Let me tell you a secret. They were already using boner to mean the other thing at that point. That's why they did that story. They were getting crap past the censors.
I've been very impressed with it. It borrows heavily from Fracton's (sp) run which was excellent. Hailee Steinfeld is an amazing Kate Bishop, and I don't even LIKE the character of Kate Bishop that much as a character so that should tell you something. Renner continues to give us the low key (Not Loki, that's another guy) slightly sardonic archer who is used to being over shadowed by his more spectacular peers, and is now retired. The first two episodes had a very good 'eager newbie' meets 'jaded but still good hearted pro' rapport.
A good mix of humor, some cool action moments, and memorable background characters/scenes.
Now that my first defence against global warming ("Ain't happening!") and my second ("Meh") are both discredited, I'm going with, "You young kids better not put me out any while you're fixing it."
I lived down the road from these dirtbags for the better part of a decade. They are _exactly_ the kind of trash you think they are, no matter how well they cleaned up for court.
I see at least one person in the DA's office is looking at charges, too.
Dont forget this: the verdict did not come about because law enforcement was involved. They saw the video footage and tried to hide it.
The verdict came about because the public saw the video and demanded something be done.
And my nomination for best line: "And it folded more dramatically than a European Soccer player faking an injury. "
Though "'I HAVE BEEN, AND ALWAYS BE... A BETTER ACTOR THAN YOU'" is a close second.
I'm glad that Viewpoint and Slime got a little time in the spotlight. While I know it's important to show how the rookies have progressed and grown, that shouldn't relegate the others to the basement. Nice balancing act, IMO.
Edit to add: Though I'm sure Lawnmower Boy would say that it needs 50% more Pogo.
When I said the island lit up, I meant it quite literally. There was zero attempt to hide the fact that this island was occupied. What looked like a decayed mental hospital suddenly sprouted gun turrets, while the island itself was suddenly crawling with ostrich sized dinosaurs of the preditoral varieties. Really, it was amazing they weren't eating each other.
'Careful guys, I think Ophiotaurus has taken Subterranean Rex's tricks and improved on them. Metal teeth."
'Copy that," Vareosa said, sounding a bit like her uncle when he says Roger, and then 'And our communicators are jammed.'
"Well, that's good news in a way' Bramble pointed out.
'How is that good news?' Hussar was confused, but I got it.
'It means,' I thought at them, 'that he's probably not able to hack us after all, or he'd leave it open to get our moves as we announced them. And that means he's not been hacking our line before this'
'Exactly' Bramble was glad I caught on, 'Still not crazy about those gun turrets though. I just got this hoverbike'
Valeroso and I exchanged some battle plans between us. You know, this mentalist stuff had it's advantages. Maybe every team should have one after all?
Coordinating, we gave our directions, 'Trailblazer, taunt the dinosaurs, distract them so the others can land safely. We take the car on the shore so others can unload'
'I can do it,' Trailblazer nodded.
'We may lose the car when we do that, but that's just one more reason to disembark fast,' Valerosa continued, 'but we'll make them pay for it. If a turret fires at the vehicle, Hussar this is your chance to fire that gun, be patient, when one shoots, it should have a moment before it can swivel back'
'Patience,' Hussar winced, 'Not my best subject but all right. At least I get to shoot the gun. Don't worry, I think if I 'fly forward' as I fire I can handle the kick back even in the air'
'I can help protect the car, put up a barrier of plant life to at least give it a buffer' Bramble interjected.
'Nice,' I said, 'And if Trailblazer gets a concentrated group of ground dinos in a tight group, can you corral them.. that is, the dinos, not Trailblazer . If they decide to go vegetarian they may eat through it fast, but it could help control the battle'
'Viewpoint? turrets, please. Slime, think you can find a way to infiltrate?'
'YOU WANT ME TO FIND A WAY IN? SO I CAN OPEN IT FOR THE REST OF US? CONSIDER IT DONE, MY SICKENINGLY SOLID FRIENDS,' No scrolling here, and his telepathic voice was actually quite lovely.
That's when one of the turrets sent out a beam of some weird energized particles and missed the flying car by a few feet.
I heard curses up there, many not approved by the Comics Code Authority.
Clearly those things had longer range than we thought.
'Okay, telepathic chatter allowed us to say a lot more to each other in a shorter time, but I think we've just proven there are limits' Valerosa said, 'Everyone go go... Aspirant, you're with me, if you go down we lose our last long distance communication option and I want you scanning for human minds'
And that was that, hard to have a football huddle when your enemy decides to lob a grenade in the middle of it.
One might have noticed I didn't get orders from Valerosa, nor did I give them. Hypocritical, I know, but in this case we both designated ourselves a bit fast and loose on the field. Of course ,if one of the rookies shot us in the butt by accident? Well, we kind of brought it on ourselves.
