bar to draw our drinks himself and discovers the body Probably the real cooks and sounds the alarm. Mr.Davies and Mr. Skinner pair up while the rest of the Crew moves to surround the building.
 
Mr. Skinner and Mr. Davies begin their search in the kitchen and witness a scene of Horror. The Propriator stops in mid chop, butchering a woman and preparing our meal. The meat cleaver flys at them. Dodging the two go for their weapons.
 
The Propriator runs out a side door, down a hallway and into a room slammming a big heavy door. There is a loud click as the two arrive in pursuit.
 
Mr. Davies - "Can you pick a lock Mr. Skinner"
 
Mr. Skinner - "Certainly Mr. Davies"
 

 
Mr. Davies - "He's getting away Mr. Skinner"
 
Mr. Skinner - "No Mr.Davies he's not"
 
Mr. Davies - "That wasn't very subtle Mr. Skinner"
 
Mr. Skinner - "You didn't ask for subtle Mr.Davies"
 

 
Author Note: I was Mr. Skinner. Mr.Davies' player and I rarely got along, but for some reason this one time we just clicked. We both got a bonus point for Role Playing from the GM. It was awesome.
 
Cheeers
 
QM
__________________

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q:We've got quite a party happening on the building ledge. Don't you want to join us? We have Nypho Cheerleaders.
 
A: And that's why you are wearing the diaper.

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 

 
 
I'm a tad confused. But, believe me, that's nothing new! Is the character here a home-grown one, or does she appear in some Vampirella book/comic?
 
Oh, and I googled a wolf once. I have the scars to prove it too. Dangerous... very dangerous.
 
 
Richard

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Old one's from the Dragon's Claw (a decade ago? Gawd, I'm getting old)
 
We were playing CoC during a windstorm, the lights went out. Roger, avatar of sound FX, saw an opportunity...
The instant the lights came on he was leaning over the table and over the player opposite him (who has a PRE of roughly 4, lol) and screamed: "Kali !" We thought Howard would wet himself.
 
A player who shall remain unnamed was playing an electrically based character- they were about to journey to another star system in an unknown ship and someone started asking if we should pack supplies (food/water) since it would take about 2 weeks.
The player was already standing and said " Don't worry about me I got it covered." and touched the bare bulb in the ceiling socket...which apparently was very loose and caused the light to dim and made a good buzzing sound. All the players gave him a really funny look.
 
Not particularly funny, but very fond memories...

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 

 
I disagree about the not funny part.
Serendipitious external effects are always a great way to freak out your players. In a Cyberpunk 2020 game I was in once, the host's smoke alarm's battery was low, so it'd make a warning beep every 15 minutes or so. So, we get the game going, and of course, this happens ...
GM: "You slide the dead security guy's ID card through the electronic lock ..."
***Beep!**
GM: " ... and the door swishes open."
 
And all the players were looking around in that 'am I on Candid Camera' kind of way.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
“As you like to say, Champions taught you “With great power, comes great desire to USE that power.â€
“No, Champions taught us that if you throw a helicopter into the lobby of a bank during rush hour, there’ll be civilian casualties.â€
“That too.â€
 
 
From last weeks D&D game:
 
Me: “I use my breath weapon on it for . . . 18 damage, lightning.â€
GM: “Ok. Make an intelligence check.â€
Me: “Please don’t tell me that electricity heals it.â€
GM: “Ah . . . you can voluntarily fail the check it if you want.â€
 
 
GM (Different, a post-apoc): “The bush seems to be reaching out for you with it’s branches. Make a listen check.â€
Me: “Ah, six. I don’t hear the guys sneaking up behind me while I’m entranced by the tentacle bush.â€
GM: “Ah . . . dammit.â€
 
I use my metagaming powers only for good, I assure you . . .
 
---
From another game with the same group:
GM: “You, know, you’re STILL a gamer. The fact that you carry a gun and can take people down and throw them in jail can’t change the fact that you’re a D&D geek.â€
Player: (Mournfully) “No, it’s all because I’m short . . .â€
 
Admittedly, that was kind of a weird tangent . . .

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
This actually isn't from my gaming group, it's from my last performance review at work. It was me, my boss and my boss's boss. We were going down a list of "evaluation factors" (quality of work, quantity of work, dependability, showing initiative, attitude, etc.) when the following exchange took place.
 
Boss: "Okay, initiative..."
 
Me (unable to stop myself): "I rolled a six."
 
Boss: "Huh?"
 
Boss's boss: "Yeah, but I got surprise on you."
 
Boss: "What are you two talking about?"
 
 
I had no idea my boss's boss was an ex-gamer!