Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

[SteveZilla]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

... The Power Generator for their base is a bicycle light generator -- mounted on the team's bicycle that still has training wheels.

[Lawnmower Boy]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Twilight (Juanita Guzman? Siiobhan? Mistress Penance? Her parents keep scorecards now, just to avoid all the Gothy snitstorms): "Okay, one more time, Billy. Follow the lights, set your feet. Your shoulders will follow and you won't.... Ouch! Next time I'm wearing my Bloodstones!"

Captain Super-Ultra (Billy Washington): "How do you think my head feels? Look, I don't know what the fuss is. That girl's waterblast was like a firehose. No-one could have kept their feet."

Juanita: "The waterblast, maybe. But that wasn't the blast. It was some kind of stunt where she divided it up like a sprinkler. Billy T. stayed up. You just have bad posture. I mean, how are you gonna get the boys like that?"

Billy W. "Don't you worry 'bout that, girl. Okay, I take your point. But she was toting a stuffed animal. She was stealing Princess Barbies. How are you supposed to take that seriously? Honestly, she needs some girlfriends more than she needs a superhero intervention."

Juanita: "We were not having a pyjama party. We were trying to stop a store from being torn apart, so that some nice small business person doesn't go out of business because they can't afford insurance. And, mass destruction-wise, we could have done a little better on that one."

Snakes On A Plane (Jenny Wong): "Juvie is a terrible place, and Riptide is obviously a damaged little girl. Maybe we should have taken an interest. There's not much hope for the world if people who can, do nothing."

Juanita: "Jenny, remember that Simpsons rerun we watched last week? Malibu Stacy? "Being serious gives you wrinkles?" I wasn't going to tell you this, but it's true. Never be serious again. Oh, real mature. Is that the furthest you can stick your tongue out? If you ever get a real boyfriend ...hey!"

Mighty Chief, the Red Rock of Rectitude, Sachem of Strength, and Tomahawk of Justice [Dr. Georges Stonechild, Ph.D]: "How's it going, folks? Hope you're getting your routine down, because I can only keep this place closed this for so long, and Twilight hasn't refit my other outlets yet. And I..... Oh, Holy Mary, Mother of God, Miss Wong, you look like your mother ...did. And that was a remarkably stupid thing to say. I'm glad to see that I still have the gift."

Juanita: "She knows you didn't mean any offence, Dr. Stonechild, and she doesn't know how much your little superscience dialysis gadget affects you, either. I'll go bring her back. "

Dr. Stonechild: "Hold off. You guys do know that I'm compromised by Zerstroiten? Kidneys full of nanotech shrapnel, all that? I know that he's supposed to be dead, and he never took an interest in the l'affaire Wong before, but there's rumours about this "Shadow Destroyer" that you probably haven't heard. I'll keep my distance from Miss Wong for the moment."

Amazing Spleen (Brad Neilson): "If this is important. I....we have to know!"

Wolverine Boy (Billy Tatum): "Brad's got a girlfriend, Brad's got a girlfriend..."

Brad: "I do not! I mean, this is about Juanita!"

Billy W. "Well, she is sizzling hot. But she's a freak and plus she's your [urkh]!"

Billy T.: "That was one sweet move, Brad. But you'd probably better let him go before he remembers that superstrength beats leverage."

Billy W.: "Urkh?"

Billy T.: Sure, hands here, legs here, pull your head out. It's a cinch."

Billy W. "I wasn't insulting your cousin, Brad. All I'm saying is that she's 6 foot 4, smarter than Stephen Hawking, and more emo than Buffy Season 7. And it's not healthy using your chemical powers to give yourself adrenal strength and reflexes like that."

Brad: "Wow. You think I could use my powers like that? About Juanita... Look, I know she's a pain in the arse right now. But she's going through rough stuff. And it hurts me, too. Like, how clear are your first memories, from when you were 3 or something? I remember Juanita. She told me to look through this pipe and I would see something cool. I did, and, wham, she rammed it into my face. Raccoon eye, I guess, but I feel happy just remembering it now."

Billy W. "That's our Juanita. Doing Ashley Simpson makeovers before she solved her first equation. Oh, hey, Twilight."

Juanita: "The who the what now? Okay, Jenny's invited us over to her place to watch DVDs tonight. Brad, you're included, no matter what you think Mr. Wong says. We wrapped up here? I want to hit the library, and Billy's due at work in an hour, right?"

Doctor Stonechild: "Just a minute, there. A buddy of mine's worked out a routine for you, too, Twilight."

Juanita: "Me? I've got the owie going on!"

Billy T. "Didn't that happen a month ago? Yeah, last week of exams, just before Jenny went on vacation. Mr. Wong splinted you up, we had Indian takeout, watched 10 episodes of Futurama back to back, Mr Wong yelled at us for getting sauce on his pool table. Heh. "Bite my shiny metal..."