"Mayo" I asked him, "Can you do that 'mechanical stun' spell or whatever it is you do on some machines , on the turrets?" As I asked this I hit the shore. I had the head start, but I was way behind Trailblazer.. Much respect to the young lady, she was sticking to the plan and already was setting at least three of the scaley predators on a merry chase, and she was trying to get more.
Unfortunately there were a lot more.of them. I lost visual with most of my team as one lunged towards me even as Mayo answered me.
'I'm sorry, Eel. They're too far inland. I'll try to get closer but by then it maybe too late. This island has a lot of spiritual energy, a lot of it most unpleasant,' The way he thought that last word reminded me of someone finding something they did not expect or like in the soup they ordered.
'We'll make due' I told him as I grabbed the dino that was charging me, using its momentum to redirect it, well throw it really, into some of it's fellows.
A hover cycle shot over me and seeds dropped down around the mob that just got one of their own lobbed at them. Almost instantly, the five dinos found themselves in something of a sloppy but sealed hedge maze. Being dumb animals they raced along the paths at first trying to find the nonexistent opening.
The nearest turret turned on Bramble, building up a charge. Before it could, there was a cry of "WOLVERINES!" And a mighty kablam! Hussar had just fired his first shot in combat. It didn't hit the target perfectly, coming short of the cannon like protrusion of the turret. But man did it shake it, throwing the aim of the turret completely off and badly damaging the structure.
That was clearly a lot of gun.
With Bramble helping make a hole for me, I saw no reason not to finish what that blast had started, 'Double Tap Turn, Hussar' I menally thought, giving the code even now for 'I'm going to hit the target you just hit, please don't shoot me'. I could only hope he remembered the code. Of course, I could have just told him without code speak since we were mind to mind; but we weren't likely to have Aspirant around forever. So let's not risk letting the training slip.
'Do it, man, ##$# it up' he thought with glee. Hussar was, clearly, not a stickler for the code words. '##$# it up' was not a code word for affirmative. We could add it, but when Lady Obsidian got back she'd have opinions about our foul mouths.
Err, minds.
Launching myself like an olympic jumper on several, several steroids, I aimed my body towards the same large dent that the first blast had made and then punched at the last second even as I crashed into it. See, this is the value of certain engineering classes. If you ever decide to punch a tower with a huge gun attached, math and science can combine to let you take a pretty good guess where to do the most damage (To the tower, not your hand, though without super durability you will break that at the same time.) My fist broke though the already created weak point, I pulled said fist loose, taking an internal support strut with it.
And it folded more dramatically than a European Soccer player faking an injury. I dropped down, not that gravity gave me a choice, and rolled to the side to see it collapse. It was a satisfying situation.
"THANK YOU" flashed before my eyes, and Slime poured into the wreckage to find a way into the main building.
"You're welcome," I muttered and turned to see how the rest of the team was doing.
The answer was damned well. Enhanced or not, the pseudo-Dinosaurs were outmatched by a coordinated super team attack. More plant mazes had popped up. What surprised me wasn't that some of the beast had chewed through, but that they died a few feet after. Most without a mark on them. I was about to ask how the heck that happened when Bramble explained.
'Folks, do not eat the hedge mazes. I used some pretty toxic plant life' Bramble's thoughts traveled along our psychic network.
'Geez that's cold blooded,' Aspirant's pity for the creatures could be felt.
"Hello? Earth to Nova Scotian, they're set to turn to goo or butter after a few hours anyway, right?" Bramble pointed out. I could see her flying and still throwing more seeds around the island.
A few Dinosaurs were just getting wrecked by Valerosa. Even with teeth that could tear through metal, they were having a hard time of it. None of them were going to get past her to get Aspirant. Pogo , I noticed, was lingering near him too. If by lingering one means bouncing wildly from one dino to another knocking them into play for a neck snap by my co-captain.
And Hussar whooped as he and Viewpoint took another turret down. A moment later, there was a 'whiir' sound that got weaker and died. The other two turrets just depowered right there.
'Found the off switch' Slime told us, 'How is out there?'
'Lot of dinos turning to goo is how it is,' Bramble grinned, "Thanks to the Traiblazer/Bramble duo'
'Awww, but you really should get top billing,' Trailblazer was smiling.
''I sense minds, human minds are in play,' Aspirant said, a bead of sweat on his forehead.
Slime let loose a cry of pain which we all felt an echo of. Something had just hurt him, badly, and he was still on the inside.
'Slime!' Viewpoint's eyes flashed and carved at the wall of the hospital building. Looked like it was reinforced because while he made his marks, the 'cut out effect' he was hoping for didn't work. It did, however, make it really easy for me to charge forward through it. Faster than you could say "Oh Yeah!" I was in.
Any other time I might have declared that very thing as a joke. But years ago I had left Slime behind in a fit of overeagerness. Took him a while to get over that, and rightly so. I was not deserting him again. And Viewpoint was right on my tail.
