Pariah

Is that a calculus joke? Let's not go off on that tangent, please.

What happened: For 17000 years, she has sought a way to become a goddess, a true Immortal. Now, at long last, she has the means to achieve the desire of her wicked heart. Through means as yet unexplained, she has obtained a weapon capable of killing a god: the Stone Knife of Jadis. With it, she intended to mortally wound a true Immortal and then drain his life essence, adding it to her own. This, she had determined, would finally elevate her to godhood. Having obtained the Knife, she just needed a victim. So, with the promise of great power as her own High Priestess when she ascends, Selene enlisted Tala to help her in her scheme. Using an ancient arcane ritual, they banished many of the most powerful people in the world to another Realm. Tala knew that such an act would attract the attention of the Phantom Stranger, her longtime nemisis. As though on cue, the Phantom Stranger made his way to Themyscira to investigate. There, the two sorceresses ambushed and managed to subdue him. They have now prepared an elaborate sacrificial rite in which Tala will use her powers to keep him bound, while Selene strikes the mortal blow with the Knife. (Neither trusts the other, of course. Tala intends to let Selene begin the ritual and then siphon the power away for herself. Selene, on the other hand plans to celebrate her ascension by making Tala her first divine sacrifice.) The ancient prohibitions against men still firmly in place, a group of the most powerful female spellcasters in the world will have to make their way to Themyscira and try to stop Selene and Tala before they can complete their abominable ritual. Will they succeed? Title: Malevolent Apotheosis

What in the pluperfect Hell is 'gulag chutney'?

Roast spotted owl

The Celtics are up 2-0 on the LeBrons. Now, if Houston will just pull their heads out, we might just have an NBA Finals© that I can really get behind.

The local MiLB team (the Bees) has Teacher Appreciation night tomorrow, which means I can get two free tickets and as many more at half price as I'd like. The fact that it falls on my birthday is a delightful coincidence.

Since I'd administering final exams today, I found this entertaining: New Colts OC is giving players written tests and at least one player likes it

Essence of Lake Erie

Why is it a pair of panties, but only one bra?

You've just gotta make it weird, don't you?

Q: Hey, wasn't this stiff wearing a pair of Ray-Bans when they brought him in? A: For that, you'd need £50, 1000 feet of 6-pound test fishing line, a plate of lingonberry eclairs, and a left-handed redhead.

We took a field trip to the Denver Mint when I was in elementary school. It pains me to think about how many years ago that's been.

Cancer had the midst amazing recipe for street tacos. His secret ingredients? Oatmeal stout and 30-weight motor oil.

It seems like I had 7:30 a.m. classes more often than not in college.

Root canal

A Chromebook isn't quite a computer, but it is a reasonable approximation.

Trying to make it through the last fifteen minutes of the last class of the year before final exams. Someone shoot me.

Aren't there some times when it's better just not to know?

Terrifying

L. Marcus publicly claims to be a Skåning, but is actually from Betelgeuse VII.

Politics

Do I even wanna know what that means?

Kafka

The venue for the wedding has been changed from St. George's Chapel to McMurdo Station.