Drhoz

I so want to join this campaign, Drhoz... do you have a space empty?

Missed a session of Black Crusade, so Jrska's input in the first part of this report is limited. No doubt she was taking advantage of the post-battle chaos in the Ragged Helix to acquire various shineys no longer needed by their previous owners. Such as a Beguiling Gem, which worn as a necklace will give her weaponised cleavage.

Aladar's player, prior to roll: *Muttered sentence*
Cassius' player: what? Laxatives what?
Aladar's player: blacks are tens

To reduce the odds that the Warp entity acts up at a most inauspicious moment, Cassius feeds his staff-bound demon a soul.

Cassius: Now don't say I don't get you anything.

Cassius decides that now is the time to hunt down that alien psychic beacon and attendant pre-Horus Heresy Ultramarines, somewhere Spinward of what is now the Calixis Sector. Although there's no need to rush - instigating trouble en route will hone our skills. Describing warp travel, en route -

Cassius: They've gone to Plaid.

Returning to the Thirteenth Station, and after donning the guise of a Chaos warship and paying a toll of human souls to the blockade fleet, the Chains of Judgement encounters the 'asteroid belt' of human sacrifices floating in space.

GM: You'll need a cleaning crew after this.
Aladar OOC: *Makes Windscreen wiper swishes and squeeky noises*
Cassius OOC: Nah, we'll just use the Sunsear laser batteries.

Having used the warp currents of the Thirteenth Station to fling us off into the Imperium, the first thing to do is switch the chameleonic hull back to Imperial allegiance.

Cog OOC: First thing we do is change the desktop
Cassius OOC:Back to Windows classic, none of this heretical Windows 8 S!@#

And once in the Imperium, our ship's appearance makes it easy to browbeat a passing Rogue Trader into handing over up-to-date (if admittedly incomplete) star maps, if he knows what's good for him. Sure, the real Inquisition will hear about us imposters eventually, but there's so many horrible, horrible things we can do between now and then.

Cassius, who has been somewhat irritated that his minion is more notorious than himself, has been carefully undermining her status by given her gifts. After all, anybody that requires a patron is clearly of lower status.

GM: The most passive-aggressive in-party conflict ever.

Jrska has her own theory about his lack of infamy.

Jrska: My lord, may I act as Devil's advocate?
Cassius: You may.
Jrska: Your reputation as the Scourge of Leman's Solace, and Bearer of the Doomwind, is all very well, but I fear our peers in the Vortex will ask 'Yes, but what have you done lately?'

Jrska's brother Prince Pseudanor may have the aftermath of a coup attempt to deal with, but at least he was smiling again when they saw him last.

Jrska: I cheered him up with a good long pegging.

En route to the Spinward Margin of the Calixis Sector, where the Sevarian Dominate has declared independence of the Imperium, and the Imperium is predictably attempting to stomp the planets flat. We're more interested in what sort of trouble we can cause on the way. At least the fact our ship looks like an Inquisitorial vessel means we can sail right through Imperial systems without anybody daring to pay us much attention. We do get a good look at the defences of the system as we go through - valuable information, in the right hands.

Cassius: 'That matches an Inquisitorial transponder, and they're telling us to naff off. Naffing off, sir!'
Jrska: 'Curiosity is Heresy'

Cassius has a way of discouraging them from spending fuel to get a closer inspection of our ship - appending each transponder ping with an apt proverb.

Cassius: 'Waste is Sin'

Cassius: I looooove the Secutor-class ships.
Jrska: I'll try to get you one for your birthday, my lord.

We do pick up an ominous signal as we're on the way out, however. Cassius grabs a random crew member and slips headphones on him.

Cassius: Put it through the headphones
Crewmember: There's a sort of droning, sir
Cassius: I just needed to see if your head exploded.

What it actually is, is an Ork fleet breaking out of Warpspace, and looking for a fight. We have time for a few comments about Ork psychology and biology while Cassius decides our next move.

Jrska: feh. Orks don't have any appreciation for the finer things in life.

Cog: How well do Orks get on with Chaos?
Cassius: They don't even get on with other Orks.

Aladar: How would you feel if you were sentient fungus?
Cog: I think I'd feel pretty good about myself

Cassius decides to send the Imperial defenders in the system a quick heads-up about the incoming war fleet, then does something bold but suicidally insane - dive the Chains of Judgement into Warpspace via the rift the Orks just opened. The crew scramble to obey, praying they can get the Gellar Fields warmed up before the deamons of the Warp swarm to eat our eyeballs.

Jrska: Will we open fire on the Orks as we pass, my lord?
Cassius: Why? That might weaken them. We are not allies of the Imperium. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy.

We don't even have time to crank down the shutters that stop us gazing unprotected into the Warp. Most of the crew are merely terrified out of their minds at the sight, and suffer no more than the usual psychoses and loss of sphincter control. Aladar, however, lives up to his reputation ( and rolls 150 on a d100 test ).

Jrska: You... Useless... F**k.

GM: You came throughout it without any mental traumas.
Jrska: No additional traumas beyond the trauma of being Aladar.

Cassius manages to keep the crew at their posts through simple intimidation and lots of shouting.

Cassius: The warp is scary but I'm right here.
GM: They have a force-field protecting them from the Warp...
Cassius: And they don't have a force-field protecting them from me.

Of all the places the jump can take us, we arrive in one of the Fringe's Forbidden Systems, where automated defenses pause in their endless bombardment of the planet below, in order to tell us to fuck right off.

Auto-systems: This system is under Inquisitorial quarantine.
Jrska:
Cassius:
Auto-systems: Leave immediately or be labelled heretics.
Jrska: *Snicker*

We bluff the battle stations into thinking we need to pause here for repairs, and determine which of the crew we need to cull. Fairly standard practise, even more so on Imperial vessels.

Cassius: Blood doesn't make a good lubricant.
Jrska: It does for Khornate war engines.

We demand an situation report from the stations, and press on. The next destination is even more fraught - a system where an entire fleet of Loyalist space marines are currently gathering. It's the Millennial Wardens (a fleet-based chapter Weldun invented and played in the Deathwatch campaign, although he's playing a renegade Storm Crow in this one) who are scholarly, highly intelligent, and even worse for us, regularly work alongside the real Inquisition.

Cassius: The Storm Crows are a fleet-based chapter with incredibly bad luck. Wherever they go there's a disaster.
Cog: Sounds like us.
Cassius: *glares* Not that they respond to disasters, they just happen wherever they go.
Cog: Again, sounds like us.

GM: A space marine's voice comes over the box. You all know what that sounds like.
Jrska: I've been taking Cassius' orders long enough. Although generally there is more shouting involved.

The Wardens are politely forceful - their scans of the Chains of Judgement have revealed no blatantly Chaotic features - continent-blasting weapons powered by tortured kittens, that sort of thing - but they do recognise the alien origin of our chameleonic hull. They quite want a closer look and demonstration. Cassius and Jrska hasten to find some reason to keep them from coming aboard, so they won't discover the mutant crew, or little things like the temple-slash-bondage-dungeon Jrska built in the chapel. Eventually she convinces the increasingly suspicious marines that it's for their own safety.

Jrska: You are Space Marines, and we are reluctant to expose you to possible corruption. Unlike our own acolytes, who are by definition expendable.

Arch-Magos 'Father': They are being exceptionally inquisitive.
Jrska: More so than us, and we've got the inquisition ship .

But Jrska's talented tongue persuades them to limit their study of the hull to the outside of the hull, as well as offering us resupply of food, fuel and volatiles, which was becoming a problem.

Jrska: Wow. Talk about Refuge in Audacity - a shipful of mutants, cultists and traitors, turns up to a space marine fleet and says 'right, give us stuff'

The Millennial Wardens take the pursuit of knowledge very seriously - in their Hall of Ancients, they consult the chapter's many Dreadnoughts for advice on past events and future strategy.

Dreadnought: Today's lecture will be about the Assault on Garrus VII.
Marine: Sir? I have always thought the official account of that assault was exaggerated.
Dreadnought: THUMP. I WAS THERE. Do you dare argue with me?

The Marines are persuaded to send us an up-to-date starmap, too. Where to next? A Shrine World dedicated to one or more of the Imperium's innumerable saints has a certain appeal.

Jrska: I'm going to re-read one of my favourite books - 'The Lives of the Saints'. I find it very inspirational. Look at this one for example - 'Flayed alive with a belt sander'. See what I mean?

Jrska: I've got very fond memories of shrine worlds. One of my best outfits was made by some nuns on a shrine world. Sorry, I misspoke - made *out of* some nuns on a shrine world.
Cassius: *sigh*

Plus, there's the claim that the Sisters of Battle have never ever fallen to Chaos, which is a challenge to our ingenuity and evil.

Cassius: Maybe you can find some Sisters Repentia and teach them they have nothing to repent.

Jrska: Let's demand 600 of their most pious warriors.
Cassius: Let's not. No more treats for you until you're finished the tasks at hand.

Eventually we decide that turning up at one of the temples of seclusion, where such battle-nuns retreat when dealing with crises of faith, and posing as suspicious Inquisitors, will be an ideal way to seed corruption across the entire planet. Hie thee to a nunnery!

Missed a session of Black Crusade, so Jrska's input in the first part of this report is limited. No doubt she was taking advantage of the post-battle chaos in the Ragged Helix to acquire various shineys no longer needed by their previous owners. Such as a Beguiling Gem, which worn as a necklace will give her weaponised cleavage.

Aladar's player, prior to roll: *Muttered sentence*
Cassius' player: what? Laxatives what?
Aladar's player: blacks are tens

To reduce the odds that the Warp entity acts up at a most inauspicious moment, Cassius feeds his staff-bound demon a soul.

Cassius: Now don't say I don't get you anything.

Cassius decides that now is the time to hunt down that alien psychic beacon and attendant pre-Horus Heresy Ultramarines, somewhere Spinward of what is now the Calixis Sector. Although there's no need to rush - instigating trouble en route will hone our skills. Describing warp travel, en route -

Cassius: They've gone to Plaid.

Returning to the Thirteenth Station, and after donning the guise of a Chaos warship and paying a toll of human souls to the blockade fleet, the Chains of Judgement encounters the 'asteroid belt' of human sacrifices floating in space.

GM: You'll need a cleaning crew after this.
Aladar OOC: *Makes Windscreen wiper swishes and squeeky noises*
Cassius OOC: Nah, we'll just use the Sunsear laser batteries.

Having used the warp currents of the Thirteenth Station to fling us off into the Imperium, the first thing to do is switch the chameleonic hull back to Imperial allegiance.