I crashed into the building only to see Uniformed Agents with some very stylish weapons to go with their reinforced body armor with some stylish Greek Lettering on the shoulder pieces.. There were five of them, and they were blocking my path to Slime. Slime had seen better days. I think the best word for his condition was 'splattered' , was he even alive?
Very violent thoughts entered my head, and I wasn't alone.
Behind me, Viewpoint cursed "I'm going blast their hands off!"
I didn't think Slime and Viewpoint were that close, but it occured to me that while we'd been teaching the kids, Viewpoint and Slime had been doing a lot of the 'regular heroing'. That can establish a bond of duty on a rather intense level.
And here I had been worried about MY temper.
'He's alive!" Aspirant declared loudly in our heads. I could feel the relief, and desperation. He was trying to make sure Viewpoint and I didn't do something horrible we'd later feel guilty about. Or worse yet, do something horrible that we wouldn't feel guilty about.
One of Ophiotaurus Agents had his blaster pointed at Slime still, "This weapon's on a vibrational setting. Ophiotaurus says it should shake your friend apart- make painful for him to reform. Too many blasts while he's down? Might kill him. Your team surrenders now, and I won't have to do it," His eyes stayed locked on me, the other agents were aimed at myself and Viewpoint.
As I was gauging if Viewpoint could possibly fire first. After all, in his case, the eyes could literally be faster than the hand. But it was a gamble and not my life to gamble with. Time to check telepathically with the crew.
But before I could, Viewpoint spoke up, "So Ophiotaurus can study us? Maybe filter Slime like some experiment? Well, before we agree to anything," Viewpoint said, "I want you to know one thing, punk. Just one damned thing."
"Go ahead, make with the threats," The man sneered unimpressed, "What's the one damned thing?"
Viewpoint said with gritted teeth, "Meaty Minstrel never refreezes it's food. That's why it's popping fresh at any hour, day or night with portions big enough to make any proud to eat it. Meaty Minstrel- it's the DJ for your belly party."
"WTF?" The agent said, his helmet not able to mask his confusion.
'WTF?' I thought, right there with the agent. Sure, the guy had once been doing commercials for them but what the hell did Meaty Minstrel have to do with-
And that's when I realized that Slime had reformed. Viewpoint's rambling had dropped the guard of those who threatened to kill Slime a moment ago, enough for Slime to act. I could feel Slime's agony at the effort, then it dimmed.
Somewhere, I was sure, Aspirant was gritting his teeth taking in some of that aforementioned pain into himself and helping Slime focus. Long distance team work. When folks say 'It's the thought that counts' they mean telepaths.
So what should have been a desperate painfilled slap from Slime became a lot more dangerous and controlled! Slime surged forward all the agents, turning slippery, and wrapping them all up unable to fire at him. If they tried they'd just hit wall. They fell, stumbled, slipped and groaned as my jelly like team-mate threatened to smother the air out of them.
Turns out, closing in an alien semi-liquid life form is dangerous! And, said life form can be petty.
"IT'S IN THE VENTS!" Scrolled past one agent's face.
":FACEHUGGER!" flew past another's gaze!
"TO SERVE MAN: IT'S A COOKBOOK!" the guy who read that actually screamed, causing the part of Slime that was on his face to bubble!
Viewpoint smirked, "Now THAT is old school."
"He's studied the classics," I admitted to Viewpoint. The agents passed out from lack of air, and I added "Slime? Ah, buddy?"
'THAT... HURT' Slime managed as it gathered itself. 'THEY'LL BE FINE BUT ...OWWW.' and he lost his cohesion again.
"Crap, he can't talk to us like this, don't' know if he needs medical help or .." Viewpoint moved to Slime.
'Or? you could use the MINDLINK I'm busting my brain hump over' came very testy thoughts from our telepath 'Slime, just think something will you, let them know you're still with us?'
'VIEWPOINT?' The weariness and hurt leaked through the link, but along with some other feeling I couldn't place.
'Right here, man," Viewpoint moved down to the blob of blue ooze, "Right here and listening"
More thoughts rallied, and resumed, 'I HAVE BEEN, AND ALWAYS BE... A BETTER ACTOR THAN YOU' Then there were smelly bubbles which I translated as laughter
Okay. I'm not that good a leader, because I laughed. Loud. Guess the other feeling was that universal notion that some potshots are just too easy to pass by.
Viewpoint stared at the crippled but still conscious alien, "You stinky assed jerk, Just put a knife in my back next time." Then he looked at me, "Can we get him out of here? He's damn near inert."
'NO!' Slime protested rallying his will, "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURR-'
"Just stop it," I told Slime, "You look like spilled soup. We're going to get you pulled back and give you time to heal while the rest of us go on. Give yourself a breather. Otherwise, you'll slow us down."
'YOU ARE ONE COLD BLOODED, MAMMAL... BUT FINE' Slime slowly, very slowly, started to exit out the hole I had made to rejoin the others further back.
Aspirant declared 'More thinking brains on their way. Brains with guns!'
I cracked my knuckles "Round two."
Viewpoint nodded.
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