Juanita: "Substitute "me" for "us" there a few places, and your recall is perfect, Billy. But a month is not a long time for a broken arm to heal completely."

Billy T. "You get yourself regenerating, age-defying powers sometime, 'Nita. I been a teenager since 1985. Things fade a little. Maybe not so much butter chicken stains, but stuff."

Doctor Stonechild: "Which brings up a question. How did you break your arm, Twilight?"

Juanita: "I was rescuing a cat stuck in a tree. Trying to. End of story."

Billy W: "So the part where your boot jets turned you three loop de loops in mid-air and drove you into the ground, and you cushioned your head with your arm, and the cat climbed down just to check if you were all right? That's not a story?"

Juanita: "So the stability equations were a bit glitched. I still can't do any exercises right now."

Billy T: "A glitch like when you tried to capture Lash in the 'The Vampire's Teeth?'"

Juanita: "It's a miniaturized wire entangle. So I called it a dramatic name before it activated. It was poetic license. It was supposed to be jaggy and pointed like a vampire's teeth, not all ...loopy and stuff."

Doctor Stonechild: "This isn't actually the physical workout you're imagining. It is not a coincidence that your gadgets are having problems with directions. Let me get my notes here: 'Directionality is a key attribute to the quantities you are tying to manipulate. These are vectors, and they need to be treated as such.' Whatever that means."

Juanita: "Oh, this is like that introductory chapter of my calculus textbook, with all those xs and ys and zs with hats and arrows on variables. I just ignore that stuff. You can do the exams without them."

Doctor Stonechild: "Heaven help us from high schools teaching calculus. Clearly, you cannot, in fact, do without these vector things. I may not know how to solve calculus problems in my head on the spur of the moment, but, dear child, you may not be doing it as well as you think you are, either. Which is why my colleague, who shall remain nameless lest someone be listening, has suggested some reading for you."

Juanita: "A Condensed Primer of Vectors, Tensors and Quaternions? Who buys books like these?"

Doctor Stonechild: "Mostly smart kids who choose to learn their advanced maths from high school and TV and then have to relearn it. Formalisms exist for a reason. Be ready for an exam before you fix up my Camden store for me on Tuesday."

[bubba smith]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Lawnmower Boy, this is "Your PCs might be Underpowered if..."

 

It is not "Quote of the Week from my gaming group..."

 

Please move your post to the appropriate thread. Thank you.

lb slipped up again

[Zed-F]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

It's not a 'slip-up'. LB is taking quotes from this thread and making a story out of them. As such it's quite germane to the thread's topic.

[bubba smith]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

oh thats different then

[Lawnmower Boy]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Snakes On A Plane (Jenny Wong): "It's great to finally have a quiet moment to just, you know, talk."

Twilight (We got away with Nita, right? Maybe this whole "don't use my muggle name" thing is over? She always relaxes a bit during summer vacation...Okay, Nita Guzman): "Oh, I'm sorry that we haven't got together before this. After everything that happened on your vacation and all. But I had to read that whole book for Dr. Stonechild."

Jenny: "It sure was mean of him to embarrass you like that."

Nita: "Yeah, but about that. You know, I spent, like, 5 years trying to get Brad to work on his personal hygiene by calling him out in public. It just made him mad and defensive. Obviously I took the wrong tack, considering that Mrs. Crudup took all of six weeks for Project Bradover. I wanted to help, but I think I got hung up on thinking, "what would work with me?" Dr. Stonechild used what would work with me. And afterwards, he took me to a private dinner party for a bunch of collegiate b-ballers. I danced 'till 2AM with men I had to look up to."

Jenny: "Ooh, boyfriend material?"

Nita: "How do I put this... I think the young men that Doctor Stonechild knows are not really the kind of guys who get that scene. But still, gay pretend boyfriend is better than no boyfriend. Not that you'd know."

Jenny: "John was not a real boyfriend. He's a real dick. There's a subtle difference. But I know where you're going, girl. Stop trying to ship your cousin to me."

Nita: "I don't have to ship Brad anywhere. The package is on the porch, and the moment you find a way to pay for it with your Daddy's card, you're gonna be up in your bedroom unwrapping."

Jenny: "I'm sorry, little figure of speech. Nita didn't mean to torture you to death like that. Remember what Lise said about Brat, "a starving rat that someone dragged out of the rain and revived by rubbing it with a dead skunk?"

Nita: "Remember how Lise's locker jammed next period like it was fused, and when the custodian broke it open, her stash was sitting out on top of her gym shoes? "Cuz I don't mind being blamed for it, Denial-Girl. Oh, Jenny, I understand how much your Dad's opinon means to you."