Cog OOC: First thing we do is change the desktop
Cassius OOC:Back to Windows classic, none of this heretical Windows 8 S!@#

And once in the Imperium, our ship's appearance makes it easy to browbeat a passing Rogue Trader into handing over up-to-date (if admittedly incomplete) star maps, if he knows what's good for him. Sure, the real Inquisition will hear about us imposters eventually, but there's so many horrible, horrible things we can do between now and then.

Cassius, who has been somewhat irritated that his minion is more notorious than himself, has been carefully undermining her status by given her gifts. After all, anybody that requires a patron is clearly of lower status.

GM: The most passive-aggressive in-party conflict ever.

Jrska has her own theory about his lack of infamy.

Jrska: My lord, may I act as Devil's advocate?
Cassius: You may.
Jrska: Your reputation as the Scourge of Leman's Solace, and Bearer of the Doomwind, is all very well, but I fear our peers in the Vortex will ask 'Yes, but what have you done lately?'

Jrska's brother Prince Pseudanor may have the aftermath of a coup attempt to deal with, but at least he was smiling again when they saw him last.

Jrska: I cheered him up with a good long pegging.

En route to the Spinward Margin of the Calixis Sector, where the Sevarian Dominate has declared independence of the Imperium, and the Imperium is predictably attempting to stomp the planets flat. We're more interested in what sort of trouble we can cause on the way. At least the fact our ship looks like an Inquisitorial vessel means we can sail right through Imperial systems without anybody daring to pay us much attention. We do get a good look at the defences of the system as we go through - valuable information, in the right hands.

Cassius: 'That matches an Inquisitorial transponder, and they're telling us to naff off. Naffing off, sir!'
Jrska: 'Curiosity is Heresy'

Cassius has a way of discouraging them from spending fuel to get a closer inspection of our ship - appending each transponder ping with an apt proverb.

Cassius: 'Waste is Sin'

Cassius: I looooove the Secutor-class ships.
Jrska: I'll try to get you one for your birthday, my lord.

We do pick up an ominous signal as we're on the way out, however. Cassius grabs a random crew member and slips headphones on him.

Cassius: Put it through the headphones
Crewmember: There's a sort of droning, sir
Cassius: I just needed to see if your head exploded.

What it actually is, is an Ork fleet breaking out of Warpspace, and looking for a fight. We have time for a few comments about Ork psychology and biology while Cassius decides our next move.

Jrska: feh. Orks don't have any appreciation for the finer things in life.

Cog: How well do Orks get on with Chaos?
Cassius: They don't even get on with other Orks.

Aladar: How would you feel if you were sentient fungus?
Cog: I think I'd feel pretty good about myself

Cassius decides to send the Imperial defenders in the system a quick heads-up about the incoming war fleet, then does something bold but suicidally insane - dive the Chains of Judgement into Warpspace via the rift the Orks just opened. The crew scramble to obey, praying they can get the Gellar Fields warmed up before the deamons of the Warp swarm to eat our eyeballs.

Jrska: Will we open fire on the Orks as we pass, my lord?
Cassius: Why? That might weaken them. We are not allies of the Imperium. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy.

We don't even have time to crank down the shutters that stop us gazing unprotected into the Warp. Most of the crew are merely terrified out of their minds at the sight, and suffer no more than the usual psychoses and loss of sphincter control. Aladar, however, lives up to his reputation ( and rolls 150 on a d100 test ).

Jrska: You... Useless... F**k.

GM: You came throughout it without any mental traumas.
Jrska: No additional traumas beyond the trauma of being Aladar.

Cassius manages to keep the crew at their posts through simple intimidation and lots of shouting.

Cassius: The warp is scary but I'm right here.
GM: They have a force-field protecting them from the Warp...
Cassius: And they don't have a force-field protecting them from me.

Of all the places the jump can take us, we arrive in one of the Fringe's Forbidden Systems, where automated defenses pause in their endless bombardment of the planet below, in order to tell us to fuck right off.

Auto-systems: This system is under Inquisitorial quarantine.
Jrska:
Cassius:
Auto-systems: Leave immediately or be labelled heretics.
Jrska: *Snicker*

We bluff the battle stations into thinking we need to pause here for repairs, and determine which of the crew we need to cull. Fairly standard practise, even more so on Imperial vessels.

Cassius: Blood doesn't make a good lubricant.
Jrska: It does for Khornate war engines.

We demand an situation report from the stations, and press on. The next destination is even more fraught - a system where an entire fleet of Loyalist space marines are currently gathering. It's the Millennial Wardens (a fleet-based chapter Weldun invented and played in the Deathwatch campaign, although he's playing a renegade Storm Crow in this one) who are scholarly, highly intelligent, and even worse for us, regularly work alongside the real Inquisition.

Cassius: The Storm Crows are a fleet-based chapter with incredibly bad luck. Wherever they go there's a disaster.
Cog: Sounds like us.
Cassius: *glares* Not that they respond to disasters, they just happen wherever they go.
Cog: Again, sounds like us.

GM: A space marine's voice comes over the box. You all know what that sounds like.
Jrska: I've been taking Cassius' orders long enough. Although generally there is more shouting involved.

The Wardens are politely forceful - their scans of the Chains of Judgement have revealed no blatantly Chaotic features - continent-blasting weapons powered by tortured kittens, that sort of thing - but they do recognise the alien origin of our chameleonic hull. They quite want a closer look and demonstration. Cassius and Jrska hasten to find some reason to keep them from coming aboard, so they won't discover the mutant crew, or little things like the temple-slash-bondage-dungeon Jrska built in the chapel. Eventually she convinces the increasingly suspicious marines that it's for their own safety.

Jrska: You are Space Marines, and we are reluctant to expose you to possible corruption. Unlike our own acolytes, who are by definition expendable.

Arch-Magos 'Father': They are being exceptionally inquisitive.
Jrska: More so than us, and we've got the inquisition ship .

But Jrska's talented tongue persuades them to limit their study of the hull to the outside of the hull, as well as offering us resupply of food, fuel and volatiles, which was becoming a problem.

Jrska: Wow. Talk about Refuge in Audacity - a shipful of mutants, cultists and traitors, turns up to a space marine fleet and says 'right, give us stuff'

The Millennial Wardens take the pursuit of knowledge very seriously - in their Hall of Ancients, they consult the chapter's many Dreadnoughts for advice on past events and future strategy.

Dreadnought: Today's lecture will be about the Assault on Garrus VII.
Marine: Sir? I have always thought the official account of that assault was exaggerated.
Dreadnought: THUMP. I WAS THERE. Do you dare argue with me?

The Marines are persuaded to send us an up-to-date starmap, too. Where to next? A Shrine World dedicated to one or more of the Imperium's innumerable saints has a certain appeal.

Jrska: I'm going to re-read one of my favourite books - 'The Lives of the Saints'. I find it very inspirational. Look at this one for example - 'Flayed alive with a belt sander'. See what I mean?

Jrska: I've got very fond memories of shrine worlds. One of my best outfits was made by some nuns on a shrine world. Sorry, I misspoke - made *out of* some nuns on a shrine world.
Cassius: *sigh*

Plus, there's the claim that the Sisters of Battle have never ever fallen to Chaos, which is a challenge to our ingenuity and evil.

Cassius: Maybe you can find some Sisters Repentia and teach them they have nothing to repent.

Jrska: Let's demand 600 of their most pious warriors.
Cassius: Let's not. No more treats for you until you're finished the tasks at hand.

Eventually we decide that turning up at one of the temples of seclusion, where such battle-nuns retreat when dealing with crises of faith, and posing as suspicious Inquisitors, will be an ideal way to seed corruption across the entire planet. Hie thee to a nunnery!

Missed a session of Black Crusade, so Jrska's input in the first part of this report is limited. No doubt she was taking advantage of the post-battle chaos in the Ragged Helix to acquire various shineys no longer needed by their previous owners. Such as a Beguiling Gem, which worn as a necklace will give her weaponised cleavage.

Aladar's player, prior to roll: *Muttered sentence*
Cassius' player: what? Laxatives what?
Aladar's player: blacks are tens

To reduce the odds that the Warp entity acts up at a most inauspicious moment, Cassius feeds his staff-bound demon a soul.

Cassius: Now don't say I don't get you anything.

Cassius decides that now is the time to hunt down that alien psychic beacon and attendant pre-Horus Heresy Ultramarines, somewhere Spinward of what is now the Calixis Sector. Although there's no need to rush - instigating trouble en route will hone our skills. Describing warp travel, en route -

Cassius: They've gone to Plaid.

Returning to the Thirteenth Station, and after donning the guise of a Chaos warship and paying a toll of human souls to the blockade fleet, the Chains of Judgement encounters the 'asteroid belt' of human sacrifices floating in space.

GM: You'll need a cleaning crew after this.
Aladar OOC: *Makes Windscreen wiper swishes and squeeky noises*
Cassius OOC: Nah, we'll just use the Sunsear laser batteries.

Having used the warp currents of the Thirteenth Station to fling us off into the Imperium, the first thing to do is switch the chameleonic hull back to Imperial allegiance.

Cog OOC: First thing we do is change the desktop
Cassius OOC:Back to Windows classic, none of this heretical Windows 8 S!@#

And once in the Imperium, our ship's appearance makes it easy to browbeat a passing Rogue Trader into handing over up-to-date (if admittedly incomplete) star maps, if he knows what's good for him. Sure, the real Inquisition will hear about us imposters eventually, but there's so many horrible, horrible things we can do between now and then.

Cassius, who has been somewhat irritated that his minion is more notorious than himself, has been carefully undermining her status by given her gifts. After all, anybody that requires a patron is clearly of lower status.

GM: The most passive-aggressive in-party conflict ever.

Jrska has her own theory about his lack of infamy.

Jrska: My lord, may I act as Devil's advocate?
Cassius: You may.
Jrska: Your reputation as the Scourge of Leman's Solace, and Bearer of the Doomwind, is all very well, but I fear our peers in the Vortex will ask 'Yes, but what have you done lately?'

Jrska's brother Prince Pseudanor may have the aftermath of a coup attempt to deal with, but at least he was smiling again when they saw him last.

Jrska: I cheered him up with a good long pegging.

En route to the Spinward Margin of the Calixis Sector, where the Sevarian Dominate has declared independence of the Imperium, and the Imperium is predictably attempting to stomp the planets flat. We're more interested in what sort of trouble we can cause on the way. At least the fact our ship looks like an Inquisitorial vessel means we can sail right through Imperial systems without anybody daring to pay us much attention. We do get a good look at the defences of the system as we go through - valuable information, in the right hands.

Cassius: 'That matches an Inquisitorial transponder, and they're telling us to naff off. Naffing off, sir!'
Jrska: 'Curiosity is Heresy'

Cassius has a way of discouraging them from spending fuel to get a closer inspection of our ship - appending each transponder ping with an apt proverb.

Cassius: 'Waste is Sin'

Cassius: I looooove the Secutor-class ships.
Jrska: I'll try to get you one for your birthday, my lord.

We do pick up an ominous signal as we're on the way out, however. Cassius grabs a random crew member and slips headphones on him.

Cassius: Put it through the headphones
Crewmember: There's a sort of droning, sir
Cassius: I just needed to see if your head exploded.

What it actually is, is an Ork fleet breaking out of Warpspace, and looking for a fight. We have time for a few comments about Ork psychology and biology while Cassius decides our next move.

Jrska: feh. Orks don't have any appreciation for the finer things in life.

Cog: How well do Orks get on with Chaos?
Cassius: They don't even get on with other Orks.

Aladar: How would you feel if you were sentient fungus?
Cog: I think I'd feel pretty good about myself

Cassius decides to send the Imperial defenders in the system a quick heads-up about the incoming war fleet, then does something bold but suicidally insane - dive the Chains of Judgement into Warpspace via the rift the Orks just opened. The crew scramble to obey, praying they can get the Gellar Fields warmed up before the deamons of the Warp swarm to eat our eyeballs.

Jrska: Will we open fire on the Orks as we pass, my lord?
Cassius: Why? That might weaken them. We are not allies of the Imperium. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy.

We don't even have time to crank down the shutters that stop us gazing unprotected into the Warp. Most of the crew are merely terrified out of their minds at the sight, and suffer no more than the usual psychoses and loss of sphincter control. Aladar, however, lives up to his reputation ( and rolls 150 on a d100 test ).

Jrska: You... Useless... F**k.

GM: You came throughout it without any mental traumas.
Jrska: No additional traumas beyond the trauma of being Aladar.

Cassius manages to keep the crew at their posts through simple intimidation and lots of shouting.

Cassius: The warp is scary but I'm right here.
GM: They have a force-field protecting them from the Warp...
Cassius: And they don't have a force-field protecting them from me.

Of all the places the jump can take us, we arrive in one of the Fringe's Forbidden Systems, where automated defenses pause in their endless bombardment of the planet below, in order to tell us to fuck right off.

Auto-systems: This system is under Inquisitorial quarantine.
Jrska:
Cassius:
Auto-systems: Leave immediately or be labelled heretics.
Jrska: *Snicker*

We bluff the battle stations into thinking we need to pause here for repairs, and determine which of the crew we need to cull. Fairly standard practise, even more so on Imperial vessels.

Cassius: Blood doesn't make a good lubricant.
Jrska: It does for Khornate war engines.

We demand an situation report from the stations, and press on. The next destination is even more fraught - a system where an entire fleet of Loyalist space marines are currently gathering. It's the Millennial Wardens (a fleet-based chapter Weldun invented and played in the Deathwatch campaign, although he's playing a renegade Storm Crow in this one) who are scholarly, highly intelligent, and even worse for us, regularly work alongside the real Inquisition.

Cassius: The Storm Crows are a fleet-based chapter with incredibly bad luck. Wherever they go there's a disaster.
Cog: Sounds like us.
Cassius: *glares* Not that they respond to disasters, they just happen wherever they go.
Cog: Again, sounds like us.

GM: A space marine's voice comes over the box. You all know what that sounds like.
Jrska: I've been taking Cassius' orders long enough. Although generally there is more shouting involved.

The Wardens are politely forceful - their scans of the Chains of Judgement have revealed no blatantly Chaotic features - continent-blasting weapons powered by tortured kittens, that sort of thing - but they do recognise the alien origin of our chameleonic hull. They quite want a closer look and demonstration. Cassius and Jrska hasten to find some reason to keep them from coming aboard, so they won't discover the mutant crew, or little things like the temple-slash-bondage-dungeon Jrska built in the chapel. Eventually she convinces the increasingly suspicious marines that it's for their own safety.

Jrska: You are Space Marines, and we are reluctant to expose you to possible corruption. Unlike our own acolytes, who are by definition expendable.

Arch-Magos 'Father': They are being exceptionally inquisitive.
Jrska: More so than us, and we've got the inquisition ship .

But Jrska's talented tongue persuades them to limit their study of the hull to the outside of the hull, as well as offering us resupply of food, fuel and volatiles, which was becoming a problem.

Jrska: Wow. Talk about Refuge in Audacity - a shipful of mutants, cultists and traitors, turns up to a space marine fleet and says 'right, give us stuff'

The Millennial Wardens take the pursuit of knowledge very seriously - in their Hall of Ancients, they consult the chapter's many Dreadnoughts for advice on past events and future strategy.

Dreadnought: Today's lecture will be about the Assault on Garrus VII.
Marine: Sir? I have always thought the official account of that assault was exaggerated.
Dreadnought: THUMP. I WAS THERE. Do you dare argue with me?

The Marines are persuaded to send us an up-to-date starmap, too. Where to next? A Shrine World dedicated to one or more of the Imperium's innumerable saints has a certain appeal.

Jrska: I'm going to re-read one of my favourite books - 'The Lives of the Saints'. I find it very inspirational. Look at this one for example - 'Flayed alive with a belt sander'. See what I mean?

Jrska: I've got very fond memories of shrine worlds. One of my best outfits was made by some nuns on a shrine world. Sorry, I misspoke - made *out of* some nuns on a shrine world.
Cassius: *sigh*

Plus, there's the claim that the Sisters of Battle have never ever fallen to Chaos, which is a challenge to our ingenuity and evil.

Cassius: Maybe you can find some Sisters Repentia and teach them they have nothing to repent.

Jrska: Let's demand 600 of their most pious warriors.
Cassius: Let's not. No more treats for you until you're finished the tasks at hand.

Eventually we decide that turning up at one of the temples of seclusion, where such battle-nuns retreat when dealing with crises of faith, and posing as suspicious Inquisitors, will be an ideal way to seed corruption across the entire planet. Hie thee to a nunnery!

"You can never have too much dynamite."
 
"On the contrary, there are times when you can have too much dynamite."
 
"Like when?"
 
"When you are on fire."

"Victor Vector gets punched so hard in the face that the player starts bleeding." Then we looked over and the player was indeed bleeding from his face. 

I brought pie to work for the second shift to celebrate Pi Day (3-14).  In response one employee asked:
"So, you gonna bring us hookers on Hump Day too?!"

Inkubus OoC: We still have to figure out how we met.
Felix OoC: Craigslist.
Inkubus OoC: I probably used my usual trick - turned up with a really expensive bottle of wine.

Inkubus: Felix and I both like the good things in life
Titus: It's your only good point
Inkubus: I like all the debased things in life too. I just like life

On Inkubus' ability to solve every problem with his 'charisma'

Inkubus: When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
Felix: 'the hammer is my penis'?

Anyway, regarding the latest job, getting the band back together. Specifically, the Elementals, back to their recording company. This we achieved by convincing them Shadowrunners were after them, staging a raid on our home, and dragging their unconscious behinds off to one of our hideouts.

We then reinforced this 'ransoming' them back to their company, thus making the company look good, and the band unlikely to try going independent again in future. Just a little bonus for our employer - it's little touches like that that ensure repeat business.

Inkubus: Not bad for having a concussion grenade go off between my legs.
Titus: How are the plums, anyway?

In fact, the client is so impressed he immediately offers us extra work - in order to promote the Elemental's latest album, they were going to be filming a music tri-vid. Of course, the band doing a runner wrecked the schedule, which is extremely inconvenient, since they were going to be filming outside Seattle's border in Salish-Shidhe (one of the Native American States) and the permit to do so has now expired. Perhaps our team can escort the band and film crew across anyway, so they can get the filming done anyway without anyone noticing?

Inkubus: I wonder where they want to film that's so important
Inkubus: Mt Rainier?Felix: Mt. Rainier? That's an active volcano isn't it?
Inkubus: We better not be filming there.
Felix: Wouldn't surprise me - they are the Elementals.

Felix: Bloody artistic integrity - can't they find a forest this side of the border to film in?

A major challenge, given half the team were the ones that 'kidnapped' them the day before. This new mission will need some thought before we accept - even though Labrat actually has dual citizenship of Seattle and Salish-Shidhe, we're going to need bribe money at the very least.

Greenlight: We're going to need extra money for this - one of us has already taken a stun grenade to the balls tonight.

GM: He's willing to let you keep the any vehicles and materiel you require.
Felix: 'We require a nuclear submarine.'

Inkubus: We'll use a novel technique to get past the border patrol - the truth. 'We HAD a permit, and these pricks went and run off to do their own thing - you know artistic types - and by the time we got them back the visa expired.'
Felix: 'and THIS prick insists on artistic integrity, so we have to film in your forest'.

Greenlight: Get your Inkubus Action Figure!
Felix: With Realistic Hip Thrusting Action!
Greenlight: Irrational Hatred of Scarves!
Felix: Dressed like a Chippendale Dancer!

Thus back to Titus' hide-out - the one with the sealed-up windows, sunlamps, and indoor farm. Of vegetables and chickens, not weed, since real food is rather more desirable than drugs these days. It also has something new - a vampiric assassin, who drops on us from the ceiling, spraying magic and automatic gunfire with gay abandon.

Inkubus OoC: Fangs for the Memories! One Shadowrunner! Two Shadowrunners! Three Shadowrunners! HAHAHAHA

FelixOoC: I wonder who we pissed off so much that they sent a vampire after us.

Despite the fact we outnumber him severely, the vampire is a formidable opponent. Even the fact that the entire team consists of mages and adepts didn't given him reason to pause.

Felix OoC: So six of us vs. one guy is a worse fight than us vs. several hundred bikers.
Inkubus OoC: Yup. Conservation of ninjitsu - 'hey, they only sent one ninja! ..... We're boned.'

Felix calls up a bound Earth Elemental, before being gunned down ( good thing he bought that very very expensive bulletproof coat ).

Labrat: So a big orange rocky thing has appeared, saying 'It's clobbering time!'?

Actually, no - the elemental itself is badly outclassed. Especially since the vampire can go to mist form and still cast magic. It's only Titus' desperate swing with his sledgehammer that saves us, since even in mist form, carriers of the vampire virus are still violently allergic to wood.

Labrat: We have wood for vampire

Greenlight manages to disarm and stun the bastard with a shock baton, and we tie him to a wooden chair for magical interrogation. We haven't figured out the allergy thing yet, but once we notice the haemorrhaging hit points we realise we'd better hurry. Since we don't dare risk untying him, either. Inkubus gets to work, telepathically ripping out the vampire's banking details, safety deposit box numbers, and anything else we can use. Such as the information that he was trying to kill us, as a favour for his friend Eclipse - the music exec that hired us.

Inkubus: Jeez, I know they say the music industry is a bunch of bloodsuckers, I didn't think they meant it literally.

We are more than slightly pissed off - after going to all that trouble to make the exec look good, being assassinated as loose ends is a bit aggravating. Naturally, we intend to reciprocate.