Doctor Miles Dekkar: "Respect the death trap, you miserable scamps! I don't understand how you jammed the inlet jets, but I am back. You have exactly 30 seconds to plead for your worthless lives before your teen pep is dampened forever! [snicker]."

Nita: "[snicker]? Shouldn't that be [bwa-ha-ha]?"

Doctor Dekkar: "My daughter-in-law is going to put me in care if I have to go to emerg for an emphysema attack, again, reliable babysitter or not."

Miles Dekkar III (age 5 and 3/4s): "Grandpa, Monitor Lizard won't let us watch Bratz. We always get to watch Bratz at home."

Doctor Dekkar: "Fine: and as soon as we've had our final revenge on the thrice-cursed Wong, we shall go for ice cream!"

Miles and Josephine, but not Alexander Dekkar, who can't really talk yet: "Yay!"

Jenny: "You know, if you pick a mutated lizard as the right world-conquering monstrosity to be overseeing your grandchildrens' programming choices, maybe you should be backing it up? Just because Bratz is a cartoon does not mean that it is age appropriate. Also, wasn't your schtick more giant monsters?"

Doctor Dekkar: "The condominium covenant won't allow giant monsters! Now enough of these nattering distractions. Commence your snivelling entreaties, in the full knowledge of their futility, for I will have revenge even more crushing than all of those anonymous email photos I send to Shop-Rite management to show how messy their parking lot is!"

Nita: "Oh, we won't be doing that. We have an escape plan already. We were just waiting for you to get back to us."

Jenny: "Bouncy bouncy. Oh... I hope he didn't break a hip, there. Last thing we need is the AARP after us."

Nita: "Looks like the apes haven't broken into the room where your Dad's holding out. Think he'll fight his way clear, or should we lay down some fire support?"

Jenny: "Considering that the Furious Fists of Wong was 30 years and 30 pounds ago, I wouldn't bet on it. And anyway, the people with him are pretty much helpless. Fire away!"

Nita: "Wow, Jenny, that's like three blasts in a row, and you're still standing! What's that, a 100% improvement?"

Jenny: "Read me Good Night, Moon, again, Mommy?

Nita: "Okay, say 75%."

Doctor Dekkar: "Did you think you could dispose of me as easily as you did those evolutionary errors?"

Nita: "No, but I do have something in reserve. Have a bright flight! Oops."

Jenny: "I do like the new look, but it's going to be a bitch to maintain. Unless you just stick your fingers in a socket every hour or so. Or, hey, carry one with you! Good call for a gadgeteer! Any reason you're giving up on the pixie bob? Because I thought it was adorable."

Nita: "Ve-r-r-ry f-u-n-ny. Shield-ed. Try cold blast?"

Jenny: "Hey, that worked! And I only feel a little dizzy."

Nita: "Blonde joke is go! Seriously, are you growing out the roots?"

Jenny: "Yeah, it was a bit much. I think I'm going to go with the Grace Park look."

Nita: "Wouldn't that take surgery? Counter-productive, weird surgery?"

Jenny: "Okay, a full-figured Grace Park look. Whatever. Superheroines have to be busty, apparently, though I can't say I'm sorry that I'm a superheroine."

Nita: "You think that applies to the boys, too?"

Jenny: "One more crack like that and I'm taking your Anita Blake books away for a week."

Nita: "Oh, and you're not getting away that easily, Doctor Dekkar. Drop the walker, or we find out if my entangle is working yet.

Doctor Dekkar: "Curse you meddling children! I would have got away with it if not for you!"

Jenny: "Doctor Dekkar, it's been, like, 40 years since you fought the Liberty Legion last. The group's been broken up for over 30. Wong retired in 1978. Why now?

Doctor Dekkar: "This! This humiliation was too much to bear!"

Nita: "Heroic Ambiguities: UNTIL in America, 1948--1993, by Eric Rauchway? Okay, cutting to the chase, I'm sure it says something offensive about you in here somewhere in connection to Mr. Wong. But shouldn't you a) go after the author; or not care? It can't be a big part of the book, which is, like, 8 years old. Isn't there a statute of limitations on crazy?"

Doctor Dekkar: "He's a professor at a cow college. He has a blog, for the love of all that's unholy. Blah Obama New Deal Blah. Wasting post-secondary educational funding that could go into research into producing giant mutates. I went after real revenge. Something substantial."

Jenny: "And how did you find ....Wong, anyway?"

Doctor Dekkar: That book on the old Legion was pretty sparse on details, but it did mention that he owned a property management firm, and I know that those companies often specialise in building styles. So I remembered where I'd tracked Wong down to in the past, found a common architectural thread, did a LEXIS-NEXIS search for articles about art deco, tracked the firms that hired the authors, did a little statistical work, found a concentration in Philadelphia, hacked the firm's multiple residential unit renovations specialist's appointment book, sent some mutate pigeons to shadow the meetings. It took four tries."