Inkubus: We'll send him a photo of his assassin tied to a chair
Greenlight: With a caption - See You Soon

Labrat: I'll include a musical sting 'nana nana, nana nana, hey hey hey, goodbye'

To add insult to injury, we'll 'rescue' that band and help them go independent.

Inkubus: We're going to rescue them. I 'hired' the very Shadowrunners that kidnapped them in the first place
Felix: Schlock Mercenary -
All: WE GET PAID TWICE
Inkubus: Do the happy dance, Tagon!

Labrat finishes off the dying assassin in a manner that would make Cronenberg or Kurosawa proud.

Greenlight: Jesus Christ, Labrat, what the fuck?!?! I thought you were going to cut his throat, not cut his fucking head off! Are you fucking Yakuza!?!

Hopefully, nobody will catch HMHVV from all the blood that sprays around.

So, time for revenge - Inkubus and Felix will set up shop a few kilometres away with telescopes, where they can overlook the exec's penthouse apartment in an otherwise empty ten-storey block. Line-of-sight magic is so damn useful. Labrat and Greenlight will go up the inside of the building, working their way past any security. Titus and Warhammer will climb up the outside. Then, when we're all in position, we send the 'Seeing You Soon' gif to the target and each other, to scare the execs shitless and then render him lifeless while he's panicking.

Greenlight: This is a military-grade lock. I've only heard of these things in a theoretical 'zine. This might actually be a challenge.
Labrat: *ClickclickclickPOP* Or not.

As it happens, our elaborate efforts are wasted - he's not home. His giant salamander fire elemental is.

Felix: He's got a fucking pet crocodile!

There's a naga too, hiding in the teepee/medicine lodge set up in one of the rooms, but after he sees what happens to the salamander he surrenders without a fight. At least this explains how the exec knew where to send the vampire - he's a magician. And according to certain notes on his computer, found while the team is busy ransacking the place, he's intending to use the band to awaken an ancient and probably evil spirit called Twilight.

Greenlight: Eclipse? Twilight?
Inkubus: Noooooooo! The Sparkles! The Sparkles!
Felix: And their video director is Lupus.
Inkubus: Damn you Stephanie Meyers!

It's also a full moon. But at least this explains why he tried to have us killed - we were rather more important loose ends than we thought.

GM: Who enters the teepee first?
All: *point at the troll*

Kaa, the Naga, happily comes with us. He should find the sunlamps and pond at Titus' hide-out quite comfortable. Such are the drawbacks of using intelligent creatures as your slaves - they tend to resent it.

Titus: Kaa... Which is... Ukrainian for Penis?
All: *give Titus a Look*

Inkubus: Hang about, I've got the badge - Nagas Are People Too

Just prior to setting the apartment on fire and blaming the salamander, one last ransacking for anything valuable, anything magical, anything that should be given to the band, and anything we can use for a long distance magical attack on the exec. Hair and fingernail clippings would be good.

Felix: Did you check the drain in his shower?
Greenlight: I was afraid to touch it
Labrat: He was afraid it would become sentient and attack him.

So off on a cross-border roadtrip, to stop a major ritual, kill a backstabbing exec, liberate a band, and avoid whatever werewolves, snipers, and other protections Eclipse has arranged. There's no point telling the authorities - even if they believed us it would take too long for them to get off their collective asses.
 

Maxim 1 - Pillage, then burn.,
It's not surprising that the Maxims work well for Shadowrun.

Inkubus OoC: We still have to figure out how we met.
Felix OoC: Craigslist.
Inkubus OoC: I probably used my usual trick - turned up with a really expensive bottle of wine.

Inkubus: Felix and I both like the good things in life
Titus: It's your only good point
Inkubus: I like all the debased things in life too. I just like life

On Inkubus' ability to solve every problem with his 'charisma'

Inkubus: When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
Felix: 'the hammer is my penis'?

Anyway, regarding the latest job, getting the band back together. Specifically, the Elementals, back to their recording company. This we achieved by convincing them Shadowrunners were after them, staging a raid on our home, and dragging their unconscious behinds off to one of our hideouts.

We then reinforced this 'ransoming' them back to their company, thus making the company look good, and the band unlikely to try going independent again in future. Just a little bonus for our employer - it's little touches like that that ensure repeat business.

Inkubus: Not bad for having a concussion grenade go off between my legs.
Titus: How are the plums, anyway?

In fact, the client is so impressed he immediately offers us extra work - in order to promote the Elemental's latest album, they were going to be filming a music tri-vid. Of course, the band doing a runner wrecked the schedule, which is extremely inconvenient, since they were going to be filming outside Seattle's border in Salish-Shidhe (one of the Native American States) and the permit to do so has now expired. Perhaps our team can escort the band and film crew across anyway, so they can get the filming done anyway without anyone noticing?

Inkubus: I wonder where they want to film that's so important
Inkubus: Mt Rainier?Felix: Mt. Rainier? That's an active volcano isn't it?
Inkubus: We better not be filming there.
Felix: Wouldn't surprise me - they are the Elementals.

Felix: Bloody artistic integrity - can't they find a forest this side of the border to film in?

A major challenge, given half the team were the ones that 'kidnapped' them the day before. This new mission will need some thought before we accept - even though Labrat actually has dual citizenship of Seattle and Salish-Shidhe, we're going to need bribe money at the very least.

Greenlight: We're going to need extra money for this - one of us has already taken a stun grenade to the balls tonight.

GM: He's willing to let you keep the any vehicles and materiel you require.
Felix: 'We require a nuclear submarine.'

Inkubus: We'll use a novel technique to get past the border patrol - the truth. 'We HAD a permit, and these pricks went and run off to do their own thing - you know artistic types - and by the time we got them back the visa expired.'
Felix: 'and THIS prick insists on artistic integrity, so we have to film in your forest'.

Greenlight: Get your Inkubus Action Figure!
Felix: With Realistic Hip Thrusting Action!
Greenlight: Irrational Hatred of Scarves!
Felix: Dressed like a Chippendale Dancer!

Thus back to Titus' hide-out - the one with the sealed-up windows, sunlamps, and indoor farm. Of vegetables and chickens, not weed, since real food is rather more desirable than drugs these days. It also has something new - a vampiric assassin, who drops on us from the ceiling, spraying magic and automatic gunfire with gay abandon.

Inkubus OoC: Fangs for the Memories! One Shadowrunner! Two Shadowrunners! Three Shadowrunners! HAHAHAHA

FelixOoC: I wonder who we pissed off so much that they sent a vampire after us.

Despite the fact we outnumber him severely, the vampire is a formidable opponent. Even the fact that the entire team consists of mages and adepts didn't given him reason to pause.

Felix OoC: So six of us vs. one guy is a worse fight than us vs. several hundred bikers.
Inkubus OoC: Yup. Conservation of ninjitsu - 'hey, they only sent one ninja! ..... We're boned.'

Felix calls up a bound Earth Elemental, before being gunned down ( good thing he bought that very very expensive bulletproof coat ).

Labrat: So a big orange rocky thing has appeared, saying 'It's clobbering time!'?

Actually, no - the elemental itself is badly outclassed. Especially since the vampire can go to mist form and still cast magic. It's only Titus' desperate swing with his sledgehammer that saves us, since even in mist form, carriers of the vampire virus are still violently allergic to wood.

Labrat: We have wood for vampire

Greenlight manages to disarm and stun the bastard with a shock baton, and we tie him to a wooden chair for magical interrogation. We haven't figured out the allergy thing yet, but once we notice the haemorrhaging hit points we realise we'd better hurry. Since we don't dare risk untying him, either. Inkubus gets to work, telepathically ripping out the vampire's banking details, safety deposit box numbers, and anything else we can use. Such as the information that he was trying to kill us, as a favour for his friend Eclipse - the music exec that hired us.

Inkubus: Jeez, I know they say the music industry is a bunch of bloodsuckers, I didn't think they meant it literally.

We are more than slightly pissed off - after going to all that trouble to make the exec look good, being assassinated as loose ends is a bit aggravating. Naturally, we intend to reciprocate.

Inkubus: We'll send him a photo of his assassin tied to a chair
Greenlight: With a caption - See You Soon

Labrat: I'll include a musical sting 'nana nana, nana nana, hey hey hey, goodbye'

To add insult to injury, we'll 'rescue' that band and help them go independent.

Inkubus: We're going to rescue them. I 'hired' the very Shadowrunners that kidnapped them in the first place
Felix: Schlock Mercenary -
All: WE GET PAID TWICE
Inkubus: Do the happy dance, Tagon!

Labrat finishes off the dying assassin in a manner that would make Cronenberg or Kurosawa proud.

Greenlight: Jesus Christ, Labrat, what the fuck?!?! I thought you were going to cut his throat, not cut his fucking head off! Are you fucking Yakuza!?!

Hopefully, nobody will catch HMHVV from all the blood that sprays around.

So, time for revenge - Inkubus and Felix will set up shop a few kilometres away with telescopes, where they can overlook the exec's penthouse apartment in an otherwise empty ten-storey block. Line-of-sight magic is so damn useful. Labrat and Greenlight will go up the inside of the building, working their way past any security. Titus and Warhammer will climb up the outside. Then, when we're all in position, we send the 'Seeing You Soon' gif to the target and each other, to scare the execs shitless and then render him lifeless while he's panicking.

Greenlight: This is a military-grade lock. I've only heard of these things in a theoretical 'zine. This might actually be a challenge.
Labrat: *ClickclickclickPOP* Or not.

As it happens, our elaborate efforts are wasted - he's not home. His giant salamander fire elemental is.

Felix: He's got a fucking pet crocodile!

There's a naga too, hiding in the teepee/medicine lodge set up in one of the rooms, but after he sees what happens to the salamander he surrenders without a fight. At least this explains how the exec knew where to send the vampire - he's a magician. And according to certain notes on his computer, found while the team is busy ransacking the place, he's intending to use the band to awaken an ancient and probably evil spirit called Twilight.

Greenlight: Eclipse? Twilight?
Inkubus: Noooooooo! The Sparkles! The Sparkles!
Felix: And their video director is Lupus.
Inkubus: Damn you Stephanie Meyers!

It's also a full moon. But at least this explains why he tried to have us killed - we were rather more important loose ends than we thought.

GM: Who enters the teepee first?
All: *point at the troll*

Kaa, the Naga, happily comes with us. He should find the sunlamps and pond at Titus' hide-out quite comfortable. Such are the drawbacks of using intelligent creatures as your slaves - they tend to resent it.

Titus: Kaa... Which is... Ukrainian for Penis?
All: *give Titus a Look*

Inkubus: Hang about, I've got the badge - Nagas Are People Too

Just prior to setting the apartment on fire and blaming the salamander, one last ransacking for anything valuable, anything magical, anything that should be given to the band, and anything we can use for a long distance magical attack on the exec. Hair and fingernail clippings would be good.

Felix: Did you check the drain in his shower?
Greenlight: I was afraid to touch it
Labrat: He was afraid it would become sentient and attack him.

So off on a cross-border roadtrip, to stop a major ritual, kill a backstabbing exec, liberate a band, and avoid whatever werewolves, snipers, and other protections Eclipse has arranged. There's no point telling the authorities - even if they believed us it would take too long for them to get off their collective asses.
 

Inkubus OoC: We still have to figure out how we met.
Felix OoC: Craigslist.
Inkubus OoC: I probably used my usual trick - turned up with a really expensive bottle of wine.

Inkubus: Felix and I both like the good things in life
Titus: It's your only good point
Inkubus: I like all the debased things in life too. I just like life

On Inkubus' ability to solve every problem with his 'charisma'

Inkubus: When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
Felix: 'the hammer is my penis'?

Anyway, regarding the latest job, getting the band back together. Specifically, the Elementals, back to their recording company. This we achieved by convincing them Shadowrunners were after them, staging a raid on our home, and dragging their unconscious behinds off to one of our hideouts.

We then reinforced this 'ransoming' them back to their company, thus making the company look good, and the band unlikely to try going independent again in future. Just a little bonus for our employer - it's little touches like that that ensure repeat business.

Inkubus: Not bad for having a concussion grenade go off between my legs.
Titus: How are the plums, anyway?

In fact, the client is so impressed he immediately offers us extra work - in order to promote the Elemental's latest album, they were going to be filming a music tri-vid. Of course, the band doing a runner wrecked the schedule, which is extremely inconvenient, since they were going to be filming outside Seattle's border in Salish-Shidhe (one of the Native American States) and the permit to do so has now expired. Perhaps our team can escort the band and film crew across anyway, so they can get the filming done anyway without anyone noticing?

Inkubus: I wonder where they want to film that's so important
Inkubus: Mt Rainier?Felix: Mt. Rainier? That's an active volcano isn't it?
Inkubus: We better not be filming there.
Felix: Wouldn't surprise me - they are the Elementals.

Felix: Bloody artistic integrity - can't they find a forest this side of the border to film in?

A major challenge, given half the team were the ones that 'kidnapped' them the day before. This new mission will need some thought before we accept - even though Labrat actually has dual citizenship of Seattle and Salish-Shidhe, we're going to need bribe money at the very least.

Greenlight: We're going to need extra money for this - one of us has already taken a stun grenade to the balls tonight.

GM: He's willing to let you keep the any vehicles and materiel you require.
Felix: 'We require a nuclear submarine.'

Inkubus: We'll use a novel technique to get past the border patrol - the truth. 'We HAD a permit, and these pricks went and run off to do their own thing - you know artistic types - and by the time we got them back the visa expired.'
Felix: 'and THIS prick insists on artistic integrity, so we have to film in your forest'.

Greenlight: Get your Inkubus Action Figure!
Felix: With Realistic Hip Thrusting Action!
Greenlight: Irrational Hatred of Scarves!
Felix: Dressed like a Chippendale Dancer!

Thus back to Titus' hide-out - the one with the sealed-up windows, sunlamps, and indoor farm. Of vegetables and chickens, not weed, since real food is rather more desirable than drugs these days. It also has something new - a vampiric assassin, who drops on us from the ceiling, spraying magic and automatic gunfire with gay abandon.

Inkubus OoC: Fangs for the Memories! One Shadowrunner! Two Shadowrunners! Three Shadowrunners! HAHAHAHA

FelixOoC: I wonder who we pissed off so much that they sent a vampire after us.

Despite the fact we outnumber him severely, the vampire is a formidable opponent. Even the fact that the entire team consists of mages and adepts didn't given him reason to pause.

Felix OoC: So six of us vs. one guy is a worse fight than us vs. several hundred bikers.
Inkubus OoC: Yup. Conservation of ninjitsu - 'hey, they only sent one ninja! ..... We're boned.'

Felix calls up a bound Earth Elemental, before being gunned down ( good thing he bought that very very expensive bulletproof coat ).

Labrat: So a big orange rocky thing has appeared, saying 'It's clobbering time!'?

Actually, no - the elemental itself is badly outclassed. Especially since the vampire can go to mist form and still cast magic. It's only Titus' desperate swing with his sledgehammer that saves us, since even in mist form, carriers of the vampire virus are still violently allergic to wood.

Labrat: We have wood for vampire

Greenlight manages to disarm and stun the bastard with a shock baton, and we tie him to a wooden chair for magical interrogation. We haven't figured out the allergy thing yet, but once we notice the haemorrhaging hit points we realise we'd better hurry. Since we don't dare risk untying him, either. Inkubus gets to work, telepathically ripping out the vampire's banking details, safety deposit box numbers, and anything else we can use. Such as the information that he was trying to kill us, as a favour for his friend Eclipse - the music exec that hired us.

Inkubus: Jeez, I know they say the music industry is a bunch of bloodsuckers, I didn't think they meant it literally.

We are more than slightly pissed off - after going to all that trouble to make the exec look good, being assassinated as loose ends is a bit aggravating. Naturally, we intend to reciprocate.

Inkubus: We'll send him a photo of his assassin tied to a chair
Greenlight: With a caption - See You Soon

Labrat: I'll include a musical sting 'nana nana, nana nana, hey hey hey, goodbye'

To add insult to injury, we'll 'rescue' that band and help them go independent.

Inkubus: We're going to rescue them. I 'hired' the very Shadowrunners that kidnapped them in the first place
Felix: Schlock Mercenary -
All: WE GET PAID TWICE
Inkubus: Do the happy dance, Tagon!

Labrat finishes off the dying assassin in a manner that would make Cronenberg or Kurosawa proud.

Greenlight: Jesus Christ, Labrat, what the fuck?!?! I thought you were going to cut his throat, not cut his fucking head off! Are you fucking Yakuza!?!

Hopefully, nobody will catch HMHVV from all the blood that sprays around.

So, time for revenge - Inkubus and Felix will set up shop a few kilometres away with telescopes, where they can overlook the exec's penthouse apartment in an otherwise empty ten-storey block. Line-of-sight magic is so damn useful. Labrat and Greenlight will go up the inside of the building, working their way past any security. Titus and Warhammer will climb up the outside. Then, when we're all in position, we send the 'Seeing You Soon' gif to the target and each other, to scare the execs shitless and then render him lifeless while he's panicking.

Greenlight: This is a military-grade lock. I've only heard of these things in a theoretical 'zine. This might actually be a challenge.
Labrat: *ClickclickclickPOP* Or not.

As it happens, our elaborate efforts are wasted - he's not home. His giant salamander fire elemental is.

Felix: He's got a fucking pet crocodile!

There's a naga too, hiding in the teepee/medicine lodge set up in one of the rooms, but after he sees what happens to the salamander he surrenders without a fight. At least this explains how the exec knew where to send the vampire - he's a magician. And according to certain notes on his computer, found while the team is busy ransacking the place, he's intending to use the band to awaken an ancient and probably evil spirit called Twilight.

Greenlight: Eclipse? Twilight?
Inkubus: Noooooooo! The Sparkles! The Sparkles!
Felix: And their video director is Lupus.
Inkubus: Damn you Stephanie Meyers!

It's also a full moon. But at least this explains why he tried to have us killed - we were rather more important loose ends than we thought.

GM: Who enters the teepee first?
All: *point at the troll*

Kaa, the Naga, happily comes with us. He should find the sunlamps and pond at Titus' hide-out quite comfortable. Such are the drawbacks of using intelligent creatures as your slaves - they tend to resent it.

Titus: Kaa... Which is... Ukrainian for Penis?
All: *give Titus a Look*

Inkubus: Hang about, I've got the badge - Nagas Are People Too

Just prior to setting the apartment on fire and blaming the salamander, one last ransacking for anything valuable, anything magical, anything that should be given to the band, and anything we can use for a long distance magical attack on the exec. Hair and fingernail clippings would be good.

Felix: Did you check the drain in his shower?
Greenlight: I was afraid to touch it
Labrat: He was afraid it would become sentient and attack him.

So off on a cross-border roadtrip, to stop a major ritual, kill a backstabbing exec, liberate a band, and avoid whatever werewolves, snipers, and other protections Eclipse has arranged. There's no point telling the authorities - even if they believed us it would take too long for them to get off their collective asses.
 

The plan : help that Imperial starship out of the Vortex, so they'll unwittingly feed information back to the forces of Chaos - i.e. Us.

Doing so, however, means using the Thirteenth Station, the only safe route in and out of the Screaming Vortex, and even then most Chaos ships sacrifice a few hundred slaves before they dare. Over the centuries, the frozen corpses have become something of a nuisance. The blockade fleet that patrols this side of the Warpgate is a nuisance as well.

Aladar: So what am I flying and what am I shooting?
Cog: You're not flying anything.
Jrska OoC: And you're not shooting anything because Jrska cut your balls off.

Cassius' ploy - Lure the fleet away from the gate, while our new 'friends' sneak past, silent running. We'll be towing the hulk of that raider ship we shot up too, so the prospect of an apparently Inquisitorial ship, with something no-doubt valuable in tow, should be irresistible.

Of course, we also have to repair the Imperial ship, strip the raider, and pull off our stunt, without anybody , including our own mix of mutant and deluded Emperor-worshipping crew, figuring out what we're actually doing. Tricky, given Cassius' winged mutation, disturbing psychic aura, and the need to work closely with the naive Imperial captain.

Jrska: Not as disturbing as me. And then there's the drooling noises whenever the captain is around and I'm there.

At least Jrska has something to distract her - brainwashing that Space Marine Dreadnought.

Cassius: I gave Jrska a challenge - break someone who is immune to sensation.
Jrska: That's OK, I'm watching chick flicks with him. Non-stop. For days on end.

Cassius: Jrska - I want you to select the prize crew for the raider. I want them competent, and loyal. A proportion of them are allowed to be worshippers of Slaanesh.
Jrska: ... 100% is a proportion...
Cassius: Not more than 1 in 10

Aladar van Rijn attempts to make himself useful, by getting some neural upgrades from the ships' Magos-engineer. He phrases it in a way that would make Slaanesh proud.

Aladar: I'm plugging myself into Father.
All: ....

He remains useless. The opening move of the Cassius Gambit nearly stalls the engine and almost tears the hulk free of its tow chains.

Aladar: Why are there four pedals when there are six directions?
Cassius: Why do you insist on flying the ship when you're no good at it?

Happily, the rest of us can offset Aladar's failings, by intimidating, cajoling, and exhorting the crew into working harder.