Nita: "Hold it. Are you the same Doctor Dekkar who thought that trying to conquer the world with a coordinated assault on world capitals by an army of giant monsters was a logical thing to do?"

Doctor Dekkar: "Can't have 'mad genius' without "genius." By the way, can you put my grandchildren in my autoplane and hit Return on the override command console at 5:30? Monitor Lizard will take care of the rest."

......

Nita: "Did that sound a little fishy to you?"

Jenny: "Yeah. Dekkar noticing the places someone else lived? That'd be like the Neilsons noticing that Brad was out of clean clothes. Someone else is behind this. And I'll bet anything that they're looking for my Mom."

Nita: "See why Brad is perfect for you? Your Mommy issues are so equal and opposite, they'd probably disappear on contact!"

Jenny: "Nita? Not the time. If someone knows enough to chase my Mom, they know enough to endanger millions of lives."

Nita: "Fair enough. But first, could you hit your Dad up for some ice cream money? A promise is a promise."

 

 

 

Next Time: summer road trip!

[bubba smith]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

yourtop law enforcement contact ia PAUL BLART MALL COP

[input.jack]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

The END cost for running around in their skin-tight costumes makes them pass out before they can get to the team vehicle.

[jkwleisemann]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Y'know... I'm picturing a one-shot wonder character. Everything about him is at massive endurance multipliers; he has to be carted around in a wheelchair, but when he fires that one shot before passing out, he takes out passing starcruisers in the Alpha Centauri system....

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Your PC might be underpowered if...

 

... his fire attack is "almost nearly as powerful" as a lit sparkler.

... his wind attack is deflected by the target passing wind.

... her sonic attacks are quieter than elevator muzak.

... his "earth attack" involves finding a clod of dirt and throwing it... and he throws like a girl.

... his most powerful water attack is bought with "OAF: garden hose".

... her Flash attack doesn't work as well since she went off her diet.

... her Shrinking power involves squatting and ducking.

... his Growth power requires standing on a chair.

... his best Movement power requires bus tokens.

... your "brick" character can't even lift one.

... your "martial artist" character is most skilled in painting pictures of fights.

... your "gadgeteer" character can barely handle Fisher-Price plastic tools.

[jkwleisemann]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

He's accused of throwing like a girl, and the gal's on the playground take justified offense.

[bubba smith]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Your PC might be underpowered if...

 

 

... your "martial artist" character is most skilled in painting pictures of fights.

thats a martial ARTIST alright

[Korvar]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

He's accused of throwing like a girl' date=' and the gal's on the playground take justified offense.[/quote']

 

And he says, "I've improved!"

[Asperion]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

. . . Your specialty is running for cover - when there is any possibility of danger.

. . . the brick's defenses are more breakable than glass.

. . . the humidity in the air is enough to snuff out the flame master.

. . . your n-ray vision is blocked by air.

[jkwleisemann]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

And he says' date=' "I've improved!"[/quote']

...Because before he improved, they'd beat the ever-loving daylights out of him.

 

Not the person who said it.

 

Him.

 

Because it's easier.

[Pariah]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Instead of "Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound", the press describes you as "Just slightly less fast than a speeding BB, more powerful than an N-scale model train locomotive, and able to leap a pup tent in a single bound with a running start and a favorable tailwind".

[Tim]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

spending 2xp on your character represents a significant increase in his ability.

[SteveZilla]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

spending 2xp on your character represents a significant increase in his ability.

 

But your point total is still negative.

[Asperion]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

. . . They have an EGO of 3.

. . . A writing pen is considered a major attack.

. . . Their highest stat is 10.

. . . Paper is considered an impenetrable barrier.

[Kenn]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

. . . They have an EGO of 3.

. . . A writing pen is considered a major attack.

. . . Their highest stat is 10.

. . . Paper is considered an impenetrable barrier.

 

I saw a write-up for a writing pen I saw had it as a 3d6 HtH KA. The largest sword in the campaign was 2 1/2 d6 HtH KA.

 

Clearly, the pen was mightier than ...

 

 

Oh, never mind.

[tadk]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

You have more REC than END or STUN.

 

I hate to admit I have made a few characters that almost fit this. Now I must do so.

[Asperion]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

. . . it takes the fastest member one hour to cross the football field.

. . . the last time anyone called upon you for assistance, Pearl Harbor was bombed.

. . . getting hit by lemonade is like being splashed with a powerful acid.

[Pariah]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

...if you have to call your DNPC (old, frail Aunt Mary) to rescue you when you're captured by the villain.

[Ian Mackinder]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

...if you have to call your DNPC (old' date=' frail Aunt Mary) to rescue you when you're captured by the villain.[/quote']

 

... if your old frail Aunt Mary IS the villain.

[bubba smith]

Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

if your DNPC IS TOUGHER THAN YOU ARE