Aladar: Why do you keep calling it extorting the crew?
Jrska: Because I'm making them do stuff

Even then, there are limits to what we can achieve, even as we run rings around the blockade's formidable raiders, and start earning the attention of the hulking and extremely formidable cruisers.

Jrska: No matter how fast I beat the drum, they're not going to turn the ship any faster.

Aladar: The engines cannae take it, Captain!
Cassius: You weren't raised by the Adeptus Mechanicus - you don't know that ancient prayer

But it works ( apparently Aladar can remember how to pilot a ship if Cassius threatens to flay him alive ) and the Chains of Judgement retreats into the Vortex, and that delectable captain and her ship make a successful dash for the Thirteenth Station. No doubt the blockade's admiral will carry out a few disciplinary executions.

Back to Jrska's brother's lair in the Ragged Helix, where we discover that some of his supposedly loyal minions attempted a coup. There's considerable damage, but at least the traitors were driven off. Cassius is annoyed by this evidence of Chaos' unreliability.

Cassius: I make a point of not screwing people over until they've screwed me.
Jrska: ... Interesting phrasing, my lord.

Some of the survivors suspect it was Jrska's arrival that prompted the coup - a more important question is who egged it on? Leading suspects include Seyr the Bereft, who we acquired that Tyrant's Cord for months ago, and Gray the Mercenary.

Cassius: I don't buy it. Gray has always been like me, an honourable -
Jrska: So he was acting out of character, my lord?
Cassius: ...True.
Aladar: You think he was mind-controlled?
Jrska: No. I'm implying that his persona of an honourable mercenary may be just that - a persona.

Cassius: For some reason you're earning more infamy than me, and I don't know why.
Jrska: Perhaps it was the thing with the penguin, my lord.

But there we had to leave it for the session, after helping with the clean-up and acquiring a few more shiny things from the piles of wreckage. We still have to get more weapons built into the Chains, too. Perhaps something powered by that vault-full of tortured human souls?

The plan : help that Imperial starship out of the Vortex, so they'll unwittingly feed information back to the forces of Chaos - i.e. Us.

Doing so, however, means using the Thirteenth Station, the only safe route in and out of the Screaming Vortex, and even then most Chaos ships sacrifice a few hundred slaves before they dare. Over the centuries, the frozen corpses have become something of a nuisance. The blockade fleet that patrols this side of the Warpgate is a nuisance as well.

Aladar: So what am I flying and what am I shooting?
Cog: You're not flying anything.
Jrska OoC: And you're not shooting anything because Jrska cut your balls off.

Cassius' ploy - Lure the fleet away from the gate, while our new 'friends' sneak past, silent running. We'll be towing the hulk of that raider ship we shot up too, so the prospect of an apparently Inquisitorial ship, with something no-doubt valuable in tow, should be irresistible.

Of course, we also have to repair the Imperial ship, strip the raider, and pull off our stunt, without anybody , including our own mix of mutant and deluded Emperor-worshipping crew, figuring out what we're actually doing. Tricky, given Cassius' winged mutation, disturbing psychic aura, and the need to work closely with the naive Imperial captain.

Jrska: Not as disturbing as me. And then there's the drooling noises whenever the captain is around and I'm there.

At least Jrska has something to distract her - brainwashing that Space Marine Dreadnought.

Cassius: I gave Jrska a challenge - break someone who is immune to sensation.
Jrska: That's OK, I'm watching chick flicks with him. Non-stop. For days on end.

Cassius: Jrska - I want you to select the prize crew for the raider. I want them competent, and loyal. A proportion of them are allowed to be worshippers of Slaanesh.
Jrska: ... 100% is a proportion...
Cassius: Not more than 1 in 10

Aladar van Rijn attempts to make himself useful, by getting some neural upgrades from the ships' Magos-engineer. He phrases it in a way that would make Slaanesh proud.

Aladar: I'm plugging myself into Father.
All: ....

He remains useless. The opening move of the Cassius Gambit nearly stalls the engine and almost tears the hulk free of its tow chains.

Aladar: Why are there four pedals when there are six directions?
Cassius: Why do you insist on flying the ship when you're no good at it?

Happily, the rest of us can offset Aladar's failings, by intimidating, cajoling, and exhorting the crew into working harder.

Aladar: Why do you keep calling it extorting the crew?
Jrska: Because I'm making them do stuff

Even then, there are limits to what we can achieve, even as we run rings around the blockade's formidable raiders, and start earning the attention of the hulking and extremely formidable cruisers.

Jrska: No matter how fast I beat the drum, they're not going to turn the ship any faster.

Aladar: The engines cannae take it, Captain!
Cassius: You weren't raised by the Adeptus Mechanicus - you don't know that ancient prayer

But it works ( apparently Aladar can remember how to pilot a ship if Cassius threatens to flay him alive ) and the Chains of Judgement retreats into the Vortex, and that delectable captain and her ship make a successful dash for the Thirteenth Station. No doubt the blockade's admiral will carry out a few disciplinary executions.

Back to Jrska's brother's lair in the Ragged Helix, where we discover that some of his supposedly loyal minions attempted a coup. There's considerable damage, but at least the traitors were driven off. Cassius is annoyed by this evidence of Chaos' unreliability.

Cassius: I make a point of not screwing people over until they've screwed me.
Jrska: ... Interesting phrasing, my lord.

Some of the survivors suspect it was Jrska's arrival that prompted the coup - a more important question is who egged it on? Leading suspects include Seyr the Bereft, who we acquired that Tyrant's Cord for months ago, and Gray the Mercenary.

Cassius: I don't buy it. Gray has always been like me, an honourable -
Jrska: So he was acting out of character, my lord?
Cassius: ...True.
Aladar: You think he was mind-controlled?
Jrska: No. I'm implying that his persona of an honourable mercenary may be just that - a persona.

Cassius: For some reason you're earning more infamy than me, and I don't know why.
Jrska: Perhaps it was the thing with the penguin, my lord.

But there we had to leave it for the session, after helping with the clean-up and acquiring a few more shiny things from the piles of wreckage. We still have to get more weapons built into the Chains, too. Perhaps something powered by that vault-full of tortured human souls?

The plan : help that Imperial starship out of the Vortex, so they'll unwittingly feed information back to the forces of Chaos - i.e. Us.

Doing so, however, means using the Thirteenth Station, the only safe route in and out of the Screaming Vortex, and even then most Chaos ships sacrifice a few hundred slaves before they dare. Over the centuries, the frozen corpses have become something of a nuisance. The blockade fleet that patrols this side of the Warpgate is a nuisance as well.

Aladar: So what am I flying and what am I shooting?
Cog: You're not flying anything.
Jrska OoC: And you're not shooting anything because Jrska cut your balls off.

Cassius' ploy - Lure the fleet away from the gate, while our new 'friends' sneak past, silent running. We'll be towing the hulk of that raider ship we shot up too, so the prospect of an apparently Inquisitorial ship, with something no-doubt valuable in tow, should be irresistible.

Of course, we also have to repair the Imperial ship, strip the raider, and pull off our stunt, without anybody , including our own mix of mutant and deluded Emperor-worshipping crew, figuring out what we're actually doing. Tricky, given Cassius' winged mutation, disturbing psychic aura, and the need to work closely with the naive Imperial captain.

Jrska: Not as disturbing as me. And then there's the drooling noises whenever the captain is around and I'm there.

At least Jrska has something to distract her - brainwashing that Space Marine Dreadnought.

Cassius: I gave Jrska a challenge - break someone who is immune to sensation.
Jrska: That's OK, I'm watching chick flicks with him. Non-stop. For days on end.

Cassius: Jrska - I want you to select the prize crew for the raider. I want them competent, and loyal. A proportion of them are allowed to be worshippers of Slaanesh.
Jrska: ... 100% is a proportion...
Cassius: Not more than 1 in 10

Aladar van Rijn attempts to make himself useful, by getting some neural upgrades from the ships' Magos-engineer. He phrases it in a way that would make Slaanesh proud.

Aladar: I'm plugging myself into Father.
All: ....

He remains useless. The opening move of the Cassius Gambit nearly stalls the engine and almost tears the hulk free of its tow chains.

Aladar: Why are there four pedals when there are six directions?
Cassius: Why do you insist on flying the ship when you're no good at it?

Happily, the rest of us can offset Aladar's failings, by intimidating, cajoling, and exhorting the crew into working harder.

Aladar: Why do you keep calling it extorting the crew?
Jrska: Because I'm making them do stuff

Even then, there are limits to what we can achieve, even as we run rings around the blockade's formidable raiders, and start earning the attention of the hulking and extremely formidable cruisers.

Jrska: No matter how fast I beat the drum, they're not going to turn the ship any faster.

Aladar: The engines cannae take it, Captain!
Cassius: You weren't raised by the Adeptus Mechanicus - you don't know that ancient prayer

But it works ( apparently Aladar can remember how to pilot a ship if Cassius threatens to flay him alive ) and the Chains of Judgement retreats into the Vortex, and that delectable captain and her ship make a successful dash for the Thirteenth Station. No doubt the blockade's admiral will carry out a few disciplinary executions.

Back to Jrska's brother's lair in the Ragged Helix, where we discover that some of his supposedly loyal minions attempted a coup. There's considerable damage, but at least the traitors were driven off. Cassius is annoyed by this evidence of Chaos' unreliability.

Cassius: I make a point of not screwing people over until they've screwed me.
Jrska: ... Interesting phrasing, my lord.

Some of the survivors suspect it was Jrska's arrival that prompted the coup - a more important question is who egged it on? Leading suspects include Seyr the Bereft, who we acquired that Tyrant's Cord for months ago, and Gray the Mercenary.

Cassius: I don't buy it. Gray has always been like me, an honourable -
Jrska: So he was acting out of character, my lord?
Cassius: ...True.
Aladar: You think he was mind-controlled?
Jrska: No. I'm implying that his persona of an honourable mercenary may be just that - a persona.

Cassius: For some reason you're earning more infamy than me, and I don't know why.
Jrska: Perhaps it was the thing with the penguin, my lord.

But there we had to leave it for the session, after helping with the clean-up and acquiring a few more shiny things from the piles of wreckage. We still have to get more weapons built into the Chains, too. Perhaps something powered by that vault-full of tortured human souls?

Quotes from Owlcon - part I
 
Pulp Hero "The Fiendish Plan of Dr. Mephisto"
 
The Sentinels of Justice investigated the mysterious disappearance of a skyscraper.
 
GM: Theron
Dirk Morgan: a newspaper editor
Huan Ju Morgan: Dirk's Chinese adopted sister, a martial artist
Dr. Diogenes Sinclair: a jungle doctor
"Pat" Garrett: an Arizona cowgirl
Jeremiah "Sparks" McGee: a mad scientist
Eugene Bullard: a black American fighter pilot who fought in French Foreign Legion during the Great War
The Amazing Bosco Patterson: an acrobat and brawler
 
A 27 story skyscraper was under construction. Then it disappeared. All that remained was the foundation.
Dirk: "I could have sworn that I parked it right here."
 
Elmo, a homeless man, was the only witness.
Bosco: (to Elmo) "There's a drink in it for you."
Elmo: (slurring) "I don't touch the stuff."
Bosco: "You don't touch it ... but you will drink it."
 
The Sentinels of Justice were attacked by a group of mooks.
Huan Ju: (catching a mook's fist in her hand) "Denied."
 
Pat tried to climb a fire escape to reach a gunman. The fire escape wouldn't lower, which left her hanging from the bottom rung.
Pat: "Could you give me a boost?"
Sparks threw his wrench at the mechanism, freeing it and allowing the fire escape to deploy.
Sparks: "I used my science."
 
The Sentinels of Justice tracked Dr. Mephisto down to his dirigible. While Eugene flew the plane, the rest parachuted onto the top of the dirigible, then climbed down through the superstructure. When they were attacked by mooks, Pat lassoed one of them and pulled him so he was dangling by one leg.
Dr. Sinclair: Piñata time.
 
While the rest of the team climbed down through the superstructure, Eugene discovered that the dirigible had a "trapeze": a mechanism which allowed it to deploy and retrieve a small fighter plane. The Sentinels' seaplane had a hook, allowing it to make use of the trapeze. Even though the seaplane was too large for this trapeze, Eugene managed to catch the seaplane's hook on the trapeze, wedge the seaplane up into the dirigible's hangar, climb out of the seaplane, fight off two mooks and sneak onto the dirigible.
 
Eugene coincidentally entered the dirigible just as the rest of the group climbed down out of the superstructure.
Dr. Sinclair: (to Eugene) "It took you long enough."
Eugene: "I had a hard time finding a place to park."
Bosco: "Parking is hell in New York."
Eugene: "I nearly got towed."

Celebrating the successful dreamchip run with a dinner party at Felix and Inkubus' apartment

Greenlight: My mother was really big on Natural foods. But it's taken three years on nutrasoy for me to really appreciate her cooking.

Felix: hmm. Nutrasoy autocorrects to Nut Raspy
Greenlight: I don't think I've been eating that for three years

But what should be on the menu? A garden salad from the hydroponic garden, crumbed real pork cutlets for the main course, and so on.

Felix: We'll hit that grocery.
Inkubus: No.
Felix: Not in a criminal sense!

Felix: Something simple for dessert...
Inkubus: Strawberry mousse with whipped cream?
Felix: I think I saw some nutmeg at the store.

The drinks with each course are an important consideration, too. Inkubus selects one of his favorites - an import from one of the Elf nations, that's 500 NuYen a bottle.

Felix: The wine locker has a better lock than the apartment.

Indeed it does. Including palm-print recognition, and a level four maglock.

Warhammer: What do you do when you get drunk?
Felix: You do not get drunk on this wine.
Inkubus: This is for special occasions - if I want to get drunk I go out.

Felix: I do wonder what will happen the first time someone breaks in here and sees all the security is on the wine locker.

A wild job offer appears! Apparently some band are trying to run out on their recording contract. The company want them and their album back. This sounds like an ideal job for Inkubus, given his links to Seattle's entertainment scene. The Johnson wants to meet us at a stripper bar.

Felix: The Pink Pitbull?
Inkubus: Is that the one where I have to wear a chain and padlock as a belt?

Greenlight: I was hoping somebody would know the club.
Felix: Why is everybody looking at me?

Inkubus: I think the rest of the party might like some warning if it's a male strip joint.
GM: They're women
Inkubus: OK
Titus: But they're all trolls.

Inkubus eyes the almost pornographic neon displays outside, and tries to resist temptation, just like he tries to resist everything else.

Warhammer: Just walk it off, dude.
Inkubus: Hey, I've NEVER had to pay for it.

Inkubus: I don't think you can use Orgasm on yourself
Felix: If you could, you'll never go out
Inkubus: True

The decor at the Pink Pitbull leaves something to be desired

Greenlight: Jesus Christ, this is like the shattered dreams of a 50 year-old Barbie

Greenlight: I thought we were retrieving property, not people
Titus: You honestly think the corps make any distinction?

Staking out the private recording studio where the band are believed to be working,opposite a mall.

Inkubus: Redmond Morgue?
GM: Mall.
Inkubus: Ah, not morgue then.
Greenlight: Depends on the day.

Inkubus: It'll be just our luck that they're a former Shadowrun team.
Felix: Thank you for that exercise in pessimism

Felix: I'm fascinated to see just how badly this can go wrong. There's a certain morbid curiosity.
Warhammer: That's why I came along

The band are indeed there - and proceed to leave in four different directions. And we only had one radio tracking bug. We hurriedly split up in pursuit. Titus gets sent after Bambi, the band's troll drummer.

Warhammer: Troll on troll.
Felix: You might want to rephrase that.
Inkubus: People will pay a lot of money to see that. Ever had a troll roll? I recommend it.

At least we managed to track some of them home to their shops and apartments. Unfortunately, some of us also get spotted. By a bizarre coincidence, the band's lead singer lives only a few blocks away from Inkubus and Felix. This suggests a new ploy - rather than drag them back to their corporate masters, persuade them.

Titus: Fetch the charisma stick!
Greenlight: Hoist the Charisma Beam! Free hookers and beer here!
Warhammer: Hwah? Where's that beam?

Greenlight: 'I have pointed ears, therefore I have charisma.'
Felix: Just ask Spock.
Greenlight: *turns Vulcan salute into a one-fingered salute*

Inkubus turns up at Whispering Wind's door, with a bottle of extremely expensive booze, to talk to the young woman about independent recording contracts and promotional opportunities. While he's there, however, Bambi calls up with a somewhat frantic tale about how they were tailed back to their shop by Titus. W.W. naturally assumes Inkubus is part of the snatch team, and rolls a concussion grenade under his chair. Lurking on the street, the youth Greenlight hears the explosion and comes running.

Greenlight: That was quick. It usually takes longer than this.
Felix: And the worst thing? It'll shatter the bottle.

Greenlight: Are you alright in there? We heard a loud banging!
Felix: *snrk*

Inkubus modifies the plan on the fly - if they can't be persuaded, perhaps they can be scared back into the fold. He plays stunned but innocent. Greenlight, outside the door, might be one of the snatch team! Inkubus proceeds to scare Whispering Wind with stories about how scary shadowrunners can be - after all, he has material to work from.

Inkubus: Did you say somebody was trying to kidnap you? Do you think that might be one of them?

Felix: 'Those guys are all crazy! They'll stop at nothing! I heard they kidnapped some Hoillywood exec's girlfriend right from his yacht!'

Inkubus: That grenade was supposed to stop a shadowrunner? It didn't even stop me!

Titus: 'They could be anywhere! Shadowrunners are like ninjas!'
Warhammer: 'Except for the troll'

Inkubus: You need a safehouse - somewhere completely unconnected to you. Hey! I live a few blocks away! Just a minute, I'll need to call my flatmate and clear it with him.
Titus OoC: Beware a social character doing his job.

Felix: He's just talked them into hiding out at our apartment
Warhammer: .... F**k, he can spin some shit, can't he? That's why I do the shooting and he does the talking.

Greenlight dresses like a villain from one of the Shadowrun movies, and follows Inkubus and Whispering Wind down the street, until they 'lose' him. Of course, once the entire band has been gathered at the apartment, there's a chance of blowback if they ever do find out how they're been conned. Text messages are hurriedly exchanged. Warhammer, Felix, and Inkubus will be babysitting the band. Titus and Greenlight wait to launch their attack. Warhammer and Inkubus do their best to make the band rethink going independent, while Felix plays the sceptic.

Inkubus: I'll convince them it's our safe house - what sort of idiot would take you to their actual home?

Inkubus: You need to have more faith in me.
Greenlight: I heard an explosion!
Inkubus: If I need help I'll scream
Warhammer: You have to admit a grenade probably meant trouble 'Where the fuck did that come from?!'
Greenlight: 'That escalated quickly'

Inkubus: You know that gangwar? I heard Shadowrunners started that, just to get one guy.
Felix: Yeah, right. *rolls eyes*
Warhammer: Some of my ex-military buddies say there's been a lot of runner activity in the neighbourhood
Felix: Oh, not you too.

Felix: What tail? You were probably imagining things.
Inkubus: Yeah? Seeing the same troll in two places! Explain that!
Felix: How would you tell them apart?
Inkubus: ....
Felix: Sorry.
Inkubus: Excuse my friend, he's from down south.

Warhammer: The important thing is that you lost the tail.
*doorbell rings*
Felix: I'll get it.
Warhammer: Shouldn't you check the security cam first?
Felix: Why? It's probably the grocery boy anyway.
Inkubus: Oh no... Felix... I'm so sorry
Titus: *kicks door in*

Inkubus casts a mass Orgasm Spell while the band panics. Felix hits the floor, pretending to be affected, and Warhammer blazes away with automatic gel-round fire, which sounds very impressive, but is unlikely to actually hurt or even hit anybody. It still does, however.

Inkubus: You're not supposed to be *successfully* defending them
Greenlight: 'Sorry, I don't practise missing people'

Bambi grabs for his own weapon, in blind panic, and manages to empty the clip into the ceiling. Felix, hiding behind the furniture, bites his tongue and manages to choke down his fury at the property damage to his home.

Felix: Maybe we can spin this into a rent reduction

Titus 'punches Warhammer out', and Greenlight steps in, surveying the screaming, twitching bandmembers and hefting his own weapons.

Greenlight: Nice hit, Akuma. Are you going to come quietly?
Bambi: *still pulling the trigger of the empty gun* Click click click!
Greenlight: Thought so. *charges with shock-maul and gel-pistol*

Inkubus attempts to 'rescue' Whispering Wind

Inkubus: Come on! I'll get you out of here! *stunbolt*

Titus: Right, you lot. You have a choice. Stun-rod or Tranq Patch

Band unconscious and terrified out of their wits, the team considers their next move. Truck them across to Titus' hide-out, for a start. Inkubus magically interrogates the band for the whereabouts of the finished album - apparently they've hidden it in a book - and Felix suggests using the spell Catalogue to locate it, at each of the bandmember's apartments.

Inkubus: I knew I kept you around for something. More than your share of the rent.

Inkubus wants to stay with the band, still pretending to be a helpful bystander caught up in the mess.

Inkubus: You're going to have to rough me up.
Greenlight: *Gestures Inkubus closer, cracks knuckles.... and gets out the make-up kit.*

But what to tell the cops, if they show up?

Inkubus: I'll tell them a version of the truth. I was entertaining a young woman, and a troll burst in, shot up the roof...
Greenlight: ... Burst into tears...
Inkubus: ... And left.

Starcops: And what did this troll look like, sir?
Inkubus: Big!
Titus: Same problem the cops have every time they need to ID a troll

Starcops: And the young woman?
Inkubus: I'll give them a good description - that's an amalgamation of my last three dates.

Felix: Congratulations on that masterpiece of theatre.
Titus: What if they ever come to see you afterwards, and we're all here?
Inkubus: 'Ooh, this is awkward. Hi! I'm a bastard.'

Played my first game of Firestorm Armada this weekend. Was a close thing - my Aquan fleet eventually managed to take down the enemy flagship and kill their admiral, but not before they'd disabled mine, boarded it, and kidnapped my own fleet commander.
 
."We shall rescue our beloved leader! We shall not let him languish in the hands of those air-breathing human scum!"
"Hey! Humans serve on Aquan ships as well!"
"Aqualungs don't count - you're good humans. Do a trick and we'll throw you a sardine."

Their support has been withdrawn

"I'm sorry, but you're no longer an Ivy League school..."

Male. Female. Both. Neither. And 'other' of course too.

And of course Jrska doesn't object to female partners. I think this new chickie is in for a big old shock in the very near future.

I used to have this Shadow Run module. Lost it sometime during moving. I adapted it for my 4e Kaze 5 campaign. Players loved it and hated it. Especially when going after Ghengis Khan's chip, they ran into a biker gang being lead by a full Hard-Shell conversion calling himself Bone Crusher (who had the Khan chip).

Aboard the formerly-inquisitorial ship the Chains of Judgement, where there are many ways to occupy the long months of travel, and distract Jrska from the way Aladar isn't her slavishly devoted plaything anymore. We can search every inch of the ship for the Inquisitorial Rosette formerly worn by the Inquisitor that caught us, and who subsequent got turned into a deamonhost, reduced to ashes, and used as trade goods. True, it likely has built-in defences against misuse. But that shouldn't stop hereteks that aren't afraid of things like AIs, and quantum cryptography - let alone the kind of people who are unbowed by the laws of reality.

Jrska: I reject your reality and substitute my own

Jrska: Since Chaos has no interest in laws, including Child Labour Laws, let's go find some young children. They can fit in the small spaces. 'Put your hand in there kid. Don't worry about the hissing'

One possible hiding-place for the rosette is in the decks beneath the Reclamation chambers, where leftovers from the cyber-conversion process go.

Cassius: I'm thinking zombies.
GM: Just a minute, I want to make a note here...
Jrska: Did somebody just break Rule 1?

Eyeing the various bodies on the meathooks.

Jrska: Well, I like somebody who's well hung.

Cassius has plans for that space marine dreadnought we acquired. But it requires mentally breaking the occupant first.

Jrska: Pity you and your blood-brother's enhanced physiognomy includes drug resistance. I was thinking curare - imagine not being able to move, or even blink, and a nice full-length mirror overhead, while the tech-adepts perform surgery on your internal organs.
Cassius: You are aware that that is the kind of thing that happens to Dreadnoughts every day they aren't actually in combat?
Jrska: Yes. Like I said, it's a pity he's a space marine. We'll have to save it for some merely

Jrska's part-time minion, Adept E, is overseeing the usual operations on the reclamation unit.

Jrska: Wotcha, E. Vivisected anybody lately?
Adept E: No. Nobody has died. It has been very... Dull.
Cassius: Forgive me if I'm wrong, but doesn't vivisection mean you don't have to wait until they're dead?
Adept E: *cheers up*

It turns out that there are entire lost decks below, that are somehow being filtered out of the tech-priests' perception. No wonder they couldn't find the rosette down here.

GM: There's lots of reclamation tech down here, but none you're intimate with.
Jrska: Intimate with technology?
Cassius: Intimate with a reclamator.
Cog OoC: There's the tag-line for this episode
Jrska OoC: Cog! Stop humping that television!

The lights are still working down in the Black Holds, but Jrska ensures they have more.

Jrska: The more the merrier. I don't want to see a stone angel at the other end of the corridor, and the lights suddenly go out.

There's conveyor belts and automated rotary saws, grinding machines, and more, between the Reclamation deck and the furnaces. We, predictably, are on a metal gantry high over the churning machinery.

Jrska: Will this take our lord Cassius' weight?
GM: And the bolts snap, plunging you into the machinery below.

Cassius and his mutant advisor are promptly seized by the various amputator mechanisms and whisked off towards the furnaces. Cog and Aladar cling to the roof and plan a rescue attempt.

Cog: Did you bring your jetpack?
Aladar: I always bring the jetpack!

Jrska OoC: I really should have some witty line as I plummet here, but I've got nothing.
Cog OoC: I like going down on things but this is ridiculous?
Jrska OoC: ...
Cog OOC: It was the best I had.

Aladar: I sweep in to rescue Jrska.
Jrska: He still loves me!
Cassius: Not that he shows it often.

Hooked actuators and whirling bone saws hack away at Cassius and Jrska's armour, despite their efforts to get off the conveyer.

GM: You get the impression this conveyor was designed for people that weren't completely dead.

Cassius: Hit the off switch!
Jrska: What safety switch? This is the Imperium, they've never heard of safety. They don't even have safety rails.
Cassius: The 'oh my god-emperor the conveyer belt has gone mad, we're going to lose this entire quota of bodies, quick hit the off switch' switch.
Jrska: 'First, fill in this form'

Eventually Cassius loses patience and just blows the machinery apart with his bolt gun.

Cassius: Occasionally, brute force is the appropriate response.
Jrska: Isn't that the Imperium in spades?

Cog: Lord Cassius, I've shut all the trash compactors on the detention level.

Cassius: The damage and the fact I'm two bolt-rounds down is on your head.
Cog: At least I stayed upright.
Jrska: I take a few steps away from Cog.

Cog: What kind of adventuring party doesn't have rope?
Jrska: If you want a ten foot pole, then you should have brought a Slaanesh Marine.
Aladar: .... I just got that. Ew.

But there are still more corridors choked with churning machinery - no doubt there are off-switches, but it's likely that anybody who knew where there are has been dead for centuries. Aladar's ineptitude undoes most of Cog's efforts at getting past.

Cog: Stop helping!

Jrska: I can't charm the machinery out of the way. Pile-driving is a thing, but doesn't apply here.
Aladar: Oh god, now I'm picturing a Slaanesh tech-priest.
Cog: 'I'll give you an oil change'
Jrska: Lube job.

Cog: Who designed this?
Jrska: The Imperium. Occupational Health and Safety is heresy.
GM: The Imperium is good for death trap technology.
Cassius OoC: I keep flashing back to the chompers in ...
Jrska OoC: Galaxy Quest?
Cog OoC: 'Why do we even have this?'

Cog: I found a doohickey. What does it do?
Cassius: It do... Hickey.
Aladar: It's a kissing machine?

Cassius sends Jrska off to break the spirit of the dreadnought's barely living occupant.

Jrska: I'll take a picnic hamper and tell him all about my life. In excruciating detail.
Cassius: You know the best thing? I just got Jrska to try and seduce a corpse.
Jrska: *sings* Neeeeecrophilia.

The doohickey is a Stryxis personal phase reality shifter - very useful, since it makes the bearer effectively invisible. If she can break Cassius' former chapter-brother, Cassius has plans.

Cassius: Stealth Dreadnought!

Of course, why would the late inquisitor even have had foul Xenos technology on board in the first place? Clearly he was of a somewhat radical bent.

Jrska: Given the Navigator is a mutant and the Magos is a heretek, I'm detecting a theme here.

This hypocrisy just adds to Cassius' disgust with the Imperium. Happily, a chance arises to exercise this disgust - distress calls from an Imperial transport lost in the Screaming Vortex. The broadcast was unwise.

Jrska: A distress call is a good way to attract predators.
Cassius: It's also a good way to attract predators into a trap.

As it turns out, the transport has already attacked, disabled, and currently being boarded by reavers unallied to Jrska's brother. This makes both ships fair game, especially since we can sweep in in our erstwhile Inquisitorial ship, blow away the pirates, then 'rescue' the Imperials.

Jrska: We want to get close enough to wave at them through the portholes

On the respective dimensions of the three ships

GM: It's longer but thinner.
Jrska: I prefer longer and thicker.

The reavers must be rather distracted by their boarding action, since we close to point-blank range without trouble, and launch a missile broadside that devastates the completely unprepared reaver ship.

Aladar: Surprise, bitches!

Cassius orders us to come round, so we can send our own murder-servitors and mutants-at-arms to finish the raiders off, or at least force their surrender, prior to accepting the gratitude of the Imperials.

Aladar: Aw, I wanted to ram them
Jrska: Since when were you a top?

Consider the raiders, when they looked out the window and saw an Inquisitorial ship and a metric fuckton of missiles just off the starboard bow, followed by fires and decompression and murder-servitors.

Raid leader: Five minutes ago I was having such a wonderful day!

We also get a bonus - some hidden machine spirit in the Chains of Judgement's data systems has observed us coming to the rescue of an Imperial ship, apparently concluded that the Inquisition is still in control, and unlocked a hidden safe in the bridge - we have the Rosette! Which Cassius promptly dons and boards the other vessel to intimidate the survivors. This confuses the captain - not least because it's a space marine wearing it, but then bossing everybody around and accusing everybody in sight of foul heresy IS entirely in character for an Inquisitor.

Captain: Are you not servants of the Emperor?
Jrska: *Snrks at the phrasing* Correct.

Jrska is wearing the Stryxis device - the space marine is hard enough to explain, why bother explaining a mutant as well? Cassius announces that the entire loyalist crew are going to be mind-probed for signs of heresy, and that all relevant documents and data-slates be brought to the cargo hold for a Concludium. Essential, vast piles of paperwork will be shuffled, until some truth is reached.

GM: So you have your crackpot conspiracy board spread out over an entire cargo bay?

Not that the truth is important - since Cassius' plan is to escort the Imperial ship and it's captain back out into real space, and have them act as his intelligence agent.

Although there is one problem with having her work for us, and her thinking she's working for the Inquisition. Her combination of good looks and innocent naivety is strongly provoking Jrska's lust. Just as well she passed that last test back in the Ragged Helix, and is actually capable of deferring a pleasure.

Shadow Hawk: Ensign Newpilot flunked his flight safety quiz.
CDR Oldpilot: How did he manage it.
Shadow Hawk: The safe altitude over downtown San Diego is NOT three feet, Commander.
CDR Oldpilot: Oh good lord.
Non Aircrew PO: Sir, if you're flying three feet over downtown, do you have to obey traffic signals?
CDR Olfpilot: Shutup, Petty Officer.